A/N: If there is a particular crack pairing of your choice, just let me know and I'll try my best. I'm open to most pairings except pedo ( ) and SasuNaru because I use to be an avid believer of Sasusaku and Naruhina. Drop your rating too if you want (ex. K, T, M)
-15 years prior to the original Naruto serie-
Tsunade was in a bad mood. It wasn't like her to crash from chakra depletion. The audacity of that damn nurse. She needed a drink, seriously. Busy in thought Tsunade looked up to see her snake-eyed teammate. Gross. Of all the people to see, probably that pervert Jiraiya would have been better.
"Tsunade." Just like him to be a gentlemen and greet her. She knew he was a creep and a freak. Then a thought occurred to her, what about other skills? Was he a freak too?
"Orochimaru, come with me." Tsunade grabbed her teammate and before long they were in Orochimaru's apartment. Neat and tidy and just ugh. Nothing interesting, she was bound to get something out of her teammate.
"Tsunade, you shouldn't be in another man's room this late." Goddamn he was pissing her off.
"Let's play strip poker Orochimaru." She quickly silenced her teammate with a glare. Obviously with Tsunade's luck, it wasn't long before she was in her bra and underwear. Nevermind, Orochimaru won again.
"Tsunade, we should stop here." Tsunade was furious, she hasn't seem him crack at all, she was going to get something out of him. Tsunade smirked and removed her bra, leaving her proud melons in full display of Orochimaru's eyes. His pale face was soon flushed and he turned around.
"YOU KNOW EVERY MAN IN KONOHA WANTS TO SEE THEM BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING RESPOND TO ME AT ALL. OMFG ARE YOU A MAN?!"
That was it. Orochimaru shoved topless Tsunade on his bed and Orochimaru's name came out of Tsunade mouth all night long.