Hey guys! So I was on my way home, and driving in the car got me thinking…well, being in the passanger seat got me thinking lol. Anyways, this is a bit…different. Not too much, but focuses on Eli's anxiety. Please enjoy "Just A Dream"…
Twitter: TheCliffyG
No Beta Reader, so ignore mistakes if any (:
Rated T: for mild cursing
WARNING: This one-shot might take you back down on a sad part of memory Eclare lane…
Eli-25
Clare-24
Just A Dream
ELI
The streets of Toronto were filled with cars-bumper to bumper traffic-honks and curses filling the air as I walked on the sidewalk with my daughter. Her tiny hand was in my strong grasp, as she bobbed her head while humming a tune she probably heard in the car with her mother.
I smiled down at her, as she spoke innocently, "Daddy, how come you always walk and mommy drives?"
"What? Are you against fresh air?" I teased, as her tongue poked through her tiny lips, "No, I just wanted to know. You love to walk everywhere, and I just wanted to know why."
"Well, for starters, I heard the boogie monsters live in cars nowadays," her eyes widened, the soft, chocolate brown color shaded with fear looking up at me, "Not in mommy's car, right? Right! Cause' I've been in that car daddy!"
"The boogie monster can be anywhere nowadays, he can be in mommy's car…he can be in your ice cream cone that we're going to buy soon…he can be in your peanut butter and jelly sandwich at lunch, oh gosh Bella, he can be anywhere!" I teased convincingly, as my four year old daughter clung to my leg tightly, stopping our walking motions. She glanced up at me, tears in her eyes as she stuttered out, "H-He's going to g-get me d-daddy…or even worse, he's going to get the both of us!"
I gasped loudly, luring my daughter into an imaginary world, "You're right! But see, I know how to outsmart the boogie monster."
"How? How do you do it?" She tugged on my leather jacket eagerly, as I bent down to her eyelevel, "You have to keep smiling, no matter how scared you get. You have to keep that frown upside down, okay kiddo? If you do that, he can't harm us."
Lately, Isabella has been on that sad side of life from being so sick the past two weeks. Having a child with a stomach virus is not fun, and neither is it easy because it breaks your heart. When your kid is ill, it's almost as if you're ill.
"Okay daddy, I'll keep smiling," a smirk was on her lips, as we began to walk in the direction of the ice cream store she always loves to go to. Our feet walked in sync at a steady pace, as we were waiting to cross the street.
The light was green, the traffic beginning to clear as cars began to speed by rapidly. I pushed Bella behind me for a bit for security, her hand in my hand, as she pointed to the left, "Daddy, look at that car! It's so weird!"
When my eyes gazed upon my daughter's findings, my heart stopped, and stomach churned, looking at a hearse. It was the same size as Morty, and my eyes must've been playing tricks on me because I swear I could even see the tiny crack in the rear view mirror on the right hand side.
"Daddy," I felt my daughter tug at my shirt, but my heart stopped beating, fear settling in.
Isabella tugged at my hand once more forcefully, assisting me across the street due to the 'walk' signal. But it was too late, the memories were settling in, and my mind was snapping. Hell, who was I kidding, it was already snapped…but the worst part of this, was my daughter was going to see a side of me I always feared.
My manic side.
My legs gave out on me in the middle of the street, and I heard my daughter gasp in the background. But all I could hear was her voice…
"I know, but I think it's time we let go of that…we're growing apart."
"But that's not what I want anymore! Okay, I hate the hearse, and spring is a time for rebirth…renewal…not us."
"Eli…you love that car."
"We need to break up."
"Did you hear me? WE'RE NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!"
"Eli…Eli…Eli answer me!"
CLARE
"Yeah, yes I'll be home soon…I'm just going to pick myself up an ice cream cone. It was blazing hot at work babe, you wouldn't believe it," I told Drew, as he snorted from probably laughing at something stupid on the television, obviously not paying attention to me, "Well Drew, thank you for listening to me about my day."
"Clare, I swear-," I hung up on him, shoving my phone in my pocket.
I walked into the ice cream store, grabbing the 'usual' from Benny. He smiled at me, calling out loudly since no one else was in the shop, "Clarabelle, you're here again, looking fabulous as always! You left the dit brain at home again? Clara, when will you leave that stupid football player and go back to Eli!"
"He was an old high school flame Benny, and honestly, I don't remember why I told you that," he grinned, and said, "I remember it like it was yesterday! You stumbled into my shop at midnight when I was about to close up, drunk as hell and your hair had gum in it. Best night of my life. I remember you sat down on the floor underneath the choco-."
I cut him off, finishing the story he always retold, "chocolate dispenser while crying. I know Benny, it wasn't one of my best days."
"Well, the least you can do is call the guy up, see how he's doing," he handed me my cone, and I shook my head, "Why? So I can tell him how unsuccessful my life is going and how much I miss him. Yeah, Benny, hate to burst your fantasy bubble but the guy has a kid…and a wife. I can't mess with that. I'm not that kind of person."
"A phone call won't ruin their family, and I'm sure he thinks about you too," he smiled, showing off his fake teeth that he puts in to scare the kids.
"You know, you're a fifty year old goon running an ice cream shop, but I don't know what I'd do without you…or your ice cream," I licked up the side with the most sprinkles on it, and then glanced out the window, "Why is everyone so restless today? All I've heard is constant beeping and honking horns while cursing."
"I'm going to go check it out, I'll see you tomorrow Benny," I slid my money on the counter, knowing he'd give it back to me tomorrow, and headed out the door.
The sight before me caused my ice cream cone to crash onto the cement.
It was him, and he was perched up in the middle of the street, with a little girl crying hysterically beside him while tugging at his collar. My chest tightened nervously, as I headed out into the street without thinking, watching as people were still zooming by us, as if there wasn't a person and a child in the middle of the road.
"Excuse me m-m-iss, can you p-please help my daddy! I think he's hurt," the little girl, I believe her name was Isabella (due to intense Face range stalking) told me, her tiny chin trembling.
I licked my lips, and noticed the blank stare on Eli's face, knowing it all too well. He was gone right now, completely and utterly gone, due to a flashback or remembrance of a bad memory.
"Benny! Benny get over here!" I called out, as people in their cars beeped obnoxiously, cursing at Eli to get out of the road.
"Sweetheart, you're going to go with Benny okay, he'll get you ice cream," I cooed to the frightened, frazzled little girl as Benny scooped her up in his arms, bringing her into the shop.
I glanced at Eli from his backside, knowing he hasn't seen me yet, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't heard me. He didn't even flinch when his daughter was taken away from his sight, which means he's in…too deep.
"Get the fuck out of the road asshole!"
"What are you doing in the middle of the street dickhead?"
"Go play in traffic somewhere else!"
I flinched at the vile words people were screaming, and kneeled in front of Eli, placing my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look into my eyes. I smiled, wishing we would see each other again on a different occasion, but this would have to do.
"Eli, Eli it's me…it's Clare," I spoke softly, trying my best not to alarm him.
His green eyes stared into mine, and he chuckled, his eyes not breaking. His stare was tense, even though he was laughing. Tears streamed down my face, and I sniffled, "Eli it's really me…it's Clare…and I'm here, okay? I need you to do me a favor."
My body started shaking, and I didn't know why, until I looked down to see Eli's shaking hands digging into my thighs. His shaking was so intense, so tremendous, that I could feel it. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and smiled softly, stroking his hair, "Eli please…please, can you hear me?"
He smirked, and chanted in a hushed tone, "You didn't show up…You ripped my heart out…You made a promise remember? That you'd never leave me…Growing apart? Any other melodramatic clichés you want to throw my way! "
Tears streamed down my face as I held back a sob when he whimpered, "Me and you and the hearse Clare…like we wanted all year."
His nails dug into my thighs roughly as he seethed through gritted teeth, "If you hated the hearse so much…I'll get rid of it!"
"I love you…and I know you love me," he whispered frantically, staring directly into my eyes, piercing my soul.
We didn't speak after this, he only clung to me like a new born baby to a mother. He had his arms wrapped around my waist, as cars sped by us. People who crossed the street stared, not bothering to help me stand Eli up.
But strangely, being in the arms of my ex in the middle of the road was comforting. I haven't had any time to cuddle with Drew, he never wanted to cuddle, he told me it made him feel like I was trying to rob him of his manhood. But Eli, he always loved to cuddle, no matter how angry or tattered he was, he'd cuddle with me.
"I'm right here Eli, I'm not going anywhere this time, I promise," I whispered, stroking my fingers through his locks, as he gripped onto my bicep, "I'll probably always love you Clare…always."
I didn't know if he was speaking through a memory, or from himself currently, but just hearing those words warmed my heart. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and continued to comfort him, or at least try my best to.
I gasped, seeing a car speed quickly near Eli's foot, almost being hit. Eli was unfazed by the cars, only staring up at me, as I said, "Eli…I need you to help me do something, okay?"
"Anything…anything for Clare…."
"I need you to stand for me, okay? Can you do that?" I begged, as I snaked my arms in between both his armpits, and lifted his frame as steadily as I could. When his feet planted on the ground, I smiled, "That's it Eli, we're okay…we're okay."
I used all my might to drag him to the sidewalk, and the people who were in the streets driving yelled at me, thanking me for moving Eli out of the street. I squeaked, my butt hitting the floor as Eli followed as well.
We were both just staring up at the sky, as Eli turned to me, and asked, "What'd you wish for?"
I smiled, going along with him, "If I tell you…it might not come true."
Eli touched my hand, and smiled, "Would it be cheesy if I told you…mine already has?"
ELI
Perhaps this was all a dream, that when I fell onto the ground with my daughter I was run over by an anxious driver.
Either way, it brought me to her.
She was sitting beside me, our hands interlocked on the pavement, and our eyes locking in an intense gaze. I smiled at her, "You know...they say life's true pleasures are seen only behind the closed eyes of a dream."
"But we're not dreaming Eli, I'm here...you're here...we're here...together. This is not a dream," her voice felt distant, yet so overwhelmingly close that it was blaring through my ear drums.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, and stared into her ocean blue eyes, which were holding back tears. I parted my lips, trying to force the two little words out that could change everything.
Hell, I've got nothing to lose. The only thing I could lose was the wife I don't want, and the marriage I never asked for. She never appreciated me like Clare did, or loved me for who I am, she just agreed with her parents that she needed a husband who could financially support her forever so she wouldn't have to work.
I've got nothing to lose, absolutely nothing.
The only thing I could thank her for would be giving me Isabella. Ever since the moment I cradled her in my arms, the second her tiny eyes stared into mine, I cried in that hospital room. I cried because I finally had something to live for, and someone to believe in. All my hope wasn't lost, and one human-my child, made that feeling possible.
"Prove it."
"What?" her neck craned, and I turned onto my side, our hands gripped loosely together, as I repeated, "Prove it Clare...prove it, that this isn't a dream."
"Eli, I-," I smirked at her, "Now I know it's not a dream, you're rejecting me."
"Who said I was rejecting you?"
My eyes widened, as she cut off my air supply, locking my head into place so my lips would stay on hers. I grinned into the kiss, finally feeling that spark in the pit of my stomach light, igniting past feelings that were merely just buried for purposes that I don't want to remember. I placed my right hand behind her neck, tilting her head up as my tongue slipped passed her parted lips, taking her all in at once.
I was being selfish, and I knew that, but I wanted her...I needed her.
"Hm," she tried to pull away-I'm guessing for a breath-, but I wouldn't let her, because when and if we pull away, it'll be over. I inhaled through my nose deeply, and Clare took that as a hint to follow as I did. When I listened to her nostrils take in another breath, her hand traveled to the back of my head, twirling with my hair.
My fingers savored the feeling of her skin, mesmerizing the blissful radiation it gave off.
"We can't do this Eli, it's not right," she breathed out, her cheeks flushed with the color red-just the way I loved to see them. I shook my head, licking my lips, "I don't care what's wrong and what's right anymore...because what I know is that right now, this is just perfect."
I pointed between us, and she forced a smile, "I have a boyfriend...a different life...different people around me Eli, I can't just-."
"Clare, I have a kid! Okay? I have a goddamn kid with a mother who couldn't give one shit about her. She never holds her when she cries, she never fed her a bottle at three in the morning, and she didn't even crack a smile when she was born," I laughed, staring into Clare's eyes, tears streaming down my face, "But me? I cried like a baby when she was born. Hell, I was crying louder than Isabella! The love I share with her...and with you...it's so strong that it has the power to make me cry."
I sniffled, wiping away the tears with my jacket sleeve, "I'm done living a life I don't want to live Clare...I want to be with you."
Her mouth opened slightly, and she let out an obnoxiously loud siren.
My eyebrows tightened, "What? What are you saying Clare?"
Her plump lips parted, a siren going off once again. I looked at her in alarm, as she stroked my cheek, and whispered, "...Clear."
"What?"
"CLEAR!"
"Clare!
My eyes shot open, as I gasped for air, my eyes staring up at lines of yellow, the lights blaring into my eyes. My eyelids were heavy, but I managed to see blood gushing out of my leg, and a person tugging at my hand.
"We have a pulse people! We have a pulse!"
I craned my neck to the right, and locked eyes with my teary-eyed daughter, who was being held in the arms of a blue eyed savior...
END OF JUST A DREAM
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Cliffhanger Girl
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