Pilot rubs his cheek against the hotel comforter and breathes in the smell of old cigarettes and imagined sex from other occupants. The TV is on but not very loud because neither he nor Jack, who's rolling a joint, are really watching it.
"I hate doing E alone. Why won't you take some too? I have enough." Pilot slides off the edge of his bed and goes and sits on the corner of Jack's and watches avidly as he finishes rolling the joint.
"I just want to relax a little, bro. I'm good." Jack grabs the red bic off the bedside table and thumbs it to life. The flame flickers and dances as it catches the rolled paper. Pilot stares transfixed.
"You know 1,056 is a lot but…" Pilot trails off as he stares at the red flowery designed comforter. He starts tracing the little flowers intently with his fingers.
Jack takes a big hit off the joint and waits for Pilot to continue. After a moment he pokes him in the arm. "But what?" He's not sure he even wants to know but Pilot's sudden interest in the comforter annoys him.
Pilot jerks away and stares at him blindly horrified for half a second before refocusing his gaze back onto Jack's features again. His voice is barely above a whisper as he says; "Scawloy, shit.." He leans backwards and loses all balance and goes tumbling off the bed.
Jack laughs until he sees Pilot's frozen expression. "Hey Pi, are you okay?" He nestles the joint safely in the bedside ashtray and slides off the bed. "What the fuck you talking about Scawloy for?" He asks as he kneels down next to his friend.
"I forgot that happened is all." Pilot stares intently at a patch of carpet and keeps blinking his eyes as if he can't believe what he's seeing. After a moment he stands up on unsteady legs, using the corner of the bed for support.
"What happened? What're you talking about bro?" Jack stands up too.
Pilot closes his eyes and sways a bit. "I shouldn'ta taken that E. It's making my head see shit." He walks to the small shared bathroom but can't remember how to get the faucet to turn on.
Jack is right behind him though and reaches over and turns on the hot water. "You're shaking Pilot. What's going on?"
Pilot starts washing his hands but doesn't reply.
Jack splays his palm across Pilot's low back and prompts him again; "Hey. Pilot. What's going on?"
"Scawloy he… I came up short this one time." Pilot's words rush together almost incoherently. "It wasn't justa little bit either. I thought the crazy fucker was gonna kill me. He was so paranoid he broke a bottle and held the glass up to my throat. Cut me just a bit." Pilot shoulders past Jack and walks back into the bedroom where he immediately picks up the joint from the ashtray.
"He cut you?" Jack leans in the doorway of the bathroom watching as Pilot paces between the beds and smokes.
"Yeah, he was all kinds of fucked up. I was scared man. So, he comes up with this idea that I owe him a piece of myself somehow, to make it up to him. That to prove my loyalties he has to make us be one or some shit. Fucking Scawloy man. I go along with it cause shit, what else was I gonna do? He makes me drop some acid with him and then…" Pilot pauses and changes the direction of his pacing suddenly. His next words come out fast and are hard to catch. "So then we're on a bed together and I remember flashes of that bedspread. The red flowers exactly." Pilot finally stands still and stares transfixed at the ugly bedspread. He finishes the joint and drops it back in the ashtray and then says; "I thought I was throwing up bloody flowers he was doing it so hard."
Jack feels a shiver run down his back and the words are out of his mouth before even thinking. "Holy shit man, you let Scawloy-"
"I thought he was gonna kill me!" Pilot cuts him off defensively and he looks like he's either going to cry or punch him. "I don't even really remember it anyhow. It's just in pieces in my head. Whatever. I don't know why I told you that. It was just fucked man." He starts pacing again.
Jack intercepts him mid pace, hands on both of his arms as he holds his gaze in wide open earnestness. "I'm sorry, Pi. Scawloy's a stupid asshole."
"Yeah… I know." Pilot holds the gaze too long and then blushes suddenly and tries to pull away.
Jack clamps down on his arms, easily holding him in place. "I love you man. No matter what."
"I'm just stupid." Pilot mumbles not looking at him.
Jack leans forward and covers his friend's mouth with his own. Pilot's whole body seems to quake in his arms and he pulls back quickly, eyes wide and unsure.
Pilot's eyes are shining but he takes Jack's chin deliberately in his hands and tenderly kisses him back. Jack opens his mouth to him right away.