What Kept Him Going
A Professor Utonium's fan fiction story
Ownership: Craig McCracken
Used characters: Professor Utonium, the Powerpuff Girls, and Dick Hardly
Original characters: Marcello Utonium, Fiorella Utonium, Christina Walter, Glen Ashman, and Zack Lesseter
Summary: After all these year the Professor had no clue why he ever continued study to be a professor. No, that was a lie he did know. It was the person that believed in him most. The one that brought him happiness once they walked into a room. It was her…
Notes: This is my first fan fictional story so if you have suggests feel free to share them. I know there's going to be a lot about grammar. I used staring and smiling way too much in this story.
In my version the Powerpuff Girls are different ages apart because I wanted Blossom to really be the big sister.
Now, if the Professor or Dick seems out of character sometimes I'm sorry. To be honest, I kind of forgot Dick's personality and just based it off the summary of the episode he was in. I think he's really laidback and kind of rude. I tried to make the Professor as cute yet masculine as possible in a geeky kind of way. So this is a fan fiction of an older Utonium probably around 38-39 looking back on his past when he was like 19 in college.
I want to make a shout out to sbj the author of More than Human on. sbj inspired me to write a Powerpuff Girls story because, wow, More than Human was awesome. You should read it. It was like watching a new Powerpuff series by DC comics or something. You can tell sbj inspired me by this heading anyway.
If you don't remember who Dick Hardly is he was the man that took the Chemical X and sold his own the Powerpuff girls in the episode Knock it Off.
Oh, I based Christina's face of off Keira Knightly and her hair when she first met the Professor looks kind of like RijiiRizu from YouTube with blonde hair. I thought it looked cute and her glasses and makeup so I wanted to put that on my Christina character. RijiiRizu can really sing too so you should check her out on YouTube; especially if you're a Disney fan.
What Kept Him Going
It was a sunny Friday afternoon in Townsville. Our beloved Power puff Girls were at school, or make that, the Power puff Teens. It's been years since, the Professor, created his darling little, Charlie's Angels.
The girls went to, Townsville High, now. Blossom, was eighteen and was almost ready to leave for college. Buttercup was seventeen and was just thinking about having fun; the opposite to collage, even if she had been offered a hundred scholarships for: basketball, football, soccer, hockey, and every other tough sport known to man. Bubbles was sixteen now, and like any other teenage girl she liked to go to parties, shop at the mall; and dating guys; but with superpowers.
At the Powerpuff's residence, Professor John Utonium, was cooped up in his laboratory, working on another invention. It was a machine that could withstand Bubbles' sonic screams, Buttercup's punches, and Blossom's ice breath. The girls' powers have developed stronger over the years and that meant a new simulation machine. It seem like just yesterday when his little girls were little girls and Bubbles was scared of the dark, Blossom dressing up like Liberty Belle, and Buttercup needing her soft green blanket.
Just then, as, the Professor, was writing down his progress in his notebook, his invention exploded. Damn, that always happens. It always took at least a billion cups of coffee and seven hard overnight weeks until he got any of this inventions right. Utonium put his notebook down on the now black table and went up stairs and into the bathroom. He walked over to the sink and turned the faucet on.
He really didn't know why he hadn't given up on science and being a professor years ago. Yeah, science and math really did interest him ever since he was a kid coming from a biologist father, Marcello Utonium, and physicist mother, Fiorella Utonium. But a lot of his inventions didn't work and when they did it took such a long time to get them to. That was always his problem and he never did know how to solve it. He did improve dramatically over the years but he wasn't where he actually wanted to be as a scientist. He thought about giving up being a scientist after the three months he entered the university.
The Professor chuckled to himself. The University of Bristol, he thought as he grabbed a towel, wet it, and wiped his face off from the ashes. The University of Bristol was a top school that cost a lot of money getting in. He knew if he backed down the first three months his parents were going to murder him. The Professor got a scholarship to attend the school but he still had to pay for the flight there. Moving to England to go to school was a big decision he made at eighteen. Everyone has to leave the nest sooner or later or at least should, but he left out of the States to get an education.
The Professor did want to move but he didn't really want to move that far away. At least not that soon but the moment he mention going to The University of Bristol he's dad got excited and eighteen year old John didn't want to let his old man down. He knew he would really let his dad down by quitting. Also, there was that threat his father would give him even before he entered Jr. High.
The Professor smiled at the reminder of his father's words. He could still remember the exact words he's father told him on John's first day of third grade:
"Okay, if I ever see anything lower than a B on any of your math and science work or test, you're getting an ass kicking. And if I see one F on your report card, after everything I taught you, on a progress report, you're getting death." That was pretty scary as a kid.
He still had the red bruise mark on his ankle from when he did come home with two D's on his report card. He hide it underneath his bed but, Fiorella, asked him during dinner, if he was suppose to get his report card that day and John said "no." Unfortunately, his dad called the school earlier that day and he knew John was lying. Marcello, practically, took off his belt at the table and started wiping John with it from across the table; knocking over the mash potatoes and broccoli bowl. The little future professor ran out the house to escape but his father ganged after him; despite of his wife's protest, down the street cussing up an earthquake with his mighty belt in his hand.
"Oh, so you're a failure and a liar now, huh?" Marcello yelled waving his belt around trying to hit his son with it down the block.
"You're gonna grow up and be an underachiever and live in a garbage can like that fucking monster on that puppet show you like so much, huh? You wanna be like Oscer, Johnny? Are you just in your own little world now? You're trying to be fucking retarded, Elman. You wanna' be a homeless piece of shit and eat rattan dog food every once a month cause you're not staying in my house getting D's and F's on your report cards." The neighbor stared peeking out their windows to see the show.
"Didn't I tell you to study for your test? Don't I help you with your homework when you ask? Why couldn't you pass Johnny, huh? Why couldn't you gosh, damn, pass? Don't tell me 'it's because I didn't understand' because I come home at seven and you're mother is already at home to help you! You're fucking slaughtering the Utonium name!" Everybody on the block started to come outside and see Marcello chase his son for getting a bad grade. Even John's friends were outside laughing as if it was fun to get chased with a belt by your father down the street. John was embarrassed, sorry for himself, and scared for his life; all at the same time.
"Where are you getting this from? Whose son are you? Are Dan's son or Smith's son? You must be one of those retarded kids because I'm not no damn idiot, Johnny, and there's no way in hell I'm gonna tolerate my son getting a fucking F when his got two fucking scientist in the house with him all day!" Marcello didn't really like his neighbors Dan and Smith.
Marcello didn't beat John as hard as his words did; but he did get some bruises from tripping over a rock, which gave his dad time to drag him home and give John his punishment. That night, Marcello and Fiorella got into an argument about him being too strict. John overheard his dad say that John was a smart kid and had no reason to get a low grade. That made little Johnny feel bad again. But the threats or beatings weren't what truly kept John to pursue his scientist career in collage. By then he didn't fear his dad or mom like he did as a child. No, it wasn't that that kept him going at this science career. It wasn't his pride or determination. It wasn't anything or one… but her.
Her…the Professor thought as he gently turned off the faucet and lend his hands on the sink. It was her. She was the only reason he continued his studies at the university and his career as a scientist. Her name was, Christina Walter Utonium, Professor Utonium's wife. She left him a long time ago.
John sighed and closed his eyes at the memory forming in his mind. He tried to forget about her but couldn't. She was an important person in his life that left him alone.
She had a bright smile that melted his heart when he first met her. It still did by memory.
They met on his second day at the university. On his first day arriving to England at the university, he was stunned. It was a big school. His room was nice and kind of bigger than he thought a dorm room would be. But this was Bristol. He started to examine the room. He started meeting his roommates in about five minutes after. John shared a dorm room with Glen Ashman, Dick Hardly, and Zack Lesseter. Glen was the only Englishman out of the four; which was kind of funny because they were in England. They would make fun of Glen's accent and Dick's name.
Dick Hardly and John Utonium became good friends quick in college so John didn't understand why they were so far apart now. Even their first conversation was friendly when Dick first walked into the door.
"Oh, you're the new roommate." Dick said as he shut the door looking at John suspiciously.
John didn't take note of it."Yeah, John Utonium. This is my first year." John said with a smile as he put his hand out to shake his hand. Dick just stared at it.
"Uhu, yeah." Dick walked pass him and grabbed his car keys off the dresser. "Listen, Freshie, this is my second year here and there are a few rules to this dorm room."
"Umm…Okay." John hesitantly said.
"Rule number uno is 'don't touch any of my stuff.'" Dick said with a gesture of the number one.
"Rule number 2. Is 'if I got a girl in here you're sleeping out in the hallway.' That's just how it is-"
"-But the rulebook states here that 'students are not allowed to invite or obtain genders of the opposite sex in their dorm rooms-'" John interrupted picking up his navy-blue rulebook and flipping to the page about dorm room codes and violations.
"Fuck what the rulebook says. Just listen to what I'm telling you!" Dick yelled as he slapped the rule book out of John's hands. John was silent and listened to his superior roommate.
"Now, rule number C. 'Don't get in my way.'"
"Rule letter 4. 'Don't touch any of my stuff.'"
"And last and final one, step 6. 'Don't ever walk around in this dorm room naked.' I really don't want to see it."
"Umm…okay." John hesitantly said.
"I got a date right now, Freshie, so umm... You just make yourself at home, stay out of my stuff, keep your clothes on, and everything will be cool."
"Okay." John nodded, feeling like he was being treated like a little kid that needed to be told what or what not to do.
"Awesome." Dick replied as he turned to the door with his keys in hand. A thought suddenly appeared in John's mind.
"Hey, Dick?"
"What, man?" Dick stopped at the door.
"What if I wanna bring a girl here? You wouldn't have a problem sleeping in the hallway, right?"
It's only fair, right?
Dick laughed.
"You're alright, kid. You're a real joker!" Dick clapped his hands together. Dick started to talk to himself but it was loud enough for John to hear as he left the room. "You bringing a girl inside here; like hell you could." And with that he shut the door behind him.
John sighed.
"I wasn't joking."
.~.
That was a strange way to meet somebody, Professor Utonium thought, with a little smile on his face as he walked out the bathroom and into his bedroom. He looked over to the closet and the smile fell into a frown again.
He didn't usually do this but he had the feeling of doing it today. He slowly walked over to his closet, pulled the foot stool out and claimed on it and went into the back of the closet. He was looking for something he tried to keep hidden. He didn't show it to anyone. He didn't even show the Girls this. He didn't want to. He didn't want his daughters seeing their father weak and dejected; even if they were super powered heroines.
Under the colorful hat box paper, a elephant with tons of glitter made out of a tennis ball and constructive paper made by Bubbles for his birthday when she was five, and a nice golf ball sighed by Jack Nicklaus he couldn't believe he forgot about, was the yellow round hatbox. The color was too cheerful for what it contained inside. He took it out, claimed off the footstool, and walked over to the bed. He let out a loud sigh and sat down. His hands trembled as he opened the lid; revealing what was inside.
Inside was dozens of pictures of Christina. Why did he take so many? There were some of her putting her hand over her face, and holding a book or purse up to block the camera's view. She was kind of camera shy. He didn't see why though, she was gorgeous!
John picked up another picture. John formed a small smile across his lips at the picture in his was in a red two-piece bathing suit at the beach. She looked like she was about to kill him for taking the picture. John remembered he practically had to drag her out to the beach that day. It's wasn't that she didn't like going out. Heck, she was way more outgoing than he was but not when it came to the beach. She was always self-conscious about her chest size and didn't like being in a swim suit. But so what if Christina wasn't a Kim Kardashian or a Salma Hayek; John thought she was fine just the way she was.
She had a face like, Keria Knightley, and brains like, Albert Instinet. She was very prideful about her intelligent and didn't take crap from anyone. Yet, she was kind and funny and had the most angelic English accent he ever heard. So, in other words, she was the perfect woman.
John remembered the first time he saw her and how much of an idiot he was in the university. He remembered it like it just happened. John overslept that day and missed his first class. He ran out of the dorm room with: his pants coming down, his shoes untied, and his green, collared shirt unbutton. He ran around in circle for about 15 minutes until he realized he didn't know where the heck he was going. Luckily, he had his class schedule in his pants pocket but he still didn't know how to get there. But, John spotted Dick on campus. He was leaning on a statute, flirting with a redheaded girl and a shorthaired burette.
"Dick!" John called out as he approached them.
"Hey, Freshie! Finally, you woke up. Aren't you missing a class right now?" Dick said looking away from the girls.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"It's not my job to wake people up." Dick said. He paused for a second and turned to the girls. "But it is my job to put ladies to sleep if you catch my drift."
The girls snorted and walked away.
"Hey hey, hey! Wait!" Dick cried out but they left without looking back.
"Stay away from us, you, freak!"
He turned to John and narrowed his eyes.
"You're bad luck." John chose not to respond to that.
"Anyway, I need to get to my third class and I need you to take me there." John said pulling out his schedule and pointing to the words spelling 'experimental psychology.'
"Fine! Might as well. It's not like I was gonna get laid or anything!" Dick said annoyed as he snatched the schedule out of John's hands and started walking forward. A few people stared at him as they walked pass.
"Come on, Freshie."
John followed.
They walked around the school making their way to the Faculty of Science section of the university. John still couldn't believe how big this school was and how well designed it was.
Dick started rattling on about something about not ever interrupting him again while he was talking to girls. He said it was rule number two of The Dorm Room Rules and John said it wasn't and they weren't even in the dorm room anymore. Dick told John to shut up.
John spotted something in the corner of his eye; stopping him in his tracks. He took the image in and saw a beautiful light blonde sitting on the water fountain with a few other students. His future wife, Christina. She wore red glasses over her eyes. Her lips were middle size and pink. Her soft, blonde hair was in a short haircut. It was shoulder length when he first met her but over the years she cut it into something kind of like that Pussycat Doll's member, Kimberley Wyatt; Bubbles' favorite group.
"Whoa!" John grinned, gazing at her.
"Freshie?" Dick called as he realized John wasn't following him and turned back around.
"Who's that?" John asked. Dick walked back to him.
"Who?" Dick asked trying to spot what John was staring at.
"Her!" John pointed.
Dick eyes widen; seeing who he was pointing to. "Oh no, John, don't you think about it-"
"She looks kind of nice." John interrupted not taking his eyes off the blonde for a second. He started to walk towards her. "I think I'm gonna sit with her."
Dick got in front of him.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Freshie! That's Christina Walter, a sophomore." Dick said as he pulled John away behind a statue, out of Christina's sight of vision. Christina, huh? That's a pretty name for an angel, John thought.
"She's way out of your league, believe me. I couldn't even get with her our freshmen year."
"Just because you can't doesn't mean I can't." John said trying to look over Dick's shoulder to see Christina again.
"Listen, you don't want to waste your time on her. Go try out someone more desperate and vulnerable; like Helen." Dick suggested but John wasn't changing his mind.
"Hey, I'm Italian." John said as he pated Dick on the back. "I'm so in there. Back in America they called me Senor Babe Imán."
Dick started at him for a second and blinded. "That's Spanish."
John shrugged. "I never said I came up with it."
"Right." Dick said sarcastically putting he's hands on his hips, not believing what John said for a second.
"Well, wish me luck, man." John said as he walked past him.
"You're missing your third class, you know!"
John didn't even pause.
"Freshie!" Dick called out but it was too late John was already at Christina side.
This was one of the most embarrassing moments in John's life but also one of the best.
This was one of those times when John was thankful he came from an Italian back ground. Yeah, he was kind of forced into learning Italian but it came in handy, like right now.
"Ciao." John said in his fluent ethnic language as he walked up to her.
The blonde looked up from her books; showing off her light green eyes and long, thick, dark eyelashes. She gave him a polite smile. "Hello"
She even has a really sweet and classy accent, John thought.
"My name's John. John Gianmarco Utonium." This always worked. Sometimes. In America if he wanted to talk to a girl he would introduce himself in Italian and give them his middle name so they would know he really came from that heritage. Girls like Italians, right? Of course they did. Italy is known as one of the most romantic languages and culture in the world. Yeah, this will defiantly work and she was blonde.
"Gianmarco? Oh, so you're Italian-American?" She asked, sounding interested. Score!
"Yeah. So…what's your name?"
"Christina Walter." She replied.
"That's a pretty name." John said smoothly causing Christina to giggle.
"Aw, pretty laugh too!" John complimented again.
"Well, thank you." Christina said sounding flattered.
What else should I say to her? John thought. He really didn't know how to ask her out. He eyed the math books and papers that were on her lap. He got an idea.
"So what cha…what cha doin'?" John asked still eyeing the textbook.
"Integral calculus homework." Bingo. John was good at calculus. He could work his way around that.
"Oh, must be hard."
Christina stared at him. She looked down, bit her lip, than raised her head back up to him.
"Yeah. No matter what I do I can't, like, understand. It's, like, impossible."
"I could help you with that." John excitedly said as he sat down next to her.
Girls liked a man with a head on his shoulders. Hell, he is at The University of Bristol after all. He was never a popular jock in high school, but he did know he's way around numbers and cheerleaders always needed help studying for that test. Yeah, they probably was just using him for his brain and not wanting an actually date but John would take what he could get.
He looked over at her work and started explaining the rules. He explained this to her slow and step by step so she would understand. In 15 minutes they done with all twenty of her math questions that he practically didfor her.
"Oh wow," Christina gasped staring at him in amazed, "You are, like, so smart!"
"Wellll…I study." John said kind of too cockily.
He looked at her again. She was so pretty. He should complement her on that.
"I'm kind of surprise to see someone like you here."
"Someone… like me?" Christina questioned letting the words out in a slow pace.
"I mean, look at you; you look like someone off a magazine. You shouldn't be here with all these boring math and science stuff you should be a super model instead."
"A model? So you think I'm pretty enough to just throw away all my books and become a model?" Christina asked throwing her hands up when she said 'throw.'
"Yeah, of course you are." John said smoothly taking in her green eyes. He scooted over a bit closer to her.
"You have cute, pixie hair. Nice lips. You have really pretty green eyes. I tuoi occhi brillare più luminosa del sole. Tu sei più bella di un angelo."
Christina bit her lip then gave him a brighter smile and then she said something unexpected.
"Sei cosi dolce."
"You speak Italian?" John asked surprised
She smiled, crossed her legs and shrugged. "A little."
"Cool, what else can you say?' John said excitedly.
"Posso dire…" Christina pushed her hair out of her face thinking about what to say to him, "Posso dire… prendi l'inferno lontano da me prima che io ti ferire."
John started at her.
"Prendi l'inferno lontano da me prima che io cazzo di farti del male" she just said to get the hell away from her before she fucking hurt him.
"Oh...," John blinded realizing he was in trouble, "you're very... fluent."
"Go!" Christina roared angrily in English.
That wasn't good.
" Wait, did I offended you? I...I'm sorry if I... offended you in any way but I didn't mean to-"
"Please, stop talking you're just annoying me more." Christina snorted.
" You know what? Don't let this blond hair misled you buddy, okay." Christina pointed to her hair, " I know that you're an American and you're use to slutty, bimbo blonde girls, but let me tell you something, I'm not one of them! My father is a lawyer and my mother's is a surgeon. I enrolled to this college to become a surgeon not a nurse! I belong here not on some sleazy so called woman's magazine but actually male's magazine. I'm brilliant. I've lived in a house with four brothers my whole life. I know what you after but you're not getting it from me! Got it?"
"Got it." John nodded quickly and scarily.
"Good."
He got up and started to walk away.
"Oh and by the way!" Christina called out stooping him in his fast pace. He turned around nervously.
"Yeah?"
"I already know I look good so I don't need anyone to tell me that in another language."
.~.
"She cursed you out, huh?" Dick asked amusely as the too walked on campus.
John had just told him what happen with Christina the other day as they were making their way to the cafeteria. He wished he hadn't.
"I should have stayed around and watched you guys." Dick paused, "Wait, were people staring? Did they laugh and point as you experienced outer FUBAR?"
"Shut it, Dick!" John grunted. He didn't feel like hearing another one of Dick's insults. Dick was the worst not best friend ever.
"She does that to every guy that tries to go out with her." Dick pointed out. John remained quiet and continued walking, shuffling his feet on the payment. Dick smirked at his silenced.
"You have to be careful about what you say to that one and you can't say anything that makes her seem dumb. She's kind of sensitive about being a blonde at Bristol."
"Thanks for the heads up. And what do you mean, kind of?" John snorted. "She was about to rip my balls off if I didn't get out of there in time."
"Well, I told you to stay away from her, Freshie. Like I was saying earlier, Christina's a tough girl to get. She's been asked out dozens of times before and she turned almost every last one of them down"
"How many did she accept?"
"Out of a thousand? Like four and they all didn't last long, except for the third guy Allen Murphy, the lucky bastard. They dated for almost a whole year." Dick said putting his hands in his pocket.
"You know why they called it quits?" John asked curiously as they made a turn at a building.
Dick shrugged. "Something about her dad not liking him and wanting her to force more on her school work. She's not only hard to get but she's daddy's little princess. She always listens to him. He did pay for to get into here; but I wouldn't glorify the old man so much, he's loaded! He could pay for everyone in this school to go here and give us a ride in a freaking spaceship!" Dick sighed. "So in other words, you're never gonna get that. Even if you do somehow get past Christina's massive ego you're not going to overcome her protective father-"
"You again?" a voice gasped.
Christina was right in front of them with her cell phone in her hands. She must have just ended a call. She was giving John the coldest glare any woman has ever given him before. John hadn't noticed they were approaching her. This would be a better time than any to apologize for his misled intentions on talking to her.
"Oh, look, John, it's the girl you verbally molested." Dick was such a dick some times. "Hey, unexpected victim! How's it going?" He waved. John should have kick his ass but instead he just didn't pay him any attention.
"Christina I sorry about what happen-"
"We have nothing more to say to one another," the blonde shrieked. "You took one look at me and though I was some dumb blonde. End of story. Now stop stalking me!" Christina said as she turned away. John couldn't let her go thinking he thought she was stupid and didn't have any respect for her. Well, maybe he did misjudge her a bit; but that wasn't the point.
"You got it all wrong!" John cried as he rushed to her taking to keep up with her quick pace. "When I first saw you I didn't think you were stupid, I just thought you were easy-"
Wait, that didn't sound right.
Christina stopped with her mouth hanged opened and turned to face him. John gulped.
"Oh ho, Johnny, this is worst than being FUBAR. Theirs is no word or phrase in the whole world for it. You're just plain screwier than screwed." Dick amusedly commented in the background. He was really enjoying the show. Christina and John both chose to ignore him.
She quickly turned around and faced him. Her green eyes were now fiery red.
"Woah! No, no. I didn't mean it like that-" John stuttered out waving his hands. Her eyes narrowed more.
She put her hand on her hip and pocked John in his chest. "You. Stay. Away. From. Me." And with that she was gone.
Dick put a hand on John's shoulder. "Yeah, you seem more like Senor Duchbago than Senor Babe Imán."
"Fuck off, Shitdick." John said shoving him off.
"Why you keep calling me that?" Dick cried.
.~.
"I need to make it up to her. I need to really apologize to her but she won't even let me get near her." John said pacing in their dorm room.
"Don't you have a test you should be studying for?" Glenn asked looking up from his textbook.
"No."
"Well I do so be quiet!" Glenn yelled as he threw a pencil at John and it hit him right in the middle of his forehead.
"Ow! What was that for?" John cried.
"For being a whinny little bitch." Glen replied looking back at his textbook.
John signed and sat down on the couch. "I gotta make it up to her," he repeated.
"No. Body. Cares." Glenn said with his head lead back and hand over his eyes. He was very annoyed. John been complaining ever since this whole Christina situation started; and Glenn could hardly get any work done with John's pacing and whining ever five seconds.
Zack claimed over the back of the couch with a beer bottle in his left hand and sat down next to John. Zack was a junior, the oldest out of all of them. He had long blonde hair and looked like he belonged in a rock band thanBristol; but Dick didn't look or act the type to be here either, but he was a sophomore already.
"Okay, man, when you go talk to her I got some chick-vice for ya-"
"Really? Cool, okay what is it?" John asked hopeful tone.
"Whatever you do… don't do what you did last time." Zack simply said with a trophy grin on his face.
John stared at him. "And? That's it? I'm in a real crisis here and that's all the crappy advice you have for me?
Zack took another long drink out of his beer bottle than said, "You know you BNS a lot more than a faggot should. Hmm, that's really interesting"
Dick and Glenn and let out a short laugh. John had it. He forcefully stood up off the couch and faced his roommates.
"Serious guys, you're not gonna help me out?"
"Just take Dick advice and stay away from her." Zack said.
"But I don't want to stay away from her." John whined. "And I don't want her believing that I'm some perverted jerk either." Then a thought came in mind.
"Dick!" John called quickly turned to him sitting on his beanbag chair.
"What?" Dick asked wearily.
"You're a sophomore now." John pointed out.
"I think I remember what grade I'm in." Dick nodded as he cocked an eyebrow.
"You've known Christina a lot longer than I have."
"Yeah, we are sophomore and you are just a freshman so I have known her a bit longer than you." Dick said sarcastically.
"You know her pretty well, right?"
"Really pissing me off with all these dumb questions that a retarded two year old would know the answers to." Dick said losing his patients.
"Can't you put a good word in for me? You know, to cool her off so I can get a chance to talk to her." John asked.
"I could." Dick said in a bore tone still not looking up from his homework.
"Come on, Shitdick, I need your help."
Dick looked up from his homework and gave John a hard look. "No."
John looked at Dick. He bended down, looking right in his face, giving him the cutest puppy dog's eyes he could. He pouted his bottom lip. His blue eyes sparked looking into Dick's.
Dick edged his face away giving John a disguised look. "What the hell?"
"OW!" Dick slapped him hard across his face. John fell onto the floor holding is jaw in pain.
"DONT you, EVER, look at another man like, ever, again! What the fucking hell is wrong with you? Damn, you're weird!"
.~.
Professor Utonium really didn't mean to insult Christina when they first met and really wanted to apologize. Dick could be a real dick sometimes but at others he could really come through to help a pal out. John still, today, couldn't believe what Dick had done for him twenty years ago. Dick Harley will always be John's best friend.
I can't believe I'm doing this, Dick thought as he made his way into the diner Christina and her friends always goes to. When he entered the diner he soon spotted Christina with her friends: Claire, Helen, and Nicole at a booth, laughing and talking among another. He approached them.
"Hello, ladies. I didn't think I would find you all here." Dick said cheerful as he sat down in the only empty sit at their table.
"Dick Hardly, what are you doing here?" Christina asked very rudely, crossing her arms.
"I can't talk with my dear classmates?" Dick asked innocently.
"Of course you can just not these dear class mates." Christina
"He's stalking us again, Chrissie." Claire whispered to in Christina's ear but it was load enough for him to hear.
"Are you still on that?" He whined. "Listen, I wasn't stalking you. I was just walking behind you that one time… all week."
"Right." Nicole said sarcastically.
"Besides I wouldn't be stalking all of you, I would get caught faster, and defiantly not Helen." Dick pointed out giving, Helen, a brief look out the corner of his eyes.
Helen gave out a huff and narrowed her hazy eyes.
"Hey, I was following close behind you Nicole. You know how I feel about you." He placed his hands on top of Nicole's on the table and looked into her brown eyes as he did. She quickly moved her hands out from under his. "And maybe everyone else besides Helen."
"What do you want?" Helen barked.
"Okay, I just need to talk to your cousin, Christina, for a little bit." Dick said getting to the point.
Christina stared at him.
"Just one minute of your time, is all I ask, please." She wasn't having it. "It's important." He added.
Christina quietly stood up and walked away from her group of friends.
Dick followed behind her. When they finally came to a corner of the diner she crossed her arms and waited for Dick to speak. He didn't really have a plan on how to get her to talk to John. He didn't even know how to carefully bring John up.
"I…I saw you reading a book the other day." Dick finally said.
Christina raised an eyebrow at him.
"You know….ur… John, John Utonium the freshman whose major is science, likes reading…stuff… too."
He really didn't know much about John then or if they had anything in common.
"Oh my gosh! This is what's really important?" Christina asked disgusted swinging her arms.
"He likes reading stuff…like…books about…scienceie…stuff."
Damn it was hard selling your not best friend to a hot man-eater chick.
"Are you sure you're in the right college?" Christina asked. She really had to know if this guy actually thought he was Bristol material.
"I think so. John thinks so too, you know he-" Dick said trying to bring John up again.
"-I really don't want to talk about, John, right now." Christina said as she started to make her way back to the table booth.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Dick said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her back gently. "To be honest, I came here to tell you something really important. You see, Freshie, he really likes you-"
"-Oh I know he likes me. He'd like to get in my pants-"
Dick waved his hands. "-No, he's not like that, really. It was just a bad choice of words. The truth is…the truth is he's just a scrawny, dorky, little kid with no lady experience once so ever."
She gives him a funny look.
"Yeah, he thinks just because he's Italian that gives him babe catching points but it really doesn't make up for how square he is."
"He told you to tell me that?" Christina asked now placing her hands on her hips.
"No, he doesn't have to." Dick quickly replied. "Just look at him; he's weak! He probably always got pushed into his locker and his head flushed into the toilets."
"Is this supposed to impress me?"
Dick relaxed his shoulders, put his hands in his pockets, and sighed. "Nope."
He started to circle around her, who had her eyes following his every move.
"There's nothing impressive about him, I'm afraid. He's just a geek. But, you know, the loser geeks we pick on in high school always end up being the ones that become billionaire and that we end up working for; overtime."
Christina stared at him and sighed.
"You and John are really good friends, aren't you?" Christiana finally said softly.
"I'm just trying to help the kid have an okay first year of college. You know, to shut him up. If you don't go on one date with him he's just gonna keep whinny and being more annoying. And I'm the one that's gonna suffer the most out of all of this. I live in the same dorm room with him. I won't get an inch of sleep. See. My eyes are already red." Dick said widening his eyes so she could see.
Christina laughs. "Alright, alright. I'll give your loser friend a chance."
"Really?" Dick asked happily.
She smiled and nodded. "But tell him just one date."
"Just one," Dick repeated as he started to run out the diner, "and he's not my friend, he's my roommate."
He then stopped.
"Oh, and if things don't work out, you know you got a shoulder to cry on."
Christina shakes her head. "Good bye, Dick." She waved.
"Pleasure doing business with you Ms. Walter." Dick said with a smile than left the diner
.~.
Dick entered the dark dorm room and shut the door rather loudly. Everyone was asleep now. He walked over to John who was snoring on the couch with a ton of slob. This dude was one nasty sleeper. Dick slapped his on the top of his head.
"Ow! What the hell!" John cried opening his sluggish eyes. John was such a woos. Dick really didn't think if John could get more than one pity date out of Christina. This would probably be the first date he ever been on in his sorry life.
"Freshie, wake up!"
"What?"
"You got a date with Christina." Dick said.
John was wide awake now. He sat up on the couch.
"W-what? When? H-how?" John stuttered in disbelief. He was such a dork, Dick thought.
"I talked to her for you earlier today. I would have told you sooner but I went to a bar and got drunk after." Dick said lending over on the back of the couch.
"Thanks, man, I owe you one!" John said with the widest grin on his face.
"I know." Dick replied. Damn straight he owed him. John owned him about five months of well typed essay papers, completed math homework, and thesis statements from Dick's science and math classes.
"So, what place?" John asked; beaming too bright for just one date.
"I don't know." Dick shrugged. He knew he forgot something but didn't feel like thinking about it.
"Okay… so, what day?" John asked still with a smile on his face.
"I don't know."
"What time?"
"I don't know."
John rubbed his temples and groaned in annoyance. "Do you at least have her phone number for me?"
"Oh, I always had it. Never been for you, though." Dick said as he reached into his pocket, pulled his wallet out, and scanned in it until he pulled out a tiny sheet of paper.
"Here."
John blinked.
"You just carry her phone number around in your wallet with you?"
"Dude, I carry every female's number that goes to this school around in my wallet." Dick proudly said. He then looked at John's face.
"You jealous already? You're gonna need to catch up, Freshie." Dick said, knowing it was getting on John's nerves.
"Fuck off." John simply said.
"Wait, should I call her? I mean I don't want to seem obsess or anything."
"A little too late for that." Dick said with an amused grin.
"Whatever." John said as he snatched the piece of paper from Dick's hand. He used the dorm room phone to call her. No one answered.
"She didn't answer."
"Its 11:32 AM, she's probably asleep." Dick pointed out as he walked over to his bed and flopped down on it. "You might as well just go back to sleep, man."
"I can't go back to sleep. I-" John paused than stuffed the number in his pock, put his shoes on, and started heading towards the door.
'Where are you going?" Dick called out with his arm over his face. John stopped.
"I'm going to her dorm room."
"Really?" Dick asked surprised, then he grinned, and said in a high pitch mimicking voice, "But the rulebook states that, students are not allowed -"
John slipped through the door and slapped it shut waking up his other two roommates.
"What the hell was that!" Zack shouted. Dick shrugged.
"You don't know which one it is!" Dick called out. Dick heard John stopped in the hallway and rushed back into the room.
John looked at him.
Dick sighed. "Room 246."
"Thanks. So owe you!" John cheerfully said as he ran back out the door again.
Dick sighed again and fell asleep.
.~.