Author's Note: It's another one! I feel like I've been cursed to write nothing but Clive/Elza oneshots for the rest of my life.
This, unlike my other Guild-centric stories, was written after I finally got a look at the translation of Suikogaiden Vol. 1, Chapter 3, where Elza talks in detail about her flight from the Guild, particularly the night before she leaves. It surprised me a lot, and it definitely changed how I looked at Clive's motivations during his quest in Suikoden II.
Disclaimer: Suikoden belongs to Konami. Rating is for language; violence and suggestive themes are referenced or implied. Many thanks to Rin-Uzuki for her translation.
If You're Sure
Clive heard somebody stop and lean against his door. He'd already guessed it was Elza – anyone else would have knocked – when he heard her voice. "Hey, you in there?"
Clive should have been pleased. He'd hardly seen her lately, not even a glimpse over the past few days, and she might drop by his room late at night for any number of reasons. But already he was on edge. Elza's voice through the door was heavy, and there had been too much unrest in the Guild, too many whispers, for Clive to assume she was simply tired from a long day.
Her anxiety was clear as soon as he opened the door. She must have been deliberately training late, her clothes still dusty from the practice ring, and she had her white cloak bundled between her side and arm. Her eyes, green above the faltering line of her scar, watched him closely. Like she watched him during a sparring match, just when she realized she'd probably lose. But also how he saw her whenever he got a bad knock in a fight and woke to find himself in the infirmary and her guarding the bed.
Clive stepped back to let her in, then shut the door before he asked what was wrong.
She was glancing around his room, an instinctive check for danger. She'd never liked it much, the dark stone walls and floor, the bed sunk into the wall itself, closed in on all but one side. But to Clive, it always felt secure. There was no closet, no tall furniture, no window. Everything could be assessed in a moment. It was one of the few places he knew well enough, felt safe enough to sleep through the night.
Elza hadn't acknowledged his question. He asked again, stepping to her elbow with a vague thought of guarding her.
"I got a summons. From Kelley."
Kelley sometimes sent them messages when he wanted to see them, even casually; for a Guild Master, taking the time out to find them himself wasn't always possible. But he didn't send summons. Summons went through the Elders, usually calling them to uphold one of their duties as Knight gunners.
"Kelley wants a duel."
"The equinox trials aren't for months," Clive said. Even so, while the rest of the gunners competed, the Guild Master was only supposed to arbitrate, not demonstrate his own skill. Kelley and Elza hadn't dueled in a trial for three years.
She gazed at him.
Clive shifted his weight. "What then?"
"He wants a real duel. Tomorrow morning."
"He's testing you," Clive said before he'd planned it.
"Testing me?" She squared herself to him. "Why would he test me?"
"He's proving a point to the Elders. You said yourself he's been knuckling under them too often."
"This isn't just a gesture. The guns will be loaded."
Clive's defensive instinct was quickly shifting to frustration. They shouldn't even be talking about this. "He's planning something."
She watched him as if waiting for something else. Her collarbones lifted as she drew in her breath. "I'm going to kill him."
"You don't mean that."
"He isn't just knuckling under anymore. He's changed - "
"You don't."
" – and if I don't stop him, he's – "
"Elza!"
Elza broke eye contact, pacing away from him. Abruptly she threw her cloak so it landed with his on his dresser. The grip of her pistol shone from the holster on her thigh. Her mouth was twisted; she was too upset to hold it to a firm line.
"You can't kill Kelley." Clive didn't say – didn't even think of it – in terms of her ability. The three of them had spent their lives protecting each other, all through training and relentless missions. "Just – You've misunderstood. We're looking at things wrong."
"I don't see how."
"I don't see how you can think Kelley would do this!" But the moment his voice rose, grew harsher, Elza's mouth flattened, resolute again. Clive took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "He's our friend."
She opened her mouth to speak.
"I don't care what the Elders have made him do." Which he wouldn't have said yesterday. He and Elza had been worried for years over all the small, but always building, ways the Elders got to Kelley, forced him to make terrible decisions, forced him away from both of them. But even so, the Elders hadn't changed Kelley, not deeply. In the few times they'd been alone this last year, Clive always saw the weariness in Kelley's eyes, the fragile relief he felt whenever not under the Elders' watch. "He doesn't see himself as one of them. He's still our friend."
Elza's face softened. Clive didn't wholly like it – he saw pity, clear as day – but he also saw an advantage. He put his hands on her arms, both drawing her close and boxing her in.
"Then why does he want to kill me?" Elza's gaze hovered at his shoulder, her voice almost flat. "If he's still my friend?"
This time, Clive took a moment to consider. "The Elders sent the summons, not him. You were right, they're...they're angry there are three Knight gunners. So – they want to punish you or test your loyalty. So you can't go down there and accept the duel tomorrow."
"You're telling me to disobey the Guild?"
"Obey the Guild Master. Kelley didn't order this."
"That doesn't make any sen–"
"Even if you do go down tomorrow," Clive broke in, "Kelley won't duel you! He'd never. So all you'll be doing is proving that you want to kill him. Is that what you want?"
Elza's arms were rigid under his hands. She lifted her eyes to his, guarded but unable to hide her pain. Her lips tightened, then she looked down. Then pulled on his arms, pulling the both of them down so they sat on the edge of his bed.
"You have so much faith in him."
"Hell. Elza. You do too, it's just..." The last two years had been hard. The three of them had succeeded in their Knight training, one had become Guild Master, but it seemed all they'd gained was disappointment and dread. "You love Kelley."
Her hands tightened.
"You can't duel him."
When she looked up, her gaze had steadied. "What happens when they come for me tomorrow?"
"They'll find both of us. All three of us, once Kelley hears of this."
"They could - " Her voice broke. "Clive, if you stand with me, they'll kill you. I don't want - The Elders might want my blood, but if you die, I - "
"Elza. It won't come to that."
His voice seemed to startle her out of her sudden, short panic. She lifted her hand, touched his mouth, not to silence or challenge him. Clive didn't know what focused her just then, as she traced the line of his mouth to his jaw, looking into his face without really meeting his eyes. He didn't speak.
With a light intake of breath, she leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss, as if she was afraid of hurting him. As if this was something she'd never done before. "You're right." She cleared her throat. Kissed him again. "You're exactly right."
Clive woke in the night, momentarily unsure why he was uneasy. He couldn't see in the darkness. Both his arms were wound around Elza, his face tucked against the back of her neck. She flexed her shoulder, an abrupt, unsettled movement.
"You can't sleep?" he whispered.
Silence before she answered, her voice quiet but clipped. "I'm fine."
He didn't think he'd been asleep long, and the last thing he remembered was Elza settling contentedly against him, her lips warm on his cheek. He'd fallen asleep relieved he'd calmed her worry, and his own.
"You aren't still...?"
He didn't realize how tense she was until she suddenly relaxed, let out a breath. "I'm fine," she said more naturally. "I'm not going to kill Kelley."
Just hearing the possibility again made Clive restless, but getting answers from the Elders could wait. Keeping Elza calm, keeping her there, was more important. He kissed her hair. It was still dusty from training. He couldn't help thinking of fights. "Don't worry."
He waited to see if she'd answer or if she'd already dropped to sleep. But after a long silence, her shoulder muscles jumped again. "Your arms must be deader than mine. Let me turn over."
He broke his grip so she could shift herself. When he moved to latch an arm back around her, she stopped him, instead finding his hand and letting their joined fingers rest on her heart. "Don't worry. I'm all right now."
"If you're sure."
"You're sure, aren't you?" And even if it was subdued, he heard the teasing in her voice.
Clive leaned to kiss her one last time.
The bedroom had no windows, so Clive never woke with the rising light. He woke once he was rested, opening his eyes to darkness. His thoughts gathered in a moment, and he stretched an arm out, not for the lamp but for Elza. He knew she'd be anxious again, and he wanted to hold her, reassure her that Kelley would see to it things turned out all right. True as his words were, he knew he often wasn't a convincing speaker – his own fears always shot through his voice – but if he could say it in a whisper, she might believe it.
His fingertips grazed the blankets.
He sat up, listening for any sound, either in the room or outside. Reached out – quicker than he'd told himself to – and cranked his lantern up, light flaring across the bed, the floor.
Elza's clothes were gone, as was her long, sheet-like cloak.
Clive forced himself to breathe slowly, forced himself to calmness. Until, like a panicked heartbeat, the Tower's alarm bells began to ring.
