Remember the days when we were younger? Remember the days when ignorance is bliss defined the world we lived in? Each day spent was just another we could remember forever as the best day of our lives. When fighting was limited to which movie we watched. When those who weren't fans kept themselves polite and respectful, because we were still young, and we hadn't given them any reason to hate us. Remember when the biggest gossip about us was whether or not we were dating?
Remember the days when we were just a little bit older? Remember the days when the bright and fluffy world around us began to harden. We were still happy, but we knew that the world wasn't as wonderful as the fairytale land we once lived in. The fighting had grown, but we didn't realize how much. We didn't see what was coming. We didn't know how much we needed each other. When the first rumor came out. Did you ever understand how much that hurt? During those long nights you would hold me until I cried myself to sleep? Because our bubble had burst. Because we no longer were seen as perfect and innocent.
Remember the day we broke up? Remember the tears that poured from brown and blue eyes alike? Remember how we decided to stay friends because it already hurt so much, we couldn't maintain the thought of complete separation. Remember my black hair? When each day was too difficult for words? When I learned what a broken heart felt like. When the walls around my world became like rock, holding me in and holding you out. When I didn't know what to do. I wanted to lose my squeaky clean image. I wanted to lose everything that was associated with the old me, because I had to learn to let go of the most important aspect of the old me. You.
I know you don't remember the way the dye stained my hands because you were no longer there. I know you don't remember the nights spent sobbing into my pillow on the bus, because I could no longer go to your warm and strong arms. I know you don't remember how I longed for you, because you were out with her, having fun. You do remember the scandals I caused. When Joe defended me, Kevin right beside him, and you, you said nothing. The face I love became granite, cold and expressionless. You were disappointed in me. I was disappointed in myself.
Remember when I slowly started to come back? Remember the first genuine smile that played across my face? Remember how my laugh came back? Even though you were no longer in my life, I know you remember these things. I know you were watching, waiting for me to recover so you could make it a little more obvious, make everyone realize what was going on with her. The walls began to crack, to crumble. I got people's forgiveness. I regained their respect. I got back almost all my success. An album full of songs about you. Songs people loved.
Remember the first time you saw me with him? Do you remember how you felt your heart twist, felt a small shadow of the pain you had felt not so long ago? Do you remember how you stared at us, shamelessly, while we laughed over something stupid? He helped bring me back to life. He helped me be happy. He helped my heart heal. He tore down every wall I had ever built. He gave me happiness again. But, more scandals erupted. He was too old, his past was too shady, he wasn't right for America's perfect little princess. I dated him anyway, because when I was with him, some of that old bliss returned.
Remember the day we went to lunch? Remember how much fun we had? I laughed so hard that my soda came out of my nose. That ridiculous little half-smile disappeared, and my Nicholas smiled again. I realized that as the walls were torn down, so was my façade. I did still love you. The first is the hardest to get over. I didn't let go. I didn't get over it. Our perfect little bubble formed, thin and unsteady, in a period of the few hours we spent together. But then it was back to reality, back to our separate lives. Back to our separate relationships. Although it was over between you and her, I still had him. I still liked him. I didn't love him, though.
Remember when you flew down to see me? Remember how we were once again single, and once again so madly in love? Remember how we lived in that old world, but somehow it was new? It was different. We weren't young and naive. But, we still felt the same. And we still felt perfect. Life was good. There was no fighting, no horrible haters, no magazine covers baring untrue rumors declared 100% true. Remember when we kissed for the first time in two years? Our lips met, our two wandering and longing souls rediscovering each other
Remember when we thought love was so simple? Remember when we didn't know that love meant sacrifice and pain but was still worth it because it made you so happy that nothing could bring you down? Remember when we went our separate ways, growing and learning, and then somehow coming back together because we knew that we were supposed to be in each other's lives? Remember all the horrible words exchanged, and then how forgiveness was given completely and wholly.? Remember how it felt to be separated, and remember when we got back together and had to get to know each other all over again? Remember the new scars, the new pain, and the new love we shared?
Do you remember? Because I will never, never forget.
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