Episode 1: Test Drive- Again!?
A/N: I don't think I'll be continuing this unless it somehow becomes popular. I was just trying to get an idea out of my head. Also, I don't own any of the characters except for my own OCs. Enjoy!
"In the year 3037, Earth is in dire turmoil. Half a century ago, the planet made its first contact with an extraterrestrial race known as the Glorft, a war-like race that only sought to crush puny, inferior civilizations such as that found on our own blue planet. The war dragged on for years. The war rendered a third of our planet unsuitable for sustaining life due to the immense atomic bombings carried out by Earth's government to wipe out the Glorft's terrestrial forces. It succeeded, but little did we know that the bulk of their forces were hidden in the cold blackness of space. We had to develop our technologies fast to match their war machines, humongous mechs built to resemble their slimy, tentacled faces. As the war carried on, we somehow managed to force their first wave of forces back into the Asteroid Belt. Then they called in reinforcements. Now, I fear Earth may be lost, along with mankind. In an attempt to make a last stand, I, Lieutenant Octavius Briefers Rock, have stolen the Glorft's latest mech, a powerful, high-tech machine that could turn the tide in the war. My modifications are finally complete, and I have just finished running tests on our temporal rift generator, which will send the mech and myself back to the year 3035, the year the Glorft Mothership launched a surprise attack on Mars Base. If I can destroy that ship along with the Glorft leader, I may be able to-"
"Lieutenant Rock? What the hell are you doing?" A voice muffled by radio static blared.
"I was just imputing my daily log, sir," Lt. Rock replied.
"We need you out here! Our base has been compromised!" Lt. Rock's eyes widened and he scrambled to his mech.
Lt. Rock's mech was a large, spindly machine colored white, silver, and blue with a red visor over where its eyes would be. Lt. Rock clambered up the ladder as ear-splitting explosions rocked the base. He placed his hand on a scanner, and the mech's chest opened up, revealing the cockpit. Lt. Rock put on his flight helmet and mask, strapped himself in, and activated his mech, ready for action. His cockpit pressurized just as the base's roof was blown off by enemy fire, exposing its contents to the vacuum of space.
"Fucking Glorft!" Lt. Rock screamed as his mech grabbed a rifle clipped to a massive storage rack beside it. The mech blasted through the roof and fired upon a massive wave of enemy Glorft mechs flying towards the base at high speeds.
"Lieutenant, fall back!" A voice crackled over Lt. Rock's radio.
"But sir-"
"The war is lost, soldier," the voice interrupted remorsefully. "It's up to you, now. Send that prototype back to the Moon Battle and win us the war!" And with that, his radio fell silent as he saw an explosion in the distance.
"Understood," Lt. Rock mumbled to himself. "Wave Two, do you copy?"
"I copy Lieutenant! We are awaiting your orders!" Another voice called out over the radio.
"I need you to hold that line as long as you can. I've got to deliver a belated birthday present to our gests!"
"I understand, sir! We'll buy you all the time we can!" As soon as the transmission ended, a swarm of mechs built similarly to Lt. Rock's flew out of a crater behind the destroyed base. They engaged the enemy, slowing their advance considerably.
"I've only got one shot," Lt. Rock told himself. He flew into one of the craters and his mech was engulfed by a pair of heavy metal doors.
He flew through miles of manmade tunnels until finally he reached a flat surface. Lt. Rock landed his mech, jumped out, and ran for a massive pair of metal doors in front of him. He hit a button on his wrist and they opened, revealing another mech. The mech was much blockier in build than his sleeker mech he was piloting moments ago. It had huge, rectangular arms with giant fists. Wiring and metal claws clung to its armor.
Lt. Rock pressed another button and the wiring popped off, causing a cloud of water vapor to engulf the mech. The metal arms moved away as an elevator beside the mech opened up and Lt. Rock jumped inside. He was halfway up when he received another transmission.
"Lieutenant, be advised! We got reinforcements heading your way! They've breached our security doors and are headed- Augh!" The radio went silent; nothing but heavy static.
"Shit…" Lt. Rock mumbled. Just then, several Glorft mechs landed beside his former mech just as the elevator reached its destination. "Shit!" He screamed.
The enemy mechs blasted his empty mech, turning it into a smoldering pile of metal. They then walked towards the prototype. Lt. Rock opened up the cockpit and hit a switch. A large cannon popped out of the prototype mech's arm and it blasted all the enemies in the room. The mech's radar started flashing red as it showed a large number of red dots heading towards his location.
"I can't let them near the prototype…" Lt. Rock hit a few buttons and the words "Temporal Rift Activated" flashed on the screen. A blinding flash of light shot up from the hidden base into outer space, ripping a portal in the fabric of time. Then the prototype shut down.
"Damn, none of my weapons work while the time drive is active… I'll have to use one of the service mechs."
Lt. Rock opened the cockpit back up and took the elevator back down. He then entered a mech docked directly in front of the prototype. With the press of a button, the mech sprang alive, grabbed a weapon from the rack on the wall, and knelt down to the Lieutenant's level. Lt. Rock jumped into the cockpit.
"At least I can control the time drive directly from here," Lt. Rock said as he punched a few buttons. "Destination Year: 3035" flashed on a small screen beside him.
The prototype mech fired up its engines and flew towards the portal. Lt. Rock activated his own and followed it. He flipped another switch and his mech popped a clip of ammo into the rifle it was carrying. Just then, a few enemy Glorft attacked him, but he unloaded the clip he just loaded into them, destroying the mechs. He turned to see if the prototype was okay, but saw an even more horrifying sight. Just beyond the portal was the Glorft mothership, the Karajor.
Aboard the ship, Glorft soldiers slithered along using their many tentacles, maintaining the ship's course and preparing to engage the Earthling's mechs. Up in the bridge, one of the Glorft commanding officers noticed the portal with Lt. Rock and the prototype mech floating into it. He tapped on another Glorft's shoulder.
"Lord Gorrath," he said. "There appears to be some sort of rift above the Earther's secret base, and it would appear as if the prototype is being drawn into it."
"What!?" Lord Gorrath roared, pounding his fist on a computer console. "Bring the Karajor around. I want that mech! General! Arm your mechs and retrieve that prototype!"
"Wave Two, do you copy!?" Lt. Rock screamed over his radio. "The Glorft mothership is heading my way and I need back up ASAP! Hello? Goddammit…"
He and the prototype were immediately showered with enemy fire. Lt. Rock returned fire, taking down a few Glorft mechs. After a fierce firefight, the wave was destroyed, but not after Lt. Rock's own mech sustained heavy damage.
"Sir, our first wave has been neutralized," the Glorft Commander pointed out.
"You mean to tell me my entire first wave of well-trained soldiers was wiped out by an Earther!?" Gorrath raged. "Send every available mech into battle! I want my mech back!"
Lt. Rock looked at his mech's damage report. His left leg was too damaged to move and he only had a half a clip of ammo left. On the bright side, he and the prototype were almost into the temporal rift. He would soon be in the year 3035, and mankind would be saved!
Or so he thought… He turned to his right and saw a massive wave of enemies flying his way. He fired on them first, taking out a few in front, but thousands quickly took their place.
"Dammit!" Lt. Rock yelled. "You sons of bitches!" Lt. Rock unloaded the rest of his clip, taking down a few more, but he quickly ran out of ammo. "I'm not finished yet!"
Lt. Rock punched a button and a plasma bayonet shot out from the bottom of the gun's barrel. He used it to slice through enemy mechs as they tried engaging him in hand-to-hand combat. The wave fell back as he got closer to the rift, not wanting to get sucked in themselves. They instead fired at him from a distance, hitting the prototype. The screen reading "Destination Year:" on Lt. Rock's mech went haywire.
"Not good…" Lt. Rock punched a few buttons to try and fix the time drive, but the prototype was hit by a stray missile, sending it tumbling into the rift, its head blown off. "No!" Lt. Rock was then blasted by another missile and sent hurtling through time and space, his mech heavily damaged.
"After them!" Gorrath commanded.
"But sir, that rift could dump us into any of the Earther's time periods. Who knows where we'll end up?"
"I… don't… care!" Gorrath roared. "I'll destroy this planet during its creation to get my mech back!" The Karajor and its accompanying mechs went into the temporal rift as it closed up and vanished.
Little did they know, the mech the two forces had been fighting over went back much farther than anticipated. The prototype mech was dumped into Earth's atmosphere in the year 1934, where it orbited Earth for a few months until it eventually fell out of orbit and on the outskirts of what was to be Japantown, inside San Francisco, California. The mech landed in a junkyard, and there it remained for decades.
While the prototype was buried, its surrounding area changed. In order to pay for its massive debt, the US sold the portion of San Francisco dubbed "Japantown" to the Japanese, where it was renamed "Daten City" by its residents. It turns out, the US was right in selling the suburb. It sat right over the gates of Hell, the home of horrible demons, monsters, and other spirits. Over time, the mech became buried by piles and piles of scrap metal, its own dented mass hiding the mech in plain sight.
Now we come to the present day, the year 2013. The junkyard is still in business, however it has long expanded with massive mountains of junk and scrap metal rising against Daten City's foreground. The city had gone through a lot of changes. The town was formerly run by Corset, an evil denizen of Hell who also ran Hell Incorporated, a business that specialized in creating demons and ghosts to terrorize the citizens of Daten City. His time had come to an end, however. In the middle of his grand scheme to unlock Hell's Gate, he was forced out of office after Daten City was re-recognized as an American property. He then went completely bankrupt after being sued by flying DOG and the Victor Entertainment record company for illegally distributing their hit song, "Daten City Rock."
This caused problems for Corset's arch-nemeses as well. Before his company went down the toilet, he was constantly thwarted by a pair of immoral angels named Panty and Stocking Anarchy. The ghosts created by Corset, as well as those he unleashed from Hell, dropped a type of spiritual currency known as "Heaven Coins" in which the angels needed to collect in order to return to Heaven. When Hell, Inc. went under, there were less and less ghosts and demons for the sisters to fight, but when the US Government restructured how ghosts and spirits would be distributed to the afterlife, all paranormal activity ceased in Daten City, effectively stranding the angels here on Earth. And from there, things got worse. Victor Entertainment noticed that the sisters had been using Heaven Coins to fund Corset's illegal distribution of their music and making $666,000 a week. Though they claimed to not know that Corset was behind the operation, they still lost all the Heaven Coins they had collected during the first season of their series, "Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt." The final blow was when they were cut loose from production of the second season of their show. And this is where our story begins…
"Stocking! Get your fat ass down here now!" A feminine voice screeched. It echoed throughout the old church.
"Fuck off! I'm busy!" The violet-haired angel yelled back. She was sitting on the couch in the living room watching television.
Meanwhile, in the church's garage, Panty was waiting on her younger sister impatiently. The blonde was standing in front of a mass covered by a grey tarp. Her arms were folded across her chest impatiently. Hearing her sister's reply, she stormed over to the fuse box, where she tore out a bunch of wires. Back upstairs, the television cut off.
"No! Right in the middle of the season finale of Time Surgeon!" Stocking stood to her feet and stomped over to the elevator.
Back in the garage, Panty had uncovered the front of the tarp and was polishing a pair of headlights. She stood to her feet, only to be met with a jar of Jean-Paul Heaven-brand pudding to the face. She wiped the mess of pudding and broken glass off her face.
"How dare you interrupt me in the middle of Time Surgeon! I was about to find out the true name of my beloved surgeon!" Stocking activated her Stripe 1 weapon, a sword created from one of her trademark leg stockings. "You've got ten seconds to fix the TV!"
"You need to stop watching that shit anyways, it's for nerds." Just then, the outside door to the garage was kicked open. A short, ginger kid wearing a green jumpsuit ran inside. "Speaking of which…" Panty mumbled.
"Where…the fuck… is my video game hardware!?" The boy screamed. "I've gone thirty minutes without playing 'Green Ops' and if I don't play it soon-"
"Shut the fuck up, Geek Boy!" Panty punched him. "I took your shit. I needed parts to fix See Through and your nerdy gaming crap worked nicely!"
"What did you do to See Through!?" Stocking demanded. "You better not have totaled it again!"
"Yes, I totaled it again, but it's fine! See?"
Panty tore off the tarp, revealing a new and improved See Through. It had a hotrod engine sticking out of the hood, had a cherry red paintjob with flames going down the side, and a flaming eagle stitched on the convertible roof. Stocking and Brief stared at it.
"You interrupted my Time Surgeon for this!?" Stocking wailed. "I mean it's nice, but it could've waited!" Stocking attacked her sister, but Panty used a wrench to deflect Stocking's attacks.
"That's not all I wanted to show you!" Panty said, pinning Stocking's sword to the workbench.
Panty reached over and pulled a lever. Without warning, See Through rose up off the garage floor and busted through the ceiling, destroying the garage. The hummer now sat as the head of the prototype mech that was sent back in time. It now sported a baby blue paint job with various flames along the arms, chest, and legs. On the back of the feet hung large, metal mudflaps with a large penis printed on each of them.
"Cool…" 'Geek Boy' said in awe.
"Garterbelt is going to murder you…" Stocking mumbled.
The three of them climbed into the car/head piece of their new giant robot. The guts of 'Geek Boy's' gaming stuff was connected to See Through's new console, which now had so many buttons and gizmos, it made James Bond's car look dull in comparison. On the top of the dash, there was an anthropomorphic penis wearing a hula skirt and the steering wheel had a Z-Box 860 controller clipped to it.
"How the Hell did you put all this together?" Stocking asked, examining See Through's new interior.
"I just took some duct tape and wires from that junk pile and stuck everything together. It wasn't that hard…" Panty bragged. "Pretty dope, eh? It's got a ten-head CD player, vibrating seats for aching backs and pleasure on the go…" Panty winked seductively. "Oh, and front and back missile launchers, a cock-mounted cannon-thingy, and Wi-Fi."
"So cool!" Brief said as he drooled. Stocking stared at Panty's modifications, seemingly unimpressed. Panty's dash ornament caught her eye.
"What the fuck is this?" Stocking ripped Panty's hula –penis off the dash board. "Honestly, you're so revolting."
"Hey, put that back you tasteless bitch!" Panty grabbed the vulgar ornament, but Stocking held on tight. The two sisters then started a violent tug-of-war over it.
In the backseat, Brief paid no heed to the quarreling angels. He was flipping switches and looking at holographic technical readouts of their new "toy" in awe. How someone as technologically ignorant as Panty put all this together was beyond him, though. Meanwhile, Panty and Stocking's fight carried on in the front seat. As they fought, they hit buttons and flipped switches, until one of them set off the humongous mecha's anti-theft alarm. The lights on See Through flashed and loud, annoying sirens blared, echoing throughout the city, breaking all the windows in a nearby skyscraper.
"Now look what you did!" Stocking screamed. "Turn it off!"
"I'm trying!" Panty hit every button in reach, but the sirens kept going off.
As the two angels scrambled to cut off the alarm, Brief continued reading over the technical readouts. Suddenly, something out the side window caught his eye. A huge, blue light flashed across the sky and three objects appeared. They flew through the sky over Daten City and over the mech.
"Um, guys…" Brief interrupted.
"What!?" Panty and Stocking asked angrily at him. They were about to turn on Brief when they heard a loud crash in front of them.
Three strange mecha stood in front of them, designed like the mechs from the future. Piloting the one in the middle was none other than Lt. Rock. The alarm the Anarchy sisters set off had been inadvertently tied to the mech's homing beacon and had lead the future soldier to their time in his quest to find the prototype. Lt. Rock's face flashed on See Through's windshield.
"Stand down, you primitives!" Lt. Rock demanded. "I'm just here for my robot. Surrender it and I'll leave peacefully."
"Who the fuck are you?" Panty asked rudely.
Lt. Rock groaned. "That robot you're piloting was sent to your time by mistake. I'm here to retrieve it."
"Sure, I'll hand it over," Panty growled as she grabbed the steering wheel. The prototype struck a fighting pose.
"There's no need to fight!" Lt. Rock exclaimed.
"Um, Panty… Are you sure you know how to drive this fucking thing?" Stocking asked.
"How hard could it be?" Panty assured her. "Okay, where the hell did I put first gear?"
Panty pulled on what looked like a gear shift, causing a missile to pop out of the robot's shoulder and fire at these enemies from the future. The missile nearly hit them when it suddenly changed course and shot off into space, where it hit an orbiting Gainax-TV satellite dish.
"Whoops…" Panty said.
"You dumb bitch…" Stocking criticized.
"Shut the fuck up…"
In the backseat, Brief was trying to open the back doors to escape. He didn't want to be in there during some kind of giant mech battle, especially when Panty was the one piloting it!
"Uh, could you let me out please?" He asked nervously.
"Shut up!" Panty tilted her seat back, crushing Brief.
Panty stomped on the gas pedal and the giant robot sped forward at a surprisingly high speed. She stopped the mech in front of Lt. Rock. One of his ally mechs leaped at the prototype, but Panty caught it with the beefy mech's massive fists and crushed its head. She then threw it over her shoulder where it crashed into Daten City High, smashing the building to pieces.
"Yay!" The students who were all outside for no particular reason cheered.
"So much for school tomorrow…" Brief mumbled.
"That's it! You bitches are going down!" Lt. Rock yelled. He and his remaining ally charged at the Anarchy sisters' giant robot. He swung his mech's fist, but Panty caught it.
"Shouldn't you invite me to dinner?" Panty teased, her mech easily overpowering Lt. Rock's robot.
"For the last time, we don't need to do this!" Lt. Rock screamed. "I just need the MEGAS prototype to avert a disaster in the future!"
"Avert this, asshole!"
Panty pounded a button with her fist and the MEGAS prototype lifted up Lt. Rock's mech over its head. It threw it into his ally, smashing both mechs. Badly damaged, Lt. Rock's mech staggered to its feet, the Megas prototype standing over it. Panty then made Megas' leg kick the enemy mech in the groin, then it punched the battered futuristic mech in the head, putting an end to the conflict. Lt. Rock left his mech's cockpit, a gun in his hand, but before he could use it, Megas grabbed the ginger teenager and lifted him up to the robot's head.
"Ugh, how did you primitive apes beat me?" He asked begrudgingly, helpless in his position.
"Hey, who are you calling an ape?" Panty asked back. "I'm going to pound you to a fucking pulp for calling me that!" Panty made Megas pull back its other fist to smash Lt. Rock, but she hesitated. "Damn, I can't do this…"
Lt. Rock let out a sigh of relief. "Now can you let me go so I can explain-"
"I can't do it because you'll splatter blood all over my paint job! I spent three weeks painting this bitch and I don't want it ruined by some flea-dicked punk from the future!"
"Look you beat me, so just let me go!" Lt. Rock yelled.
"Fine, but only because you're kinda cute…" Panty let Lt. Rock down on Megas' shoulder and everybody got out of See Through.
"Ugh, what the hell did you do to my robot?" Lt. Rock complained.
"My robot!" Panty corrected him. "Mine! Wanna see?" Panty opened the back door for him to get in. Lt. Rock groaned and sat down in the back seat. Panty, Stocking, and Brief got back inside. "It was pretty banged up, so I had to do a lot of custom work. I dropped in a new engine, salvaged some scrap from the junkyard, and tore apart Geek-boy's favorite video game shit- that was the fun part, by the way! Doh-ho-ho-ho!" Panty laughed evilly as Brief frowned.
"You're a bitch…" Stocking frowned.
"It's ruined!" Lt. Rock wailed.
"It's awesome!" Panty corrected him again. "I don't like you dissing my ride, future-boy!"
"This mech was mankind's only hope against the Glorft and you ruined it!"
Panty stared at him blankly. "Huh?"
"I stole Megas from the Glorft and modified it so I could send it back in time to stop the Glorft from destroying Earth and mankind!"
Panty was still staring at Lt. Rock blankly. "Huh?"
"Forgive her, she's mentally defective…" Stocking remarked.
"You're the one who's a mental detective!" Panty kicked Stocking in the head and the two started fighting again.
"So, about those Glorft guys…" Brief said.
"It's defective, you dumb cunt!" Stocking yelled.
"They're a ruthless alien race that defeats mankind in the future," Lt. Rock explained.
"I don't give a shit what it is!" Panty screamed back, hitting Stocking over the head with the penis dash ornament from before. "Take that!"
"Good thing they're still in the future…" Brief said.
"You fucking slut!" Stocking smacked Panty over the head with a tire iron.
"Actually, they're tracking me through time," Lt. Rock corrected. "When Panty destroyed my robot, it cut my tracking signal off, so the Glorft shouldn't be able to find me now."
Panty and Stocking continued to squabble, when Panty got smacked into a large, red button on the dashboard labeled, "Tachyon Beacon Do Not Push You Dumbass!" A high-pitched whine assailed the angels' ears, stopping their feud.
"You dumbasses!" Lt. Rock yelled. "You've activated the tachyon beacon! Now the Glorft can track Megas!" Stocking rolled down the window and stuck her head out to escape the noise. She looked up in the sky and was slightly disturbed by what she saw. Finally the noise stopped.
"Busted my fucking nose…" Panty grumbled, wiping her now-bleeding nose from where Stocking hit her. "I better not bleed on my leather seats…"
"So, these Glorft guys," Stocking started. "They're, like, this invincible race of aliens that drive these ugly-ass snot-green giant robots, right?"
"How did you know?" Lt. Rock asked.
"Because, that kinda looks like them…"
Stocking pointed into the air and there was a temporal rift over Daten City, an endless amount of Glorft war-bots raining down from the skies. They all landed around Megas, leaving the giant mech hopelessly outnumbered.
"Well… shit," Lt. Rock muttered.
"Speaking of which…" Brief added, a sickly splattering noise sounding off behind him.
"Ugh, not in my seats!" Panty screamed. One of the mechs projected a giant, floating holographic Glorft head in front of Megas; Gorrath!
"Earther scum! Surrender the stolen prototype war-bot and your deaths will be quick and painless!" Gorrath demanded.
"How about you go suck off your mom, you oversized calamari!" Panty yelled back. She shifted the gear, but Megas made a nasty grinding noise. "Aw, what the fuck?" Panty jostled the gearshift again, but nothing happened.
"Take them!" Gorrath commanded. His troops charged forward.
Panty finally got Megas started again and sprang into action. She clapped Megas' hands together to create a massive shockwave, sending Gorrath's men flying backwards. Panty pressed a button and Megas jumped in the air and elbow-dropped a nearby Glorft war-bot, smashing it to bits. Swarms of Glorft mechs dog-piled Megas, but were quickly thrown off.
"The Earthers' fighting skills are admirable," the Glorft commander stated.
"Okay, you cock-sucking, snot-colored alien motherfuckers!" Panty exclaimed. "You're in my town now, and nobody gets to wreck it… Uh, except for me!"
Panty charged forward and tore into the Glorft army. Panty grabbed the controller on the steering wheel and started hitting buttons like mad, causing Megas to execute brutally damaging attacks. Megas grabbed a Glorft mech by the head and spun around, smashing him into several surrounding mech, destroying them. Megas then leaped into the air and body slammed the middle of the army, sending out another massive shockwave, destroying more Glorft. Panty then had Megas suplex one of the Glorft mechs, smashing its head in.
"This is how we should've been fighting all along!" Panty yelled, still hitting buttons like mad.
"Where did you learn how to fight like this?" Stocking asked, bored. Panty flashed back to watching Brief play video games at the church over the years and watching pay-per-view wrestling. "Figures…"
Panty continued to smash Glorft mechs until she was down to Gorrath and a few other mechs.
"I swear on my jorblocks, I will have that mech…" Gorrath growled.
"Too bad, cunt-breath! It's mine now, and there ain't nothing you can do about it!" Panty gripped the steering wheel tightly and revved See Through's new engine.
"Oh, how wrong you are, Earther scum…" Gorrath laughed. "Commander! Activate the UMD!"
The Glorft's remaining mechs all started transforming and combining. They did this over and over and over again until they finally created a massive mech. Panty had to have Megas lean back just so they could see the top of the mech. It was literally as big as a mountain, one of its feet alone smashed eight Daten City blocks.
"What the fuck is that!?" Panty asked.
"That's a UMD," Lt. Rock explained. "It's the Glorft's most powerful weapon. I've fought one before, and it's invincible."
"We'll just see about that…" Panty said. Megas ran at the UMD, jumped up in the air, and brought its fists down on the UMD, but slid off like a bug. The UMD then flicked Megas away like an insect.
"Well… fuck…" Panty grumbled.
"Any more 'brilliant' ideas?" Stocking asked sarcastically.
"Shut your fucking face," Panty answered. Megas stood to its feet. "You scratched my paint job, you son of a bitch!"
Panty slammed her fist down on a button and Megas' crotch piece opened up. A cannon shaped like a battleship from space popped out and began charging a massive beam. The cannon was about to fire when a massive crash was heard. Panty, Stocking, Brief, and Lt. Rock looked up at the UMD. There was a massive satellite resting on the ginormous mech, the rocket Panty launched at Lt. Rock embedded in its side. Megas retracted its space battleship crotch cannon, walked up to the UMD, and kicked it in the "balls." The mech fell over with a crash, the shockwave destroying what was left of Daten City.
"Winner! Panty Anarchy!" A mechanical voice over See Through's speakers blared. "The baaaallllll busteeeerrrrr!"
"That was easy!" Panty boasted, dusting off her hands. "You future guys must be a bunch of pussies if these losers beat you!"
"You just won by dumb luck…" Lt. Rock muttered.
"So, what's your name, hot-stuff?" Panty asked Lt. Rock seductively. Brief's face turned red.
"I'm Lieutenant Octavius Briefers Rock," Lt. Rock replied, shoving Panty off.
"What!?" Brief exclaimed. "A-are you me… from the future!? Because my name is Briefers Rock!"
"No, but it is possible we could be related. In the year 3037, most of mankind's history records were destroyed in the war with the Glorft, so it's possible we could be related somehow."
"Ugh, you're related to geek-boy!?" Panty gagged as Stocking laughed at her. "And to think I almost fucked him…"
"So, what now?" Stocking asked. Just as she asked, Garterbelt opened the church door and looked at the destruction the angels and the Glorft wrought on Daten City.
"God… my… oh!" The pedophilic priest exclaimed. "You angels are gonna get off your lazy asses and clean this mess or so help me Imma stuff your asses in sauerkraut and feed ya to the ducks!"
And with that, Garterbelt slammed the door and the Anarchy sisters spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up Daten City.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town by a destroyed restaurant, a limousine was parked out front. Standing outside were two demonic girls dressed as fast-food workers.
"What the fuck happened to our place of employment!" The first one wailed.
"It seems that it's destroyed, dear sister!" Exclaimed the other one.
"I bet that slut Panty had something to do with this!"
"Now, now Scanty, remember your blood pressure!"
"I'm sorry, Kneesocks, it's just that I've been a little hot-tempered since we had to get these low-rate jobs to pay off the lawyers," Scanty pouted. "I miss the good old days when we were rich enough to splurge on insidious plans to destroy those fucking angels!"
"It's not all bad," Kneesocks consoled her sister. "At least we got to keep the limo…"
Just as Kneesocks said that, a massive robotic foot stomped on half of their limo, crushing it. The demon sisters looked up to see the Glorft army in retreat. Their boss, Corset, rolled the front window down of the crushed limo, obviously angry.
"This isn't insured, you son of a bitch!"
Corset broke off one of the side mirrors and threw it at the mech as it walked away. The mech stopped and turned around, it's cockpit opening up to reveal Lord Gorrath. Gorrath was just as angry as Corset, his green skin a reddish tint from his sheer rage.
"How dare you assault the great Lord Gorrath, pathetic Earther!"
"Sir," the Glorft commander said, "You were just defeated by a pathetic Earther…"
"Silence, or I'll have your jorblocks! Those stupid broads! I will destroy them!"
Corset overheard the exchange and grinned sinisterly. "Say, were these broads two teenage girl with purple and yellow hair?"
"Yes…" Gorrath replied. "How do you know them?"
"They have brought me misfortune in the past. I see that you aren't from around here. I would like to offer my services to help you destroy them! Me and my associates!" Corset dragged Scanty and Kneesocks to his side, who were cowering under a restaurant bench.
"And why should we recruit a group of worthless Earthers?" Gorrath asked.
"Sir, their knowledge of the Earther's fighting style could be invaluable to our assault." The Glorft Commander suggested.
"Hmm, if we agree to let you assist us, you must recognize me as your supreme overlord and obey my every command without question! Also, you must relinquish your entire knowledge of those blasted wenches and learn to pilot a Glorft war-bot! Do you understand?" Gorrath bellowed.
"Yes, of course, sir!" Corset agreed.
"Good. Now, come aboard," Gorrath said as he scooped up Corset, Scanty, and Kneesocks into his war-bot. "We have some planning to do…"