i do not own Harry Potter. Obviously. If I did, I wouldn't be on here.

XXX

"Dray, Stop. Stop. Please?"

"Harry, why stop? We stop every single time. I don't want to stop this time."

But nevertheless, Draco Malfoy rolled off of Harry. They always got to a certain point and he always felt Harry's body lock up and refuse to follow the motions Draco made. Draco never asked why, he just listened to the pleas to stop coming from the boy below him. He always wanted to know why Harry pushed him away, why there was always a fear that came out. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to know, he didn't want to make Harry tell him. But he needed to know what he was doing ~wrong.

"Harry. Can I ask you a question?" Draco asked timidly.

"I. Yeah. Sure Draco. Ask away."

"Why don't…Why can't we….Why do you always want to stop?"

Draco heard Harry intake sharply, and immediately regretted his decision to ask a question at all. But he knew that the had to be something. He waited for Harry to say anything. Draco stared at Harry, and noticed small tears had began to fall form the corners of his eyes.

"Harry? Harry, what is it love?"

Draco was scared that he had touched upon something much deeper than he was prepared to deal with. But he wiped the tears out of his boyfriend's eyes. He was surprised when Harry jumped at the touch of Draco's hand. Draco removed his hand and looked forward. He could see Harry open and close his mouth three times before he actually spoke.

"I don't know how to say this. I don't know how to tell you this story Dray. You won't ever want to touch me again. So in case that happens, I want to do something first."

Harry got on his knees and brought his face to Draco's. He kissed Draco passionately, wanting to keep this taste in his mouth. The only time everything was okay was when he was kissing Draco. But quickly, Draco tried to remove Harry's cloak, and Harry pulled away. Draco sighed, even though he was breathing heavily. He sat back against Harry's pillows and waited for Harry to start talking. Harry filled his lungs the best that he could, and began.

"Draco. I've never told anyone this. I don't know how I'm going to tell you of all people, but. I don't think that I ever told you much about my cousin Dudley. Probably not at least. Well. He's gay. He's been gay since we were kids. But my aunt and uncle don't know that. Hell, they don't know anything. Twice last summer, my aunt and uncle took us camping. We slept in the same tent. Me and my cousin I mean. I was almost asleep when I felt him moving around next to me. Then the next thing I knew he was on top of me. His thighs were against my stomach and his face was in front of mine. He shoved his tongue in my mouth and played around in my mouth until I cooperated. He touched me everywhere that hands you don't want shouldn't go. My clothes were off and he was telling me about how disgusting I was and how much wasn't even worth his time. How no one would ever want me. Especially after what he was about to do to me. He pulled my body against his and flipped me over. Then he was inside of me. I could feel my insides ripping as he pushed harder and faster. I didn't even scream. I didn't yell. I just laid quietly, and cried. I waited until he finished, until he removed himself, covered in my blood and his own excretions. He looked. He looked ~pleased at taking my innocence. It was the only thing that I had that he didn't. And he wanted it. And he took it. He did the same thing the next night, except it was rougher. To the point where I could do nothing but scream in pain. But no one heard me. No one ever hears me. He raped me. And you're the only person who knows. I can't. Your hands, your touch. It reminds me of him. I can't, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Draco was silent. Hoe could this have happened to the one boy that Draco could ever see himself caring about? What was he supposed to say to that? Harry had just told him something horrible, and Draco couldn't find anything to say back.

"Draco. I. I. It's okay. It was my fault. I should've yelled more. I should've fought harder. He was right. No one can love me after this. I'm disgusting."

Harry started to cry. He lost himself completely in the story, and now it was all hitting him again. He pulled himself into a ball and hid his face. Draco was torn. If he touched Harry, there was a chance that Harry could become frightened. But Draco's better judgment kicked in, and he moved himself closer to Harry. He put just one arm on Harry's shoulders, and when Harry didn't jump, Draco pulled him into his arms. This seemed to only make Harry cry harder, but he didn't pull away.

"Harry I need to tell you something, okay?"

Harry silently nodded and nuzzled his face further into Draco's cloak.

"Harry, it doesn't matter to me what he did to you. That doesn't make you who you are. You couldn't have stopped him, he would have only hurt you more. It doesn't matter to me if he took your innocence, because if we ever get that point, it will be different. It will be on ~your terms, on our terms. What matters to me is here, now. And how much I love you, and hate to see you hurt." Draco was watching the boy in his arms. Harry Potter, the boy who beat Voldemort as a baby, shaking helpless in his arms. "Harry, I. I ant to be with you. Always. I love you. Nothing ~anyone could do will ever change that. I want to erase him, and the feeling of him."

"Then do it." Harry said quietly.

"Do what?"

"Erase him. Make me forget what he did to me. Right now. We're in my bed, make me forget him and remember you."

Harry quickly put his lips to Draco's. He tried to remove Draco's cloak, but Draco caught his hands and pushed him away.

"Harry, Harry stop. Not now. Not because you want to erase him. I want to do it when you're ready to move on, not because you need to forget."

Harry started to cry before Draco had even finished.

"You. You. Don't want me. You lied to me."

"Harry, no, no that's not it. You're still in pieces. And us doing anything right now will only break you into pieces that I can't fix. I need to be able to put you back together love, I have to."

Harry was silent for a long time. He was still laying on Draco's chest, breathing in sync.

"Draco?" Harry whispered.

"Yes, my love?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, no matter what."