Cowboy Bebop:
Chicken Shindig
Another episode from…
A.T. Productions
ACT I SCENE A
Int. Bebop living room. Day
FAYE, 23, is seated while holding her stomach. JET, 36, is standing and putting on a trench coat.
SPIKE, 27, is lying down on the sofa with his eyes closed. ED, 13, is dancing with EIN, the dog, as she plays with a brightly colored wire contraption with many beads on the wires.
Faye
I'm hungry.
Jet
Well, you have to get something yourself. I'm going out to the city to buy supplies with what is left of our money.
Faye turns to Spike.
Faye
Spike, can you cook dinner?
Spike
No.
Faye
Why not?
Spike
You're a woman, can't you cook yourself?
Faye
I'm a woman who is too hungry to cook.
Faye stands up.
Faye
Maybe I can find something that I can warm up.
Spike
Bring me some too.
Ed stops dancing next to Spike and holds out the jumble of wires.
Ed
Ed has got a puzzle! A puzzle!
Spike opens one eye to see what Ed is holding.
Spike
Huh? Looks like you tore out the wires from one of the Mono computers.
Ed
Ein made the puzzle. See? Get the colors to line up!
Ed demonstrates, twisting the wires until the colored beads all line up by color. Then she twists them again to scramble the beads. Spike opens both eyes.
Spike
How did the mutt make that?
Ed
Ed helped!
Spike grabs the puzzle.
Spike
Let me see that.
Spike holds it up and examines the puzzle.
Spike (cont'd)
It doesn't look that difficult.
Spike begins twisting it. He succeeds in making it even more scrambled.
Spike (cont'd)
It must be defective.
He tosses it back to Ed who hands it to Ein.
Ed
Nope! Nope!
Ein paws at the puzzle a few times and the puzzle is solved.
Spike
What the...
Spike takes back the puzzle and examines it closely.
ACT I. SCENE B
Int. Bebop kitchen
Most of the cabinets are open and things are lying on the ground. Faye is rummaging around in one of the cabinets.
Faye
Why isn't there anything to eat in this dump?
Faye stands back and holds the fruits of her efforts – a dusty box of raisins. The box looks like it has been chewed on.
Faye
This isn't enough. What am I going to eat? I guess I'm going to have to go to the city and buy some take-out.
She looks around suspiciously to see if anyone is watching. Then she blows off the dust and begins eating the raisins.
Act I. Scene C
Int. Bar room. Day
Jet enters the room and goes up to the bar. He motions for the BARTENDER.
Jet
I'll have a whiskey.
The bartender nods and hands Jet a glass and begins pouring something from a bottle.
Jet
Know anywhere I can get some cheap food to stock my ship?
Bartender
You could always go to the store on...
Jet
No, I need to go somewhere a little... cheaper.
Bartender
Ah, then go to the fast food restaurant down the street.
Jet
(confused) A fast food restaurant? I don't think...
Bartender
Oh, not the actual restaurant, but behind the restaurant. Some guys are selling chickens for real give-away prices. I think they mixed up an order and are now trying to get rid of the entire lot. Real cheap.
Jet
Oh.
Silence continues while Jet drinks.
Act I. Scene D
Ext. City open market. Day
Faye is casually walking through an open market. She stops in front of a fast food restaurant, HAPPY WINGS. With a shrug she goes in.
Act I. Scene E
Int. Happy Wings fast food restaurant. Day
Faye is standing at the counter of the fast food restaurant pointing at various thing on the menu with one hand. The teenager behind the counters is piling up the food on a tray. With her other hand, Faye is grabbing some of the food and eating it.
Faye
(mouth full) I also want a number 2 meal with mashed potatoes and gravy.
The teenager puts the last order on the tray and rings up the order. Faye leans against the counter in the middle of eating a drumstick.
Waiter
That will be 43 woolong.
Faye
Yeah, yeah.
Faye reaches into her pocket with the hand not holding on to the chicken leg and finds nothing. She pats her other pocket and still nothing. A worried looks forms on her face. She stops eating.
Faye
Uh...
She looks at the waiter and very carefully puts down the half eaten chicken leg with a big nervous grin on her face.
Act I. Scene F
Faye is wearing an apron and hat with the fast food restaurant's logo emblazoned on it. Her expression is sullen as she dips pieces of chicken into a frying vat.
Act I. Scene G
Ext. Front of Happy Wings. Day
Jet looks up at the front of Happy Wings and grimaces. He heads for the alley and ends up in the back of Happy Wings. There is a large truck parked..
Jet
Uh, hello?
An automated gun turret on top of the truck swivels and aims at Jet. Jet is startled but then a man wearing a white lab coat exits the truck from a side door.
Jet
(Startled) What the hell?
Scientist
(Suspicious) Who are you?
Jet
I heard you have some food on sale. I need to get some supplies for our ship.
The scientist's demeanor changes instantly.
Scientist
(Excited) Oh, yes, yes! Of course, we have some nice plump chickens for a great price! Come in!
Scientist ushers Jet into the truck. Inside is a small lab, a couple more scientists, and one end of the truck is occupied by a many cages filled with LIVE CHICKENS. The other scientists look up as Jet comes in.
Scientist 2
(Groan) Braddock, you idiot! You aren't suppose to bring them inside!
Braddock
But he wants to buy the chickens.
Jet
(Confused) You're selling those live chickens?
Braddock
Yes! Would you like them all? We'd be more than happy to let you have them cheap cheap cheap!
Jet
(Mutters) The guy sounds like a chicken. (Loudly) How many could I purchase for this amount?
Jet holds out an electronic device displaying his bank account. Scientist 2 takes it and looks. All the scientists huddle and confer for a few minutes. Finally Braddock approaches Jet.
Well, you drive a hard bargain, but you can have them all, if you arrange for the transportation yourself and pick them up today.
Jet
How many?
Braddock
Oh, all of them. Seven-hundred odd chickens.
Jet blinks a few times in surprise and looks at the entire end of the truck that is filled with chickens.
Act I. Scene H
Int. Bebop Living Room. Day
Jet enters the room carrying a large chicken. Spike is still sitting on the couch trying to solve the puzzle. Ed is working at her computer. Ein is sleeping. Spike looks up.
Spike
Don't tell me that is lunch.
Ed jumps up and grabs the chicken.
Ed
Lunch, lunch! Bwak, bawk!
Jet
It is. There are more. I'm going to take the Hammerhead to get them now. These really odd scientists are selling live chickens for a really good price in the back of a fast food restaurant. We'll have to kill, clean and freeze them ourselves, but then will have plenty to eat for some time.
Spike is growing increasingly annoyed as he attempts to solve the puzzle. Ed is plucking the chicken. On the TV SCREEN, the opening for BIGSHOT: FOR BOUNTY HUNTERS begins.
Male Cowboy
Amigo! How're all you 300,000 bounty hunters in the Sol solar system doing?
Female Cowboy
Once again it's time for BIGSHOT, the show that brings you information about fugitives!
Male Cowboy
And today we have an interesting one...
A bounty on an entire group! They are genetic scientists that have been dabbling with some illegal mutations with animals.
Spike looks up at the TV.
Female Cowboy
Oooh! Frankenstein animals!
On the screen various names and pictures of men appear with individual sums of money beside each.
Female Cowboy
Together they are worth 4 million!
Male Cowboy
The catch is that you have to also bring in their genetically engineered animals to collect your reward.
Female Cowboy
If you don't, kiss your reward good-bye.
Spike looks down at the puzzle then back at the TV. He quickly tries the puzzle one more time... and fails utterly.
Spike
Okay, that's enough of this stupid puzzle,
Ed looks at Spike. Ein wakes up and yawns.
Ed
Oh, you haven't solved the puzzle yet? Stupid stupid!
Act I. Scene I
Int. Bebop docking bay. Day
Spike with an annoyed expression takes the puzzle to his ship, SWORDFISH II. Ed and Ein are following. Ed is plucking feather from the chicken and throwing them for Ein to chase. Spike jams the puzzle down the opening of the barrel on the laser cannon of the Swordfish II.
Spike
The puzzle dies. (To Ed) I'm going to see if I can find that bounty
Spike gets into Swordfish II and takes off.
Commercial Break
Act II. Scene J
Faye has switched to the cash register. She is occasionally sneaking out sums of cash from the register when no one is watching. A man, 22, walks up to the register and Faye begins to pay attention.
Faye
(Monotone) Welcome to Happy Wings, may I take your order?
The man pulls a GUN and aims it at Faye.
Robber
Nobody move! You, give me all the money!
Faye
(Tired) Why me?
Robber
Shut up and give me the money!
Faye
Whatever.
She open the cash register and tosses the cash drawer to the Robber. It is empty.
Robber
What the hell? Where's the cash?
Faye tries to look innocent.
Robber
Okay then...
Robber points gun at the people in the restaurant.
Robber
Everyone! Empty your pockets!
Faye protectively covers her pockets with her hands. The Robber notices.
Robber
You empty your pockets first.
Faye slowly moves her hands for her back pocket. Her hand darts for a hidden holster and she is suddenly aiming a gun at the robber.
Faye
The hell I will!
Faye opens fire.
Act II. Scene K.
Jet is just about to hand over the cash for the chickens loaded up in the Hammerhead. Sudden a couple of POLICE CARS come to a screeching halt in front of Jet and the scientists. Police officers jump out and train guns and spotlights on them.
Police Officer
Freeze!
Jet and Scientists looks up.
Jet
What the hell is this?
Jet EDGES toward the Hammerhead
Police Officer
I said freeze!
Robber CRASHES through the back door of the restaurant. He freezes when he sees the police. All the police shift their aim towards the robber.
Robber
Oh shit!
Faye CRASHES through the door and doesn't notice the police.
Faye
I've got you now, you bastard! Trying to empty a lady's pockets!
Faye OPENS FIRE on the gunman and misses, hitting the chicken cages. They open and the chickens fly free filling the area with a cloud of feathers. Jet grabs Faye and begins running. The police open fire.
Jet
What the hell is going on?
Act II. Scene L
Ext. Sky above city. Day
The Swordfish II flying very low buzzes the restaurant.
Spike
That's one of them!
Below the scientists have entered the truck and begun driving away.
Spike tries firing his machine guns but the bullets bounce off the armored surface of the truck. The gun turret on top of the truck aims and fires at the Swordfish II.
Spike
Damn it!
The Swordfish II, begins evasive maneuvers.
Act II. Scene M
Ext. Above city. Day
Hammerhead flies evasively trying to dodge police aircrafts.
Hammerhead and Swordfish II almost collide in midair as they try to evade other things. Spike is still trying to shoot the truck with the machine guns. Finally he stops, seeing it is ineffective. He arms the laser cannon and fires.
It charges up and fires a massive beam at the truck, effectively destroying the back of the truck and creating a huge crater in the ground. However, the wire puzzle somehow manages to cause some feedback that overloads the gun, in turn overloading the MONO computer. Swordfish II goes out of control and bumps Hammerhead. Both of them crash land.
Act II. Scene N
Ext. Crash site. Day
Spike, Jet, and Faye are struggling out of their ships as the police pull up. Spotlights and guns are trained on them. Scientists come out of the truck with their hands up.
Braddock
Ok, don't shoot. We give up.
Police cars pull up. Spot lights and guns are trained on them. Spike waves to the police casually.
Spike (To the police).
Well, I am glad you finally showed up now that we captured these dangerous criminals. We are bounty hunters and claim the four million woolong prize on these characters. You could give us a hand with catching some of these chickens.
.A police officer comes up to Spike and snaps a handcuff on the hand Spike is waving. Spike sighs.
Act II. Scene O
Int. Bebop living room. Day
Ed is surround by a very large pile of feathers. She is scratching her head confused while Ein whines in a questioning manner. Before them is the "large" chicken. Without its feathers is a very small and scrawny chicken. It is look back with a confused look as well.
Ed
It is a feather, feather chicken.
Ed grins and licks her lips while picking up a fork and knife.
Ed
Lunch! Come here lunch, lunch!
She and a barking Ein begins chasing the now fleeing chicken.
Act II. Scene P
Int. Jail cell. Sunset
Jet, Spike, and Faye are all sitting together on the jail cot. None of them are moving nor making any sounds. They are just looking at the cell door with identical despondent looks on their faces.
Fade out.
Black title screen
Caption (bottom right)
See You Space Cowboy
Ending credits.
*Disclaimer* Cowboy Bebop and its character do not belong to me nor am I attempting to make money off of them. I'm just trying to have some fun.