Warning: This fiction includes a whole shit load of Swearing, mainly from a familiar blonde pilot. If you don't like cursing, I suggest you go away.
Author's Notes: This story is to my friend 'Jadeonyx' on Deviantart. It's part of an art trade that gained me a picture of Xera for my Origins of Odin story. Originally, I was required to do a fiction focusing on Tidus. And I was like 'WTF! Tidus? I can't get into the minds of any FFX or FFX2 character except for Paine. How am I supposed to write a story about Tidus?' Then she was like, 'Stop being so emo. Throw him in with characters you are used to.' Then it hit me… Kingdom Hearts is FULL of characters I am used to. And thus we started talking, and so became this.
Oh yeah, DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy, any of the characters, Square-Enix, Disney or Kingdom Hearts… But I am saving up to buy the rights to Sephiroth's ass. I also don't own Tetsuya Nomura, but I love his work. Tetsuya, don't be mad at me for what happens… Be mad at Yuffie. I also don't own Lance Bass, but I want to hurt him. How dare he do Sephiroth's voice? Nor do I own Playstation2. You get it right?
"Shit! I fucking hate this damn game!" came a gruff voice from the door. A few female voices chuckled in response.
"Calm down Cid," came the gentler voice of Aeris over the noise of the two giggling girls.
"Calm down?" he shouted as he stormed over to the table where the three females where seated. "How the FUCK can I calm down? Square-Enix threw us in this shit hole with lots of cute, cuddling and totally disgusting shit-heads! And then they say I can't swear, I can't smoke, and I can't get drunk?"
This resulted in a barely stifled giggle from the female to Aeris's left who was busy painting her nails. "You think that is bad Cid? There is no materia in this place! And there is only you to bug, because there is no Vinny or Barret, and I'm sure not going to try annoying THOSE three." The Wutain ninja pointed towards three other males, two of whom were talking and sharpening their swords and the third of which was leaning against the wall, scowl in place.
"Damnit Yuffie!" the blonde yelled, "You still got all the rest of the shit you do. You gossip, flirt, and you play that weird game with those two morons over there!"
The two males mentioned looked up. One had vibrant orange hair, yellow clothes and a large blue and white ball in his hands. The other was a blonde with equally odd clothes and a really big blue sword.
"Who you callin' a moron?" the orange haired one asked. "If anyone here is a moron, it's you, ya?"
The blonde beside the orange haired male laughed.
"Oh shut the fuck up Tidus!" Cid shouted. "You too Wakka."
"Least you didn't have to be a damn kid in the game," Tidus shot back before going back to trying to explain the complexities of the Jecht shot to Wakka.
"Ciddy, you should just calm down. Come on and sit with us! We can play truth or dare!" came the voice of the only female to ever be more hyper than Yuffie Kisaragi.
"Shove it Selphie!" Cid roared before going to the bar to pour himself a double shot of vodka and light up a cigarette or five.
The hyper girl frowned and looked severely depressed, and when the pilot turned to see her he let out a sigh. "Listen, I'm sorry Selphie. I didn't mean it like that."
"Don't let the innocent act fool you," came a strong, but quiet voice from the corner where a scarred brunette was standing. "She's plotting a horrible prank as revenge."
"Probably right," Cloud agreed with the younger male before he put aside his sword. "She looks like the menacing type. You gotta watch out for those 'cute' ones. They are the REAL trouble."
This caused Aeris to chuckle. The remark was an obvious shot at Sephiroth, who Tidus and Wakka always teased for 'being to cute to be a guy'. Yet the silver haired General did not make a comment, he merely went on with sharpening the masamune in a very scary manner. This caused everyone, even Cid, to erupt into laughter.
Soon silence reigned again and Yuffie jumped out of her seat. "I have an idea! Let's play poker. Whoever wins everyone else's gil has to order the pizza, and then goes, kidnaps Tetsuya Nomura and gets to slap him around for letting them put us in this damn game!"
Sephiroth grinned and leaned masamune against the wall. "I am in. How dare he let them use Lance Bass to voice me?"
"At least you were in the game…" came a voice from the doorway out into the Playstation2. Reeve Tuesti and Vincent Valentine stood there, scowling at the assembled characters.
"VINCENT!" Yuffie shouted before tackling the former Turk. He pushed her off of him in annoyance. The man looked a lot smaller without his cape on.
"I came for my cape," Vincent growled at Cloud. The blonde looked around nervously, "Um… Well, you see…"
"Told you he stole it," Reeve said in annoyance. "Wants all the glory I guess. Amazing that he didn't decide that he'd steal Cait too."
"Um… Well," Cloud started, only to be cut off by Squall.
"Cait? You mean that cat plushie he sleeps with?"
Sephiroth had his turn to burst out laughing. "He sleeps with a cat robot?"
Reeve's face darkened. "Give us back our things Cloud."
"Um…" Cloud began. "Hey, is that Hades calling me? I better run!" With that the blonde bolted out the door, preferring to risk whatever horrors existed in the videogame currently being played on the Playstation2.
"Okay…" Aeris said. "So, you two wanna join us in a game of poker?"
"If Aeris is gambling, then I'm sure as hell in," Reeve said before pulling Cloud's vacated seat to the table.