Evan knew he was a disappointment.
He knew he wasn't fit to take over the kingdom, his father had made that abundantly clear. And yet, he was still turning 18 in only about a year's time, and according to tradition, he has to take over the position as king at 18 at the latest.
The people need a strong leader, someone who you can rely on in the darkest of times, and Evan… Evan was anything but that.
He was constantly anxious and had a constant stutter, which he could not get rid of despite the many sessions with many different therapists. Not to mention, as a king, you have to speak in public. Evan couldn't even talk in front of his parents, much less in front of complete strangers. He had to greet very important people very often, even just as a prince. Take yesterday's events.
"So this is the young king-to-be!" The military commander was growing exceedingly happy and loud by the second.
Evan tried not to stutter and wiped his sweaty hands on his jacket, and he could still only muster out,"Quite so s-sir." Why can't you at least try to be confident? Evan stuck out his hand and the commander shook it with such force and grip he was certain it was to fall off, which it thankfully didn't.
"Are you excited to be taking on the throne? It must be quite enthralling!" The commander continued to get closer and closer to Evan, which only increased the amount Evan had to lift his head to see the commander's face. How was he so tall?
"W-well, certainly, um, but the thing is I- its um, a lot of p-pressure on me, having to, having to um, t-take on such a, um responsibility so, so suddenly, and it's, it's just as i-intimidating as exciting." What is wrong with you? He already thinks you're a freak. Just run. And so he did.
"I-I-I h-have to use the r-restroom, i-if you'd excuse m-me." Evan practically fled from the scene.
Yesterday's events were… less than ideal. With a sigh, he got ready for the day.
The maid, Meredith, knocked on his door. "Sir, your father requests you at the breakfast table." This couldn't mean anything good. Father only called him down when something important was happening that day, or when he just wanted to scold him just for the sake of it. "T-tell him I'll um, I'll be right down."
He reluctantly carried himself down the stairs, preparing himself for the worst.
"Good morning Evan." His father didn't even bother looking at him. Evan knew he was worthless to him, so it never bothered him that much.
However, his mother seemed much more happy to see him. "Evan! Good morning! Did you sleep well?" She wrapped Evan into an overwhelming hug. She was always much more supportive of Evan, mainly because she wanted to give him all the attention his father didn't think he deserved. She knew he hated himself deep down, and all she wanted was a normal family, but of course he had to take that from her too.
"Y-yeah I, I slept fine." Evan said, finding his hands fiddling with the collar of his shirt.
"Good!" Heidi finally released Evan from the hug. "Your father has some exciting news for you!"
Oh god. This couldn't mean anything good. Heidi always said something like this whenever someone important was visiting, or when they were going to some sort of charity event, where Evan had to pretend he wasn't a complete mess.
"I have two very important pieces of information, so you better pay attention." His father actually looked at him, but it was only that glare that Evan received whenever something essential was being told to him. It always shook Evan to his core, he felt like his father could see right through him. "Today, we're visiting the Murphy's. They're a very powerful family here. They run one of the single biggest trading companies in this country, so you better be on your best behavior."
Evan could only give a weak nod to acknowledge this.
"Second, I'm officially going to visit our sister city in about two weeks. I will be away for three months, if nothing goes wrong. I expect you to run the kingdom with your mother's aid in this time."
The words pierced Evan's heart like an arrow. Run the kingdom? For three whole months? There's no way Evan could do that! He'd probably kill half the population in his first week because of some slip-up. The people would all unite and invade the palace and stone Evan t-
"Evan," Heidi said suddenly, making Evan jump. "Why don't you go ask Meredith to prepare a carriage for us? "
"Y-yeah." Evan ran to get the family maid, going as fast as he could without showing his ever-growing panic.
Meredith was probably still cleaning up his chambers, seeing as the previous conversation only lasted about 5 minutes. Evan never bothered with breakfast anyway, so he usually walked in on her fluffing his pillow or dusting the bedframe. As he suspected, when he opened the door, Meredith was in the room.
"Thanks Meredith." Evan said. Meredith was always someone was a lot more comfortable talking with. He doesn't know why, but he stuttered a whole lot less around her. "Can you prepare a c-carriage for us?"
Meredith smiled. "Of course." She took off. Evan felt as if Meredith pitied him, I mean, who couldn't pity the child that was supposed to be a prodigy, a person that everyone could trust in and confide in. Evan couldn't even trust himself. Before Evan could possibly become even more of a mess, he shook himself off and got into something somewhat presentable.
Evan tumbled down the stairs, his heart already racing with nervousness, thinking of how everything could go wrong very, very easily. His father couldn't be there, so thankfully Evan can't disappoint him even more. They'd see how much of a coward he was, then he'd probably break whatever trade deal or whatever, and then everyone would see how much of a terrible leader he's gonna be, and then they'd have to elect some elders that would lead until his kid was 18, and that's just a pain in the ass for everyone. Nonetheless, Evan clambered into the carriage, the door closing behind him.
"Are you excited Evan?" His mother always seemed the find the perfect time to distract Evan from whatever pessimistic thoughts were about to flood his mind.
"Sure mom." As Evan watched the rolling hills of the countryside pass by, he found himself more or less at some state of peace. Eventually the gears in his mind began to slow, and they eventually stopped, and Evan found himself falling into a deep slumber.