Disclaimer: I do not own anything (this includes the song "Lips of an Angel by Hinder or the Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer).
Lips of An Angel
By: Sovoyita
My phone rang loudly, echoing through the room. I jumped up, startled, before turning to excuse myself to the strawberry blonde in my bed. She didn't give me the chance.
"Go ahead. Just hurry back, okay?" I nodded before running to the other room and grabbing the cordless and placing the receiver to my ear. "Hello?" I heard the loud sniffling the other end, accompanied with quiet but familiar sobs that broke my heart.
"Bella?" Her sobs got louder and I could hear her struggling to breathe, her unstable emotions getting the best of her. "Bella, why are you crying? What happened?!" Her sobs quieted to small hiccups and soundless tears as she collected herself. Her voice was unsteady.
"Edward," I almost cried at the way my name sounded on her lips, creating sweet overlay to her tears. "I can't do this anymore." My breath stopped short. The momentary euphoria I felt dissipated quickly, leaving me with nothing but the crash after the high. My mind couldn't comprehend those words, not now.
"…what?" She sighed and a hiccup reverberated through my ear. I could picture her shaking her head, so lost in her own emotions that she couldn't control it. "Edward, I can't do this anymore. This…whatever it is we're doing…it's not good." No, no, this can't be happening. Not when I need her, not when I love her.
"Bella, what are you saying? You don't…I-I thought you wan-wanted this…" I could hear a small sob echo through the phone and immediately I tried to stop my own tears from flowing. The sound of her crying because of me would have been enough to bring me to my knees had I been standing. When had I sat down? I recovered from my thoughts to hear her speak.
"Not like this Edward. I can't live like this. Sharing a life, sharing you, I can't do it as easily as you can. Selfishness has always been one of my flaws, you know that." A hysterical laugh made its way up my throat like vomit before spewing out in short bursts that sounded completely wrong. This couldn't be happening. The thoughts from seconds ago were rearing their ugly heads, laughing at my face as they saw me struggle to comprehend what was happening. And when it caught something, my vision turned red and I spat into the phone.
"Bella…do you think I want this, to have to share you, to have to watch as you crawl into the arms of another man? Do you think that I like pretending to be in love with someone out of obligation rather than actually feeling love? No Bella. This isn't what I want. And it's not easy. Now, are you going to tell me why you're crying other than that?" The harshness of my voice was unfamiliar to me, like a bad taste in my mouth. Only another reason for Bella to hate me. To loathe me for doing this to her.
She sniffled but attempted to cover it with a cough. "You can choose her, you know. I would understand. I mean, who would want me, the stupid, ugly, naïve Bella, right? I knew this would happen. God, I'm such an idiot. So stupid, so gullible, so useless…" She muttered angry curses at herself, blaming herself for everything again. Blaming my faults, my mistakes, on herself. And I lost it. I took the phone and ran outside the door and into the apartment hallway, away from Tanya's ears.
Before she could utter another self-sacrificing word, I growled. "Don't you dare say that, Isabella Marie Swan! I refuse to allow you to take the blame for this. If you even mumble a word of fault towards yourself again, I swear on all that is good and holy-" She cut me off.
"You'll what Edward? Break up with me? Tell Jacob? Too late. I already told Jacob. He knows everything and do you know what? He forgives me because he knew that I could never love him, not truly love him the way I love you. And if you break up with me, fine. Because I've realized that if I can't have all of you without the limitations of having to share your heart, then I can't have you at all. It hurts too much. It hurts so bad…I don-don't think I can take it anymore." She was sobbing by the time she stopped speaking, breaking my heart all the more. My Bella, the selfless, big-hearted, beautiful Bella was giving herself to me, making herself vulnerable purposely. And the honesty of her words shone through brightly, blinding me with the love I felt for her.
Though she may not have been aware of it, I felt the exact same way about her. It killed me to watch her fall into Jacob's arms, him being there to catch her whenever her clumsiness overtook her, causing her to fall like an angel to the ground. Her very lips touching his, her hands being held in his, and her eyes being searched by his was often too much to bear. Whenever I saw them, I would turn away and try not to hide the jealousy and anguish from her. If he had found out, it would have been the end of our secret. But now that the secret was revealed on one end of the spectrum, I felt like the shadow that often followed me was now relieving me of some of its imaginary weight.
"You…told Jacob?" I asked, astonished. Though relief was my main emotion, the curiosity was a strong enough feeling that it persuaded me to ask. She sighed and answered, "Yes." I opened my mouth to ask but she beat me to the punch. "I couldn't keep lying to him. He's my best friend, practically family. He suspected something anyway. I can't lie, remember?" I nodded absently, absorbing this. Normal Bella behavior, that's what this was. I was sorely tempted to go find her and show her my appreciation, to give her the same kiss I gave her when we first touched lips. But when I realized that my fantasies were irrational, I couldn't control my mouth anymore.
"You don't love me anymore, do you?" The question came out sorrowful and as painful as vitriol on skin as it exited my lips. Was the truth supposed to be this painful? The answer was clear, but somehow, that made it so much harder to think about. How could she love a hideous monster like me, a hideous monster that hurt an angel for his own selfish needs?
And to add to my humiliation, she did something that surprised me. She snorted. "That's a stupid question, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. In fact, it's so stupid that I'm starting to think that you really believe that I don't love you anymore…do you believe that, Edward?" Her tone wasn't sad or humorous. No, it sounded irritated or angry, as if she really didn't think it was so possible.
"Bella, I know how you are. You don't want to hurt my feelings. It's fine. I've hurt you enough; it's understandable that you hate me." She sighed angrily and spoke. "Do you honestly think that I would call you if I didn't love you anymore? To hell with that. Edward, if you really think that I would stop loving you just because of this little problem, then you really have little faith in me. Didn't I tell you before? I can't live without you in my life, in my world." Somehow, I became the emotional one in this conversation, tears cascading down my cheeks in rivers that didn't want to stop. I thanked the heavens that Bella wasn't here to view my fall back down from my pedestal.
Suddenly, Bella too was crying, as if she knew what I was feeling. The strange connection we had when we met seemed to still stand today, keeping us close even when we were far away. "How did this happen, Edward? How did we go from boyfriend and girlfriend to mistress and philanderer?" I chuckled darkly at her choice of words before replying. "So, I'm a philanderer now?" She giggled tearfully.
It was true that we weren't always this way. Tanya and I hadn't been together forever, nor had I ever loved her. And I knew for a fact that she didn't love me, not really.
Bella and I had met at Dartmouth, both freshmen and new to the college life. While she was majoring in English, I was going for psychology. And on the walk to class, Bella tripped into my life, literally. She had fallen down the stairs of the campus, landing on me and taking me down with her. From the moment that green eyes met chocolate brown, I was in love. The cliché "love at first sight" thing had never made sense to me. It was true that my parents and my adoptive brothers and sisters had fell in love in what seemed like an instant, but I didn't expect if for myself. Not when I had sinned so much in my past. But all that changed with one gaze from a pair of deep brown eyes.
I had avoided Bella at all costs, distancing myself so I wouldn't feel so vulnerable, so weak under her control. But one day, she confronted me, her face red with a blush of anger and sadness as she questioned my strange behavior. That day, I discovered that I easily flustered Bella just as she did me…and that she couldn't lie. And though I had grown to be a fairly good liar in my years, I found it painful to even attempt to spew blasphemy in her presence. No, she was my kryptonite.
After that night, we began dating exclusively, enjoying the blissfully happy moments that filled our days. But then I made a mistake. Jealousy had always ruled me when it came to Bella and other boys. So when I saw Mike Newton, the college pretty boy, hanging around her much too often for my liking, I had allowed the green monster to come out and consequently…beat of Mike Newton. When Bella had found out, she assumed that I had thought she was messing around with someone else, trying my trust with her. It was my pride that got the best of me, pushing me to tell her that maybe we needed a break from each other. What I thought was anger in her eyes was truly her heart breaking before my eyes, but my vision was too clouded. And when I realized what I had done, I went to her, only to find her crying in the arms of her best friend, Jacob Black.
Tanya Denali was a family friend who, coincidentally, went to Dartmouth as well. She had taken a liking to me and would have been a pretty nice girl…if she hadn't been so promiscuous. After hearing of Bella's and my "time out", she asked me out and out of courtesy and the need to distract myself from the sorrow of my dying relationship with Bella, I accepted. What I didn't know was that Bella was one of the first to hear of my date with Tanya. One thing led to another and she and Jacob were a couple.
Weeks past before Bella and I actually talked again and it was all my accident. Again, Bella's clumsiness brought us together. She had tripped over air again and somehow managed to knock us both into the janitor's closet, which, coincidentally, locked from the outside. We were stuck there, forced together until the janitor came. She and I both ended talked awkwardly until I broke, begging her to take me back. The relationship with Tanya was one-sided. Her lust for me was blinding her, making her believe that she wanted me for me and not my body. And that's how we reunited in secrecy.
Bella felt that she owed it to Jacob to at least allow him to break up with her. I felt the same about Tanya. I hoped that maybe she would find my rules on 'no sex before marriage' unappealing, but no. She was stuck on the idea that she would be the one to take my virginity, awkwardly enough.
And here we were, talking and crying over the phone as we both realized how stupid we were. Neither of us perfect nor able to have a relationship with someone other than ourselves. So full of flaws and so quick to hurt ourselves for the other while, in reality, we were hurting the other and ourselves more than we would if we just let things continue the way they are.
And then I knew. Everything seemed to clear, like crystal. My mind was rushing with ideas and I almost dropped the phone.
"Edward? Are you okay? Hello?" I fumbled with the device before placing it by my ear.
"Bella, I'm fine. I'm perfect. I want you to call Alice and ask her to take you shopping," her groan was audible and I couldn't help but laugh at her silliness. I hadn't felt this free in so long. "And tell her that you need a dress for tomorrow, preferably blue silk and meant for a special occasion." She stuttered to reply but I didn't let her speak. "And I want you to be ready to be picked up tomorrow night at eight, alright? Good. I love you Bella, so so much. I'll see you tomorrow."
I pounded my fist into the air and walked back into the apartment. Tanya was just walking into the living area and raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me.
"What took you so long? Is everything alright?" I shook my head and looked at her seriously.
"We need to talk."
Well, this one shot was unexpected. I didn't really plan on writing it and I admit it's not my best work, but here it is. I've seen the music video so many times since I've downloaded it and the idea has been picking at my brain for awhile. It felt like having a chicken pecking your hand thinking that your lifeline is a worm. Ew.
Anyway, just to clarify, Edward and Bella are both virgins and neither did anything sexual with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Tanya had no idea that Edward was going behind her back to be with Bella. Tanya is not evil in this story, she is just…Tanya. Jacob understood Bella's love for Edward. He didn't like it, but he understood.
And if you didn't figure it out, Edward was going to break up with Tanya. I just decided to cut it off. I'm tired and I should be asleep right now. By the by, I apologize for not updating my stories recently. I have some major stuff going on but at the end of the week, I get out for Christmas break, so things should be getting along well after that.
But I have a favor to ask.
CALLING ALL NEW YORKERS OR MANHATTANITES!!!
I need to know of occupations that middle class people have, places that they may live, etc etc. I need to know. Seriously. NO JOKING AROUND HERE. And someone tell me about life there. I kinda want to get the gist of life in the big apple or that weird island. I'm a small town girl from Texas. I've never left this state (ok, I've gone to Mexico, but that doesn't count. They are practically attached anyway).
Anyway, for all of you who may be even remotely curious, I'm writing a story called "Human Trafficking" based on a Lifetime Movie (yes, I watch Lifetime on occasion). But I'm prewriting all the chapters so that you all don't have to wait long for reviews. It's easier to do that. Also, it's a fairly short story that will be rated M for rape and slavery. I don't know how many chapters it will have, but they will all be short and eventful.
Oh yeah, my sister and you said drugs were bad wants to co-author a story with me, so look forward to that too. And, funnily enough, there will be two new characters in that story that have never been introduced to the Twilight/AU universe. Beware, lol.