Dead Knight Walking
By: oONekomataOo
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Wah. How sad.
Warnings: Some OOCness and that's about it for this chappie
Neko: Halloween's my favorite holiday, so I wanted to do a fic with it. I might eventually do another Halloween fic with a different series, but I'm sticking with DK for now.
Thatz: You sound much saner when you type stuff before two in the morning.
Neko: Quiet, you.
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Chapter 1: Friday the 14th
It was a relatively peaceful autumn day in the town of Draqueen, or at least as peaceful as a town housing both Kai-stern and Alfeegi under one roof after a long business trip could be. Despite the loud screams and crashes coming from the castle, the townspeople were enjoying the crisp October air and the frequent candy sales at several stores.
However there was one young man (besides the two bickering secretaries) that wasn't enjoying the nice atmosphere. He didn't bother to take a walk to enjoy the afternoon sun despite the invitation from some of his co-workers. He didn't even bother to head over to the marketplace to steal, er, secretly liberate some expensive candy. And of course he didn't even bat an eyelash when the source of the shouting within the Dragon Castle seemed to run right by his room. Then again, this was probably because he was still asleep.
It wasn't until an hour later, when sunlight streamed into the sleeping Dragon Knight's eyes that he stirred.
"Mwah…I don't wanna ride the ferris wheel, Mommy. I'm allergic to chickens…" mumbled Thatz in a sleepy daze.
Finally he blinked himself into consciousness, and stretched out on his bed. Yawning, he walked over to his large window. The sun was up in the center of the sky.
"Okay," he grinned. "If the sun's that high, it must be almost noon—I'm just in time for lunch!"
Thatz quickly threw a jacket over his tank top and slacks, and headed towards the dining room. On his way, he passed the overly suspicious oak closet that seemed to shake, rattle, and whimper every time Kai-stern returned from a business trip. When they were younger, Rath had told him that it was haunted by the ghost of the previous Red Dragon Officer that Alfeegi had mercilessly whacked to death with his Mallet of Doom. Later on, Thatz had found the real cause.
"Hey, Ruwalk," Thatz whispered to the door. "Did Kai-stern come back today?"
"Pl, Please don't hurt me, Feegi!" squeaked the "ghost" behind the large door. "I swear I didn't give Kai-stern extra money this time! I promise!"
The "ghost" continued wailing amongst the Martha Stuart-brand linens, while the Earth Dragon Knight shook his head.
'Give it a few more years, and we really might have a Dragon Officer haunting this closet…'
Thatz rose from his crouch and continued on to the dining hall. He felt bad for Ruwalk, but there wasn't anything he could do for the traumatized man. Plus, he was hungry.
"Good mornin'!" he chirped as he entered the large, sunlit room that served as the dining hall.
"It's lunchtime, Thatz," stated Rune from the table. Seconds afterward, his eyes went wide as he quickly covered his mouth and dove under the table.
Next to him was Rath, who patted Rune's head in sympathy. Noticing Thatz's puzzled look, Rath mouthed "Tintlett" and "Lim" and jerked his head in the direction of the side doors. As if on cue, the two burst into the room eyes ablaze.
"Where'd he go, dammit! I know I heard my little Rune-kun in here just a second ago!" cursed Lim Kaana, glancing around the room.
"You're little Rune-kun?" mocked Tintlett. "Sorry dear, but you're a few decades too late! Rune is mine!"
"What'd you say, bitch?"
"What did you just call me?"
Hiss. Rawr. Catfight.
Peering over at the dust cloud full of perfectly manicured fingers thrashing about and pulling freshly shampooed hair, Thatz understood. No wonder Rune hadn't scolded him about gambling on the castle grounds recently. Smiling, the thief sat down at the table, near Rath and the hidden Rune.
"Ladies, ladies, no need to fight!" interrupted Thatz, smirk in place.
They promptly ignored him.
"I think I know where Rune is…"
The two girls immediately froze in place, dropped their fistfuls of hair, and eyed him with predatory glares. Under the tablecloth Rune held his breath, unsure of which side Thatz would take. Rath merely watched the whole spectacle.
"In fact he was just here a moment ago talking to me," grinned the brunette.
In a flash Tintlett and Lim were towering over him, foaming at the mouth for information about the whereabouts of their snooky-wookums.
"Rune sounded like he was in such a hurry, too…" stated the Earth Dragon Knight as he fingered with the tablecloth, eyes downcast.
Below, the blonde broke into a sweat. Above, the elf-loving duo had about had it with Thatz's vague statements.
"Where. Is. Rune?" seethed Tintlett in a very unprincesslike fashion.
"……"
"Spit it out already, Dragon!" shrieked Lim.
"Why, the gardens of course," Thatz said with a smile on his lips. "Where else?"
That was all it took to send the pair off towards the gardens in search of their smoochy-woochy-boochy-koochy.
"Man," whistled Thatz. "They run like a gazelle on steroids."
Rath laughed a bit, then leaned towards the edge of the table.
"You're safe, Rune," he said.
"Uh, thanks," the elf smiled in half appreciation and half relief. He still wasn't used to all the attention the two girls all but threw upon him. "I think I'm starting to realize what Kai-stern has to go through."
"Hey, be grateful that they don't try to show their affection through mallets!" laughed Thatz.
His companions shuddered. Before they could continue their conversation, Cernozura brought out lunch, and Thatz's thoughts drifted to his empty stomach.
After a seven course lunch for Thatz (two course for everybody else), it was time to hit the road. The end of the month was coming, and the resident King of Cons hadn't had a decent scam since the 1st. Leaving his fellow Dragon Knights to talk about over-obsessive fangirls, the brunette headed outside for a breath of fresh air and inspiration for a new rip-off, er, enterprise.
He didn't want to run into Tintlett or Lim Kaana again, so the gardens were out. Then again, most of the castle was out since Alfeegi was still on the rampage. Thatz unconsciously rubbed the back of his head where he'd been viciously attacked by a stray mallet in the past, and headed into town.
On his way, he noticed a shabby looking scarecrow near a small patch of pumpkins. Despite the grisly look cast by its button eyes and threaded smile, a flock of crows were already pecking at the un-carved pumpkins.
"Wow, that's effective," the brunette said sarcastically.
A few more steps, and Thatz suddenly tripped over something furry.
Mrrreow!
Thatz barely had time to register in his mind that the beast was a snarling black cat, before tumbling down the stone stairs on the edge of the castle property.
"Ouch. That'll leave a mark," he winced.
"Are you all right?" asked a deep voice.
"Huh? Yeah, just peachy," Thatz replied, opening his eyes just a crack. That was all he needed. "Tetheus!"
The Dragon Knight immediately jolted up and nearly banged his head against the tree that had caught his unexpected fall. Tetheus eyed him warily. The brunette was up to something.
"So how're things goin' with the troops today!" asked Thatz, a bit too nervously.
"Fine…"
"Hey, that's great! Oh! Look at the time!" exclaimed the sweatdropping boy, pointing to the imaginary watch on his wrist. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta run! Seeya!"
And with that, the Dragon Knight of Earth high-tailed it out of there before the Black Dragon Officer could get a word in edgewise. Thatz knew all too well that getting caught breaking the rules by Tetheus could almost be almost as bad as being caught by Alfeegi.
Once in the marketplace, Thatz ducked into an alleyway to catch his breath. During the time that it took him to get his heart to resume beating, he watched the happy residents of Draqueen go about their daily schedule.
'Let's see…kids walking their dog, vendor lady ripping off customers, couple arguing about money, drag queen hitting on a clown…boring.'
His emerald eyes finally rested on a group of teens bobbing for apples. They seemed to be having a fun time and looked about Thatz's age. Well, Thatz's age if he wasn't ageless. Sighing, Thatz moved on. It was difficult to properly market fruit anyway.
Walking around a little more, and the thief found himself in the town square. Nothing interesting seemed to be happening there either, so Thatz headed over to the fountain. As soon as he was a few feet away, he felt something waist-high run into him.
"Oops, excuse m-" he had stopped mid-sentence once he got a good look at the kid.
The little ankle-biter was clothed in a large sheet and a monster mask. His hair was spiked up all over the place similar to Thatz's, but looked more deliberate on the child.
"Rawr! I'm a Demon!" he shouted as he ran off.
"Yeah, okay," replied the skeptical Dragon Knight. 'Kids just get weirder and weirder every day…' he thought to himself.
Annoyed that he spent his whole afternoon in the town and still didn't come up with any decent ideas for his October Scam, Thatz decided to return to the castle. And this time he kept a lookout for any stray black cats or Tetheuses. One trip to down the stairs and a near trip to the Black Dragon Officer's office was enough for him for the day.
Hearing a flutter of wings above him, the Dragon Knight looked up. A large group, colony, whatever of bats soared off in search of cockroaches and other tasty insects to devour. They looked a little strange against the setting sun background, but Thatz just shrugged his shoulders.
'So the bats are out early. Big deal.'
Using his fine-tuned thief's ears, Thatz tried to figure out where everyone was before he made the mistake of entering a room filled with rabid fangirls or raging secretaries. He could hear a crashing sound coming from an open window on the second floor. Either Alfeegi had finally caught Kai-stern or Rath had just broken another priceless artifact. An 'Oops' followed by a tiny red dragon swooping out of the window came after that. Rath.
The silent thief crept over to the back entrance of the Dragon Castle. He smiled as everything sounded peaceful, but frowned as the silence was shattered by a high-pitched squeal. And another. Rune had been caught.
"The gardens it is!" beamed Thatz as he scurried over to the trellis covered in ivy.
He sat on the crumbling old bench and put his hand under his chin. He sat and pondered. And pondered. And pondered. In fact, he pondered so hard that he nearly fell asleep.
"Urgh! Why is this so hard?" he asked himself. He was Thatz, the self-proclaimed King of Thieves! A simple thing like plotting a new con shouldn't be anywhere near this difficult for him. "There's gotta be something I can use out here for inspiration!"
As he sat there fuming, Thatz failed to notice the group of three maids behind him carrying a banner towards the castle. Not surprising that he didn't see the 'Happy Halloween' written in big, black letters across it either.
Another hour passed, and it started to get even darker. The sun had set long ago, but Thatz had refused to go back inside until he had come up with an idea. Watching a spider start to approach a small butterfly that had been ensnared in its web, Thatz finally got an idea.
"That's it!" he hollered.
The brunette turned, leapt off the bench, and ran the 200 yards separating him from the castle doors in twelve seconds flat. He burst through the first doors he found and ran down the hallway. Not paying attention to where he was going, Thatz also collided with the first person he found. It really wasn't Rune-chi's day.
"Ow! Thatz! Watch it!" complained the elf.
Ignoring his friend's cries protest, the Earth Dragon Knight grasped his shoulders and lifted him to his feet effortlessly. When he noticed that Rath was there as well, hugging the wall, the thief became even more excited.
"Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what!" Thatz cried as he hopped around like a two year old on a sugar high, which he essentially was, I suppose.
Rath and Rune exchanged a worried glance. Had Thatz eaten one of the Funny Mushrooms that grew in the royal gardens again?
"Uh, what?" Rune ventured.
"Did Alfeegi finally give you brain damage with that mallet of his?" asked Rath.
Rune elbowed the half-demon, but Thatz took no notice.
"I am going to build the biggest, baddest, scare-your-pants-off-and-send-you-runnin'-home-to-mamma Haunted House you've ever seen! And you guys are gonna help me!" exclaimed the enthusiastic conman.
"For Halloween?" Rune asked. "Sure, Rath forces me to go to one with him every year. There'll be less casualties if we make one ourselves."
"Heh, heh, yeah, those were some especially weak demons last year, huh Rune?" laughed Rath maniacally.
"Let's go ask Alfeegi," said the Water Dragon Knight, casting his companion a worried gaze.
As they started off to Alfeegi's office, Thatz was left alone in the hallway.
"It's Halloween?"
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:A/N:
Neko: There….and it only took me 2 ½ hours to type…ah, ha, ha…
Thatz: I have never seen anyone inhale Gobstoppers so fast in my entire life.
Rune: Watch yourself in a mirror next time. You'll be amazed.
Rath: How come this was all about Thatz? You never give me a big part…
Neko: 'Cause the Haunted House had to be his idea, it's nothing personal, Rath. I still have big plans for you, my dearie… hehehehehe…(rubs hands together and eyes glow)
Rath: Uh, y'know what? Scratch that. It can all be about Thatz. No problem!
Thatz: Hey! You can't leave me with the cat-freak! Where's Gil!
Thanks for reading!