Out of this World

by ScarecrowDT

A/N: This is a satire with a light hint of sarcasme which I wrote in an hour or so as a response for my feelings after I skipped through 833 Kakasaku completed romance stories.

WARNING: Sarcasm alert. Don't like that, than definitely don't read this.

'So you see, Sakura had a major traumatic experience.' Tsunade explained.

Kakashi nodded. 'I understand. The last person who was attack by the fearsome broccoli was put in a mental ward the very next day. I'll make sure that nothing happens to her on my watch.'

'Good, as I expected from her sensei. It's a shame her parents just went a weekend to Vegas, Naruto is busy with a ramen contest, and Sai & Sasuke are running around somewhere. Also, Ino needed to go to a beauty salon this weekend and Tenten and Hinata are on a mission. She could've stayed with me, but you know the tough life of a hokage doesn't allow it and Shizune is busy at the hospital… I'm glad she can stay safely at your place.'

'Well, you know..everything for my favourite student.'

'Okay, so I will leave you to it.' Tsunade nodded and walked out the door.

'So, I'm going with you? There was no one else?' Sakura sighed, bed ridden. Still tired from her horror story.

Kakashi chuckled, 'I know that as your 14-year-old sensei this might not be exactly appropriate, but we've know each other for over a decade. We'll be fine.' His eye formed his famous happy-eye crease. 'However, there is one thing..'

'What is it?' Sakura spoke anticipative.

'Well, my bathroom is so spectacular you'll definitely forget to bring fresh clothes for after showering, which would mean that you'll have to walk in a way too short towel from the bathroom to the other side of the apartment because That is of course where your drawer with clothes is located…' Kakashi pondered as he lifted Sakura's bag and walked after her, out of the hospital room and on their way to his home.

'Oh well, then you can admire my backside every time I walk by, that's not so bad right? I mean, as a shinobi I'm totally not muscled and no scars of course, the perfect model of a girl. Some say I'm even prettier than Ino. And besides, You're my friend! Things don't get weird between friends when you see them ogling you! Sakura said happily.

'Ah well, you're right' Kakashi smiled and held the hospital's main entrance door for her open. 'Oh yeah, by the way, if you see a picture or object you don't know anything about, just ask! I'll tell you my whole background story!'

'Wow, seriously? All I had to do was ask all those years?'

'Neh, I decided last week that it's actually not that much of a big deal anymore. So I will just tell you.'

'Awesome! Oh yeah, don't go walking around shirtless, it will make me swoon.'

'Oh, ok, that's a shame..It's only January and minus 15 degrees at night so I only sleep in my boxers…'

'That's alright, I mean, your room is not the same room as mine so I won't be able to see anyways. You can sleep in your boxers in peace.'

'But aren't you going to climb in my bed at night so that you can feel my strong and safe body when you have a nightmare about those horrible broccolis, who are of course much more scarier than my demons of the past?'

'I almost forgot that…Well, it is true that as your pretty womanly roommate I'm supposed to call for your help and fall in love with you, right?

'Yeah, but while you do that and admire my muscular body, could you not forget to water my plant Mr. Ukki or to spill coffee on my Icha Icha? That will not make me happy.'

'Okay, done deal.'

'Oh yeah, btw, Tsunade took me of the mission roster so I'll be home all day to keep an eye on you. So, don't worry if that nasty broccoli has decided to jump out of my refrigerator, I'll be there to comfort you.'

'Geej, Thanks Kakashi-sensei. You're truly the best.'

'Oh wait, we forgot one thing.' Kakashi stopped walking in the middle of a busy market. 'What about the mask?'

'What about the mask?'

'Well, you know, I wear it only when I go out of the house, because that's completely logical and also the reason why no one but a few have seen my face.'

'You show your face?!' Sakura exclaimed but it was soon transformed in a sigh. 'Let me guess, you let your ladies see it, don't you? She started walking again and Kakashi followed after.

'Of course. I sleep around a lot because that's what people do, having one night stands and such. You know I'm that I'm such a guy. Don't you see how often I'm social and flirty with people. Besides, this face is one of the main reasons I can get my ladies.' Kakashi said smugly.

'So, you do have the face of a god under there?' Sakura pried whilst eyeing him curiously.

'Of course, what did you expect? That I wore this mask for some disfiguring or some kind of sentimental reason? Don't make me laugh…'

'Oh wait, I feel a question coming I've already asked you a hundred times and the final time should actually come right out of the blue…but since we're already on it..'

'Just say the words, Sakura. Those 5 magical words.'

Sakura took a deep breath.

'Ok, here I come.'

'…'

'Can I see your face?' Sakura crossed her fingers in the hope of good fortune as Kakashi rubbed his cheek, thinking aloud, 'Well, I am kind of attracted to you and you are to me. And it won't be like you'll see a different person when I take my mask off…nope, the opposite. You'll be quiet in amazement and completely struck by love.'

'So? …What's your answer?'

'If I say yes, will you fall in love with me then?'

'Probably.'

'That means that if I show you my face, we can skip all the out of our world situations, the clichés and the out of character actions… and simply just start dating?

'Well…yes.'

'So..the mask solves everything?'

'Yes. Everything.' Sakura encouraged.

'Uhm..Okay.' And with that Kakashi stopped walking and pulled his mask down, Sakura fell immediately deep in love with the man and they kissed, which lead to marriage and making babies and they lived happily ever after.

The End

Based on reviews, I've got enough material for a sequel.

For the folks who were shocked by the high amount of sarcasm: I told you so ^^