Crave.
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It's the first time she feels something for him; something besides friendship, besides family, besides a harmless, platonic, brotherly love. The first time Renesmee looks at Jacob, her childhood best friend, and feels something else. Desire. Lust. Yearning. Need.
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She turned her head on her fluffy pillow, reveling in the way her soft, cool sheets felt against her flushed cheeks. They burned with embarrassment as her mind raced with these new, scary but exhilarating thoughts.
Listening, she fought to use the tricks Alice had taught her over the years to keep her father out of her mind. She knew her father couldn't help it – she couldn't imagine that he would actually want to hear inside the mind of his daughter a majority of the time, but couldn't stop the constant barrage of voices in his head when surrounded by people.
I guess that's why mom is so comforting to him, she thought.
She was in her cottage bedroom, attempting to find sleep. Her parents had been reading in the living room after she had retired for the night, but she was hoping they would leave her for awhile. Renesmee just wanted to be alone with her thoughts tonight.
Sighing, she hummed an illogical melody in her head to block him out. Part of her mind concentrated; she could hear her parents as they started to put down their books in preparation for one of their nightly 'runs'. Cringing, she wrinkled her nose as she tried not to think about what that meant. Nightly runs had always had a different meaning to Renesmee that it would for most teenagers. It gave her happiness to know that her parents were still so in love that they could barely go a day without having their 'alone time'. Most of all, she was glad that they always left the house to do so. Yes, nightly runs were a necessity for Edward and Bella. Not that she could blame them; lately, she had wanted to take up the same activity with a completely forbidden person in her life.
Her cheeks burned once again with embarrassment.
When they finally left the cottage, she couldn't have been more relieved. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Glancing up at the ceiling, she bit her lip as she silently thanked God that they would be gone for a few hours. It was bad enough to listen to her own mind think such shamefull thoughts; it would have been completely mortifying for her father to have to hear them too.
As if on cue, she heard the familiar sound of padded feet as they walked up to her bedroom window. Jacob.
He probably thought she was already asleep. She listened some more as his wolf form walked up to his worn spot underneath the window, just below the hanging flowerbox that hung there. Heaving a sigh, he took his place as her protector in the back of the flowerbed, just behind the day lilies. The large wolf grunted as he turned in a circle before plopping down. She smiled to herself as she heard him hang his tongue out the side of his mouth, panting a few times as he surveyed the area around the cottage.
Snuggling down deeper in her bed, she was happy to finally be alone with her thoughts as she heard her parent's footsteps fading into the night. It would be hours before they would return, and Jacob knew this. He spent most nights curled under her window as a wolf, or snoring loudly on their living room couch as a human.
Well, he is my protector. And my best friend…I should be ashamed of myself.
Her mind drifted what had happened earlier.
They had been out on the hunt that day, both of them eager to play their old game of 'who can catch the biggest meal'. Laughing gleefully, she forced her bare feet to move even faster against the mossy ground as they bounded through the forest together. Slightly behind her was Jacob, who was in wolf form. He crashed through the underbrush that she had just darted through without so much as ruffling a leaf.
Her giggles echoed against the tall trees as she ran, sliding to a halt in front of one of their favorite hot springs. Up in the mountains, the steaming hot pools of water were quite common; most of them boasting warm enough water to swim in throughout the year.
She glanced behind her shoulder to hear Jacob approaching her at a rapid pace. Shaking her head, she peeled off her long sleeved t-shirt to reveal a tight black tank top that clung to her sides. Peeling off her jeans, she felt a pang of nervousness as she glanced down at the bright pink boy short underwear she was donning.
Why did she feel so nervous for Jake to see her in something like that? Shaking her head, she tried to push the errant thought away. Just weeks before at her birthday party, she had worn the tiniest black bikini she owned in front of all her family and friends; this outfit was like a nun's habit compared to that thing.
For her birthday, Esme had converted the entire back yard into a giant slip and slide for Renesmee and her wolf pack friends, and she would never forget Jacob's reaction to seeing her that scantily clad. He had been jealous. Jealous that his pack mates saw that much of her exposed. It had been unmistakable.
Satisfaction had swelled in her when he jumped in front of her pale body, shielding her from the rest of his brothers. Any appreciative hoots and cat calls had received a low, warning growl from Jacob as his large, hot body pressed up against hers, shielding her.
"Nessie…everyone can…every can see you in that thing!" he had growled in a panic.
That was when it had happened. She had looked up at him, fire in her eyes and anger in her chest at him for wanting to act like such a parent to her. However, when her brown eyes met his steadily darkening ones, something else had happened. A shift in the universe; a crack down the center of her foundation. The look in his eyes was not one of a best friend or a big brother.
But had she misread it? No, certainly not. That day, her sixth birthday, something had changed when she saw him looking at her. They had stood on the lawn, Jacob hovering in front of her protectively, glancing around at his pack mates to make sure none of them were ogling her…it made her want him in a way that was entirely new.
As she stood in front of the hot springs then in her underwear and a tank top, a guilty feeling had washed over her. It wasn't right of her to think of Jacob that way. He was her best friend, her protector...he was like a brother. A shiver had run down her spine when she realized that she clearly did not have 'sisterly' feelings for him any longer.
She had thrown her clothes back on with her vampire speed, quickly deciding that she wasn't ready for Jacob to see her like this again so soon. She needed to sort some of these things out first.
Now, lying in her bed, with her best friend on the other side of the wall, her feelings felt more tumultuous than ever. It was strange, yet exhilarating to think of Jacob like that. Renesmee had always thought he was incredibly beautiful – but now she realized it was in an entirely different way.
They way his sculpted, tawny muscles all worked together to create the loveliness that was his body. The way a bead of sweat would travel from his neck, bending and molding to his brawn plains as it slid down his chiseled chest. They way his beautiful light brown eyes would darken with intensity…
No. This isn't right. I can't think about him like this…
But she wanted to.
Should I feel like this? Why do I feel so guilty and wrong?
Shaking her head, she pressed the back of her cool hand against her forehead as she tried to relax. One more year. One more year, and she would be full grown, seven years old. Granted, she was no normal six year old now, however…but she couldn't imagine that things wouldn't change when she was full grown.
Maybe then Jacob would notice her. Maybe then he would be able to help her satisfy and tame the aching need that had begun to stir throughout her body when he was around. Maybe then he would see her as a woman and not some silly little girl that he was bound to protect.
Jacob had always been around as her protector and companion. That was the price he paid to be near his first best friend, which was her mother Bella. Renesmee realized early on that Jacob had been assigned the role of vampire babysitter and bodyguard after the Volturi had taken an interest in her so many years ago. Jacob had always taken his duty in stride, or at least he had in Renesmee's eyes. He never complained when he had to take her to hunt, or entertain her, or play with her. He had always seemed to love to be around her, and she couldn't deny that. Jacob took his role as her protector very seriously.
But now, she wanted him to play a very different role.
I feel like such a pervert lying in here, fantasizing about him…he's sleeping under my window for heaven's sake! I would absolutely die if he knew I had a crush on him. Wait…wow…I sound like a silly little girl from one of Alice's romantic comedies. I have a crush. On him. Jacob Black. I have a crush on Jacob Black.
"Nessie?"
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she realized that Jacob was standing in the dark, moonlit doorway of her bedroom.
"J-Jake?" She gasped, sitting up. His face went from questioning to relaxed as a tight smile crossed his lips. He strode over to her bed in the darkness, plopping down at her feet. The mattress bounced slightly, making her crack a tight smile.
His hot hand connected with her flushed face, and his calloused thumb began making soothing circles on her cheek. Renesmee leaned into his touch, trying to slow her thrumming heart as it raced in her chest.
"You okay Ness?" he asked softly, pulling his hand away. She opened her eyes at the sudden loss of contact, and was greeted with his concerned expression as he waited for her answer.
"Uh, yeah, why?"
Jacob gave her a knowing smile. "I heard you in here...you were really restless, and I didn't want you to have a nightmare," he said simply. Her heart swelled at his protectiveness.
Now if only he was protective of me because he returned my feelings, and not just because he's my best friend.
"I'm okay," she mumbled, pulling the blanket up around her further. He watched her for a moment, his own heartbeat speeding up slightly. Their eyes met again, and she blinked in surprise as she watched his irises darken steadily in the dim light. He smiled awkwardly, and then stood to leave.
"No, wait!" she said, her hand darting out to grab his arm. He turned, his tall frame towering over her bed.
"What is it, Ness?"
"Stay here," she heard herself say. She knew it was a stupid, rash decision on her part to ask him to stay, but she couldn't help it. For some reason, she just wanted him close right now.
Jacob glanced out her window, then back to the doorway of her room. "They're gone, they will be for hours, and you know it," she laughed.
Jacob turned to look at her, a smile dancing on his face. "Ew," he groaned, and the two of them shared a laugh. His deep, throaty gut laugh made her smile even bigger, and she tightened her grip on his hand to pull him back down onto her bed.
"I'm gonna break this thing," he mumbled, sitting down on the mattress. She giggled again, butterflies moving around in her stomach as he laid down next to her, offering his arm out as a pillow to her. She gladly accepted, lying down and pulling her copper curls out of the way. With a sigh, she placed her head on his t-shirt clad chest, breathing a sigh of relief. She just didn't want to be away from him right now.
"Why do you always wear t-shirts now?" she asked absently, glancing up at him. In the past year, Jacob had begun donning shirts more and more often than not, which perplexed her.
"Uh…why do you wear t-shirts?" he joked, ruffling her hair with his free hand. She sighed against his chest, pressing her nose into it as she inhaled. His scent immediately calmed her, and she wondered vaguely if he realized that.
"Jake," she mumbled, an annoyed tone to her voice.
"Because I want to," he said.
"Isn't it hot?"
"You can't handle the hotness over here," he laughed, turning his head to stare at the ceiling. She recognized through his joking responses that she wasn't going to get a straight answer from him about it.
Disappointment surged through her, and she quickly folded her hands together to avoid accidently showing him something embarrassing. Jacob leaned over, pressing his hot lips to her forehead. For a rough and tough were wolf, he sure knew how to kiss her softly.
As he drifted off to sleep, she couldn't help but wish that he was kissing her mouth like that; soft, gentle, and full of adoration. Renesmee pressed her lips together as she wished her feelings for him had never changed. Now everything was so complicated from wanting him so badly.
She listened as Jacob's breathing slowed, signaling to her that he was close to falling asleep. Opening her eyes, she looked up and saw his start to droop closed. He looked…tired, but peaceful.
Her mind drifted as she listened to his breathing even out while he slept. Jacob snored softly, and she nuzzled her head into his chest even further to help calm her frazzled mind. How had her feelings for him changed so quickly? How was that even fair? It certainly didn't seem fair to her that things had changed so rapidly. One day, he was her best friend, a purely platonic member of her family that had always just been there. She could conjure up the memory of their first meeting without a second thought. However, she didn't understand why her own feelings for him had changed in just a matter of a few days. It had taken her almost that long to come to terms with the fact that she now viewed him as something else entirely…something secret, something forbidden…
Jacob snored again lightly, turning his head to press his nose into the top of her head. He inhaled long and evenly, exhaling his sweet breath on her as he slept. It washed over her, further igniting her already tumultuous thoughts.
She was instantly envious that he could be that way. So relaxed and nonchalant around her. It didn't seem fair that he could just live and exist as he had before, and she was left with everything else. The longing. The need. The craving.
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Well there it is! I hope you enjoyed my first 'one hour-1 shot' challenge. That's right – I only gave myself one hour to write this, so go easy on me. It's a new thing I'm trying when I have writer's block for my other stories. It was just was just a fun, light thing I did last night to be productive and switch things up a bit.
This story CAN be a companion to 'Untouchable' as a bit of a prequel – so if you haven't read the full story, please do so! For those of you who asked me to continue this story, please look on my profile - the story is in progress and is already up - Untouchable! It can also stand alone as a simple Jake/Nessie 1shot.
Hope you all enjoyed it! I'd love to hear your thoughts on my first '1 hour,1shot' challenge.
