Alice's POV

I stared through the window at the bleak landscape, acutely aware that things were not right in the Cullen family, family being the operative word, all things considered. The first flurries of the impending snowstorm floated past the window. I sighed. Snow in a small town a few hours north of Toronto wasn't the same as snow in Forks. It did nothing to lift my spirits.

I chanced a glance around the spacious living room. Carlisle and Esme were reading, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Rosalie sat in a nearby armchair, her legs casually tucked under her as she read the latest issue of Cosmo, all the while running her fingers through her thick blonde hair. Emmet sat in the chair across the room from her, focused intently on whatever handheld game held his fancy this week.

My eyes fell on Jasper. He was sitting at a small table in the corner of the room, carefully piecing together a model aircraft, circa World War II. My heart broke for him all over again. He had been detached, his thoughts turned inward. He was starting to run out of room for all the model airplanes and battleships he had pieced together over the last six months. If I was truthful with myself, I was running out of patience with having them as décor.

I turned my attention back to the sketch I was working on, chewing on my lip in frustration. Like many of those before it, it had shifted from an outfit meant for a Rosalie to something that was more suited for a Bella.

Like every time I thought of Bella, my mind was instantly drawn to her. I had, of course, been told not to watch her, not to check up on her. But if he wasn't here to read my mind, then what would it hurt? That was the justification I gave myself anyhow.

She was washing dishes. It was such a mundane task, so ordinary. I knew Bella well and knew she treasured the simplicity of going through the motions of her evening routine. It gave her a chance to focus on something aside from heartbreak and whatever it was about Jacob Black that bothered her so.

I did a quick inventory. No broken bones, no new cuts or bruises. Bella had been miraculously accident proof since I'd last checked on her two days ago. If she were still in my life, I would have rewarded her somehow, quite possibly with the outfit I was drawing now.

As they always did when I looked in on Bella, my thoughts shifted to Edward. It took a moment for me to get a firm grasp on him, something I had grown accustom to. He was indecisive these days. The instant I located him, my frown deepened. He was still curled up in a ball in an attic in Brazil, same as yesterday, still not thinking much, still trying desperately not to feel.

"Damn," Jasper muttered, the sound of a part of his model falling apart echoing throughout the too quiet room. No one paid him any mind.

It was then that the rage, the blame flew into me. It happened at random and I always felt terrible about it later. Edward had enough on him without me blaming him too.

It was his fault though. He was the one who had dissolved the special bond our family had shared and honestly, the one who had taken Bella from us. I didn't need my mind's ability to see the hurt his absence left us to feel.

Rosalie was probably the least affected by Edward's departure. She was the least attached to Bella and still held a sore spot towards Edward for rejecting her after her creation, even though she was blissfully happy with Emmett. She fed off the others though and their downcast mood affected her.

Emmett missed Edward's companionship. Yes, he still had Jasper but Jasper just wasn't Edward. Edward had been Emmett's buddy. His pal. His comrade. His partner in crime. Emmett and Edward liked to roughhouse, something Jasper didn't like as it reminded him of, well, things he'd prefer not to be reminded of. Edward's departure had left Emmett with a sense of loneliness that none of us, not even Rosalie could quite fill. He also missed the unique, big brother relationship he had struck up with Bella. I had caught him trying to be more of a 'big brother' to me as of late and frankly, found it annoying.

It was the other three that I worried about the most. Carlisle loved all of us of course but none of us could deny that he and Edward shared a special bond. He valued Edward's opinions on matters, trusted him with his deepest thoughts. He and Edward had been together the longest, were father and son in every way that mattered. Carlisle held a soft spot for Bella too, not in the least because of how happy she had made Edward.

Esme worried. She may not have given birth to us but she was our mother and mothers worried. She had been so relieved after Edward had found Bella. It had warmed her in a sense to know that Edward had Bella and she had fallen in love with Bella herself. I knew she harbored a hope that Bella would one day be one of us, both as Edward's wife and a fellow vampire. She, at least, had not minded my visions of Bella as a fellow unbreakable.

The worst though was Jasper. He blamed himself wholly and thoroughly. He had wanted to kill Bella on her birthday, a thought he couldn't live with. He held himself responsible for Edward's decision that Bella was better off without him and consequently blamed himself for the shambles in which our family resided. He knew too that Bella was hurting though I made every effort to conceal from him just how much.

I perked up as a vision of Edward moving popped into my head. He was reaching for his cell phone. I grabbed mine and rushed out of the room. He didn't want the others to know he had called. Not this time.

"Edward?" I asked before the phone had even rang.

"You saw me calling I suppose," came Edward's voice. My heart twisted, my earlier blame and anger towards him erased from my mind. Pain resonated through every syllable he spoke, the reason I knew he didn't want anyone to know he'd called. Today was a particularly bad day for him.

"I saw you moving first," I replied, letting him know I was aware of his latest breakdown. Silence met my ears. I didn't break it. I could see that he was trying to decide what to say next. I recited Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" while I waited, not wanting to risk him reading my thoughts and knowing that mere minutes before I had blamed him for what had become of our family. He didn't need that right now.

"It's a bad day," he finally spoke.

"You could come home," I suggested, knowing he wouldn't. I would see when - if - he decided to return to us.

"Alice," he sighed. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I hate seeing you like this," I confessed.

"I know. And you're right. I am to blame - for everything." I winced. Apparently I wasn't focused on "The Raven" strong enough to keep him from my earlier thoughts.

"Edward, don't be so hard on yourself," I tried to comfort him. It was no use, both of us knew.

"Alice…" I sighed. He was determined to punish himself. It wasn't something he was likely to change his mind on soon though I knew his resolve was starting to fade. I made a split second decision and thought back to my most recent vision of Bella. I heard Edward's breath catch on the other end of the phone.

"Stop it," he nearly pleaded. "I told you Alice, no watching her. It's the least we can do."

"She's Bella Edward. She needs watching. Someone has to watch out for her." I knew my words had stung. I had meant for them to.

"How is everyone?" Edward asked, changing the conversation.

Rosalie has a new set of magazines to lose herself in, Emmett has taken to battling animated warriors, Carlisle and Esme - well, they feel like any parent who has, all but physically, lost a child, and Jasper, he's building another model, I thought.

"You can tell them I called," Edward answered my thoughts. "Tell them I'm - in Australia, trekking through the Outback."

I couldn't help but snort. The Outback? Like he wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb there. I would have to tell everyone he was hiding out during the day when they pondered his choice of hunting grounds.

"I know it's ridiculous," he said, again answering my unspoken thoughts. "But the less they know, the better."

"We miss you," I said, my voice low.

"I know."

Without searching it out, another image of Bella popped into my mind. This time, she was sitting on the side of her bed, her arms wrapped around herself as if she were holding herself together.

"I have to go," Edward said bitterly, hanging up before I had a chance to speak.

I sighed heavily as I closed my phone. This was utterly ridiculous - lying to our family about where he was, tormenting himself this way, leaving Bella with an open and still bleeding wound. I was convinced more than ever that my brother was a complete fool. I heard Esme in the kitchen, no doubt trying to busy herself with one mundane, human-like task or another. I glided through the door and sure enough, she was washing the pots and pans - pots and pans that had never cooked a single meal.

"Edward just called me," I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could. Esme quickly spun to face me.

"Did he?" she asked. "Where is he? How is he? Why didn't he speak with any of the rest of us?"

"He's in Australia," I answered smoothly, an old pro at lying by now. "He's trekking through the Outback. He says the hunting is good there. He was in a hurry - the cell phone reception wasn't the best - but he said he would try and call again soon."

Esme pierced me with knowing eyes. I wondered which part she considered the lie - or if she picked up that all of it was. My guess was the latter. Mother's instinct or whatever.

"But how is he?" she asked instead, pointing out that I hadn't answered one of her questions. There had been a reason for that.

"He's - fine." The lie was not convincing in the least. Esme narrowed her eyes.

"Alice…"

I sighed.

"It's - a bad day," I explained. I watched Esme's worried face fall even more.

"Did you ask him to come home?" she pressed. "He shouldn't be alone. Not in his - state."

"Of course I did," I answered. "But I already knew he wouldn't. He's determined Esme. His resolve is wavering ever so slightly but still, he's convinced this is what's best. Never mind that it's killing him. Never mind that it's killing Bella. He's still convinced she's going to get over him and move on."

Esme shook her head.

"This is wrong," she said softly.

"There's no changing his mind," I answered.

Esme only sighed and went back to the sink full of water. I didn't bother pointing out that the task, as unnecessary as it was, would take much less time if she used the dishwasher. Instead, I turned back to the living room to deliver the news of Edward's call and repeat the conversation I'd just had with Esme four more times.