"So... what do you think Magnus wants from us?" Clary asked Jace.
They stood in front of the door of the building in which Magnus' apartment was in. "I have no idea," Jace said with a shrug before ringing at Magnus' door. "Maybe he wants to talk about Alec."
"About Alec? With... us?"
"Well, maybe he'd like to hear the opinion of a woman in this matte. I tried to talk him into talking to Alec once more over and over again. He wouldn't listen. But maybe he would listen to you since you're a... girl. You know? Girls understand the matters of the heart."
Clary shot him an amused glance. Before she could reply, though, Jace said, "Maybe he wants us to play Cupid so he and Alec can get back together again."
"I'm pretty sure Magnus would be quite capable of getting back together with Alec himself if he wanted that."
"Would he? What I do know is that Alec isn't capable of winning Magnus back. I even had to crush his phone so he wouldn't call him all the time without saying anything on the phone. He would just hang up on him. They're both acting childish."
Clary just shook her head, though didn't say anything. She felt sorry for them. Alec didn't deserve to suffer like he did, neither did Magnus. But they couldn't do anything about that. Neither she, nor Jace. Though Clary knew that Jace would do anything to get them back together. He couldn't stand to watch Alec suffer with heartbreak.
When Magnus had buzzed them in, Clary and Jace took the stairs to his apartment.
"Good evening, Shadowhunters." Magnus greeted them, a faint smile crossing his lips. He stepped back from the door so Clary and Jace could come in.
"Why did you ask us to come here?" Jace said without returning his greeting.
"What makes you think that there was any purpose in inviting you both to come here?"
Jace looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Clary still envied him for being able to do that; she always wanted to be able to raise just one eyebrow. When she tried to do that, she always looked like she was in deep pain.
"You never do anything without a reason. Especially not when it concerns me." He looked at Clary, taking her hand almost unconsciously. "Or Clary. Is it about the Heavenly Fire? Did you find something out about it?"
Jace had asked Magnus if he could find out anything about the Heavenly Fire. How it could help them to stop, to destroy Sebastian; what consequences the use of it might have for all of them. What it could do to Jace... And – especially – to the ones he loved.
It had become quite difficult for Clary and Jace to be together. They had to be careful all the time. When they would let passion take over themselves, when they let themselves lose control, Clary got easily burned by Jace's Heavenly Fire. Just one touch could burn her. Nothing bad had happened yet, nothing an Iratze couldn't heal.
Though Jace was concerned. He was afraid that someday he might set her on fire.
He was afraid that he could kill her.
And this time he was completely aware of what he was doing. Though he couldn't control the Heavenly Fire yet, he was himself. When he'd been possessed by Lilith, he had not been himself when he'd hurt Clary.
The thought that this... thing inside him could hurt her was unbearable for Jace.
"No. It's not about the Heavenly Fire either. I'm afraid I haven't found out anything about it yet. It's something else. I..." Suddenly Magnus seemed quite nervous, Clary noticed. "I wanted you to meet someone." He pointed at someone who was standing behind them. Surprised, and even a bit startled, Clary and Jace turned around.
A young woman, almost still a girl, surely not much older than Clary was, was sitting on Magnus' couch. She'd been so quiet that Clary hadn't noticed her. The woman looked at them. From Clary to Jace and back again. Her eyes locked on Jace then and she stood up, a small smile crossing her lips.
Jace just stared at her, confused. "Who is that Magnus?"
Before Magnus could respond, though, the young woman moved closer to them. Just a few steps from Jace she came to a halt, still looking at him. The look she gave him reminded Clary of how her mother sometimes looked at her. A look of clear adoration and something deep, something meaningful.
"Your eyes...," she whispered, stunned. "They look just like his eyes. And... Dear God, you have Edmund's hair. You look... you look amazing."
Jace just stared at her. "Uhm. Thanks. I've been told that before." He looked at Magnus. "Who is this?" he demanded to know. The woman didn't let Magnus answer, though. She answered Jace' question herself, "I am Tessa Gray. Well, actually, my name is Tessa Herondale."
Jace turned his head back to her, staring at her unbelieving. "What?"
A small smile crossed her lips. "I know that this must seem very confusing to you, Jace, since you thought that there aren't any relatives of yours that are still alive. This is, however, only partly true. I was... I was married to one of your ancestors. I was..." She hesitated. It seemed to be very hard for her to talk about it. Watching her, Clary had a feeling that Tessa's heart was about to break.
"I was married to Will Herondale." she said at last.
Jace couldn't look away from her. For a moment, he seemed to be completely speechless. And Clary could understand that. There were a thousand questions racing through her mind – she could only imagine how he must feel right now. How was it possible? How was it possible that this Tessa had been married to one of Jace's ancestors?
"So... when you say ancestor..."
"Will died in 1937. We met in London back in 1878. Will wasn't much older than you are now when we met."
"How is it possible that you're still alive, then? And don't mind me, but you look like you're not a day older than 19 or 20."
She smiled again, though her smile looked rueful and sad. "I'm a warlock. And I already know what you are going to ask me now," she said even before Jace could open his mouth. "You want to ask how it is possible that Will and I had children of our own. Well, it's quite a long story and it would probably take some hours to tell you all of it. But I'm not an ordinary warlock. I am the daughter of a Shadowhunter and a demon. That makes me... quite unique. And that is why I was able to have children. Also, it is the reason why I don't look older or why I'm still alive. As you know, warlocks are immortal."
Jace still stared at her like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Clary couldn't believe it, either. Tessa was related to him. She was one of his ancestors. A warlock – or some sort of warlock, at least. Clary thought about what she had just told them. Her husband had died in 1937. He'd been dead for over a century. Clary wondered if Tessa had been alone ever since. How awful that must be; living your life on your own after the one person you'd loved most had died. Clary couldn't imagine life without Jace. And she definitely couldn't imagine eternity without him.
Clary didn't even need to ask Tessa if she missed her husband. You could see it in the look of her gray eyes when she talked about him. There was sadness and love, both mirroring in those eyes.
"It was your book," Clary blurted out all of a sudden. Tessa looked at her. A smile crossed her lips, brighter now, as if she'd noticed Clary for the first time. "And you look exactly like him. Like Henry. Charlotte would be pleased with you, I'm sure of that. You look just like her beloved husband. I knew your ancestors as well, you know."
Clary just stared at her, unsure what to say. It was odd thinking about it. Thinking about people she was descended from and yet she didn't know them. "It was your book," she repeated. "Jace and I had... had found a book that must have belonged to you. And... and Will. A Tale of Two Cities."
Tessa looked at her for a long moment. "I was afraid the book had gotten lost." She sighed, sounding relieved. A wave of guilt rushed over Clary. Of course Tessa couldn't possibly know what had happened to the book. "Will and I had left the book to our children and they had left it for theirs. I'm happy to hear that you got the book, too, despite everything that happened."
Clary couldn't bear to look into Tessa's eyes. She didn't need to tell them how much this book and the words written in it meant to her. Clary remembered when Jace and her had lain in bed that night in Sebastian's apartment. When he'd read out the words to her.
With hope at last. William Herondale
Clary remembered the words. She took a deep breath before saying, "It got lost nonetheless. I'm sorry but... I'm afraid it is gone."
Tessa looked at her for a long moment and she could see the sadness in her eyes. She managed to compose herself quickly, though. "Not all things that seem lost are really lost. Things we truly cherish are never lost to us. Maybe you will find it again. After all, this book belongs in the hands of a Herondale." She looked at Jace. "It belongs to two people who truly love each other."
Jace kept looking at her. "This is all quite... confusing."
"I know. And I wasn't even sure if I should see you. I had left my own children and my grand-children behind after Will died because I couldn't bear to watch them grow older and die. Immortality is cruel, Jace Herondale. It takes away from us the ones we love."
She looked at Magnus. "Magnus is one of my closest and oldest friends. When he'd told me about you, about your upbringing and the circumstances of your birth, I knew I had to see you. I still wasn't sure if it would be the right thing to do, but I just thought that it would be good for you to talk to someone who knows about your descent. I know you might not feel like it and it is understandable, but you're a Herondale, Jace."
Jace stared at her for a long moment in silence, thoughtful. At last he said, "You said that my eyes looked just like... his eyes. You also mentioned an Edmund. Who were you talking about?"
"I was talking about my son," she said and Clary heard Jace suck in a breath. "James Herondale. My eldest son. You have his golden eyes. Edmund was Will's father. He left the Clave because he fell in love with a human. He gave up everything for her."
Tessa looked at them both. Her eyes wandered to their hands; Clary and Jace still held each others hands without realizing it. "I always thought that there is one true love for every Herondale man. And I think this hasn't changed."
"So... you're my great-great-great-great-grandmother, then?"
Now Tessa flashed him a real smile. It was the most beautiful smile Clary had ever seen. "Something like that, yes."
"That's quite... astonishing." was all Jace said. Clary knew that it was hard for him to hold back his feelings. She knew that it must confuse him quite a lot to meet Tessa Gray – Tessa Herondale.
"Though I'm glad we met. It surely wasn't easy for you to do this. I know that I am a Herondale, by blood, but I never had anything to do with them. I never knew my parents and my biological grandmother treated me like I was a criminal before she knew who I was. And then she died before she could tell me. I never felt like a Herondale because I just didn't feel like I was a part of them."
"I only know you for quite a short time and I can see so much of them in you. But let me tell you something, Jace: it isn't important whose name you carry. It isn't important what blood runs through your veins. You shouldn't feel like you belong nowhere because you do. You belong to those who love you."
At that Clary couldn't help but squeeze his hand softly. All she wanted to tell him in this moment was in just one touch. I love you. I'm here for you. We'll get through everything. Together.
"I think Clary and I have to leave now. Will... will you be here tomorrow?"
Tessa hesitated before saying, "I will leave tomorrow night. After that, I won't come back. I promised myself not to let myself get involved in the world of Shadowhunters again, at least not as much as I used to when I was with Will. There still are some ties to it I can't break. And I wouldn't want to."
"I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe you can tell me the whole story then. If you like."
Tessa just looked at him. She didn't say anything to that, just smiled. "What do you think about ducks Jace?"
Without thinking he said, "I hate them. Cruel little beasts, they are."
Her smile became much brighter at that. "I thought you'd say that."
Clary and Jace turned to leave, but before they were out the door, Clary turned around to face Tessa again.
"And... Tessa?" She looked up at her, questioningly. "Yes Clary?"
"I hope that you'll find the book again. I really do. I... I hope that it will come back."
"Even if it won't come back, my heart has memorized these words a very long time ago."