"Ne, Bossun," began Himeko one sunny afternoon as she curled up on the clubroom sofa, "guess what Nakatani-san from Class A told me today?"
"Ne, Himeko," retorted Bossun, waspishly, "guess what I really want to know today? I want to know who this damned Nakatani-san is!"
"Oh, forget about Nakatani-san!" cried Himeko. "Switch, did you know that a group of exchange students have arrived at our school today? Just imagine! And they're all really cute guys!"
"\(^O^)/! I'm pretending to be interested for Himeko's sake! And for Bossun's sake, I'm warning Himeko to stay away from those cute guys!"
"Wait, what? What's my sake got to do with the cute guys? Oi, Switch, explain your weird statement!"
"Switch, did you really think I'm interested in the cute guys? After I saw them two minutes ago? JUST HOW LOW AN OPINION DO YOU GUYS HAVE OF ME, HUH?"
"\(* *)/!"
This very normal, relaxing SKET afternoon was about to turn into something slightly less normal, though our dear members didn't know that.
"Oh! I can see them!" cried Himeko excitedly, pressing her chin against the balcony railing.
"Oh, aren't they handsome? I've heard that they're from some really rich school especially for those of noble blood," commented Captain.
"OOOOOH, look at that dashing tall one with the blonde hair! He looks just like the ideal manga prince I drew in my latest manga!" squealed Roman, her eyes morphing into pulsating hearts.
"If he looks anything like something you drew, I wouldn't want to see him," grunted Bossun, irritably.
"Ara ara, the rumours are true," said Mimori, joining the viewers from behind. "My dad knows the father of the dark-haired one with glasses. His business empire is only slightly larger than our own."
"Richer than Mimorin? Cho yabasu!" put in Yabasawa-san. "And handsome, too! I wonder if one of them would notice me?"
"Hah! Wealth and looks do not truly make a man one of worth!" scoffed Shinzou. "For a good example is our very own Bossun-dono, who is a man of true worth and yet one of neither wealth nor looks!"
"I will agree with you there," noted Switch.
"DWHM: Despicable Wealthy Handsome Men," chimed in Daisey.
"Excuse me, what is all this commotion?" called a familiar voice from behind. "Will you all kindly stop leaning over the balcony as if though you were spying on someone?"
The exchange students looked up. The eavesdroppers all dropped down to their knees as one and hid beneath the balcony wall.
"What is the meaning of all this tomfoolery?" went on Tsubaki Sasuke, President of the Student Council. Then, spotting the curious group on the floor below, "ah, the exchange students have arrived! Excuse me while I go and introduce us to them. And kindly, behave," he added, striding down the stairs.
"Ooh, we get to be present for Tsubaki's introduction ceremony," giggled Himeko. "We can find out their names firsthand, girls!"
"Excuse me! I am the Student Council president, Tsubaki Sasuke," called Tsubaki as he strode towards the group of 7 boys in blue uniforms. "And you are the exchange students from Ouran High School?"
The tallest student lifted his head and surveyed Tsubaki through his piercing blue eyes. He brushed his golden hair away from his face and extended his hand.
"I am pleased to meet you, young member of the populace," he said. "I am Suou Tamaki, King of the Ouran High School Host Club." A slight "ohhh" arose from the watchers on the balcony.
The bespectacled one inclined his head slightly. 'Vice President of the Host Club, Ootori Kyoya." ("That's him," added Mimorin.)
"Personal gentlemen of the king, the Hitachiin brothers Hikaru and Kaoru," put in a pair of red-headed twins from behind them.
"Jeez, could you guys act a little normal?" muttered a slight, dark-haired one behind them.
"Morinozuka Takashi," inserted a tough-looking, low voiced senior from the back of the group. Indicating a small, cute baby-faced blonde boy, "this is Haninozuka Mitsukuni."
"A loli-shota!" cried Roman, excited. "My, it's an entire reverse harem! Just like a shoujo manga!"
"Shut up with the technical commentary, Roman," grumbled Bossun.
"Call me Honey," the boy wheedled. Overhead, Roman collapsed.
"Fujioka Haruhi," grunted the small dark-haired one in a disgruntled tone.
"He seems like the only normal one of the lot," commented Himeko in an equally disgruntled tone.
The bewildered Tsubaki only had time to take in all this before Tamaki and the twins began to express their rather forceful opinion.
"Must say all this is a little extreme on the simplistic side," commented Hikaru.
"Oh, don't be rude, Hikaru, we mustn't insult the commoners' standards," cut in his brother in a hushed voice that was only too audible.
"It is indeed an honour for you to enjoy our extensive patronage," remarked Tamaki airily. "I suppose we would like to be shown around now? How would you like to be shown around a commoners' school, Haruhi?"
"Shaddup," growled Haruhi.
"Nice to enjoy the extensive patronage of you guys!" called down Himeko, in whose hand the hockey stick was already swinging. "In case you guys are exerting your niceness a little too far, though, I'd be happy to give you a taste of-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down everybody!" shouted Bossun, coming down the stairs to the rescue of a scandalized Tsubaki, allowing the others upstairs to restrain Himeko. "No need to go at each others' throats yet, we can wait until we've all gotten to know each other to do that, yeah?"
Calmly handling the situation like he usually did, Bossun introduced the students of Kaimei High to the Host Club, allowing the situation to cool down naturally.
"And if you guys ever need any help," he finished, "we- I, Switch and Himeko here- the Sket-dan are ready to lend a hand with whatever you need."
"Thanks," replied the boy named Haruhi-who had been forcibly keeping the rest of the Host Club quiet until the pleasantries were over. Abruptly, Tsubaki cut in.
"Actually, Fujioka-san, the actual association that has been given the authority to assist students on this campus would be the Student Council. We would be far more efficient in providing you with assistance."
"Oh heck yeah! When was the last time you guys ever managed a request without screwing the situ, huh?" retorted Bossun.
"I am sure we have many times-"began Tsubaki, who was abruptly cut off by a "Ho, ho, ho!" as Principal Karamatsu approached them.
'Now, now," he began in his genial manner, "surely there is no need to disagree about this again? I'm sure we've made it clear to everybody that both these clubs are authorized to help students on campus?"
"Y-yes, sir," muttered a disgruntled Tsubaki.
The Principal laughed. "Well then, there is no need to argue any more, is there? I would prefer everybody to focus instead on the upcoming school dance and making our visitors' stay a pleasant one! Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to take our dear exchange students on a tour of Kaimei."
"Delighted, sir," replied Kyoya smoothly. "You are most privileged."
"Eh? What was that?" questioned the principal, but he let it drop. "Ha ha ha! Well, anyway, why don't we start now? Everybody, please get back to your club activities!"
"Hai, sensei!"