DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. STOP CALLING ME.
Love is a foreign concept.
This queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, the heat from my cheeks that I know are stained crimson;
the sound of my heart beating against my chest as if wanting to burst free
is something new.
Happiness…is also foreign.
The laughter I try so hard to contain, the embarrassed grins that I can't help but grin;
the urge to just break down and squeal in delight as I clutch my pillow to my chest and roll on my bed
…is also new.
But, I…
don't understand.
These emotions, these human emotions that everyone supposedly feels…
that everyone is supposedly born into this world with:
love, happiness…
I…
had never felt them before you.
Pain was not foreign.
The pain of leaving…the pain of being left behind,
Physical pain…emotional pain,
were all familiar feelings.
…all too familiar.
Loneliness…
was all I knew.
Hopelessness…
was all I felt.
Emptiness…
was all that existed for me.
The emptiness that came with trying to fill a pair of shoes
that are much too big;
the emptiness of a mansion
filled with nothing but hollow alliances
was all I had.
…Yet.
…yet…
The day you arrived…
Even though you feared me…even though you would cower every time I was near…
…I was…
…I felt…
…happy.
And slowly, as you opened up to me…
as you would begin to smile for me…
and this friendship began…
I began to feel…
…this love.
And the concepts that were once so foreign
became familiar.
For the first time I felt
the joy that came from painting a picture,
the delight that could be found in spotting shapes in the clouds,
the bliss of running through the flowers hand in hand without ever looking back,
the simplicity of being a child…
And for the first time I felt
the longing to be near someone
the yearning to make someone smile
the wish to see that person happy
no matter what…
…and yet…
The desire to fill those shoes drives me forward.
But the aching to be with you holds me back.
The time we spent together will always be in my heart
Every time we laughed is precious to me
and every time we cried only makes me fonder
The tears you cried are burned into my memories
Yet somehow, I find the strength to move on,
because ever step I take brings me closer
to fulfilling that promise
and returning to you.
Ich werde dich immer Lieben.
Warte auf mich.
A/N: Another poem in my poetry kick. THIS ONE...UUUUUGH. KILLED ME TO FINISH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED ANYMORE, UUUUUUGH. Oh well, post-leaving HRE. :3