YAHF
I own nothing. Well, I own my clothes, and computer, and some DVD's… I mean, I do not own any of the characters portrayed within, so no lawyers please! (especially if you've retained Wolfram and Hart!)
Also, I'm borrowing 'Keelia/Robin IV' from RobinIV
The Xanman Knows…
Sunnydale High
"Summers!"
"Yes Principal Snyder?"
"You and your little gang are volunteering to guide kids round on Halloween. It'll keep you from causing the destruction that seems to follow you."
"But, but…"
"I'd hate to have to suspend you three…"
"Yes sir."
"Ok"
"Yessir Principal Snyder, whatever you say sir…"
"Harris, shut up. You better come in costumes which are appropriate. None of those skin-tight lycra things or lot's of leather, you hear me. Better yet, no-one from those comics you read in class!"
With that, the winner of the most odious human being who doesn't break the law or have the police after him walked off, having thoroughly disrupted the friends night off.
Ethan's Costume Shop
While the girls headed to the women's section of the store, Xander raced to the container marked 'Guns', looking for something to complement his surplus fatigues. His fatigues still had a name on as he hadn't dared risk ripping the outfit. The name was Kawalsky.
"Oh, darn and tarnation…"
Unfortunately, the container was empty.
"May I help you sir?"
"Huh? Oh, unless you have any more toy guns out back, no. I've got the fatigues at home, but…"
"I see. Well, I am Ethan Rayne, this is my store and I refuse to let anyone miss out on Halloween due my culpable mistake in not ordering enough firearm simulacrums. Look around, find a costume you like, then come to me and we'll work out a deal."
"Well, sure. Thanks!"
Looking around, Xander gravitated towards a selection of costumes. Batman, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Superman. Then he remembered.
"Stupid Snyder 'Nothing from Comics', evil he is." he muttered.
Glancing around, Xander noticed a costume on a mannequin. Walking around it, he took in its particulars. A pair of boots, trousers, shirt, jacket, high collared trenchcoat, a cloak of all things and a very wide-brimmed hat, all in matte black. Over the trenchcoat but under the cloak was a black double shoulder holster, each holster holding a chromed, pearl-handled, automatic pistol. The only splash of colour was a scarlet scarf, covering half the mannequins face with one end tailing over it's shoulder to hang down its back.
"Cool."
"Indeed"
Ethan had been keeping an eye on the lad, there was something about him that appealed the Chaos within him (Not in that way, perverts.) Having made his way over while the boy was admiring one of his better creations he continued.
"During the 30's and early 40's, there were rumours of a Shadow in New York City, who fought crime. A lot of people assumed it was media hype and the police always said there was no Shadow, but a lot of people wondered. That is based on the only extent picture, taken in 1941. He was supposed to cackle as he went into battle and when he spoke it was a growl. Supposed to have answered any 'How' question with 'The Shadow Knows…'. Interestingly, there are a goodly number of people whose Last Will and Testament thanks 'The Shadow' for the life he saved. Always wanted someone to wear it, but those who've heard of him seem scared, while those who haven't want 'Batman' or similar." Ethan sighed, "I don't suppose you'd be interested…?"
"Well, it looks cool, but my cash reserves are limited, and there's no way I could afford this."
"My boy, I already owe you for running out of military replicas, and as no-one ever hires this anyway, you can have the entire thing for fifteen dollars."
"Wow, thanks Mr Rayne." said Xander "Maybe I can sneak up on Giles and scare him…" he mused.
"Would that be Rupert Giles? Formerly of Oxford university?"
"Sure, do you know the G-Man?"
"I'm an old acquaintance of his. Best not mention me to him, I'm afraid I tended to torment the bloke. Now, if you'll just wait at the counter, I'll get this ready to go."
"Sure."
Xander made his way to the cashiers desk, where he waited patiently as Rayne manhandled the mannequin into the back. Rapidly divesting it of the costume, he carefully packed it away in a box. After all the effort he'd gone to, to get this, he'd been annoyed when no-one wanted it. "Now, a lad whose close enough to old Ripper that he calls him 'G-Man', this calls for something special." He grinned nastily as he leant over the costume.
Later that Night, the Summers Household
As Joyce Summers opened the door, she was surprised to find no-one there. Stepping out, she called
"Who's there?"
"The Shadow" a voice growled.
Joyce yelped in surprise as she whirled one hand raised either in the beginning of a defence or, um, just random waving. The shadowy figure stepped into the porch light.
"Sorry Mrs Summers, didn't mean to scare you." apologised Xander.
"It's ok Xander, just a shock, that's all. Come in. And I've asked you not to call me that."
"Thanks, but you really shouldn't invite people in after dark. After dark invitations also bring in bad luck, just step back and gesture. It's an old Sunnydale tradition."
"Willow tried to get me to that to, it just seems rude not to invite someone in."
"Trust me Mrs S., no one you want to know will be offended."
"If you say so." Joyce looked unsure, then brightened "So, the infamous 'Shadow', of New York I assume?"
"Yeah, I was gonna go as a soldier, but the costume guy made me a great deal."
"Hmm, I remember hearing my parents tell me stories, but no-one I know believes them."
"Well Mrs S., to quote the G-Man, 'There is more in this world than is dreamt of in your philosophy', I try not to discount stuff or believe stuff without supporting evidence. Nice costume by the way."
"Thanks. I got it when we got Dawns costume, the owner gave us a nice deal."
"Nice guy, he gave me one too. Let's see, red wig, wire rim glasses, ordinary clothes, hmm. Any Props?"
"Just a wheelchair."
"Merciful Zeus! Oracle! You're going as Oracle!"
"Dawn insisted."
"XANDER!"
A girl in her early teens rocketed out of the back of the house and launched herself at Xander, bowling him over, his cloak flaring as the fell, then encompassing them both.
"Whoa Dawnie, easy on the power there."
"Dawn! Get off Xander at once. That is no way to greet a guest."
"It's ok Mrs S., getting fed by you once a week is more than sufficient payment for being the target of Intercontinental Ballistic Dawnmeisters. Though she does seem to look a tad different."
"Still…"
"Xander, do you like my costume? It's…"
"No, let me guess. Hmm. Hmm. Spider-Girl? No. Wondergirl? No. Maybe…"
Joyce looked on at the young man and her youngest daughter. He was, perhaps, the only boy she felt completely comfortable with spending time with her daughters. His endless quips and quick wit were endearing, but it was, oddly enough, his tendency to openly disagree with Buffy and do his own thing that showed her he had no ulterior motive concerning her eldest. His initial confusion, followed by an immense blush and stammering rebuttals when she cornered him once to warn him off Dawn (Who thought her crush on a certain Mr Harris a secret.) had convinced her on that score as well. No-one can convincingly babble a disagreement that isn't genuine. She had also overheard Buffy and Willow talking about Xander saving Buffy's life, which while obviously an exaggeration, was reassuring, sort of.
"Xan-der, It's obvious, I'm Robin!"
"Ah, the Girl Wonder, the Dark Squire, the, um, teen titan?"
"Yeah, I read a story 'bout a future Robin called Keelia, she was cool and a girl and Robin, so Mom took me to the new place, Ethan's, and I got this!"
"Cool Dawn-Patrol. Now, Robin, I have an important mission for you."
"What Xan?"
"Let me up."
"OH."
Blushing, Dawn quickly got off Xander, allowing him to get up and brush off his costume. As he was doing so, Buffy came down the stairs in full 18th Century regalia.
"Buff! Duchess of Buffonia, I completely renounce spandex!"
"Xan-der" whined Dawn.
"Well, maybe not all spandex…"
"Don't perv on my sister! Wait till you see Willow."
Joyce grinned as Willow came down the stairs dressed as a ghost.
"Thatsa nice 'boo' ya got there Wills." complimented Xander
"Willow! You said you'd wear…" began Buffy
"Hey, it's her choice Buff." countered Xander
Willow glowed at having Xander defend her, but no-one could tell, because of the sheet.
"You four had best be going if you want any free time tonight."
"Thanks mom, wait, four?"
"Xander agreed earlier that Dawn could go with his group."
"Yeah Buff."
"Oh."
Outside Sunnydale High
"So, Xander, who are you dressed as? I've been trying to figure it out." asked Willow.
"I am he who knows the evil which lurks in the hearts of men."
"Doesn't help."
"Sorry Buff."
"Ooh! Ooh! Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?" asked an excited Dawn.
The night seemed to darken as Xander drew back and began to chuckle menacingly.
"The Shadow Knows…"
"Ooh, I did a paper on him for English, 'The proliferation of Urban Myths'. It seemed to fit the profile except for the number of first-handaccountswhichistheonlythingtosuggesthemightnotbemadeupbut thepowersandabilitiesattributedhimareoutofthisworld." Willow babbled.
"Will, remember where we are and who we're with?"
"What? Where are we? Who are you with?" piped up Dawn
"Not important Dawn-Patrol. What is, is that it's time to help these kids get candy!"
"Dawn, behave for Xander." ordered Buffy.
"I'm gonna, but not 'cos you said to!"
As the Scooby Gang, minus Giles but plus Dawn, broke up to find their groups Snyder bustled up to Xander.
"Harris! I told you nothing from comics! Your blatant disregard for orders will have you in detention for a week!"
"But Principal Snyder, I'm not dressed as a comic book character."
"Name anyone who'd dress like that outside the realms of primary colour escapist fantasy."
Xander's voice dropped "The Shadow."
"Hmm. Get out of here Harris."
Xander, with Dawn tagging along went over to his assigned group and began to instruct the newest students in 'Xander's School for Extraordinary Halloween Candy Hauls' in the tactics most likely to succeed .
"Now, to get the most candy, tears are key. You can always try the 'You missed me' routine, but it's risky, only go there for chocolate, understand?"
"How'd you know this?" asked a sixth-grader trying to look cool in a homemade Batman costume.
Xander grinned behind his Scarf.
"The Shadow Knows…"
Ethan's Costume Shop
Ethan Rayne invokes Janus (Insert impressive special effects here)
A wave of Chaos magic radiates out over Sunnydale, changing all those in costumes or carrying accessories from Ethan's Costume Shop. In all but two of the transformations everything went as Ethan had intended, a non-permanent transformation into whatever the individual was dressed as. The two people who did not change as intended were one Alexander Harris and Dawn Summers. Of course. Xander is himself an unknowing agent of Chaos (You think he broke a Codex Prophecy by wishing?) he is himself, without destiny or people in charge of his life. Dawn, being the key, also reacts weirdly. In both their cases (identical results being so unlikely that identical results resulting is the ultimate expression of the Chaos magic inherent in their situation (read it quickly and don't think about it too much.)) while the initial possession goes off as intended, they will remember the skills and retain the abilities and memories of those they're possessed by. (Boring bit over. Back to The Xanman Knows…!)
"Urgh."
"Are you ok?"
The dark clad man glances about him, taking in the brightly garbed girl and the small monsters attacking an old lady. Leaping to his feet, he draws his twin pistols, pulls each trigger twice, scaring most of the monsters away. One, the largest, charges him instead. He adjusts his aim, only to start in amazement as three 'R' shaped throwing daggers fly past him to strike the creature. It falls unconscious. He turns to his brightly garbed companion.
"Who are you?"
"Robin. You?"
"I am known as the Shadow. I would appreciate who you really are, as if I recall correctly, the 'Robin' you are garbed as is male and exists only in comic books."
"I've never heard of any 'Shadow' and I have files on every meta on the planet. Your ludicrous assertion that I am a comic book character is probably an attempt to distract me from the invasion at hand."
The Shadow begins to chuckle, "My dear, your mind is an open book to me. You are as unaware of the cause of our predicament as I. As you seem more than capable of protecting yourself and others, I advise you to go and help those less fortunate than yourself."
"How do you know people need help?" asked Robin, suspiciously.
"The Shadow Knows…Keelia." he said, as he shimmered and disappeared only his laughter remaining.
"Well, this sucks…"
Throughout the night, the Teen Wonder worked tirelessly to stem the madness, occasionally coming across evidence that this 'Shadow' character had been there already. Finally, at about four am, a second wave of magic rippled over the city. Unfortunately, Robin was in mid swing when she was suddenly Dawn once more. Falling five meters to the ground (Sunnydale is hardly Gotham you know) she landed awkwardly, managing to break her right arm. Without really thinking about it, Dawn used the detective skills of Robin IV to work out a) that wasn't natural, b) so it was supernatural, c) vampires were real (she'd dusted a couple as Robin), d) Buffy hadn't been crazy, e) Buffy knew about this, f) she did fight vampires, g) she hung out with a librarian who seemed to care for her, h) the school library was the place to go if something weird happened. She was halfway there when a thought struck her.
"Oh my God, Xander!"
Lamont Cranston surveyed his surroundings. After leaving the girl, he wandered the town, scaring a lot of the towns supernatural inhabitants. The change in surroundings disturbed him, as did his apparent change in age, height, physique etc. Thankfully, his powers still worked.
Case in point, apparently intangible red-head ran right past him. For some reason she was calling for a sander? And dawn? Well, nothing could hurt her as she was intangible, just as she can't hurt anything. He then came across a blonde he knew all too well. Tapping his power further he entered the warehouse. His voice echoed around the room.
"Do you think you could escape me, William? Did you think I wouldn't know where you went?"
He stalked the vampire, staking a couple of minions as he went.
"You've killed a lot of people William. It's time you paid for all you've done."
"No mate, me an' Dru 'ere will be leavin', after yer dead an' drained." he turned to his minions "This here guy thinks he's the Shadow. Can't be though, 'e disappeared in tha 40's."
"I'm back William."
For a second Shadow dropped his clouding of their minds, his cloak billowing about him and scarf streaming.
"You will pay."
He disappeared again, and another two minions dusted. Spike and Drusilla began to retreat, forgetting utterly about the helpless slayer in the corner, when the ripple of magic ended the possessions.
"Huh!" Xander looked at himself, then at Spike "I'm so screwed."
"The Whelp! Ooh, I'm gonna like this…" Spike started forward.
"Hey Spike, normal service has resumed." and Buffy punches him across the room. She turned to check on Xander, who was looking confused. While she was distracted, Spike escaped out the back of the warehouse.
"Where's Dawn?"
Sunnydale High Library (Outside)
"Since when is the library locked? Where's Giles?" exclaimed Buffy "We've got to gather the gang to find Dawn!"
Xander looked off into the street. "The G-Man's car is incoming, Wills is making her way here and hmm…"
"What is it Xan?"
Silence is all the answer Buffy receives, as she turns to look at Xander, she discovers that he has disappeared. "Wait, how'd he know Giles and Willow were coming here?"
"Hey Dawn-Patrol"
The voice came from all around her, echoing and deep.
"Who's there? Is that you Xander?"
"Who else calls you that?" replied Xander as he slips into view (From an alley, not overt use of the Shadow.)
"Xand! Something really weird happened tonight, and Vampires are real and I remember being Robin IV and, and, and…"
"Easy Dawnie. Slow up. Are you ok?"
"I've kinda got a broken arm."
"Lets get you to the hospital then. I'll phone your mom and see if I can contact Buffy."
"Ok."
Xander carefully rigged a sling with his scarf.
"Least this matches your costume, hey." he said, with his trademark lopsided grin.
"Yeah."
Needless to say, they arrived at the hospital without mishap, and Xander made first conscious use of his new abilities.
"You do not need to know how she broke her arm. You will treat her then forget her."
"I don't need to know how she got hurt. I'll just treat her and forget her."
"I'm rather relieved that worked."
Then a task that scared Xander more than a repeat of the Master's Rise, he had to phone Joyce Summers and tell her that her daughter had been hurt, broken bone hurt, when he should have been looking after her. Eep. Trudging to the payphone's he dialled the number, but there was no answer. Thinking, he dialled the library.
"Rupert Giles speaking."
"G-Man, thank god."
"Xander, are you alright?"
"I'm at the Hospital with Dawn, and Mrs Summers isn't answering the phone. Is Buffy with you?"
"She's out looking for both you and Dawn actually, as is Willow. Now, calm down. Dawn will be fine and no demon would dare touch Joyce. I'll let the girls know as soon as possible. I'll need to talk with all of you regarding possible after-effects of all this."
"I've seen some already. Ok G-Man, see you tomorrow."
"I'll probably give Buffy a lift."
"Thanks."
Ten Minutes later, SHS Library.
"She's where!" Buffy shrieked.
"At the hospital. Xander took her apparently."
"I'm going there."
"I'd assumed. I can drive you, if you wish."
"Thanks Giles."
"Your welcome."
Sunnydale General Hospital
"Mrs S! What happened? Why are you arriving in an ambulance? What's wrong?"
"Well, for some reason I can't feel or move my legs.
"What can I do?"
"Nothing, dear. I'm going to talk to the doctors and see what happens. Actually, tell me how Dawn is."
"Looked like a broken arm, but as I'm not family so they haven't told me more than 'She's fine'. But I'll find out and then I'll find you and fill you in, ok. You rest up and get better."
"Thank you Xander."
As Joyce was wheeled off, Xander made his way to reception.
"Look, just tell me how Dawn Summers is, please."
"You are not family, therefore I can't tell you."
"Her mother was just brought in with no feeling below her waist. She needs to know, so tell me so I can tell her!"
"Sorry, hospital policy…"
"Give me the diagnosis and prognosis of Dawn Summers."
"Dawn Summers has a simple fracture in the upper arm. With proper care she should make a full recovery."
"Thanks. Where would they take Mrs Summers?"
"Hospital Policy…"
"Oh hell, Where would they take Mrs Summers?"
"Ward 3, just down the hall."
"Ok. Thanks."
As Xander turns to the hall, Buffy, Willow and Giles burst into the emergency room. Looking round, they make they're way over to him. Xander notices and waits, then pulls Giles to one side.
"G-Man, how permanent are the changes. Will they wear off now that the spells ended?"
"Xander, any effects of the spell ended when I broke the idol, around four."
"Not All. Mrs Summers was brought in just now. She was dressed as someone without the use of their legs. She still can't feel them Giles! And I've got the Shadows memories up here" he tapped his head "and Dawnie looks to remember something about being Robin."
"Good Lord."
"Xander, did you say Mom can't use her legs?"
"C'mon Buff, she's this way."
The four make their way down to ward 3, and by process of elimination find Joyce.
"MOM!" Buffy barrels towards her, pushing assorted nurses and doctors out of her way. A couple start to snap at her, then do a double-take and leave her be. Xander alone notices. Willow follows to support her friend.
"Hey Mrs S. Dawn's gonna be fine, clean break, should heal perfectly."
"Thank you Xander. Buffy, I'm fine, calm down."
"No you're not, you can't feel your legs!"
Xander motions Giles to one side.
"G-Man, if this is long term, we need to tell Mrs S what happened. And the easiest way to do that is tell her everything. I know the damage done to Oracle, it's not repairable, but it is liveable with."
"Xander, as you know, secrecy is important to the Slayer, as much for her family's protection as her own."
"Right now, Joyce is in supporting mother mode, trying to protect Buffy. When it sinks in she'll need to understand how this happened as a way to help her accept it. Plus, if Dawn figures this out, she'll be inconsolable because she convinced Joyce to take that costume."
"But…"
"Finally, if the results are permanent, both Mrs S and Dawnie could prove very helpful. Mrs S'll have the potential to become Oracle for us grunts, while Dawnie'll be capable of being Robin, Giles. The one girl in all the world trained by Batman, good enough to lead super powered people despite no powers of her own. Plus, my own, changes, don't feel like they're going anywhere."
"Xander, how do you know all this."
Xander chuckled,
"The Xanman knows, Giles."
And with that, he disappeared from sight.
"The Xanman Knows…"
AN: Hey all, I might do a sequel, if you guys like this enough. Oh, and, please press the little button on the bottom left of the screen and leave a review. You know you want to…