"Sam?" Sam's mind drifted back to her present reality. Porch. Table. Golden sunlight. Early evening breeze. Feet up. Peaceful.
"Sam?" Janet's voice finally got her attention. She'd been gazing off into the backyard, reflecting on how much her life had changed recently. Her present company was a huge part of that.
"Sam, do you know what next Tuesday is?" Janet's eyes told her it was ok if she didn't remember.
She thought for a moment. Was there a summer birthday? A friend's anniversary? Coming up empty, she gave her best friend an apologetic smile.
"We brought her here a year ago, next Tuesday. Her first steps on earth." She nodded toward Cassie. How time has flown.
Sam's eyes widened a bit and she sat back. A whole year? It seemed both much longer and much shorter than that. So much had happened to all of them. And the three of them had stuck it out together. Not always like champions, but always together. Always completely trusting each other to make life work.
"Mom, Sam, watch!" Cassie shouted from the back yard. She and the scruffy hound dog that Jack had adopted for her were playing fetch. Cassie pretended to throw the ball and the dog scampered a few yards off, then stopped, looking back expectantly at her. She laughed and smiled and faked a toss again.
"She's almost a normal kid these days." Sam mused.
Janet hummed an agreement. "Almost."
Something in the pitch of her voice got Sam's attention. "How are you doing with all of this, really? Are you ok?" She asked quietly, making sure her voice wouldn't carry out into the yard.
Janet sighed and leaned toward the table, propping her chin with her hand. "I'm ok." She replied quietly, "I've been thinking about her. What would she do if something happened to us? Other than the SGC, no one on this planet is 'hers' in any way. No relatives. I just… I wonder if her adulthood will be lonely. And I wonder if I can change that."
That's Janet, all right. Her main concern would always be for those in her charge, and never herself. But she was right, Sam thought. Everyone at the SGC knows Cassie's secret. Her relationship with them would be stronger and likely much closer for years to come. But what about after that? People got hurt. Got lost. Got reassigned. There would come a day when the first generation of humans through the Stargate would simply be scattered to the wind. It pained her a little to think about it. And though she didn't want to admit it, there might even be a day when she and Janet would be separated. It's not like the Air Force had any reason to make sure they stayed together. She wondered briefly if she could adopt Cassie, too, after the fact.
Both women sat in their thoughts, side by side, looking out at their little girl in the suddenly gapingly huge world.
Sam's thoughts finally keyed in on Janet's last few words. "Change that? How do we change that?"
Janet's reply was even more quiet that before. "I want to give her someone to always have her back. Someone who will always know who she really is, and want the best for her." She sat up and turned to look at Sam, then looked down, a little embarrassed. "I want to make her family bigger."
"Oh. You… want to adopt another child?" Sam wasn't sure where Janet was going with this.
"Not exactly adopt, I mean I guess that would be an option…" Her thoughts trailed.
Sam gave Janet a moment to finish her thoughts, but Janet pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly. She looked up to Sam. I want to do this myself. To give her another a piece of me. A real, no denying it, physical connection.
Sam looked back into Janet's big brown eyes and saw a hint of worry. "You want to give her a sibling." Her expression asked Janet what was wrong as she made the statement. They had talked before about Janet beginning to get back on the dating scene once Cassie had her feet more on the earth, so to speak. Had she found someone already? Was she worried Sam wouldn't approve?
"I want to give her a baby brother or sister."
She seemed almost to be asking for forgiveness even in her quiet happiness. But what for? Sam felt a slight pain in her heart. Was her "family" about to change? If Janet wanted to settle down and have a baby with someone, she was about to be spending a lot more time in the lab. She would never want to come between her best friend and the father of this new idea of a child.
Janet searched Sam's face as her eyes dropped and she sat back. Why wasn't Sam happy? She gave it a few moments, but Sam continued to be lost in thought. "Hey, you, best friend." Sam's eyes met hers. "Whatcha thinking?"
Janet still held her dreamy, happy expression. Sam couldn't help but give a small smile back. "I just didn't realize you were ready to get back out there." Janet looked slightly puzzled. Sam continued, feeling she needed to clarify. "I mean, I knew eventually we'd kinda go our separate ways, you know, with dating and work and all. Life. Moving forward. Just hadn't thought about it, really."
"And?" Janet could tell there was something left out in that statement. She lazily pushed at Sam's shoulder with the back of her hand. "Come on, tell me."
Sam kinked a half-smile at her, and pushed her back. "And, I'm spoiled rotten."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I've been living the family life without any of the cons, and all of the pros. I'm going to miss it."
Janet laughed. "None of the cons, huh? That's a very selective memory you have there, Major. Is the 'gate getting to your head?"
"Ha ha." Both leaned back comfortably in their chairs and looked at each other. Sam smiled lightly and just shook her head at Janet. She didn't begrudge her friend the new adventure, but she realized how much she loved having been a part of this one. "You're serious, aren't you?" Said Janet, suddenly sitting up. Sam gave her a questioning look. "You have loved this whole thing. And I thought you were just being an incredibly awesome friend." She sat back again with a bigger smile on her face, now shaking her head at Sam.
"What? It's not like I'm going to ever be someone's mom." Janet smacked Sam's knee in scolding. "Ok, other than Cassie." She looked to Janet to approve her correction, which she did. "I know that I'm married to the job. It's something I've come to terms with. Most of the time the work is so engaging that I don't even know what I'm missing." She threw her friend a look, knowing she knew this about her. Janet nodded. "But for the last year I've had the joy of coming home to a little girl that's partly mine, and her amazing mother. And now I'm spoiled." She emphasized this by making a pouty face.
Janet laughed at her and backhanded her shoulder again, and Sam pushed her pouty face closer to Janet, making noises and turning it into a fishy face, enjoying the easy happiness between them.
Cassie arrived in the middle of the laughter, plopping herself into Sam's lap and joining her mother's giggles at Sam's expressions. For her trouble, she got a cross-eyed fishy face pressed right up to her nose. Finally, Sam broke up with laughter and took a needed breath.
"Hey kiddo, how's the summer life?"
"It's awesome! I miss school, though. There's so much to learn!" Cassie's face conveyed her sincere excitement about her new planetary home.
"Yes there is!" Sam was so glad that Cassie didn't need to be pushed into education - the girl practically inhaled books. "And I know you got a summer reading list. How far have you gotten on it?"
"I finished it last week. But mom found some more for me. I was going to ask if it was ok if I read a little bit before dinner."
"Dinner! That's a thought." Janet wondered if she should just order take out.
"How do you feel about spaghetti?" Sam asked.
"Pretty noodly." She wiggled and dangled her arms as evidence.
"Well good, because I happen to know we actually have that in the house." Sam stated with satisfaction.
Janet gave Sam an appreciative grin. "And do you have someone in the house to cook it?"
"I think I can manage to not burn water today." She drew herself up and lifted nose and chest into the air. "Today, I will make dinner." Both girls giggled at her faux bravado.
"Ok, dinner in 45 minutes. You go read whatever you want, but I want you to wash your hands first. All the way up to the elbows! All right?" Janet had the mom voice down perfectly.
Cassie nodded and jumped up from Sam's lap. "Odie! Come on, boy!" The dog didn't need a second invitation, and Cassie managed to pull the sliding door open just in time for the barreling hound to fly into the house without crashing.
Janet got up, tucked her chair back in, and turned to go inside. Sam hadn't moved. Slouched back in her chair, one hand on the table, she looked to have been struck by a thought. Janet walked back to her and stood behind her chair, leaning down and putting an arm across Sam's shoulders. Sam let her head fall back into the hug. "Beautiful day. Too bad it's over," she said softly, not at all talking about the day.
"It's not over yet." Janet whispered. Sam took a deep breath, enjoying the hug. Janet leaned her head against Sam's for a moment. A kiss on the head, and she stood back up. "I still have work for you. Coooome on." She offered Sam a hand. "Dinner doesn't make itself. Yet."
"They're working on that, you know." Sam took the hand and finally got her legs under her, heading for the door. The sun was rapidly dropping behind the mountains off in the distance. "Wait." She stopped. Things might soon change, she thought, but the here and now was absolutely beautiful. "Come here." She pulled Janet to her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Understanding the intent, Janet tucked herself into her best friend's embrace, wrapping her arms around. Together they watched the sun move just to the top of the peaks.
"I bet you've seen so many beautiful things out there." Janet hummed happily, leaning into Sam's strength, as she did so often these days.
"Mmmmm." Sam tucked her under her chin, instinctively protective. Cassie wasn't the only one she worried about in the big, wide world. They watched as the sun slipped down and down. She squeezed Janet. "Yes, but all of my favorite ones are right here."
"Even the ones that make you cook dinner?"
"Especially those. And definitely anyone who eats my cooking. Blessed are the crazy." She broke the hug to pull back and smile at Janet. In the last dusk of light, the two women made their way back into the house.