Most of these chapters were written for "And you decided whether you saw beauty or destruction", though I edited them a bit to fit with the storyline, so I do recommend you re-read them.

Chapter 1: Looking through a fogged up glass

Evan had always been aware of Zoe Murphy; she was nicer than anyone Evan knew, and good with music, and so many things. It didn't surprise Evan when he started popping hearts every time he saw her.

The hearts appeared at random, and were hard to hide, not that anyone was watching Evan, he was practically invisible, but still. They were bright orange, which was intriguing, because Zoe didn't seem like she'd fit the color, but then again Evan didn't know her.

Orange hearts were resourceful, quick to thought, but just as quick to judgement, often referred as bittersweet, they're brash and spontaneous, but caring and protective. The perfect match for an orange is a blue heart, but they can also be a good match for a violet or green one.

Evan knows all of this, has it all but memorized in his head, and clings onto it because it's the closest he'll get to knowing her.

He's been thinking about this all summer, last year he barely managed to hide the hearts from Jared and Alana, the only two people who knew of his existence, Alana was easier, since she was always so busy, Jared not so much. For all Jared claimed to have other friends, he sure seemed to spend a lot of time with Evan; still, Evan managed to keep his hearts a secret.

The first day of school was always hard, first day of senior year with one less limb was going to be hell, Evan could feel it in his unbroken bones. Jared approaches him with that shit eating grin he always seems to wear.

"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider it an honor?"

Evan thinks for a moment that there's probably someone who did that already, he doesn't say this though, because that'd be implying that he did that, which, he didn't.

"W-what? I wasn't."

"Paint me the picture: you're in your bedroom, you've got Zoe Murphy's Instagram open on your weird, off-brand phone."

Evan feels himself blushing, and fears that he'll pop a few hearts, here, in front of Jared, when he had successfully hid them from him for half a year.

"T-that's not what happened! Obviously. I was just‑ well, I was climbing a tree and I fell"

"You fell? Out of a tree? What are you, like, an acorn?"

At least Jared being his usual self gave him the perfect distraction, saving him from the embarrassment for another few hours.

"Well I was- I don't know if you know this, but I worked this summer as an Apprentice Park Ranger, um, at Ellison State Park? I'm sort of a tree expert now, I mean, not to brag...anyway, I tried to climb this forty foot tall oak tree…"

"And you fell?"

"Well, it's actually a funny story, though, because there was a solid ten minutes after I fell where I just laid there on the ground waiting for someone to come get me. I was just saying to myself uh, any second now, they're going to come."

"Did they?"

"No, nobody came. That's what's funny"

Jared just gave him a look, then his attention was caught by someone else.

"Hey Connor! Loving the new hair length! Very school shooter chic"

Evan knows Connor, has seen him walk the halls behind Zoe like a shadow, eyes fixed to the floor, back hunched, hands on his pockets, or gripping at the strap of his bag, looking like he wants to blink out of existence, and that's very relatable.

Connor being relatable brings a sort of weird amusement to Evan, it's not really funny, but it makes him chuckle. That, brings attention to him, and there's Connor looking at him with ire lit eyes.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"

Evan scrambles to fix it and fails spectacularly because then he's on the ground.