Yo, Hetalia fans~
So, yeah. I had a free sunday, I was hyper, and I was avoiding an essay - this just so happened to be the product of that. Enjoy the random drabble.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything -refrains from making a 'yo momma' joke 'cause she's obviously more mature than that-
Anyway, there you go. STFU and GTFO is Lovino (as if you didn't know) and TomatoTamer is Antonio (seeing as word's a bitch and wouldn't let me have 'iTomato' without correcting it.
STFU and GTFO posted:
Right, this isn't an online diary so I'm not going to bother with all that.
Y'hear me? Diaries are for girls. This is my ANGER BLOG.
GOT THAT? Good. Then, let's proceed.
Okay, so, let's get some things straight here, shall we? Firstly, I was not – do you hear me you rabid crazed fans NOT? - blushing. Like, at all. Secondly, I was NOT fidgeting. Definitely not, that is so not my style. And lastly, I was NOT speaking Spanish. I know you thought it sounded like it but that's because you're obviously too STUPID to know the difference between Spanish and Italian.
So, there. Stop bugging me already. It wasn't like he had sat me on his lap and touched my curl when I had ignored him in favour of a beautiful tomato, was it? Definitely not. Oh, just shut up already. You want me to tell you what happened? I'll freaking tell you – but only because you're asking. 'Cause it's not like I'd want to retell the experience, AT ALL is it? Not that there was an experience...oh, just shut up. I hear you squealing. Idiots.
So, yeah. That idiot came to the meeting with me today. Stupid meeting. It's not like anything important is ever said, it's usually just that Insane English FREAK chatting about how much Glasses Dude screwed up the worlds economy again, or some shit. It's not like I listen – or care. But, today it was that stupid Potato bastard speaking, I don't know which of them is worse. Either way, the meetings are stupid and suck ass every time. But, even more so when that stupid idiot is there.
He got to me before I could run. You'd have thought it would be easy to walk into the building before that stupid group of allied forces and be able to sneak into the meeting without him seeing me past that huge-ass Russia, wouldn't you? Well you're wrong. Dead-reaking-wrong. Bastard. At least I managed to get into the building this time. I even got into the conference room but the SECOND I head to get my /OWN/ chair for once, he grabs me like the bastard he is. And /NO/ before you comment. I did /NOT/ scream. I don't scream. Girls scream. And, no, my scream doesn't sound like a girl's scream – not that I ever scream. I..yell. That's the one. See? Manly. Fuck you.
So, I yelp when he grabs me, yeah? Well, don't tell me you wouldn't you stuck up bastard! Because, you would! Anyway, I didn't blush either, before you ask. It's not like I'm an idiot. That would only encourage him anyway, not that he needs any encouraging. Stupid bastard only went and sat me on his lap like some little kid, didn't he? I told him that, y'know, and he said I was more like a kitty. A FUCKING KITTY. Can you believe the NERVE of that stupid Spaniard? I'm OBVIOUSLY a lion if I'm ANY animal at all – which I'm not because that would be stupid. Shut up. Don't even start.
Then what did that idiot do? Freaking cuddled up to me like some freaking puppy or something. Though, not, obviously, because puppies can't attack, trap, and neck-rape people. Yes, it was rape don't even pretend like you didn't see that. I know you sicko's think I like that shit. Idiots. You're all as bad as he is. But, yeah. I yell and maybe hit him a little and tell him to pack it in. It's not like anyone was paying attention to us, though, seeing as that caterpillar bastard was being felt up so obviously by glasses idiot across from us two. You'd think those fags would get a room, wouldn't you? But, no. Caterpillar just sat there trying to pretend it wasn't happening. And I totally saw that potato bastard stare at them for a bit whilst talking before eyeing up my Fratello. He'd be lucky. Bastard. Feli has some respect so he'd be lucky- okay. He doesn't have respect. But, he's too much of an idiot to do anything anyway. Plus, he only sleeps in my bed because I'm his brother and obviously the favourite. But, whatever.
So, at this point i'd obviously given up on the idiot, hadn't I? It wasn't like I WANTED him to keep neck-raping me so STFU NOW. But, he wasn't going to stop no matter what I did, was he? And I was tired. So, anyway, instead I just ignore him and, like the puppy he is, he tries to get my attention again. Demanding bastard, I know right? So, yeah. He actually does something half-decent this time. NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTED BASTARDS. No, he puts one of the tomatoes from the basket I hadn't noticed beside him on the desk in front of me in offering. Well, he may be a bastard but who am I to ignore a tomato just WAITING to be eaten? It was freaking delicious too, thanks for asking. Not that it was nice because it was his, though. No, it was just a good tomato. Because all tomatoes are good. Oh, shut up. I'm going to kick your ass so far up the internet that you'll go back in time if you keep having a go. Perverts. I don't know why I haven't blocked you yet. 'Cause I totally know how to do that. Everyone does, right? I'd be an idiot not to...SHUT UP ALREADY YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG FREAKING IDEA.
ANYWAY. Before you interrupt AGAIN what does that idiot do? I'm sat there, happily munching on this freaking king of fruit and veg – yes, both of them, fuck you – and he just HAS to lift up his hand and pull on my curl, doesn't he? That freaking bastard. He knows not to but he does anyway. So, obviously, I drop the half-eaten tomato on the desk and start hitting him, don't I? Whispering that he's a bastard – it was only out of respect, it's not like I'm scared of the potato bastard anyway so shut up. He let's go, finally, but he'd already done the damage hadn't he? But, at least my face wasn't as red as the caterpillar's...not that I checked or anything.
But, yeah, anywatijdfvoc nj b HE LOVEDSD IT! HE TURNEDIRENIERN AROUND REGTIRERANDRIT KISSED ME! HE WAS REALLY SOFT WITH HIS LIPS TOO! EVEN MORE SO WHEN GOT DOWN OFF MY LAPREUINRTHERUSDFN AND WENT UNDER THETTGRIGNJGB TABLE AND he
Posted at 11:13pm Monday 23rd.
TomatoTamer Commented on this post at 11:42pm Monday 23rd:
A mi de tomate~
Please unlock the bathroom door and come back to bed!
You don't need to be embarassed~!
So, yeah. xD Review and shizz if you like.
It's /so/ bad I can write that in half an hour but my essay'll take me 2 hours to even THINK about. xD