*Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, or any of its characters. Just the ideas and what I am writing.
*Pairing/Shipping: France!AmericaxReader
With summer being on the scene, sending it's warm winds and summer rays reaching down to heat the population below, one would think it was quite a normal day like any other. Then again, if you had to sit in a meeting with the Allies and Axis nations, you'd have known better. The meeting was about to end, and you knew it was because a chair went flying out of the second story window of the building where they always met. It always reminded you of those Appliance Defenestration commercials where the women threw out their old washing machines for not working right and almost impaling a poor unexpected bypasser; with shouts and curses being heard from where the appliance came from, or in this case, a wooden chair.
England was fuming, as always, with a snickering France who had teased him most of the meeting; not to mention disagree with him and everyone else who wasn't French.
"I've BLOODY had it with you you wanking frog! You NEVER agree to anything and you always tease me and make the meetings unbearable!"
"Ahhh, vat Britain, mon cher, vhy must zu be so angry all ze time? You know I alwayz disagree with you because ah, you make a no sense?" He said smiling at the Englishman and sniffing a soft, beautiful velvety red rose; cherishing its beauty in the heat of the moment. "If you vould learn to open your mind, you vould be much 'appier!"
England growled at him and the Frenchman just smiled happily at him, irritating him more. "You know what I ment!"
"Ahh, do I now? Besides, ze meeting is over, and I vould like to go home and relax as I'm sure _ vould too, non?" He said winking at you. "Unless you plan on trying to beat some love into me, vhich I vould not refuse normally, but today, I 'ave other plans."
England's face turned blood red showing how angry he was before calming down; remembering that you were still there in the room while the other nations were already leaving.
England gave an exasperated sigh, "Very well then. I'd hate to go home smelling like a slutty French Frog anyways." He left directly out of the room after that before France could give him a reply.
You had a hand over your mouth giggling because the site always made you smile. Yes, teasing England was fun, and seeing him get wound up about it, but then you also had to realize that even he needs a break from the teasing.
France turned to you and extended his free hand for you to take. You obliged and took it still smiling and showing those beautiful pearls of yours with a gleam in your eye. "Ah, ma cheri, do excuse him, as always, he cannot 'elp himself. I do say, he does need a girlfriend or someting."
"Oh I know, it's no problem. But, it is fun to see him all riled up about stuff."
"Ahh, zat is true! As much as I vould love to stay a vhile and chat with you, I do really 'ave other plans today; mainly relaxing for once." He said with a beautiful smile on his face.
"I can understand that. I have plenty to do myself. But I'd rather enjoy the nice weather while it's here."
He nodded and you both said your goodbyes and parted ways out the door leading down the hallway. You kept going straight while he turned off into another corridor leading down a different path. You figured he was going another way out to avoid England, if he was anywhere near.
Only a few minutes passed before you heard a loud crash and scream; with French curse words of course coming from where France had turned off to walk. You quickly turned around and ran back and turned to the hallway where you heard the hilarious words coming from. But, when you finally reached him, you couldn't believe what was before you. It was France, but, he was smaller; about as young as a five year old, and he was not happy in the least. England was standing there a bit shocked at what happened; along with some broken bottles down around his feet with a small wooden box that was carrying them. After his shock he started laughing hysterically at France's predicament.
"And just vut is zo funny England?" He said shouting at the man.
"Oh my God! You're so tiny and hairless now! Aren't you just the cutest little button?!" England said and tried to pinch France's little baby cheeks.
France tried to retaliate by slapping England, which in turn, irritated him and he slapped the young French man back.
Even though France was older, he was now a child and your motherly instincts kicked in and you went to France's side; slapping England in the process. "How dare you hit a child!" You retorted and knelt down holding the little France.
England was a bit shocked at first from you slapping him and rubbed his cheek; staring at you for a moment before standing up with a irritated face. "He's NOT a child. He looks like one, but he's still that creepy old perverted frog I've always known."
You held France in your arms with him burying his head in your shoulder with small tears coming from his eyes and sucking his thumb without thinking as to why. "I don't care what he still is to you! He's a child to me and you WILL not hit him like so while I'm around. You got that? Now, how did this happen?" You stood up holding France on the side of your him with his face still buried in your shoulder.
Britain sighed, rubbing the back of his head, all collected now and replied, "After I left the meeting I remembered I left some potions here and when I was coming back I bumped into France and well...that's what one of the potions did to him after it came into contact with body."
"Do you know how to change him back?"
"I-I-I think so. I haven't ever had this problem before...but I should be able to!" He tried to sound a bit cheery and optimistic.
France finally looked at England with half of his face showing and stuck his tongue out at him. "You 're a bad man! I 'ope your food kills you next time you eat it! And may your tea shrivel up like your wrinkly balls!"
Instead of sounding like an adult, France had a tiny child's voice which made England burst back out into laughter instead of insulting him back.
"And vhat are zu laughing at you British tea bag?"
Still laughing, he replied, "You sound so funny! That tiny little voice of yours, you sound like you're five!" Then proceeded to keep laughing and holding his sides.
"If you don't turn me back I will dump all your tea into the toilet and flush you down along vith it!" He hissed and clutched your shirt tightly; giving England the death glare of hate. "And zen I vill tell Amerika to replace all your stores vith McDonalds and Starbucks!"
"HA! I would love to see you try that in that tiny little form of yours!" He stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes to tease the lil French toddler more.
Enough was enough, it had been a long meeting and you were already tired and didn't want to hear anymore bickering or teasing. "England?"
He stopped what he was doing and looked at your tired expression. "Yes?"
"It's been a long day, aside from the meeting, could you please get the potion and give it to him when you can?"
He looked at France with a unimpressed face and then softened up himself. "Sure. But, I need to get back to my place to do so."
"Thanks." You smiled at him. "I'll take care of him back at his place, so you can find us there when you're done."
"You're actually going to take care of him?" He sounded a bit confused.
"Of course, why not?"
"Well I mean, it's just that, even though he's five, he's a nation you know...right? And we can take care of ourselves."
France gave England the biggest most pitiful blue-eyed look ever. "Vhat Iggy, I'm so little and 'elpless. I might need some 'elp vith someting. And 'ho could ignore someone as très mignonne as me?" This was more a taunt than anything.
England just gave him a stupid look.
"Exactly. Even if he is a nation, I'm sure he might need some help right? What could it hurt? I don't have anything I really need to do anyways...that can wait."
"Alright, fine. I don't see what it could hurt." He bent down to pick up the mess of bottles that were lying around while you left with France still in tow and holding him.
"Au revoir, mon cheri!" France said and sent England a kiss.
England just grumbled and finished picking up his mess and then left.
When you made it to the last hallway before exiting the building, France had asked you to let him down so he could walk. But, when you came to the door that led out, he had a bit of trouble reaching the nob and made a sour face at it.
You giggled at him. "Here, let me get it for you." You opened the door and you both walked out.
"Vell, zat might be a bit of an inconvenience, non?" He said in that cute little voice of his.
"It just might. At least I'm here to help you right?" You had a cheerful smile on your face which brightened him up a bit.
"Ahhh, zat is true. Vut, dis vill be ah pain since I'm not use to being dis small anymore. And, a gentleman, such az myself, is suppose to ah, open zee door for the lady." He held out a rose to you that he had in his small coat pocket.
"Well then, you can do that for me another time, but today, I shall be your gentleman and you can be my lady." You teased, taking the rose and sticking it back in his pocket. "This will be yours for a while madam."
He gave a small chuckled. "You are too kind _. I do appreciate it. Now...". He looked at your car door and tried to open it with little success. You helped him open it and sat him in the backseat instead, much to his displeasure. "Now vhy can't this little beautiful flower sit in the front for all to see?" He protested.
"Because, you're ah...too small and it's a safety regulation after all. I'd appreciate not going to jail today, especially since I'm watching over you." You winked at him and got in the car.
He still was not pleased at all and crossed his arms, making a cute little pouting face that looked out the window and glared at whatever it came into contact with. If looks could kill than a pigeon would've dropped out of the sky right then and there and landed on a unsuspecting person who was walking under it.
It took a while to get back to France and his place, but, eventually, you made it back and it was nighttime. You parked his car out in front of his house and he was sound asleep; he looked like a little angel, and was sucking his thumb in his sleep. You carefully picked him up from the backseat and took him in, a servant was waiting for you two and she gave you a confused look at first when she saw France in your arms; but figured England had something to do with it and didn't ask. You took him upstairs to his bedroom and laid him down and pulled the covers up over him, all snuggly and safe from everything. You went to one of his guest rooms and fell asleep on the bed, entering dreamland not too long after that.
Morning came and the sun danced its way into the house, making it seem like glitter had been thrown around, giving it a majestic look. You were still sound asleep face first on the bed when something made its way up on your bed, making little grunting noises trying to get up there, and laid next to you.
You could feel something watching you and slowly, came out of your slumber, blinking your eyes multiple times trying to get the blurriness out. A small blond figure came into view as you saw more clearly bit by bit.
"Bonjour ma cherie." He said laying sideways; looking at you with a cute little smile and his eyes practically shining like the sky. He brushed a bit of your hair out of your face while you were still waking up.
That's when it hit you. It wasn't a dream and you sat up, rubbing your eyes for a moment. "Oh yeah, I about forgot that you were still small. Sorry. You were asleep when we arrived home so I put you in your bed and fell asleep here."
"Ahh, zat is alright. I slept very good, but, you could've stayed vith me in there so no monsters could get me. " He said and made a rawr sound with a sly smile on his face and hands in the air making claws like a monster.
You laughed at his cute attempt to look like a ferocious monster. "Well then, what if I'm the monster?" You did the same thing with your hands and pushed him back, exposing his little belly and gave him the biggest raspberry ever. This earned you a loud squeal from him and then laughter as you gave him another one. Then blew little raspberries all over his cute little fat cheeks and tickling his sides.
He was defenseless against your raspberry attacks and laughed so hard from your tickles that he had tears coming from his eyes. His poor little legs were no match for you since you kept them under you so he couldn't squirm or kick away at you. You gave him one finally raspberry on his neck and sat up laughing at him while he held his sides.
He finally calmed down from the laughter enough to talk. "Zat vas not fair _!"
"Ahhhhh, but monsters aren't fair now are they, mon petit chou?" You winked at him. He really was super adorable as a kid.
He just laid there laughing. "I think I found a few new muscles from that laughing exercise! Vut, don't forget, I may be a cute little child now, vhat I vill get you back later cheri." He grinned and sat up, along with a growl from his tummy. "I zink it's time for breakfast, oui?"
You nodded. "Sure, any ideas from young master on what we should eat?"
"Hmmm, not and English breakfast!" He teased. "Something edible...and French!"
"How about a French breakfast then?"
"Oui! Zat is perfect!" He jumped down off the bed and you followed him downstairs to where the kitchen was.
There was no chef in France's house today, so you offered to help him make the breakfast for the both of you. You got a small stool for France to stand on to help in any way he could. He put some of the food on the table and tried to carry some plates, but only got them as high as the chair he would sit in. So, you put them up there for him. He was still a little too small to reach the table from just sitting normally on a chair. You used one of his big fluffy pillows and sat it on the chair, then France. He sat happily at the table with you; enjoying the breakfast meal you both made together.
"Ahhhhh, that was a good breakfast wasn't it?" You said sitting back in your chair and rubbing your fully belly.
"Oui, that vas very good indeed cherie." He did the same thing as you.
"Since England hasn't shown up yet with the potion, how about we go to the park today? It is nice out and we can walk around and you can play in the flowers?"
"Hmmm, zat sounds like a nice idea. I would love to be outside for a little vhile and tease some of the woman vith my petit charms!" He sounded like he was definitely going to make the most of this.
"But first! You need to get a nice bath and some charming clothes on." You winked at him.
He hit his fist into his other hand and smiled. "Oui! That iz a must! I must look my best when going out and about of course! To do such less would be...English." He snickered.
You both went into his main bathroom and ran a small tub of water for him. You didn't mind taking care of him as a child, but, still, there were some things that made you feel uncomfortable. One, helping him bathe and seeing him naked; which made you have a funny look on your face.
Right when the water was done running, he didn't even wait another second. His clothes went flying in the air and he jumped in the water all happy and giddy. With a few flying water droplets attacking you as he did so. "Now!" He said in a demanding childish voice. "I need some rose pedals in here. I must smell nice, too."
You smiled and acted like a servant, bowing to him and got some scented fragrances to add to the bathwater for him. "Will my lord be needing anything else? A rubber ducky perhaps?" You teased.
"Non! Hmmm." He thought for a moment. "Vhat you can get in here vith me." He held his face up with his hands on the edge of the bathtub and gave you those innocent looking blue eyes again.
You laughed at him and messed with his hair some. "Sorry Charlie, you're going solo on this one. Maybe when you're older." You used that one back on him this time.
He grinned. "Honhonhon,I shall remember zat and hold you to it!"
"I await the day mon cher."
You helped him finish his bath and took him, wrapped in his towel, to his room. Wondering what clothes would fit him, and if he still had any from when he was actually this small.
"Oh zat should be where they are." You let him down so he could go to his closet and dig in one of the cupboards and found a small French outfit. He put it on and look absolutely irresistibly adorable.
"Well now that you're ready, I think I need to go spruce myself up real quick."
" D'accord. Unless, you vould like me to 'elp?" He gave you that little cheeky grin of his.
You shook your head smiling, "I think I can do this on my own." You winked at him and left to go back to the bathroom. You finished up and went out to the living room where he was trying to tie his shoe laces.
He was getting angry because his small hands were messing up on how he would tie his shoes.
"Here, I'll help you with that." You said, bending down and tying them for him.
He gave a sigh, "Zis is veally annoying. I can't even tie my shoes by myself!" He folded his arms making a sour face again.
"Well, it's hard for kids isn't it? Now you know how they feel." You giggled at his predicament and lifted him up without thinking.
"Oui, I know. But still, for me to be like dis, I curse dat England! Whatever curse I give him is still too good! I called his 'ouse and left a message telling him we'd be in the nearby park and for him to hurry his caterpillar brows up."
"I don't think that'll make him hurry up faster France."
"It better or I'll turn him into someting and harass him forever!" He gave a evil laugh, tilting his little head back and holding his hands out; trying to be menacing, but not working.
"You have to stop doing that, mon petit."
"Oh?" He stopped what he was doing and looked at you curiously. "And vhy is zat?"
"Because, you just look so adorable no matter what!" You pretended like all the cuteness was killing you, which made him give a small laugh.
"Oh, I'm adorable am I? Zen I shall be even more adorable in public so that no one can resist me and it'll make all of you humans melt!"
"Then you better go find some stepping stools so you can open doors and wear Velcro shoes from now on since no one will be here to tie your shoes."
"Oh zat is right! I vill need to keep at least one person here vith me! Vell zen! I shall keep you since you've been kind enough to 'elp me already." He beamed a grin at you and held out his arm for you to take like the little gentleman he was. You happily took it and you both walked towards the park.
While you two were walking there, you received some looks from people who were looking at what they thought was your son. You did receive some compliments on how cute and adorable he was; and he, in turn, but on his little French charms. Wooing the women with those mesmerizing sparkling eyes of his that could drowned you if you pissed him off. He was loving the attention.
You both finally arrived at the park and he was a little tired so you both sat on a nearby bench. There were a lot of people around and some kids that looked around his age playing on the playground.
"Well zat was a long walk. I did not realize my energy would be zapped out of me like that. I should be able to walk for as long as forever."
"I think you're out of energy from getting so much attention and be a little charmer." You teased him.
He smiled, "Hahaha, oui, that vould be it right? I'll go with that."
"Wanna go play with those kids over there?"
"How about those women over there?" He was talking about any woman in the park.
You put your hand on his head and leaned down toward his face giving a stern look. "No."
"Awww, vut whyyyyyy?"
"Because."
"Because whyyyyyyy?" He was going to tease you right back as much as he could get away with.
"Because I said so."
He tried giving you that pitiful look and when it didn't work he just smiled and made a kissy face at you; since your face was still right in his. You pulled back sighing. "You are still yourself even as a kid."
"Well how vould you 'ave me any ozer vay?" He said smugly.
"As a French maid making me a sandwich."
He laughed at the thought of that. For a while you two wandered around the park, looking at the gardens of flowers, the beautiful fountain in the center of it, and all the people that were there. You two were having such good fun. You both even got some yogurt ice-cream and shared it. Along with some smoothies. You heard a shout from the distance and when you finally found the source, it was England running towards you two.
"Oh bloody hell you two need to be more specific on where you're going to be." He said sounding like he was out of wind from running.
"I'm not the one who called you, you senile loon. Did you get the potion?" You asked curiously.
He ignored that first comment since you were a lady to him. "Yes, I did. But I'd prefer to give it to him in his house."
"Oh honhonhon. You vinally come around huh Angleterre?" He gave a devilish little look at England.
England just furrowed his brows, "What are you talking about you lil French pervert?"
"Oh, just zat you wanted to give it to me in my 'ouse?"
"That's NOT what I meant and you know it you wanker."
"Tsk tsk. Just like always. You tease but cannot please. No vonder you are alone, except vhen I take you." He gave a little laugh and hide behind your leg as England was fixing to reach him and give him a good strangle.
You stopped England. "Come on, lets just go get him back to normal, then you can strangle each other with loves and affections okay?"
England began to protest, but then an elderly French couple happened to walk by and notice you three. They take a look at the little France and start cooing over him. Complementing him on how he has his father's hair and skin complexion and how you two have such a beautiful child. France in turn puts on his little charms and stays hidden behind your leg acting all shy and cute. This encourages them even more.
"He's such a little cutie pie." The older woman says.
"Umm, thank you, but he's not the father..." You say a bit embarrassed.
Before you can finish you notice the couple give you a stern and puzzled look as if you had done something seriously wrong.
France, wanting to take this opportunity to embarrass England even further, decided to add his two cents in, shyly of course. " Excusez-moi S'il vous plaît? Vhat, I am his child, vhat I am...what is dat word in English again maman?" He looks innocently at you and then shyly at the elder couple after acting like he's thought about the word. "Oh yes, I'm his illegitimate love child. Or bastard as he calls me when he's drunk and hates me more. He does not accept me because I am half French and he's full blooded English and will not marry my maman because of that." He puts on the tears and buries his head in your thigh.
You are dying of laughter so hard on the inside, along with dreaded embarrassment on the outside. England's face has practically fallen to the ground at what came out of the little French toddlers mouth and before he can protest he gets a good scolding from the couple. Then they turn to you and tell you to find yourself a Frenchman who would be better suited since the English only like whoremongering in France and not take responsibility for their actions like always.
As they walk away, you hear their last words. " It's just like the English. Taking our women and making children with, not claiming them and not handling their alcohol correctly...savages."
France is snickering behind your leg and England is furious by now. You stop him before he gets all of you noticed by more people. "Come on now, you can settle this after you turn him back okay? Okay?"
"Fine. But he's mine when he turns back." He looks at France. "And NOT in the way you'll like it!"
"Oh don't tease me so, mon cheri." He giggled and you three walked somewhat peacefully back to his house.
Once there, you sat France up on one of his sofas and England took out a vile of his potion. "This will turn you back...to normal. Much to our dismay. All you have to do is drink it and that's it."
France gave him a cautious look.
England raised his hands in defeat. "I swear by the Queen's life it's the right potion. Even though I want to murder you, I'd rather not be remembered for killing a illegitimate love child of mine." He took the top off the potion and handed it to him.
France took it and held it up before drinking it. "Here's to us ma cherie." Though he said that looking to you with love and thanks in his eyes.
A puff of smoke went around him and he was full grown again, though, he was practically naked because those small clothes ripped right off of him. He grabbed a pillow and put it over himself. "Vhile I don't mind being like dis, I thought I should cover myself in front of a lady, non?" He winked at you. "Now, before you kill me Angleterre, I shall go at least get some clothes on."
"Fine by me. I'll be waiting for you." He said and folded his hands across his chest while France went to go take his time getting dressed.
You walked up towards his room and knocked on it, after he had been in there for an hour, receiving a reply. "Oui?"
"Are you alright France? You've been in there for an hour." You asked curiously, and a bit worried.
"Oh I'm am fine. Vhere is Britain? Is he still 'ere?"
"No, he practically left when you came upstairs. He didn't feel like beating you up today since I was here. He said he'd save it for you for another day." You chuckled.
"Ahhh, from England, neither fair wind, nor good war." You heard a small chuckle come from inside and opened the door the rest of the way when he said you could come in. You saw him standing at the tall window he had in his room. The sun beating down all around him, making him seem like he was glowing. He turned and faced you, all smiles and dazzling eyes. "I'm sorry I vas taking so long." He walked over and shut his closet door.
You walked over and peered out the window as well.
He turned and stayed where he was, watching you gaze out of the window. You looked like a goddess with all that magical glitter floating around you. He smiled. "It's just a lovely view, how could I leave?"
"I agree. It is. I bet you see some great sunsets or sunrises here right?"
"Actually, I vas talking about you, mon amour." He said romantically.
You gave a small laugh. "Still the same as always, aren't you?" You turned your head to see him, but what caught you off guard more, was the look he was giving you.
You could tell he was being serious when he said about you.