Beautiful Release
by Tina
For a moment, she could swear her mind had gone blank. Nirvana. And she didn't care much for it. She blinked and lightly snapped out of it. Lightly. After all, not much seemed to fill her head those days. At least, that's what it seemed like. Oh, how foolish.
She looked down at the fresh bubbles that surrounded her and turned off the Jacuzzi. She finally closed her eyes and tried to focus on the moment, on the feeling of being alive. The blood that pumped through her veins. The scent of the bath oils that surrounded her. The city noises, which, throughout the years of living in New York, she had majored the art of blocking out. She had forgotten how they still managed to sneak up to the 18th floor of her Park Avenue apartment.
It was almost real.
It was home.
The door opened abruptly and she opened her eyes, without looking any disturbed.
"Oh, hey" Barry greeted.
"Hey"
Rachel didn't even have the strength to complain when he forgot to lift up the toilet seat. It was one of the many things she had given up on after countless years of marriage.
After he was done, Barry left the bathroom unloosening his tie and leaving the door open. Rachel looked after him, making sure he was out of sight - she knew he was undressing in their room as he turned on the t.v., where he would spend some time laughing before coming in for a shower - before lifting herself out of the tub and wrapping a towel around her slim body.
Once in her closet, she closed the door and dropped the towel. Blankly staring at her nude figure through a mirror, she untied her hair from a bun. She looked closely at her image. She really had to get those roots dyed.
Remembering she had forgotten the bag with her brand new body products in the bedroom, Rachel cursed under her breath and covered herself with a robe. Sure enough, Barry's clothes were scattered all over the floor. She stepped on them on her way to her shopping bags. She grabbed all six of them and marched back to the closet, once again stepping on his shirt. She thought she'd seen a lipstick mark on his collar, from the corner of her eyes.
But she didn't turn to look again. She continued her path.
Barry's laugh filled the spacious bedroom when she re-entered it. Another lame t.v. program she couldn't bring herself to give a minute of her attention. Good thing it was something else she had learned to block out. With a little help. She reached for her nightstand, pulling a pill from the drawer. With no need of water, she swallowed it, dry, somehow enjoying the feeling of the tiny button shaped drug slowly slipping down her throat.
With her head on her goose feather pillow, release came.
---
Ross sat alone on his bed that morning, a thoughtful look on his face. He could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, Carol was taking a shower. He looked at the door and then looked down. Wondering.
Twelve years of marriage. Sure there would be times they would be running a rough path, right? It was only normal.
Right?
Five months it had been since they had last had sex. Three since he'd noticed their conversation was beginning to die down aswell. And for a couple of weeks now, Carol seemed to be more edgy than usual. Ever since, they had had a few tiffs, something unusual at the Geller-Willick household, followed by a huge fight the previous night during dinner, right in from of their five-years-old son, Ben. Over... He couldn't even remember what had triggered it. Or he couldn't understand.
He stood up, confident, and opened the bathroom door silently. He undressed, still unnoticed by his wife, and sneaked into the shower with her.
"What the hell?"
Carol backed away from him.
"I just wanna apologize for last night"
He gave her a smile and approached, but was stopped when she held up a hand.
"Don't."
"Carol, I just-"
"I'm done here" she simply said, hopping off the shower. "And don't forget about dinner tonight at the Roberts'"
Ross watched her leave, his eyes wide open, surprised, yet unable to demand an explanation. Chicken? Nah. Ross just wanted to be patient. The day they'd gotten married, he'd promised her that, right? They'd vowed to love each other and be together forever. He didn't want to confront her. Not just now. Maybe with a little space, she would get over it and go back to her usual self. In the mean time...
He gave himself a treat in the shower. As he orgasmed, he could tell there was more to the water that ran down his body. Deluded, his tears helped wash out some of his frustration away. Just some.
---
Rachel couldn't tell how much time had passed since she'd been up. She blinked blankly at the ceiling, so white. She ran the things she had to do that day through her mind. Pick up dry cleaners, exchange that Fendi with a broken strap, shop for more night cream, dye her hair, brunch with the girls... And she shut her eyes when she remembered.
"Shit, dinner at the Roberts'..." she thought to herself.
Well, on the bright side, that meant she could go and pick up a new dress for the occasion. God knows Barry never complained when it came to spending money on such occasions. And she would be no fool to let the opportunity pass by. It was one of the few pleasures she still had those days, after all.
"Mrs. Farber, no breakfast?" the latin american maid asked with a heavy accent.
"No, Dalva. Listen, I laid down some clothes on my bed, they need to be ironed." The maid nodded. "And, also, I'm not coming home for lunch. If Barry calls, tell him I did not forget about dinner."
"OK, Mrs. Farber"
And, with that, Rachel was gone.
-
"Oh, I am telling you, she's a keeper. She even takes little Matt to the doctor sometimes when I can't make it"
The other girls looked amazed at Lisa Houser's statement.
"Honey, you gotta let us know where you find such great nannies"
"She might just be the only one." Lisa shook her head. "And God knows she's the first good one I have. Remember the" Lisa gestured drinking with an invisible glass "incident?"
"Oh, right, right" the rest of them agreed.
"What about you, Rach?" Paula Krauss asked. "No kids in the picture yet? It's about time you start thinking about it"
She knew it was coming. It always did. But she pulled up a smile from her sleeve, she never ran out of those.
"And wreck yet another human being? Nah, I've done enough of that in high school." She sipped on her juice. "Not my thing"
"Oh, honey, it's not my thing either, and yet, here I am, third on the way"
They all laughed, though Rachel couldn't tell why.
"Yeah, yeah, but still... Nah" She shook her head.
"Does Barry not want them?"
Bitter memories.
"He does, sometimes... And some other times he wants to cancel his appointments for a week and fly off to Paris. I keep telling him that can't happen once we have a baby."
"True, a lot is missed out when you have them to take care of..."
"That's what nannies are for, girl." Lisa said as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "And here's to them." She raised her glass.
Again, Rachel fake-laughed at the tragic statement.
-
In her closet, Rachel pulled out her new Prada from its bag. Perfect, didn't need ironing or anything. She proudly picked up a hanger and displayed the dress right next to the mirror as she worked on her make up. Once she was done, she slipped naturally into the dress, as if they'd been made for each other. In the middle of her quest for the perfect shoes, she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Yes?"
"I've got something for you"
"Come in"
Barry walked in wearing a tux and holding a box.
"New dress?"
"Yeah"
"Nice"
"Thanks"
If there was a device that measured a level of interest in people, it would not have moved during either line.
"Anyway, here, I've picked this up for you today."
She turned around and smiled at him, just as she was supposed to.
"Thank you." She took it and opened it. "It's beautiful"
She was just about to close it when he spoke again.
"Wear it tonight"
"It doesn't really go with-"
"Wear it" He cut her words.
She was silent and motionless for a few seconds. Then she handed him the box. He took the diamond necklace from it while she turned around. She watched him through the mirror as he proceeded to put it on her. As soon as he was done, he took a good look at her and all she saw in his eyes was approval. And then he was gone.
---
Rachel and Barry walked into the luxurious apartment together, her arm around his. The host spotted them as soon as they stepped in and approached. He was a tall man, somewhere after his sixties, white hair and all. Once or twice, Rachel could swear Jim Roberts had made a pass at her. She hadn't, but she could tell that if she had let Barry know about it, he would have been smitten. And she would not give him the satisfaction.
"Barry, hey!" the guys shook hands.
"Hey Jim, how are you?"
"Fantastic. And, oh, Rachel, always so beautiful"
Jim took the liberty of kissing Rachel's cheek.
"Thank you. It's a lovely party"
"Yeah, I guess you don't celebrate thirty-five years of marriage every day"
"Not at all, specially these days" Barry agreed.
Half an hour later, Rachel approached the bar, bored out of her mind. She hated that circle. Mostly old people, friends of Barry's parents. Since their passing the year before, Barry had filled up the social post of the Farber family, which meant Rachel had to accompany him to at least two events a month.
She didn't know those people. She scanned the room with a pair of very uninterested eyes. She still had the talent of standing there looking as if she was having fun, after all. On the process, though, her eyes caught someone else's. The chocolate brown set held her sight possibly under a spell. For some reason, she just couldn't look away. Emotionlessly, they looked at each other for maybe a good whole minute.
Finally, he smiled.
"Can I help you, Miss?"
The bartender's voice snapped her out of it. Disconcerted, she looked at him.
"Oh, hm. A Cosmopolitan, please"
"Coming right out."
And she was afraid to look back. Curiosity was not something she was used to, anymore. It was unsettling.
But after a few seconds, she surrendered to it. When she did looked back, though, he wasn't there anymore.
"Hey"
The voice startled her. She turned to her other side and saw him standing right next to her. Surprised, she took longer to reply.
"Hi"
The bartender returned with her drink.
"Here you go, Miss."
"Thank you."
"Can I get you anything, Sir?"
"Sure, a white wine spritzer, please"
"Alright"
When the bartender was busy again, they looked at each other.
"Hm..." he began, nervously. "Are you... Are you Rachel Green?"
"Yes" She replied cautionly, wondering how the stranger knew her. "Well..." she raised her left hand. "Green-Farber now"
"Oh" he chuckled.
"Why?"
"You don't remember me, do you?"
Rachel shook her head.
"I'm sorry..."
"That's OK, I didn't expect you to."
Rachel let her eyes take a better look. Maybe an old fling? God knows she had more than enough of those during her high school and college years. On the other hand... he didn't seem like the type she usually dated back then.
"It's Ross Geller. You know, Monica Geller's older brother, from high school."
"Oh." And she remembered Monica, who she hadn't seen since little time before her wedding. "Oh God, Monica, it's been such a long time."
"Yeah, yeah, I bet."
And she dug deeper into her memory and finally remembered him. Oh, sure, with the bad afro and mustage on her prom night. And the crush he used to have on her. She even vaguely remembered a day he'd attempted to kiss her, saying he needed some chap stick for it was a dry day.
She smiled.
"So... How is she?"
"She's good, she's good. She's a chef now, she's working at that place Alessandro's."
"Oh my God, I was there just the other night"
"Yeah. You should give her a call sometime, I'm sure she'll like hearing from you"
"Yeah, that would be nice."
And they kept looking at each other again, an unknown kind of tension rising up. Rachel looked away to search for Barry through the crowd. There he was, in a circle of men, laughing over something she knew that couldn't be ethical to deserve such reaction.
"So, what are you doing here?" she asked him.
"Mary Hannah's my wife Carol's Godmother. You?"
"She and Jim were close friend of my husband's parents"
"Right..."
"So, married, huh?"
"Yeah, it's been twelve years, got a five years old son. You?"
"Six years. No kids for us, though."
"Not even in the future?"
"Not built for it." she forced a smile.
He watched her smile create adorable dimples on her cheeks and felt something stirring inside of him. He couldn't deny the attraction he felt for her. Although, what did that mean those days, anyway? After all this time he'd gone by without passion, he felt himself getting hot over anybody. But Rachel... in a way, there was just a lot of history there. She was the first girl he ever thought of on his way of becoming a man, he'd spent many sleepless nights awake on his bed wishing she was his.
Damn, and she still looked hot.
But, anyway, at the end of the day each of them was still going home with their respective spouse. And that left him room for, again, just fantasy.
"Here you go, Sir"
Ross took his drink from the bartender.
"Thank you"
Rachel watched him as he took a sip. Something about his company made her unquiet.
"So what do you do now, Ross?"
"I'm currently working at the Museum of Natural History and giving a few special classes here and there at the NYU."
"Nice."
"Yeah. You?"
"Oh, I shop. That's what I do for a living."
They both laughed nervously.
"Well, good for you"
"Yeah" She smiled and looked down.
Silence fell upon them again. When she finally looked back at him, she realized his eyes had been wandering around some very intimate parts of her. And she liked it. Blushing, she tried to compose herself. It was not everyday something like that would actually flatter a woman like her.
"OK, everybody, dinner is served" a middle aged woman announced.
Ross and Rachel looked at each other.
"Well, I guess I'll talk to you later"
"Yeah. It was nice seeing you again"
"You too"
They held each other's eyes for a few quiet seconds before parting ways.
Yeah, of course you know where this is going :P haha. I hope you liked it. I really wanna engage myself in this fic after my past failtures here. You guys gotta help me out though. I work better and faster when I get feedback. I mostly stopped writing on the other stories because I didn't feel like people were reading or enjoying them. No fun for you, no fun for me. That's how it usually works. Hopefully you'll like this one though. I intend to make it kinda angst and as realistic and honest as I can. Now... click on that review button and write me something ;) Doesn't have to be anything inspiring, haha, as long as I know you're there. Mwah, thanks for reading!