Stay with me

by Fabray-Lopez

They're friends, they're enemies, they're something more and, so, the circle goes on. Quinn and Santana genderswap

Summary: They're friends, they're enemies, they're something more and, so, the circle goes on.

Warning: Quinn and Santana genderswap. A lot of swearing (not really, but there are some)

(Author's note : -If it's easier to read when the story is divided into different chapters tell me. I will change it. )

Stay with me

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I

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Seeing Rachel dance with another boy made him angry and jealous. No, the feelings didn't arise because of her. What made him mad was seeing whose arms caressed her body.

That traitor!

His nostrils flared.

Rachel was dancing, grinding into an enemy's crouch, smiling like an idiot with her face flushed with heat and probably alcohol.

Him, it was always Santiago Lopez, who managed to steal everything. He stole his spot as the captain, not for long, but it still left a scar on his heart. He stole his girls with his stupidly charming smile and subtle indentions near the corners of his mouth. But that's just nothing. He stole much more.

This joker was nothing more than a poor boy with a bad attitude and a leather jacket. A poor boy that betrayed him. A boy that stabbed his back so many times. A friend that broke his heart.

A girl from William McKinley High School traced her perfectly manicured fingernails across his forearm while whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

This was the game he and Rachel always played. Always trying to overstep the line, embarrassing each other, lying to each other.

And Santiago was his line. And he'd better go to hell then let Santiago humiliate him.

Maybe they fucked like rabbits, maybe they didn't. He wasn't a fool. Chemistry? They had that. If Rachel wouldn't be his girlfriend and Santiago would be his friend he would push them together. They had something, something that Rachel and him never had, they seemed like magnets. They had this force, some energy that didn't let a person intervene in its path.

Their bodies were flushed so comfortably, like lovers that were familiar with each other.

The loud music vibrated through his body, but it didn't soothe his soul. He smiled at the blonde girl that talked his ear off. She was beautiful- tall, reaching his height; elegant, she moved with effortless grace; blue eyes, reminding him the void of the cloudless daytime sky.

He knew her. Of course he knew her. A cheerleader girl that seemed to be like a butterfly. Brittany Pierce was a perfect distraction. She could talk for hours- Rachel could too, but Brittany didn't care if people listened.

She was Rachel's line.

So he kissed her. He was aggressive because he needed. And if kissing a girl will help him out, why not? It seemed a better idea than his fist meeting the cheek of the traitor.

It didn't even reach the best part when he heard the loud voice. "What the hell is going?" Rachel said. "Quinnton?"

It almost made him smile. Almost because he wasn't some idiot to have a smug look while his girlfriend tears his eyes out and hangs his balls on a tree.

Looking at Rachel he couldn't help himself, letting his eyes reach Santiago's. The man didn't back out, looking at him curiously.

He put a distance between Brittany and himself. "Nothing," he said. It was kind of nothing- it didn't meant a thing nor did he enjoyed.

"You're fucking unbelievable." Rachel hissed.

"Who's talking?" He couldn't just be silent. As childish as it seemed- SHE STARTED.

"You know what? I'm done with your games-" She was good at those games, she played him. It was his games but she was the winner because they both knew he needed her.

"Rachel, stop being dramatic." Quinnton let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I am being dramatic? I? I'll show you dramatic when I leave your sorry ass, you jerk." She walked closer to him, pointing her finger in air with each word, till she was so close, stabbing her digit into his chest. "How can you kiss someone when I'm just few feet away from you? Do you know how humiliating this is?"

"Well, let's talk about how you, my supposed to be a perfect girlfriend, shook her ass into some asshole's dick." Quinnton hissed, narrowing his hazel eyes at her. "Do you know how humiliating that is? To have your girlfriend fucking some scum in public?"

"Hey." Santiago puffed out, but Quinnton quickly shot him a glare. It wasn't his fight.

She loudly exhaled a quick huff from her nose. "Friends can dance, Quinnton, maybe you need to find some so you could know the difference between a sexual act and dancing."

He laughed loudly- it wasn't from amusement, it was from the bullshit she was feeding him. "This is good, Rachel. So freaking good." He quickly ran his tongue over his lips. "Then you should know that me and Brittany were just being friendly. You know, if you'd have friends you'd know that kissing is just what they do."

"You're a moron, Quinnton. I'm done with you," Rachel said, turning around. He let out a surprised chuckle. Done? They are far from done. Later, when their blood stop boiling, she will smile at him, bat her eyelashes, fuck him with her big brown eyes.

"Where the fuck are you going," he asked, folding his strong arms over his chest." I drove you here."

Rachel didn't turn around to look at him, but she turned her middle finger at him. "Lopez will drive me home," she said.

"No way, princess. You won't be sitting in his stupid car, especially alone with him," Quinnton said, scowling. Momentary his eyes flicked to Santiago, the boy was silent, his eyebrows were furrowed as his eyes danced from Quinnton to Rachel. It looked like he has bit his tongue in the ark of conversation for once.

"Rachel." He shouted, watching her leave, Santiago like some puppy followed her skirt. He shook his head, quickly glaring at the people enjoying this drama and stormed outside.

"So what, we're done talking because princess is tired of it?" Quinnton said, pursuing her. He pumped his legs faster, blocking her way.

"Yes, now get out of my way," she said. She rubbed her brow like trying to ward off a headache. That's what she gets for being stupid, a headache, maybe more. "Quinnton, look we both are angry and you're drunk, why don't we talk tomorrow," Rachel asked.

"But I'm supposed to drive you back," he said.

"You. Are. Drunk. Don't you dare to drive anywhere." She glared at him.

"But that asshole is too. Do you trust it more than me?" He said, blindly stabbing his finger in Santiago's direction.

She knew why Quinnton hated him, she knew, but she still chose him. She was just like him. A betraying whore.

"Quinnton, it's him. He's a person. Respect him." Rachel looked at him, the same look she gave him when they started to be this ineffective union- she looked at him like he's an idiot.

Quinnton let out an animalist growl mixed with whine. "Stop changing the subject." He barked. "Do you trust him more than me?"

Rachel pinched her lips together. "Right now, yes, I do, Quinnton. He isn't intoxicated. And…" She shook her head.

"And what?" He said loudly.

"And nothing, Quinnton. Just go to sleep, we'll talk someday, but right now I'm so angry I don't want to see you. You kissed another, while I was in the same room, it's ridiculous."

"Be glad that it was only a kiss." He murmured.

SMACK!

The impact from the lithe diva was so hard that Quinnton's head turned to the side. He breathed deeply through his nose. The small brunette tried to storm past him again but Quinnton harshly grabbed her forearms.

"Quinnton, let me go," Rachel whimpered looking up at him.

"Why? You're my girlfriend I can do anything I want with you." He hissed grabbed her chin and kissed her lips. He closed his eyes tightly trying to feel something. Something that didn't created an ache in his heart.

"Quinnton," Rachel said, trying to push him away.

"I can fuck my girlfriend right here, right now." He watched as her lips trembled and his heart was squeezed or stabbed or was set on fire, because it fucking hurt him more than being embarrassed by her actions. "I'm... I'm so sorry..." he said shocked with himself. Quickly he released her. Does it really worth it to abuse her just to make himself feel better?

"Rachel," They both looked at Santiago. " Are you alright?" The bad boy said, ready to meddle in. "Look, dude." Santiago addressing him like that felt familiar coming from his lips, but how he said it and how he looked at him, that what hurt. Like he was just a stranger he walked past." We all need to sleep it off, you can be hysterical when you're in home," Santiago said.

"If you go with him now we're over," Quinnton said, desperately trying to have at least a drop of control he so needed in this situation.

"You know what? Fine, we're over," Rachel said, storming away and Santiago fast on her heels.

Quinnton cursed under his breath. They are a fucking power couple. Monday everybody will talk about it. Now, everybody talks. It almost feels like the house is silent, only whispers are cutting it. It feels like he can hear his name being mentioned over and over again.

He groaned.

Another problem to the queue, another incline to his popularity.

XXXXXXXX

Rachel ignored Quinnton all weekend. The worst part was when he saw her and Santiago walking through the halls of school. His arm around her shoulders and a smile on his lips.

God… he hated him.

Quinnton watched silently, not wanting to believe his eyes.

Everybody's going to laugh at him now.

He clenched his fist.

That soft, content, smile on Santiago's lips turned into a smirk as he saw Quinnton.

It was salt to his wounds, a punch to his guts.

He won't be a school's joker. He just can't.

He stormed to Santiago and Rachel, and smashed his fist into Santiago's face. The badass boy fell on the ground, looking shocked. Quinnton heard Rachel's scream but he simply ignored her.

The school became deathly silent, only few murmurs were heard. But Santiago was a fool, a daredevil. A smirk appeared on Santiago's face.

That's it. He's going to kill him.

Santiago stood up, smoothing out his leather jacket, the smirk never leaving his lips. He wiped the blood from the top lip. "You're hitting like some girl," Santiago said. "Rachel's slapped me harder."

His eyes flashed dangerous. He won't let some idiot to do this to him. He's the king, his word is law and he won't let this idiot to be a brick in his way of ruling this school.

Quinnton shoved Santiago's shoulders, his lips turning up into a cruel smile when he saw Santiago hiss, when his back hit the lockers. But the smile quickly vanished and yelp left his lips as Santiago crashed into him, like they did it million times.

He cursed him like a sailor but then groaned. "You're so fucking done, Lopez." He grasped his white t-shirt, managing to roll them around.

"What's going on?" A principal asked, cutting their physical fight.

He still clenched Santiago's shirt, refusing to give up. "Nothing, mister, just chatting up with an old friend." He quickly shot the principle a megawatt smile, struggling to stay on top.

The principal raised his thick eyebrows. "My office," he said.

Both boys grunted as they refused to release each other. He didn't want to be a loser who surrender first. He was Quinnton Fabray, he wasn't some idiot worshipping the ground their king walked, he was the KING.

"Fabray, I know you have the hots for me- the feeling is almost mutual. But I fear our fairytale love is not meant to be, maybe stop pinning yourself to me." Santiago loudly said, extracting a fit of laughter from students around them. His infamous smirk playing on his lips.

Quinnton breathed in deeply through his mouth. He closed his eyes counting to ten. Don't kill that idiot, don't kill that fucking idiot, played through his mind.

"You, both, go to the nurse and then to my office," The principal said with his thick accent.

"I bet you fantasized about this for ages, me being underneath you, you panting like a dog." Santiago whispered again and that was the last drop into the bucket of Quinnton's patience.

"I said now." The principal raised his voice.

But Quinnton didn't heard him. He threw punches aimless at Santiago, each harder than other. Quinnton grunted while hitting Santiago.

How dare him? How fucking dare him?! It was his fault Quinnton was like that. He made him like this with his stupid grin and endless eyes, with his stupid promises and friendly pats.

The self-declared badass did nothing to defend himself and attack Quinnton.

He felt hands grasping his shoulders, probably the principle or a student, who had a death wish. Fortunately to Santiago, people managed to pull Quinnton back. He panted as Santiago moaned in pain. A lazy satisfaction full smile crawled onto his lips.

"Lopez, to the nurse. And you!" The principal shouted. The look on his face was stormier than the clouds outside." Are going with me." He grabbed the collar of Quinnton's jersey jacket and dragged him away.

He grunted. "I'm walking, no need to drag me." He muttered.

"I can't believe that such a student like yourself would be so stupid." Principal Figgins ranted.

"Sit." The principal barked as they walked into his office. Quinnton wanted to object but he knew better. He needed to stay silent. He's learned that much in his lifeless house.

"We talked about this, Quinnton," Figgins said, he's dark eyebrows furrowed into thin line. Quinnton held his breath, if he gets suspended then he can say goodbye to football. And that would mean a social suicide. He would be nothing- a loser that wanders aimless though halls. A fallen king everyone would spit on.

"It wasn't my fault," Quinnton said, sulking into his seat, starting to crease the corner of his mouth with his thumb.

"You physically assaulted that boy, Quinnton," Principal said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He started," Quinnton said, he knew it was childish to act like this but it's his head or Santiago's.

"I saw everything." Principal snapped, looking more tired than ever.

Quinnton pursed his lips.

"Oh. Santiago Lopez it's good that you could join us," Principal said.

Quinnton looked over his shoulder, seeing the bad boy standing there. He clenched his jaw as Santiago made his way over them, sitting next to Quinnton. Santiago put his dirty shoes on the principal table, getting himself comfortable, while putting his hands behind his head. A lazy smirk jumped on his mouth. Figgins opened his mouth ready to say something but he quickly shut it, choosing to scowl at them.

"Now, listen closely to what I say because this incident that happened today won't be repeated again. You have two options here. I won't kick you two off this school for constantly getting into fights if you join the glee club," Principal said. "Simple as that."

"No. Fucking. Way," Santiago said, standing up, ready to leave.

"Lopez, sit down." Principal raised his voice.

"Kick me out for all I care. I won't be in that faggot club." Santiago shouted back.

"SIT DOWN!" Principal screamed.

Santiago let out a painfully dramatic whine but listened to the man and sat down.

"Can't we just get suspended?" Quinnton asked hopefully.

He just can't do this for himself, he just can't. Joining that pathetic club would be worse than losing the captain name.

"No. Join Glee club and this incident will be forgotten," Principal said.

"No, I'm getting out of this shit hole with you kicking me out now or other way," Santiago said, crossing his arms.

"You both are getting in the club or you both are getting out off this school," Principal said calmly.

"It's fucking blackmailing." Santiago shouted.

"You can't freaking do it," Quinnton said.

"This school doesn't tolerate violence, it's in your contract. Any use of abuse means that you get out. I'm giving you a choice, boys. You have two days to think about it." The principal said, looking kind of smug with himself.

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II

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The following two days were nerve-wracking, he almost bit his nails off. And here it came the day Quinnton dreaded the most and he just can't ebb the damage he did. He couldn't think straight.

Today Santiago didn't show up, which means he's ditch the school. He ditched the school and now they both will be expelled.

What will he do now?

Quinnton didn't even though about his parents. God, his father will knock his teeth out, rip him apart and feed his meat to wolves.

He needed a plan. He just needed Santiago to help him out, just this once, his pride can take it. He could go to his house, or… or call him. He needed him.

A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of his right eye and his mouth formed a rigid grimace. He needed to do something. Cold sweat glistened on his furrowed brow. He could just say that this was all Santiago's fault. His father would understand, he hated him.

"Pss." He heard and then looked to his right, seeing Santiago leaning against lockers with his arms crossed. "Hi." Santiago offered softly. The bad boy looked at the ground, the top of his sneaker pecking the ground. "We need to talk," he said, the end sounding like a question.

"Lopez." Quinnton exclaimed suddenly realizing he sounded a bit too pleased to see him. Santiago chuckled and Quinnton wanted to hit his own head, seeing that smug expression on Santiago's face, so he quickly masked it with a scowl.

"What are you doing here," Quinnton asked, casting his eyes quickly over Santiago. His dark hair was messy and his eyes looked tired. The tan skin also seemed paler. But there was this something charming about him. Hearing Santiago chuckle made a cold shiver run down his spine, not that creepy one when someone is watching you, but that one that made you smile and shyly look away.

"Standing," Santiago said, his lips stretching idly, showing his well-kept teeth.

He rolled his hazel eyes. Typical Santiago Lopez. Beating around the bush till he suddenly blurts out what he wants.

"Look, about... glee club." Santiago looked around whispering last words.

"You in," he asked. The relief was quick, like a cold water waking him from the dream.

"No," Santiago said.

He straightened his back ready to smash Santiago's skull.

Then why talk about? Why give a little bit of hope if he's going to take it away?

"Easy there, dude. I know you're searching for a pretext to touch me, but first listen to me," Santiago said when Quinnton slowly stalked to him.

Quinnton sniffed displeased. "Dickhead, we're going to be a part of that… thing. Or I'm going to kill you." Quinnton threatened.

Santiago chuckled. "Whoa, I'm so scared," Santiago said, shaking his head.

"Don't test me," Quinnton said, shoving Santiago.

"Ugh, stop touching me. Do you find me so irresistible, that you just can't keep your little faggy hands from me?" Santiago sneered.

"Honey, you have such a great gaydar, maybe want to share something?" Quinnton whispered.

"Talk all you want but we all know in the end who wants a dick in his mouth." Santiago puffed out. "Look, you're starting to bore me to death. I'll join your little rainbow club."

"You will?" Quinnton said, surprised. He furrowed his eyebrows." At what cost?"

"I kind of need your help," Santiago said and rolled his eyes when Quinnton started to chukle. "Stop it, I'm for real. Help me out, I'll help you out."

"Oh my…" Quinnton tried to talk but he couldn't stop laughing.

Santiago groaned, throwing his head back, hitting it on the lockers.

"Say it one more time," Quinnton said, suddenly very aware of how close they were. Not touching, but their personal spaces sparkling warnings at each other. The air struggled to get out, stuck in the middle of his throat. He was so close Quinnton could smell his cologne- spicy, masculine scent- mixed with peppermint and a hint of cigarette smoke.

Ugh… he hated when this happened.

Quickly, he put some distance between them, pretending to look for books inside his locker.

"Fine, I will help you," Quinnton said extra loud, few students looked weirdly at them, waiting for the breaking point.

"Keep your fucking jaw shut, being near you-" Santiago glared at him starting to rant.

"What? Takes your breath away?" Quinn raised his eyebrow, his hazel eyes sparkling, almost looking like green.

"Makes my teeth ache more likely." Santiago snapped, pushing himself from the lockers and starting to walk away.

"Stop walking away," Quinnton said frustrated. Nobody walks away from him and Santiago do that every time. He jogged to him.

"I need your help with few things," Santiago said, not stopping, only adding the speed.

Quinnton cocked his head slightly to left. "With what at least tell me."

"You'll know it when I'll need it," Santiago said, his teeth catching his lower lip, stopping the smirk when Quinnton groaned.

"Stop being a chicken and tell me what you need." Quinnton muttered. There they go again. Santiago will walk along the line of his problem, will wait, till finally he would be brave and tell it.

"Dude, deal with it and fuck off from me, people are staring," Santiago said.

Quinnton rolled his eyes, huffing, but he left Santiago alone.

XXXXXXXX

Quinnton and Santiago Lopez walked together into a choir room. Both slightly uncomfortable seeing everyone's stares at them.

"Umm... Hi." Quinnton lamely breath out feeling embarrassed that those losers made him fell little nervous.

He quickly glanced at everybody's faces, trying to remember their names. Finally, his eyes stopped at Rachel. He glared at little diva with a sinful Cheerios uniform. He's angry because he has to be here and it's all because of her. He knows it's stupid to think like that but someone has to be guilty in this situation.

Mr. Schuester awkwardly cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention.

"Boys, I heard you want to join," Mr. Schuester said, smiling at them like a wolf disguised as the grandmother. Quinnton felt a shiver ran all over his body. He shook his shoulders quickly, trying to shake off that uneasy feeling. Mr. Schuester always reminded him of some pedophile, who likes boys...Jocks...

"We don't," Santiago said, holding his head high as he sniffled. "But we need to."

"Alright," Mr. Schue said, a frown crawling on his lips, it seemed like he was unsure. "But I want you to audition first," he said.

"Can't I just be a tree and stand in the background," Santiago asked.

"If he's going to be a tree, I want to be a cloud," Quinnton said- if Santiago doesn't sing he won't too.

"More likely rainbow." Santiago snickered to his ear.

Quinnton's muscles tensed painfully. His tightened his jaw.

Mr. Schuster laughed, his creepy kind of cheerful laugh. " Sorry guys, but here we sing and dance as a team. No background."

"A team? You have to be kidding us," That gay boy said with his high-pitched voice. His name Kirk or something.

"Kurt is right! Is it just Rachel getting all those solos! And now with a boy toy and Mr. Perfect here we don't have a chance," Mercedes said.

So his name is Kurt. Quinnton knew that much. Quinnton looked at Santiago, raising his eyebrows at amusement.

"I'm only getting solos because I deserve it and I'm not slacking like some of you," Rachel said doing those weird gestures with her hands.

"Guys." Mr. Shuester started to interrupt.

"And I though we are crazy fighting for nothing," Santiago said, chuckling at the end.

Quinnton furrowed his eyebrows, biting inside his cheek.

They aren't fighting for nothing. Because if they would, those sleepless night of thinking about their fights would mean nothing.

They are fighting of being on top. But not really. It's more of who gets down first. Who's right and who's wrong. There always was some competition. Quinnton always wanted to show Santiago that he isn't some pushover. They always had this emotional fights. It was them. Quinnton wouldn't change that.

But somehow they took it to the next level.

It all happened after the week Santiago changed and started to ignore Quinnton. Quinnton was so busy glaring at Santiago as he walked. While Santiago was winking at every girl while checking them out. Quinnton slowly raised the slushy to his lips. And some idiot (it was Finn) smacked his back, wanting his attention, making Quinnton's cup full of slush splay on Santiago, who was walking past him.

It was accident. Really.

Quinnton wanted to say sorry but Santiago pushed him in the lockers, igniting Quinnton's anger.

So next time Quinnton slushed Santiago (without Finn's help), triggering the same reaction from him. Soon other students, mostly jocks, started to imitate Quinnton, but they throw slushies on geeks- school losers.

Like some fucking hero, Santiago, gave a shelter to them under his arm. Those outcast started to walk with their heads high.

They had to do something to stop that nonsense. Quinnton had to show who's the boss is in this school.

And some little part inside him was damaged because of Santiago. He was furious that Santiago could easily throw their friendship like that.

So Quinnton tried to destroy Santiago. Tried to hurt him like he hurt Quinnton.

But he just couldn't hate Santiago. He was his friend.

"So..." Mr. Shuester clapped his hands together, calming everyone and getting their attention again. "Do you want to audition now or later," he asked, smiling creepy to them.

Quinnton and Santiago looked at each other.

"Later," They both said in union.

"Alright then." Mr. Schuster cleared his troth.

Santiago nudged Quinnton's arm. Their eyes met and Quinnton nodded walking to the top seats with Santiago behind him. He sat down first and saw a look Santiago gave Rachel. His blood boiled again and he clenched his jaw, gritting his white teeth. As they say next to each other Quinnton felt almost everyone's stares. He crossed his arms, sulking into his seat and refusing to look at them.

"So, guys, maybe tomorrow is a good time for you to audition," Mr. Schuster asked.

"Football," Quinnton said scowling.

"Of course the king doesn't have a time for us peasants," Santiago commented.

Quinnton turned his head, throwing daggers with his eyes at him. But he was surprised, seeing amusement swirling in those brown eyes and not hatred.

"Well, I can on Friday," Quinnton said.

"Good, good," Mr. Schuster said.

After that Quinnton spaced out, looking around the class. He threw a few glances at Santiago. Okay, not a few. He creepily stared at his face, and when Santiago looked at him he quickly turned his head.

He knew that he was blushing, and when he heard a low chuckle from Santiago he blushed more.

Damn his pale skin.

He tried to mask it with a scowl and a kick to Santiago's shin. Naturally Santiago just had to kick him too.

It was weird. It was almost like… they were friends.

They're enemies, and here, they were acting like friends. No weird tension around them (no, he wasn't talking about a sexual tension- like Sam and Finn liked to tell him. Plus, he isn't a chick- but the air was cleaner and lighter around them. Quinnton could finally relax.)

It was nostalgic, like Quinnton hasn't done a horrible mistake back then. That one that changed everything.

XXXXXXXX

FLASHBACK

XXXXXXXX

Quinnton sighed, seeing the rain through his window. Days like those made him depressed.

"Q." Santiago shouted, shutting his room's door. He turned around, seeing Santiago soaked, his always lifted hair was down, drenched in the water. It dropped on the carpet, making Quinnton huff.

Quinnton raised his eyebrows waiting Santiago to speak. He walked towards his bed sitting down on the end. "Why are you nervous?" Quinnton asked. "Dude." He almost shouted, frustrating at seeing Santiago walking back and forth.

"I'm not nervous." Santiago denied rolling his eyes.

"Then stop pacing," Quinnton said, glaring at him.

"Fine," Santiago muttered walking to him and plopping down near the pillows. Quinnton furrowed his eyebrows, it seemed like Santiago wanted to keep his distance.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" Quinnton asked.

"I slept with Brittany," Santiago said.

Something inside Quinnton broke but back then he thought it was envy-because Santiago was first to lose his virginity.

"Oh," Quinnton muttered.

"And I didn't even enjoy it," Santiago said.

For a second Quinnton though that Santiago is stupid- he had sex with the most popular girl in school, of course, and easiest one. The hardest was always Rachel Berry, that girl didn't let a boy come near five meters' distance.

"Maybe she isn't your type," Quinnton said, biting inside his lip.

"She's everyone's type," Santiago said.

Quinnton almost muttered that she isn't because she defiantly isn't Quinnton's.

"Okay..." Quinnton mumbled not knowing what to say.

"Do you think something is wrong with me?" Santiago asked.

Quinnton wanted to throw some gay joke but he stopped himself. After all, he was going crazy too. Lately Quinnton can't get those image of how it would feel to kiss Santiago out off his head. Maybe, just maybe, a tiny possibility that Santiago feels this same.

And that tiny possibility drove him crazy.

What if?

He quickly crawled to Santiago, grabbing his neck and pushing his lips onto Santiago's.

The final conclusion was that he liked kissing him. No, he was not gay… he just like kissing Santiago better.

The way his tongue was sliding around his, the strong hand wrapped around his elbow. Kissing girls never turned him on like kissing this bad boy.

He wasn't gay… he just liked Santiago.

Everything was going great, Santiago's lips were slightly chapped, but that's alright, he kind of liked the roughness.

But soon, too fucking soon, Quinnton lost the connection with those lips.

Santiago pushed him away, quickly darting to other side of room.

Surprised, he looked over heavy breathing Santiago. Cocking his head to side he opened his mouth to say something, but words were hard to find as his mind was still foggy.

"I'm not a faggot you fucking idiot," Santiago growled.

Still dazed Quinnton blinked few times. "I..." Quinnton was so lost, one second his lips were touching his, next his lips only though the cold air.

"I don't know what you got in your fucking head but I'm not one of your kind." Santiago shouted, his face darker, eyes cloudy. Quinnton would say with lust but he could easily mistake it to anger. His eyes were so dark, Quinnton was slowly losing himself.

"One of my kind?" Quinnton asked, feeling irritation creeping over him. One of his kind? It felt like Quinnton was some other spice, he felt offended.

"Yeah, I'm not some fag," Santiago said, scowl painting his face.

"What? I'm not gay," Quinnton said, his hazel eyes throwing daggers at Santiago. He may be, he may be not, he fucking don't know it. Who the fuck is Santiago to label him.

"Are you fucking idiot? You freaking kissed me you moron," Santiago said.

"And you fucking kissed me back!" Quinnton shouted. Because he still can feel the taste of Santiago.

"That was a mistake," Santiago said, putting his hands on his hips trying to appear bigger, stronger.

"Fucking jerk," Quinnton growled, crawling off the bed.

"Stay over there or I'm going to kick your ass, dickhead." Santiago shouted, pointing his finger at him.

"What? Scared that you're going to kiss me again?" Quinnton teased. He couldn't help himself the rejection he was feeling was slowly killing him. It was a tiny possibility, but it was false.

"Idiot, you were the one kissing me," Santiago said.

"And you shoved your tongue into my mouth," Quinnton said, smirking when he took step forward and saw Santiago stiffen.

"You're imagining things," Santiago said stubbornly, stepping back.

"I'm not gay," Santiago said as Quinnton took few steps forward. It was like some dance- step forward, step back. No touch, no smile. Just eyes, those traitors, sparkling like crazy.

"With you so often declaring who you're not I'm starting to believe that you are," Quinnton said.

"I'm not..." Santiago muttered, looking away.

"And I thought I like to denial things," Quinnton said, standing so close to Santiago seeing all the little details of his face. And that smell- that one which filled Quinnton's nostrils; which made his head spin; which made the lust flow through him

He was so close to kiss him, but he quickly grabbed the jock's collar and slammed his body to the wall.

"If you tell this to someone I'm going to fucking kill you." Quinnton hissed, pushing his elbow into Santiago's chest. Santiago silently looked at him. He didn't say anything, just pushed him away and quickly sprinted through the door, leaving Quinnton with his killer thoughts.

XXXXXXXX

III

XXXXXXXX

It was almost beautiful day, the sky was still grey, but the biting cold wasn't so fierce. He was putting away his books into his locker, thinking about the glee club.

It was fun, surprisingly so. Maybe it was only fun because Santiago was there. A one man show Quinnton would call it- Santiago pranked his fellows; he sang loudly when Rachel was demonstrating her skills, getting on the little diva's nerves, receiving more than one diva tantrum; he made fun of everyone.

Quinnton just wanted to smile. It was a nice feeling. But he'll not because that would look creepy and he isn't some giddy girl.

He felt a heavy tap on his shoulder, which he ignored, He knew it was Santiago. Santiago was the only one stupid enough to pet a dragon. He felt a harder slap that made his muscles tense.

"Turn around or I'm gonna hump your leg." Santiago threatened.

"It would be a pleasure." Quinnton shot back. They both felt silent for a moment.

"Some fetish you want to share?" Saniago said.

Quinnton turned around, seeing him with a huge smirk. "You the one who's always talking about humping legs. Want to share it with school?"

"Oh fuck you, or I'll go all Mike Tyson on you." Santiago snapped.

"Another thing you want to share?" Quinnton said, leaning closer to him.

Santiago shook his head. He took a few steps back, scratching his neck few time.

"So, hon, what's up?" Quinnton said, rising his eyebrows, ignoring the uncomfortable look on Santiago's face.

Santiago quickly looked around. "Haha." Santiago sneered at him. "You have to help me out. Because you're smart and all that shit."

"What classes are you failing?" Quinnton said, his stare was black.

"I need help in math... "Santiago shuffled his sneaker into the ground, keeping his head down.

"But you're good at math." Quinnton said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I had some better things to do with my life then be in class, okay?" Santiago went all defensive.

"Yeah, of course, screwing all those girls." Quinnton said, threw his hands up. His blood boiling. It was Santiago's and only his fault that he put his school life down and replaced it with social." What the fuck happened to you?" Quinnton said.

Santiago looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

What does he mean? Santiago started to act like some playboy founder. Vanishing from classes to get his dick wet. He doesn't smell the same or have the same haircut, sure, people can change their appearance, but now he looked like some womanizer- he looked like Puck without that stupid Mohawk.

"You're not the boy you used to be." Quinnton said." You actually put your education in the last place. I never though you're going to be so stupid to do that. But I guess that what I needed to expect. Being a jerk, stealing away someone's girlfriend. Yup, you done your transformation to being a totally asshole."

Quinnton saw how Santiago gritted his teeth.

Quinnton was ready to throw his body into fighting position.

"Whatever." Santiago said, looking away.

Quinnton softened his face features. See, this not his Santiago. Not like his his Santiago... not his friend Santiago anymore. The old Santiago would fight him.

"We had a deal," Santiago said, looking at him expectantly.

Quinnton sighed. If Santiago doesn't want to talk then he won't force him. "Fine." Quinnton shrugged. "I think I can find some time after practice."

"Of course you will." Santiago smirked cockily at him.

That arrogant little shit!

But it's true. All his life is spinning around the school. Santiago and Puck were only true friends he ever had. Maybe Sam and Finn, just a little bit.

Noah took Santiago's side. Sam and Finn were being girls, whining about those two.

Now he has the glee club. But they are only there to entertain him. But he could be there himself. Him and only him- Quinnton- a boy that likes to read and likes to run, a boy that likes to sing. There wasn't a pressure to him to be perfect.

Not that he would ever say that, but those dorks goofing around and dancing made him a little happier. Being part of something like family made him feel less lonely.

He didn't felt the need to be angry or defensive, he didn't felt that need to strangle everyone anymore.

But Quinnton still didn't let his guard down. He's still that lonely boy surrounded by people.

"Whatever." Quinnton said.

And that was it. The awkward silent surrounded them. Does he say something more? Ask maybe how's Santiago day is going?

"So yeah... Come to mine, whenever you'll have time," Santiago said, scratching behind his neck.

Quinnton nodded standing still.

Santiago opened his mouth to say something. But he didn't. He shook his head walking backwards. When Santiago turned around his body collided with other. "Watch where you are going,idiot." Santiago snapped at David Karofsky

The bulky boy glared at him with a sneer gracing his lips. "Fuck off, Lopez."

It was kind of fun seeing them glaring at each other. David was bigger than Santiago, heavier and stronger. But Santiago relied on his instincts, he was faster and more flexible.

Another time Quinnton would leave it be. He would turn his back and ignore that feeling his chest nagging for him to step up and do something for Santiago. Because Santiago is a big boy- he's a man that can defend himself. Plus, he's a fucking idiot that thinks he can beat everyone, he needed to be taken a peg or two down.

Santiago and Karofsky always hated each other. David was always weird around him. Creeping on him, giving him a cold shoulder, and shoving him away. It was always hard to keep them away from each other.

"Hey, Karofsky, back off," said Quinnton.

David looked surprised. The cruel smile danced its way to David's lips. He held his hands up in surrender.

"As you say, captain," David said in a such mocking way that Quinnton suddenly wanted to pull out all of his teeth.

David looked last time at Santiago, he mockingly saluted Quinnton, before walking past him.

David was a snake, he always had some plan. He may be stupid but he fought his way to top.

Santiago looked at Quinnton. And his stupid heart started to beat merciless fast in his ribcage. Quinnton took a shaky breath. Santiago looked at him so long that Quinnton's hands started to get wet from the sweat. Finally, Santiago turned around and walked away.

What the hell was that?

XXXXXXXX

Quinnton tutored Santiago when he found free time. He helped him and Santiago finally started to make efforts. After all those months being idle slowly and steady Santiago brains started to work again. Santiago always had ability to learn fast, after awhile he barely needed him.

And Quinnton almost went crazy. Santiago often would sit close to him and Quinnton had to clench the fabric of his jeans- so he wouldn't start reaching for Santiago's skin.

Quinnton's stupid crush for Santiago was making him a fool. He thought he was strong, but, man, what a fool he was. It felt he was falling in love.

And what killed him the most was Rachel. He felt jealous because his ex-girlfriend had something he didn't.

He couldn't shake away that feeling like there's something between them. It may be the way Santiago looks at her or the way Rachel's smile is bigger when she sees him.

He saw how they looked at each other. He felt how much air shifted between them. His ego was hurt too-his girlfriend left him for a boy he had crush on.

Yes, a crush. He was a man enough to admit it loudly. Well, loudly in his mind.

The next awful thing was that weather got worst, every day it was colder and colder.

It changed like Quinnton's moods. It changed from tolerable to killing everybody who looked at him weirdly. Plus, his left eye started to twitch too much.

It was officially a Christmas break.

He puffed, trying to walk home faster. His feet getting wetter and colder. His gloved fingers were frozen in this ridiculous cold.

He hated this, he hated that his car didn't turn on this morning and he was too late to fix it, making him almost late to school.

Santiago's insane joy for Christmas made him annoying. All that Santiago asked was what present he could give to Rachel and his family.

"Hey, Q." He heard Santiago's voice behind him.

His heartbeat increased, hearing his smooth voice. He turned around walking backwards, seeing Santiago making his way towards him.

"Hi." Quinnton muttered. He smiled, seeing Santiago with a winter hat on his head, decorated with few deers on it.

"I though Mr. Perfect had a car? I remember someone bragging about it." Santiago chuckled.

Quinnton rolled his eyes. He didn't have a chance to talk with Santiago today, maybe because everywhere he looked he was with Rachel. And going near her, seeing her being all over Santiago was just big NO.

"My baby's got a little cold." Quinnton said, again turning around and walked step by step with Santiago.

"Want to come over tomorrow?" Santiago said. "We could play some video games. I could beat you like always."

"Why not, hon." Quinnton teased him.

He missed this, talking freely with Santiago.

"Stop calling me that," Santiago said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Talking about the school was a safe topic to them so soon they started to talk about classes they didn't like.

Quinnton's heart ached when they walked closer to Santiago's house, meaning he has to leave him for now.

"See you later," Santiago said, nodding his head and turned to his house.

Quinnton watched as Santiago walked away. Maybe they are only frenemies but it's enough for Quinnton. It's enough for now.

"Santiago." Quinnton called.

Santiago turned around glancing at him. But Quinnton didn't know what to say. Is it to say that he's glad that they are friends again? Or that they aren't at least enemies?

"You're an idiot." Those words slipped out easily from Quinnton's mouth.

Santiago chuckled but didn't say anything for few seconds. "That made sense." Santiago teased.

Quinnton rolled his eyes starting to walk away.

XXXXXXXX

The next day Quinnton walked to Santiago's house with a new energy. He smiled a lot and made goofy dance movies mimicking Michael Jackson inside his room. His mother, Judy, raised a suspicion eyebrow, a small smile walking on her lips. It was a good start of the day.

Quinnton knocked few times on the wooden door. He suddenly felt nervous, waiting to see who will open the door. Quinnton chewed the inside of his cheek, making a small wound in the flesh.

"Hey," Quinnton said, when Santiago opened the door.

The bad boy looked at him, his eyes were wide like deer's in a highway and Quinnton was confused why the hell Santiago is startled. "Hey." Santiago finally relaxed his stiff posture. His scowl was replaced with a smirk.

Quinnton quirked his eyebrow, waiting for him to speak and let him in.

The thing is that they still weren't friends. Yes, they talk sometimes, tease each other (in not a kind of way Quinnton wants to) they seem like friends. But the problem is that they aren't. There still comes an awkward silent between them. Mostly because Quinnton feels like Santiago isn't the same boy he was. He isn't that goofball anymore who got on Quinnton's nerves with his mischief plans. He's more aggressive with the toughest, largest and highest walls around him.

"So..." Quinnton scratched behind his ear, continuing to bit inside his cheek.

"Sooo..." Santiago awkwardly looked around.

"Are you going to let me in or..." Quinnton said.

Santiago shook his head opening the door wider for him.

He stepped in through it and took his jacket off, handing it to Santiago and then started getting his snowy wet boots off.

"Quinnton." That excited voice immediately drew his attention.

He smiled seeing Santiago's little sister standing there. The girl grinned at him. Quinnton didn't got his other shoe off before she sprinted to him. He chuckled as he easily caught her, the girl squealed into his neck.

"Whoa, kiddo, you grow up so fast," said Quinnton.

"What's going on?" Maribel, Santiago's mom, walked towards them. She smiled at Quinnton. "I though you forgot about us," she said dramatically.

He laughed shaking his head. "That's impossible." Quinnton said.

Santiago groaned. "Oh my god." He whined.

"Santiago!" Maribel scolded him. "Quinnton, are you going to stay for the dinner?"

Sofía pouted at him, giving her best puppy-dog's eyes.

Quinnton couldn't say no to this kid.

"Fine." He sighed.

Sofía smiled brightly, hugging his neck tighter.

"Just release him," Santiago said, trying to rip Sofía off Quinnton.

She released Quinnton's neck and Santiago put her on the ground.

"Want to help me with a dinner?" Maribel asked Sofía.

The girl eagerly nodded her head walking away with her mother.

Quinnton finally could take his other shoe off. He smiled, following Santiago to his room.

Santiago's room was almost the same, only more darker things was thrown there and there.

"Mi casa es tu casa," Santiago said, walking to his bed and getting on his knees.

"Looking good on the ground, Lopez." Quinnton sniggered behind him.

"Imagine my fist in your face, it'd look better." He didn't miss the beat. He picked a box with the games in it. "Sorry, I don't have anything new."

Quinnton plopped on his bed, inhaling through his nose, Santiago's sweet scent filling his nose. "You know that's fine."

He missed this room.

Quinnton's father never let him do anything to his room. No posters, no photos, just things he needed most.

Finally, they found a game they wanted to play. It was easy to chose, they both liked sport- it was their life after all. Quinnton laughed at the poor excuses Santiago threw at him and from the curses he received every time Quinnton's players made a goal.

"That's cheating." Quinnton whined when Santiago started messing with his controller. He laughed, trying to push Santiago away.

"Fuck you." Santiago grunt out when Quinnton made a goal again. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." Santiago pursed his lips, looking like a little kid.

Quinnton raised his eyebrows and Santiago sneered at him.

And the moment came as they keep looking at each other eyes. The air changed. The sound disappeared.

What the fuck?

Quinnton screamed in his head. Why can't everything just be normal between them?

"I'm going to my grandparents for a break," Santiago said, breaking the silence. "And I though...I want to give you something," Santiago said, he rolled off the bed and walked to his drawer. He picked something and threw it at him.

Still dazed Quinnton hardly caught it.

The watch was in his palms. All from steel, looking expensive.

Quinnton looked at Santiago. He knows that Santiago really doesn't have much. His parents struggling to make ends meet.

"Santiago." His name fell out from Quinnton's lips in the form of whisper.

"Don't go all dramatic on me, okay?" Santiago said." I had this for ages. I don't like it. You like shits like that so I though I'll give it to you because you want that or not you're my friend."

"I'm going to give you a sweater for Christmas, hon." Quinnton promised putting the watch on his left wrist.

"Listen here, Mr. Perfect, give that to me and I'm burning your eyebrows off." Santiago threaten walking back to bed.

The urge to hug Santiago was too much. He lifted his arm to embrace the bad boy.

"Ow." Quinnton hit Santiago in the last second.

Quinnton smiled at Santiago. "Thank you."

XXXXXXXX

To get something for Sanitago was actually harder then he though. What people even give each other besides sweaters and socks, deodorant and perfume? If Santiago was a girl it would be way easier, he could, just, buy a big teddy bear, some necklace and perfumes. But now he was lost.

He saw a boy diva in the supermarket. Maybe he could help but before he could ask Kurt looked at him and smiled.

"Hey, Quinnton." Kurt said walking to him. Quinnton smiled softy at him. "What are you doing on New Year's Eve?"

"Are you making a move on me?" Quinnton joked, raising his eyebrows.

Kurt stopped dead in his tracks. "You think I'm so sloppy with my game?" Kurt put his hands on his hips. "Don't take any offence, Mr. Perfect, but not everybody wants you."

Quinnton rolled his eyes. "Sure thing, heartbreaker." Quinnton mocked him, calling his bluff and ruffled his brown hair.

Kurt squeaked, pushing his hand away. "Do you want to die?" Kurt said, glaring at him. Quinnton chuckled, but didn't said anything. "So are you free? Cause I'm going to have a party in my uncle's house. Everyone from the glee club should be there. Plus, some friend will come too. You could invite your friends too."

"Is there going to be some alcohol?" Quinnton asked.

Kurt nodded his head.

"I'm in. But first, I need your help."

XXXXXXXX

New year party

The party wasn't boring. He laughed, seeing Tina blush like a crazy when Mike danced around her. Kurt and Mercedes were laughing, pointing at people and judging how they dressed- it was entertaining. But then he saw Santiago's arm around Rachel's waist and his big smile. A pang of jealousy hit him. He wanted that with Santiago. But nooo... Santiago didn't like him, he was straight.

So Quinnton was all alone, drinking away his pain.

"Quinnton." Puck called. Quinnton looked at him. "What's up with you?" said Noah.

"Nothing," he said, looking down at the ground. He toyed with the label of a bear he was drinking, scratching the paper away.

"There are so many beautiful chicks out here, and you're here all alone!" Puck practically shouted over the loud music.

"So...?" Quinnton raised his eyebrow, puffing away his hair from his eyes. He put the bottle down, staring at it for a second.

"So...? This is a party, bro, you should make a move on them," Puck said. "Maybe you'll be lucky and get a girl to your bed. Or maybe you'll be a good wingman and help your friend get a girl to his bed."

Quinnton rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, really, what's up?" Noah said.

Is Quinnton gay or not? This doesn't leave his mind alone. He knows he likes Santiago. So does that makes him gay? Quinnton had few girls but they didn't make him feel like Santiago. That may sound cliché, but it's true. Those girls didn't turn him on. Of course, he found them attractive and beautiful. He liked to watch them, but he wasn't leering at them. When his hand finds his dick, he doesn't imagine girls while he's stroking his length.

Santiago is on his mind Twenty-four seven. When he showers, when he eats, when he watches television, when he sleeps. His dreams, fantasies, everything's spinning around Santiago.

Damn, he sounds like a hormones full girl.

But is he, or is he not? Maybe he's only attractive to Santiago. Maybe Santiago is a soulmate to him and he's stuck loving him forever.

How pathetic would that be?

He knew he can't say this to his parents. He didn't exactly have close relatives. And friends? Not so much either.

"Puck." Quinnton called him.

This is it. He's going to finally admit.

"Uh?" Noah looked at him, waiting for him to speak.

Quinnton grabbed Noah's arm. He tugged it until Noah finally started to follow him. "Umm... Quinnton?"

"I have to tell you something," Quinnton said, walking towards some door.

His shaky hand reached a door handle and he turned it down. At least it was a bedroom and not a laundry room. Quinnton quickly turned the lights on.

He bit inside his cheek.

When Noah walked in, he quickly shut the door and ran his fingers through the dark patch of his hair.

Quinnton's eyes ran around room. They found a glass door, leading to a balcony, and he looked through them.

"You're starting to give me creeps, dude, what's up?" Puck said, lazily plopping down on the bed.

The knob in Quinnton's throat made it harder to speak and his mind went crazy, telling him it was a bad idea.

" I think I'm gay." Quinnton blurt out and looked at Noah, but he just looked at him with a blank stare. "Puck, I think I'm gay." He said a little louder, waiting for the blow.

"And… I'm straight." Puck said sounding bored already.

"You aren't going to freak out?" Quinnton asked, starting to feel relief.

"Dude, everybody knows you're gay." Noah said, and Quinnton looked at him, fear filling his eyes. "I was joking." Puck said. Quinnton stalked closer to him. "OW!" Puck whined, when Quinnton hit his shoulder.

"Jerk." Quinnton breathed out finally.

"That was funny." Puck laughed to himself.

"Fuck you." Quinnton muttered.

And Noah's smile turned into a devilish one. "I think Lopez is more your type." Noah said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Quinnton was ready to strangle Puck but then his words filled his brain. "What do you mean Lopez?" He squeaked, his eyes darting anywhere but Noah.

"Oh, c'mon, don't tell me you don't have a boner for him." Noah folded his arms over his chest. " You two have too much sexual tension to ignore it."

"Did Santiago ever told you anything?" Quinnton asked.

"He tells me everything." Noah said.

Quinnton eyes darted to other objects, he squinted his eyes, looking at a lamp on the nightstand. "Do you know why we were fighting?"

"He wanted to be a captain and had a plan. You kicked him out. Everybody knows that." Puck said.

"But there's more." Quinnton said.

"More what? Is it going to ruin the party? I'm so close to charming my Jewish Princess." Puck pouted.

"Well, it's not going to ruin your fun, more likely mine." Quinnton said.

"Is it really important? It's normal to fight with your friends… boner friends in your situation… You fought, you got lovely dovely, and you'll fight again. It's what people do. Stop overthinking. Now were are at a party and I'm starting to get sober. We should talk later. Now it's a party time." Noah said, standing up from the bed.

"Noah," Quinnton said.

"Quinnton, it's a party! Go drink some shit, dance with some sluts and go fuck some boy. Forget everything. We can talk tomorrow." Puck patted his shoulder, going through the door.

"Idiot." Quinnton muttered. He brought his hands to his eyes, rubbing the heels of his palms to them, softly sighing.

Quinnton needed cold air. The alcohol was making his head spin and his mind run too fast for him to concentrate. He walked away from the horny teenagers, away from his stupid life. He walked through the glass door.

Kurt's uncle was a rich bastard.

The first time he stepped into the apartment his jaw hit the floor. The huge apartment decorated in such a modern way.

But when he slid the door to the side. His breath hitched, the lights of street lamps dancing in the night blinded gim.

He could see all town from here.

Okay, he couldn't.

But half of it he saw, and it was so freaking... beautiful. If only he knew where the fuck was his phone, he would have taken a selfie.

The cold air touched his body, making goosebumps appear on his skin. Stupid half sleeves shirt he was wearing today. He knew it was a fucking winter, but after few drinks his skin started to burn.

He felt weird- hot, but at the same time cold.

He was aware of him even before the door was opened. It made Quinnton tense. Santiago's heavy boots were loudly, but at the same time the town was suppressing it.

"Quinnton." He heard a soft mutter.

He turned around, of course he did, he couldn't ignore him, as much as he wanted. Santiago was standing there, with two bottles of beer in his hands. The bad boy grinned lopsided at him, his drunk eyes shining with mirth. Santiago held the bottle for him.

Quinnton chewed the inside of his cheek, looking from the bottle to the brown eyes. He sighed, letting out a shaky breath. Quinnton reached for it, his freezing hands trembling. He shot a small smile at Santiago, nodding his head in appreciation.

"What are you doing out here?" Santiago muttered. "I mean, all alone. And cold, freezing your nuts doesn't seem like fun." Santiago said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Enjoying the view." Quinnton said, turning around again.

"Yeah, it's nice," Santiago said. "That strip club's lights really makes this place unique." Santiago chuckled, taking few small steps towards him, into his personal space. Santiago put his elbows on the railing, bending as his eyes followed few cars, driving down there.

Quinnton looked at the side of his face, still being silent. Santiago lifted the bottle to his lips and Quinnton couldn't help himself. He licked his lips in trance. He stared at them, his crazy drunk mind bringing the feeling of how they felt sliding between his. He shivered, thinking how he could take a step, wrap his hands around Santiago's neck and bring his face closer to his, pushing his lips towards Santiago's.

Ah, but that was a fantasy. Just his mind playing with him. Just a dream to show what he'll never have.

"What the hell you were drinking," Quinnton asked, then he chuckled. "You're smashed."

"Half smashed. There's a long way to go." Santiago slurred. "Rachel mixed something. Said it tastes like pink- it doesn't."

"How are you?" Quinnton said, trying to distract himself with reading the label.

"Good." Santiago said.

Quinnton raised his eyebrows.

"Bad. A shittiest year of my life." Santiago admitted.

Quinnton opened his lips, ready to ask why, but Santiago cut him. "How are you?" Santiago said.

Quinnton licked his lips, swallowing, his teeth catching the flesh of his cheek. "Good," he finally said.

Santiago looked at him, squinting his eyes. "Bullshit" The boy smirked.

Quinnton huffed. "Bad. A shittiest year of my life." Quinnton repeated Santiago's words.

The corners of Santiago's lips turning up but his eyes flashing with sadness. "Why so?"

"Because of the mistakes." Quinnton looked forward, not meeting Santiago's eyes.

He saw from the corners of his eyes Santiago moving, but when he looked at him, he was startled, seeing him so close. He took a big breath, trying to set his face into indifferent mask.

His stupid heart started to march in his chest, making the blood rush to his cheeks and make his body warm.

He clenched his jaw. Was Santiago playing with him? He knew about Quinnton's feels for him.

So why do that? Why drive him crazy?

But he was weak, too weak to question it. His brains were the worst enemy, betrayling thing, making him lean his body closer to Santiago.

"Quinnton." Santiago muttered.

Quinnton shook his head, clearing the fog from his mind.

His own body was a traitor.

Without thinking, he lifted his hand. He wanted to reach and touch him but in the last moment he stopped himself. What the hell was he thinking?

Santiago looked at the sky. "Fuck this." Santiago angrily snapped.

Quinnton furrowed his eyebrows, maybe Santiago was going mad?

"If you're going to try and kick my ass, I'll kick yours first," Santiago said.

Quinnton just raised his eyebrows. "Wha-...Mmm..." The lips on his shut him up.

He gasped, feeling electricity running down his body, filling every, fucking, cell inside him.

What an idiot he would be not to welcome Santiago's lips?

It was slow, slightly sloppy but it drove his mind insane. It seemed the world stopped spinning but his stupid mind ran a marathon.

Quinnton put his hand behind Santiago's neck.

The taste was so bittersweet. His body wanted more. But to him- to his mind it was enough.

He licked Santiago lower lip, desperately asking for permission. When Santiago parted his lips, he didn't waste a second, shoving his tongue inside the bad boy's mouth.

His other hand automatically clutching Santiago's cheek. He traced Santiago's face with his thumb, line by line mapping his skin.

Lungs started asking for air.

Stupid, stupid, stupid lungs.

If he could, Qiunnton would kiss Santiago's lips all the time- every second, every hour, night and day.

It was the best feeling.

As they parted, Quinnton tried not to show the effect Santiago had on him. He stepped away from him, his mind still dizzy. He bit his cheek, looking for regret in Santiago's eyes.

Surprised. That what he felt, when he didn't find any regret nor disgust. Not like the first time. Santiago eyes were filled with some unknown language Quinnton couldn't understand. He remembered how rage looked in them, how happiness and sadness looked inside them, but this, this was something new.

"What was that?" Quinnton said.

It confused him.

Santiago has kissed him back once, then he acted like an ass. Here he kissed him again and Quinnton didn't know what was coming next.

He was patiently waiting for a hit. For something. But Santiago just looked at him-with that look- filled with something that Quinnton didn't understand.

"Nothing." Santiago shook his head.

Quinnton clenched his fist. Suddenly, he hit Santiago's chest with his knuckles. "Fuck you." Quinnton said because he didn't know what else to say.

That mind game was so fucking annoying. He liked him he should tell him, he hated him he should tell him. Why play some stupid game they both will lose?

"Tell me- what the fuck was that." Quinnton demanded.

Santiago hissed through his teeth, rubbing his chest over the sweater. That one sweater Quinnton gave him as a Christmas present. And he almost burned his eyebrows off as he promised, but it was warm and soft, and Santiago liked the color. Also, he was forgiven because he brought him a game on a console. "Nothing." Santiago's black eyebrows were furrowed.

"You know what? I don't get you. Why the fuck did you do that? I like you, you know that. So why the fuck you have to do this to me?" Quinnton raised his voice. "Is this a fucking gam-" Again Santiago shut him the hell up by planting a kiss on his lips.

"I'm so fucking drunk." Santiago laughed, his breath hitting Quinnton's lips, making them tingle.

That made Quinnton back off, the anger filled his mind as he saw red. "FUCK YOU!" Quinnton shouted. "Fuck you." He said his voice was strong, not cracking in the middle. He turned around, walking away.

He's going to do anything to forget Santiago. Fuck him, if he thinks he can play with him.

Fuck. Him.

Quinnton lazily dropped on the couch, watching people dance and chat. Soon, he felt someone sitting down next to him. He idly lifted his head, seeing a sunshine next to him. Blonde hair beauty smiled at him and Quinnton smiled sadly back at her.

"Dance with me," Brittany said.

Quinnton shook his head. She pouted and he laughed. She looked like some kid, so innocent, so beautiful, so funny. She wrapped her slim fingers around his wrist standing up and tugging him.

He was going to do what Puck had said. He was going to drink his ass off, then he was going to dance till he couldn't feel his legs, and then he was going to find someone to fuck.

He wrapped his arms around Brittany's waist, flushing their bodies together.

It was the last year he was in love with Santiago. Next year he's going to forget him for real this time.

Fuck him.

He'll flex those memories into a tiny ball and will tuck it inside his heart, between the strong walls.

XXXXXXXX

IV

XXXXXXXX

It was nice- fun, having Brittany in his arms. He felt normal. He laughed a lot. Maybe it was because of alcohol or maybe it was because Brittany was swirling in his arms, singing to every song. She moved with grace, elegance and charm. It was beautiful to watch and it was distracting.

"I love this song," she said into his ear, her hot breath enveloped his ear, making his skin tingly. Her tongue darted out, licking the shell. It wasn't gross, it was sexy, but the problem was that it didn't made him feel good. It was exciting and amusing but not arousing. "I'd love more to fuck you to this song." She whispered. She gracing her nose around the outline of his jaw.

"How about few more dances and I'll fuck you so hard you'll forget your name?" He smirked. He could do that. He knew how to movie in bed and how to bring pleasure to the woman. Listen- and you'll be the god. Plus, he wasn't completely smashed. Few drinks did nothing to his sexual life.

"You promise a lot," she said, turning around and wriggling her ass into his crotch. "I can't wait, you know? You're the only one jock left. Finally, I'd be able to check you out from my list."

"You have a list?" He asked.

Why isn't he surprised?

"Yeah." She muttered, laughing, letting him spin her and flush their bodies together.

"Tell me who else is on the list. Maybe I could help," he said, nipping her ear, making her wiggle, trying to break free, and giggle.

"Well there's obvious you- mister untouchable; there was Mike, but then I understood I can't break the Asian union. Hmm… there's Rachel on the list too."

He let out an inaudible sigh. There was no surprise that Rachel was on the list. She had her way, something about her screamed prude, good girl. That one girl when you were done with her you wanted to go to your friends, receive excited pats on the shoulder and loud high fives.

"Was Rachel good in bed," Brittany asked, she cocked her head to side. He imagined her browns furrowed as she got her thinking face.

For a moment she stopped grinding into him. "She looks like she'd be fun. Wild and angry. Like an angry little dwarf."

He chuckled. "Don't underestimate her, she may be little but she uses it. A lot. The way to her bed is through romance."

"Really? Ah, man, too much job."

He spun her again, ignoring the fast beat. They were face to face. "You should go for her," he said.

She looked confused. "Don't you want her back?"

Did he want her back? No, not really. It was the society that wanted them together. Maybe in other life if they will meet, without a pressure they could be.

"We screamed at each other. Hated each other. She knew me, even if I hate that, she knows me. Like I know her. Do I really want her back as a girlfriend? No. But I wouldn't refuse her friendship," he said.

"Because you're scared how much dirt she has on you," Brittany asked, playful poking his cheek.

"Don't forget I also have dirt on her." He playful, gently dug his finger into her side, making her squeal. "So who's next on your list?"

"Well, there was Tina, but Mike." She huffed annoyed. "Santiago is there because I like him. He was a great lover. Don't want to cross him out just yet."

He froze, muscles squeezing painfully.

"But I won't sleep with him," she said, biting her lower lip. "I want, but I won't."

He cleared his throat, trying to relax.

No more reaction like this. He won't be this stupid boy chasing invisible kites.

"Why won't you sleep with him," he asked, because he's an idiot, a fucking masochist.

"Because you two have this force, no one should touch it, no one should be in its way," she said, her tone light, like she was talking about Lucky Charms.

"I'm not gay." He hissed, glaring at her.

The air suddenly burned his skin. It made him agitated. Goosebumps appeared on his skin under his clothes. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Not that shiver that made him happy, that made him smile, but that one that made him search for a light.

He may be gay. But it's his secret to keep and no one to tell.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying you two have something good. Something that people likes to describe in songs and books. Something that is destined by the faith." Her eyes were crystal clear, a light that he needed so much. Her eyes made him believe that what she said was truth.

But he was stubborn, he will fight this because it hurts being rejected.

It hurts to fall in love.

"Do you really believe in faith," he asked.

His beliefs were always founded on faith. He always believed bigger forces, invisible forces.

His mother and father always found peace in faith, in God.

"Yes I do." Brittany nodded eagerly. "And I think it's knocking on your doors." She lifted her head to left, directing him to look.

Santiago.

He was looking at them. His hands in his pocket. A guarded look on his face. He walked closer to them.

Fifteen steps, Quinnton counted them all, and Santiago was here, near them.

"That's my cue to leave. Boys, play nice." She shook her finger to Santiago.

"Hi," Santiago said. Almost like blushing, he put his hand to his cheek. "Can we talk?"

Can they talk? Without lies and kisses? Without punches and curses?

"We can try." He answered.

Santiago smiled, not that charming grin, showing his dimples; not that smirk as mischief plan was on his mind; but that simple thankful smile like he couldn't ask for more.

"Let's go for a walk." Quinnton offered.

He needed clean air. That musty hot air was clogging his brain from thinking.

XXXXXXXX

They were under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under starts so bright, igniting the hearts of nature's child.

But they didn't lift their heads to look at it.

Their stare was stuck on the dirty snow, on their soaked shoes, and wet pants' ends.

"What did you wanted to talk about?" Quinnton said, because he was brave. For now, at least.

"I wanted to talk about us," he said, it sounded too much like a question.

"There is no us, Santiago." Quinnton snapped. He knew this talk. Santiago's going to say that they are going nowhere and they should stop with this pathetic game to save their friendship.

And he'd be right.

Because it was delusion and it was killing them both.

And he'd be right to say that they're not going anywhere because Quinnton just promised himself to stop this nonsense.

"Isn't there?" Santiago huffed. "You're my best friend, of course there's us. Santiago and Quinnton. There were always us."

"Do you really want to stay friends? Because I can't have you and at the same time not. Does it even make sense?" Quinnton frowned.

Santiago puffed loudly through his nose. "I've be telling you that I want to stay friends, get through your thick, brainless mind."

"But not more?" Quinnton dared to ask.

"I can't just walk around school, or this stupid town, with your clammy hand in mine," Santiago said, his voice low, but loud and clear, deep and soft. It wasn't a shout from the rooftops. It was soothing wave calming Quinnton's soul.

He wasn't shot down. It was a possibility. Tiny possibility, but still a one.

"My hands aren't wet," Quinnton exclaimed, brows furrowed and a pout threating to form.

"That's not a point." Santiago huffed, stopping walking. "I can't be with you. I can't date you."

"I'm not asking you that. I never asked you for that." Quinnton crossed his arms over his broad chest.

"Then what do you want from me?" Santiago threw his hands up with a defeated expression. "If not a relationship then what? A friendship? Then don't mess that up again."

What did he want? He obviously didn't want to proudly hold Santiago's hand. Not because he didn't know where the hell he put his hands but simply because he wasn't ready to take that step.

But he did want something. At least the knowledge that they can be something more.

What would his mother think? Her precious little son, she was so proud, didn't felt attraction to the future wives she chose for him.

What would his father think? His son, the only child, the only son, whom he played sports and patted his shoulders. Whom he talked about ladies.

And what would his team think? They would bully him to death.

"Let's just be ourselves. I'm not asking for a relationship or your love. I just want to talk with you and see where this will go." It was true. He didn't need a relationship. He wanted to know him. He didn't need this game they were playing of cat and mouse.

"I'm not gay, Q." Santiago said, forcing his hands into pockets.

"I don't care," he said, then paused and scratched his nose. "Well I do, kind of, because I want you to feel attractive to me because I feel attractive to you."

"Feelings are for losers, Q." Santiago sighed.

Quinnton smiled-grinned even. Finally, it seemed Santiago was melting. "Well then, call me a loser."

"I call you that from the day I met you."

They both laughed.

"This won't turn into a declaration of love," Santiago asked. Shyly looking at the ground.

"I barely like you most of the time." Quinnton cocked his head to side.

"But you do like me after all." Santiago looked at him, searching for an answer inside his eyes.

"I do," Quinnton said softly.

Santiago threw his head back. He sighed painfully. "If we do this- this thing, however you want to call it- it has to be a secret."

Quinnton though for a second. "I can do that, but I refuse not to acknowledge you as a friend."

"Okay, yeah, that's fine. So do we hug? Or do we…" Santiago awkwardly lifted his arms.

"Or do we kiss?" Quinnton could feel his cheeks heating." Can't we just shake hands?"

"But aren't we supposed to be… like a couple?"

"You said you don't want to date me."

"Well, I'll be your dirty awesome secret. I just… I don't know, Quinnton. As painful as it is to me to say: I like you, I really do." Then he grinned. "So yeah. Let's do that, just without people knowing."

"We will go at our own pace. If we feel like kissing, then we will. I don't really want you ignoring me for years." Quinnton tried to say it lightly, but his grin trembled.

"I was scared, Quinnton. You confused me. But we'll try. And we'll try to talk." A silence fell upon them. Not that heavy, thick with tension. Just a clear silence. "So no kisses for now?

"Is this your quirky way of saying you want to kiss me?"

"Kind of."

"Secret, Santiago, a piece of information that is known by only a small number of people, and is deliberately not told to other people."

"Shut up and let's go home, before I puke on your ugly shoes.

"Or hump them."