My first story.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight (why would I!)
Scene one
(Bella and Edward are beside a car; Edward has his hand on the car leaning towards Bella who is pretty much lying on the floor.)
Bella: What just happened?
Edward: A car almost hit you, you should be more careful. Your lucky I was with you.
Bella: But… wait a minute you were just standing by your car.
Edward: No I wasn't! I was just talking to you.
Bella (sitting up and poking Edward): Don't lie to me! Okay?! You don't want to make me mad.
Edward: I swear I'm not lying to you.
(Bella slaps Edward)
Edward: What was that for? I just saved you!
Bella: I don't need your freaking help!!!
(Bella slaps him again) (Emmett comes in)
Emmett screams: CAT FIGHT!!!!!!
Edward: I am not a girl Emmett!
Emmett (confused): Who said you're a girl?
Edward: You did. Why Emmett... why do you have to be so mean! (pretends to sob)
Emmett: Pssh you're on crack gurl! My name is Billy Bob Joe the Third.
(Alice and Rosalie in the background talking)
Alice: Rose do you think we should help him.
Rose: Who Edward or "Billy Bob Joe the Third".
Alice: No Edward, you bimbo.
Rose: Shorty don't you know Edwards a big boy or in this case a big girl.
Edward shouts out like a little girl: Mommy!!!
(Esme comes in)
Edward: Tell them to stop making fun of me! (stomps his foot)
Esme: Edward, you should be able to handle yourself, your 109 years old. Whats wrong with you boy? (Esme puts her hand on her hip)
Emmett says in a singsong voice while running away: Eddy-poop Eddy-poop!!!!!!
Edward: I will get you Billy Bob Joe the Third!
Later that night at Bella's house
(Bella is asleep, snoring) (Emmett comes in)
Emmett: Bella, oh Bella?
Sleepy Bella: Is that you Edward?
Emmett: Yes Bella, it's me (in a girly voice)
Sleepy Bella: Oh Edward give me a kiss.
Emmett: Say what now?!
Sleepy Bella: A kiss.
Emmett: Nope, but I have a better idea (Emmett gets closer and Edward climbs in from the window)
Edward: Emmett (looks at Emmett likes he's crazy) what are you doing?
Emmett: Ahh! Elmo! Ahh! Um... spider?! UH! EDWARD!!! (hides in Bella's closet)
Edward: Emmett don't make me ask again.
Emmett: I can't hear you, I'm blocking my mind.
Edward: Barney's a dude in a costume.
(Emmett comes out of the closet)
AN: Now that i think about it... thats so gay.
Emmett: How can you say that! Lies! All LIES! (starts to throw Bella at Edward)
Edward: Do you want me to call Rose.(Taking Bella from Emmett)
Sleepy Bella: Mario, is that you darling? No more mushrooms please.
Emmett mouths to Edward: Mario
(Edward shugs)
Edward wishpers: Leave. Now.
Emmett: Why? So you, Bella, and Mario can have some time alone. I don't think so.
Edward: There is no Mario you pansy.
Emmett gasps: How can you say that?
Edward: Pansy
Emmett gasps again and again, while he does that he falls out the window sceaming "I'm coming for you barney." Suddenly there is a loud crashing noise.
Emmett: I'm okay!
Edward: No duh. Were vampires, we can't die from falling out the window. Durh!
Emmett (mocking tone): Oh really? I thought we drank animal blood for FUN!
THE END OR NOT IF I FEEL LIKE IT
GOSH!!!