I couldn't drop 'Catch Me When I Fall' ...there wasn't a kiss in the end. I'm a true romantic at heart so I just had to write a kiss. So here is my debut of a kiss scene!
I hope you like it, and any advice you have to offer would be very appreciated. I'm a person who loves improvement.
Once again, I still am inexperienced with the format and line breaks...so just bear with me here!
Disclaimer - I don't own this and I never will. The characters belong to Thomas Harris. The psychology aspect belongs to Freud. I am merely borrowing to calm my explosive thinking, and am not making any profit whatsoever.
Title: As Much Time Needed
Author: Aurelius Eden Sage
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Language, Sexuality
Summary: Sequel to 'Catch Me When I Fall'. In which Starling has to deal with a physically present Doctor Lecter as well as her own newly discovered desires. 'It doesn't have to be tedious, Clarice. Just tell me what you need.'
Notices: Rated for discussion of the psychological aspect of sex, as well as minor sexuality. Nothing totally explicit. If you're uncomfortable, then don't read it.
His touch electrified her. With that brush on her shoulder, Starling was propelled back to those days of tedious sticky fumblings in the backseats of cars, tugging at those elastic waistbands with clumsy fingers, and feeling a strange sense of accomplishment when the task was finally finished. Teenage sexuality, in Starling's mind, was dirty, gritty, inexperienced, and all about instant gratification. Slight shyness and innocence can be found somewhere in that shady collage of carnal noises, desperately thrusting hips, and sudden jolting orgasms – in her case. She had never yearned for sex, unlike those boys who resided in the backseat.
With Lecter, Starling felt a foreign sense of desire flow through her body – and she had no idea how to deal with this kind of wanting. It was, for a lack of better words, alarming.
So when Starling turned around to look in his eyes, she couldn't help but avert her glance and let a few strands of hair fall in front of her face – the shy schoolgirl role. "…Doctor Lecter." With much effort, those words slipped through Starling's lips. Redness tinted her cheeks. The boldness she possessed on the phone line suddenly vanished without a single trace. Clarice Starling was very insecure.
"Clariiice." The familiar name rolling off the doctor's lips did little to comfort Starling this time around. In fact, she tensed as a tingling, aching heat settled itself between her legs, and there was slight confusion on what was to be done. Throughout all those fumblings, Starling had never felt this heat and the act of sex itself had always been to fulfill another man's wish. To dull this ache, Starling shifted her feet slightly and gasped in alarm when the seam of those flannel pants brushed directly against her most sensitive mark. The doctor, of course, took notice of everything.
"I apologize, Clarice. It seems I have put you in a situation of discomfort" Lecter lightly prompted. Upon receiving silence and a shy glance as an answer, he sighed and adjusted the situation again – this time being more direct. "Are you familiar with the works of Sigmund Freud, Clarice?" There was a slight hint of challenge in his voice.
Starling held her nose slightly higher and gave him a colder stare. "I believe you know that I am well educated in Psychology, Doctor. What about Freud?"
"Many of his theories were quite…interesting, were they not? And sometimes highly controversial, such as the stages of psychosexual development."
"Your point, Doctor?"
"One of his better known findings is the theory of life and death drives. Are you familiar with that one? It should have been covered in the curriculum."
Listening to the lecture, Starling shivered slightly at the sound of his voice while explaining Freud. As unpleasant and off-turning the topic of Sigmund Freud was, she knew exactly where this conversation was going, and couldn't help but tingle in anticipation as well as anxiety. "Yes, I am very familiar with it."
"Of course. Thanatos and Eros – Thanatos being the death drive. A need for the danger of death and destruction. I believe you are familiar with that feeling, seeing as how a gun is always at your side. Is the metal very cold against your skin? All those raids as well – how does it feel to hear so many gunshots going off at the same time, knowing that you are in danger of being shot? The death and destruction looming all around you? I remember you admitting to me the exhilaration you felt upon discovering the unfortunate Benjamin Raspail's head."
No words left Starling's lips, but her breathing quickened slightly.
"Aside from Thanatos, there is also Eros – the pleasure drive."
A small noise left her throat – like an animal's purr.
"How familiar are you with the concept of human libido, Clarice? It is all wanting – desiring only to be pleased, no matter the cost. It is, in fact, the very force that drives you to do everything you do on a daily basis. That is, of course, according to Freud."
Silence.
"Hunger, thirst, sex. Freud himself called these the basic human needs – meaning that it was not only desired by humans, but needed as a motivation to live life. Every single being in this world needs to eat, drink, and experience human sexuality. Do you believe what Freud claims, Clarice?"
Starling spoke in a quiet whisper. "Please, Doctor. Don't…" She held her breath and exhaled. "I can't do this."
"Do what? Human sexuality, Clarice, is exactly what it is – Human. Be it through physically satisfying themselves, or just masturbation of the mind, every single being on this planet practices it, even if nobody ever admits to their sexuality."
She ground her teeth as her arousal reached an entirely new level, and let out a shuddering breath. Starling hated to admit it, but this aching hunger for physical touch felt good on some level, and she dropped her head in shyness.
Sensing the timidity, Lecter's voice softened noticeably. "It doesn't have to be tedious, Clarice. Just tell me what you need."
Her words couldn't even be heard by the average human ear, but Lecter heard as clear as a child hears shattering thunder. "Kiss me."
That was all it took. Lecter swooped in and took her mouth fiercely in his. She felt like ice and fire at the same time, but the aching still burned deep in her loins. "Touch me" she whispered, slightly louder than before. He complied.
Starling couldn't help but tremble something fierce as his body pressed firmly against hers and his mouth hungrily ate out of hers. It occurred to her that Lecter's mouth has been the kiss of death for so many unfortunate people, but the thought only heated her up even more. 'Thanatos' she thought.
The hands that firmly brushed up Starling's abdomen teased and had a mind of their own. They softly brushed the underside of her breasts under the rough academy tee, causing Starling to involuntarily jerk her hips and gasp. Suddenly, his hands slipped under the waistband of her flannel pants and trailed dangerously close to the elastic of her panties. She whimpered loudly and tried to grind against his palm; a cry of frustration escaped her lips when the hand suddenly disappeared and reappeared on the small of her back – so much farther from where she wanted his fingers.
"Patience, Clarice" Lecter breathed into her ear. "It doesn't always have to be clumsy, fumbling, teenage sexuality. I can show you better. We have all the time in the world."
And she listened to him, because she knew he was right. They had as much time as they needed. "Show me."
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