ch. 1

The first few weeks were but a blur. A sleepy, hollow, ugly haze of nothingness...that's what life had instantaneously become for not onlu Michonne, but especially her.

Dull, in robot- like motion, Michonne went about doing the bare minimum of work that she needed in order to survive.the others had noticed, and discussed this. On behalf of the ragtag group of survivors, Carol, alongside Daryl, went to talk to Michonne.

Both long time friends of Rick Grimes, Daryl and Carol each had their own issues and rich history with Rick. Their friendships with Rick had been individually tested and strained at times...but both Carol and Daryl loved Rick. They had made sacrifices, examined their time with Rick, learned from him...most importantly of all, they had loved Rick Grimes

Carol looked at Daryl as they approached a prone- laying Michonne on her bed. She was covered not in blankets, but in layers of Rick's clothing.

Carol closed her eyes. She herself understood all too well the pain that grief over a loved one brings. Carol had lost many people around her since all of the walkers started turning up. Ed..well, she hadn't shed one single tear over her late husband. She'd used up those tears while he was alive..when he hit her..when he tormented her verbally and physically.

This grief Carol was feeling..it was different than what she's experienced over even her closest of friends' deaths. It was a low growling, persistent ache that she felt every waking second of her day and even as she slept. She hasn't felt this much pain since losing Sophia.

Daryl saw that Carol was struggling to say her peace to Michonne, and he above anyone else in their inner circle knew what Carol was dealing with. He was there. He knew Sophia. He had seen Carol with her daughter, cooking, doing laundry, reading books to her.

He was there when Sophia disappeared. God ( if one ever existed) knew Daryl tried like hell to find Sophia.

And he was there when the last trace of Sophia was forever destroyed.

It had been just Rick, Daryl and Carol who's known Sophia when she was alive.

And now...that number had decreased dramatically.

"I won't even ask how you're doing," Carol said deceptively calm. "We came to see you..to check onJudith. There just aren't enough words to say..."

"She is sleeping." Michonne shushed as she moved back a layer of Rick's clothing, revealing that had beem cuddled up with Judith.

"Come. She needs her sleep. Let's step outside the room," Carol encouraged her friend. Michonne lovingly smoothed Judith's hair, and after a minute she followed Carol and Daryl.

She quietly shut the door. "What?"

"We want to take Judith back to the Kingdom . Justfor a little while." Carol suggested. " I imagine you're not getting much sleep."

Michonne stared blankly at them, as if she couldnt process what Carol had said to her. And she was in such a state of hazy confusion, pain, sorrow...it was no wonder Carol repeated her request.

"just for a bit. A week or two. We have food. Things are calm right now. "

"Why?" Michonne growled. "Don't you trust me with Judith? i love that child as if she were my own. She is my child. just as she was Rick's. I bathe her, feed her, I am busting my ass providing her with a sense of security. I'm answering her questions..even though I don't have the answers. I keep a vigilant eye out on her. day and night I am watching her..."

"We know." Daryl spoke up. " She is your daughter. Ain't none of us questioning that. She's yours and his.."

And even now, Daryl himself couldn't bring himself to speak Rick's name.

Struggling with his own loss and emotions, Daryl hung his head down. he never was great with words. Rick, on the other hand, would have known just what to say. He had the most remarkable way of words, ome of many reasons he was so beloved.

"Ezekiel..he's wonderful with kids. Henry has taken to calling him Dad. He asked about calling me Mom. I'm not sure that can ever happen. But Michonne..we love you. We love Judith. We want to help you.." Carol smiled faintly.

" I don't need your help! I'm not weak! I dont need anyone's help!" Michonne started

"Michonne, not one person thinks you're weak. I know all about weak. I'm weak," Carol started to choke up. "i couldn't protecr my own daughter. I could have, but I was too scared and too weak to do a damn thing to save her. And every day..every damn day since then..i go over and over in my mind..what could I have done differently? What I should have done...I blame no one but myself for Sophia's death. No one can tell me otherwise. It's the truth. The hardest damn truth I have to live with. And I have a lot of ugly truths to face when I look in the mirror."

Even Daryl..who knew Carol better than anyone in the world did, was taken aback at the pain and self loathing she displayed

He got that, though. He knew those feelings all too well himself.

"Hey. It's Carol. She will take good care of Judith. She did before." When Daryl said that, Michonne instantly in her mind back to a different time...when they had left the prison. she would always remember how happy Rick was when Carol had reunited him with Judith. Michonne had never quite pinpointed when she had fallen in love with Rick Grimes, but that reunion certainly had made an impact on her perception of Rick, to be sure.

Michonne wanted to protest, but she started to collapse. Daryl helped Michonne back to her bed, while Carol started to gather some of Judith's belongings.

This was a dark time for everyone. Little did anyone know that sometimes out of the darkest of nights could a bright, bright star begin to shine...

tbc