Disclaimer: I Own Nothing. J.K. Rowling Owns Everything.

Author's Note: Hello! This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me. Written for fun, and is based on what my family and I have said through the years on our family trips to Disneyland. See if you can guess the rides. R&R, Please!

Happiest Place on Earth…or most irritating

Fantasyland

"Explain to me again how the bloody hell that is enjoyable? What fucked up muggle thought that having a white haired beast jumping out at you while at high speeds, was going to be enjoyable for children. And that damn yodeling, for Merlin's sake would they shut that off!"

"Seriously, we're riding through hell?"

"I told you to stop spinning that damn cup Scorpius, look Arista's now ill!"

"I'm not riding in that god damn caterpillar."

"Storybook boats…long ass ride…"

"Bloody Hell… I thought that ride would never end. That song is going to haunt me in my dreams. How the fuck can you think it's cute! A person can go insane having to hear that!"

"What could be more fun, than sitting in a bloody flying elephant."

"Carousels, the perfect napping ride."

Tomorrowland

"Arista, will you please stop playing with the joystick. Your giving daddy whiplash. Focus on your shooting! Focus on your shooting!"

"No, were not getting on for a third time, I don't care if you think We'll end up pod racing. The answer is no."

"God you drive like your mother. Thank heaven were on a track…"

"Space Mountain. A rollercoaster in the dark…Genius….Yes it's wonderful we can buy that picture, but were not… What! Don't give me that look. She cried through the whole ride, why I would buy a picture of that."

"I bought you a pretzel to eat, not throw at each other!"

Main Street

"Scorpius sit still and eat!"

"Four Dollars for a fucking chocolate covered strawberry? You have got to be kidding me! I don't care if we get more for our galleons here, four dollars is ridiculous, Damn it!"

"I refuse to wear those ears."

"Put that magic set back Scorpius. We can buy a better one at Uncle George's shop."

Adventureland

"I'm not going up that tree…Fine, Woman!... Your mother is a nag."

"The boulder was not going to roll over us, sweetheart. Please stop crying."

"Scorpius get your hand out of the water, Damn it… can these jokes get any cornier?... I guess so."

"You could have warned me that those damn tiki heads sang during the show. I was blissfully asleep until they started singing in my ear!"

New Orleans Square

"They're fake ghosts Arista! Fuck, how is she going to handle Hogwarts? Honestly!?"

"You know, I could be a fantastic pirate. A damn sexy one, too."

"You were right, love. This riverboat ride is relax- SCORPIUS DO"T LEAN OVER THE EDGE!"

Frontierland

"Barbeque…tastes great!... Shit, Scorpius will you stop making a mess…(sigh)… Arista needs a new shirt, Mya."

Critter Country

"Yes, because I enjoy being soaked. You know, you look like a drowned cat…Ow!"

"Sitting in a beehive, that's…different."

"Admit it Mya, this vacation was a great idea." Draco whispered with a smirk, while looking across the room at his son and daughter snuggled together in bed.

"Oh yes, because I so enjoy hearing you whine" Hermione answered sarcastically from beside him. Draco shot her a glare, and then returned his gaze to his children. "But those two seemed to enjoy themselves, so I would agree. A wonderful idea."

Draco wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed the top of her head. Sure he wasn't quite a fan of muggle vacations, but, hell he'd do anything to see his family smile.

However, that didn't mean he wouldn't be difficult about it.