Leo was deathly ill after his most recent bout with Shredder. Lost a part of himself to save his brothers. So what happened in those months as he recovered? How did his brothers handle it all? These are a collection of one-shots to shed light on moments each brother had with Leonardo when he was sick, as he was recovering, and while he was learning to cope with his new disability. While technically a 'continuation' of Tortured Souls, they should be self-explanatory enough to be read as stand alone one-shots (if you haven't the time to read a 30 chapter angst-fic).

First up is Mikey.

Um... Enjoy?

Aftermath:

Tortured Souls One-shots

I. Mikey

Leo felt moisture on his arm, like a pipe dripping from the ceiling. His mind fought for clarity as his eyes refused to open. Where was he?

Another drop of liquid on his hand this time. Where was it coming from? Had he fallen asleep in the tunnels again? Perhaps it was blood from yet another injury.

No… no, he'd made it home. He remembered seeing his family again, seeing his brothers alive and well. That hadn't been a dream… had it?

Suddenly terrified his relief had been another illusion, Leo found the strength to pull his eyes open slowly. He recognized the ceiling of the lair, he was definitely home. His vision remained unfocused as he turned to find the source of the moisture.

Mikey. Mikey was holding his hand, silent tears streaming down his face.

Crying.

Leo felt his chest tighten in sudden worry.

Still unable to feel his right arm, he gripped Mikey's hand with his left. The movement was enough to draw his brother's full attention, worry etching into his face as he saw Leo's open eyes. "Leo! You're awake!"

The elder attempted to offer a smile, but it only pulled at the bandages covering the right half of his face, causing him to grimace in pain.

"Dude, don't try to move. Donnie's wrapped you up real good."

Leo could hear his brother choking back tears as he spoke. Swallowing hard and coughing to clear his throat as much as possible, he whispered hoarsely, "Don't… cry…"

Mikey tensed, folding his hands tighter over Leo's.

"I'm… OK." The elder tried to reassure. "Don't cry." Leo watched as Mikey wiped the moisture from his cheeks, forcing a smile.

"I'm not crying 'cause of you. Don threatened to give an in depth explanation about the effects of pizza and soda on a young turtle's body and just the idea of it bored me to tears!"

Leo managed a weak chuckle, but the effort shot pain through his side and he couldn't hide the grimace.

Mikey's smile faltered. He looked to the door that Donnie had disappeared through several minutes ago, wondering how long it took to get coffee. Maybe he should wake Master Splinter or April to make sure Leo was—

"Don't." Leo huffed a shallow breath. "Let them rest."

Mikey looked down to his brother, amused. "How come you're the only one in the family who got mind-reading powers?"

"Your eyes…" Leo swallowed thickly, eyes glossing over as he spoke. "Easy to read. Always bright. Unguarded." He looked at Mikey with an admiration in his features that filled the young turtle with warmth. "A gift."

"Leo…" Fresh tears welled in Mikey's eyes. Why did it feel like he was saying goodbye? The thought alone made Mikey tremble, his mind filling with images of his brother staying behind in that awful prison. "You're gonna get better. You have to."

"Mikey…"

"Please… we can't—" He stopped, choking back a sob as his heart reminded him how much it had terrified him watching that complex explode knowing his brother was still inside. "We can't—… we didn't know how to—" Taking a deep breath to stop the onslaught of emotion, Mikey lowered his head to rest it lightly on his brother's, the warmth of Leo's fever doing little to alleviate his fear. "We need you, Leo. You know that, right?" He felt his brother lean into the touch, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"I know."

"So you have to rest and get better. Don't…" He paused, attempting to still the tremble in his voice. "Don't make us watch you leave again. Please…"

Leo felt his heart break at his brother's words. Struggling through the exhaustion, he pulled his good hand away to rest it on Mikey's head. "It's gonna be… alright. M'Still here." He waited till Mikey looked at him before offering what half a smile he could. "No… more tears. Ok?"

Mikey nodded against his brother's head, unable to stop the moisture still dripping from his eyes. He wanted so badly to see his brother get well again. So. Badly. If he got nothing else for Christmas or birthdays or holidays ever again, he wouldn't care, as long as Leo was there to be with them. He'd even give up eating pizza.

Anything. He'd literally give anything.

"Ok." He finally whispered, wiping his cheek as Leo held him tighter against himself.

"Good." Leo's eyes closed of their own accord, his body finding it too difficult to keep them open any longer. But he kept his hand on Mikey's head, thankful to have his baby brother near for comfort. Thankful to have him here at all.

Listening to the sound of his brother's ragged, but steady breathing, Mikey closed his eyes, curling closer to the elder as he remembered how scared he'd been of never having Leo in his life again. Another tear tracked down his cheek before he could stop it. "Love you, big bro." He wasn't even sure Leo was still awake to hear—

"Love you too, Mikey."

The way his older brother said it—like a sigh of contentment after drinking a cool glass of water on a hot day—made Mikey smile, lowering his head so it rested on Leo's shoulder while his older brother's hand wrapped around him.

"He's gonna be OK, Mikey." Don's voice entered the room, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand, and a look of worry on his face as he stared at the tears in the younger turtle's eyes.

"I know." Mikey said, nodding to himself before speaking more confidently. "I know."

That night, Leo's fever took a turn for the worse, the infection in his arm spreading through his body with new ferocity. The following night, Leo lost the arm. The night after, they nearly lost Leo.

Mikey had never cried so much in his life.

7 Months Later:

Leo's mind had been racing too quickly for him to sleep. It was impossible to keep it still after everything that had happened the past few weeks. Getting used to not being leader was going to take more time than he'd hoped, and despite his family's assurances to the contrary, Leo couldn't help but feel superfluous. Unnecessary. Raph had taken to leadership like moss to a tree, growing stronger and bolder in his new position every day. And while Leo was beyond proud to see his brother excelling, he couldn't deny the sting at knowing he was so easily replaced.

But he would keep it to himself. Complaining about such things would only make him feel like more of a burden than he already was. Perhaps that's what bothered him so much; his arm kept him at such a disadvantage that, not only could he not pull his brothers' weight anymore, he couldn't even hold his own. It was… embarrassing.

Dishonorable.

Folding his legs in front of him, Leo let out a slow breath, attempting to calm his raging emotions.

His brothers were safe, and well taken care of in the hands of their new leader. That was all that mattered.

All that should matter.

Another sigh escaped his lips, slightly more annoyed at his own selfishness.

"Leo?"

The elder turtle turned toward the door to see Michelangelo peeking inside his room. It was late, what was he still doing up? "What's wrong, Mikey?"

"Nothin'." He said, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Just wanted to make sure you were alright. You didn't mention anything about morning training when we got home, so I thought you must be sick or somethin'."

Leo only shrugged. "It's not my place to say anymore."

Mikey's heart dropped. He could hear something in his brother's voice that was familiarly terrifying; like when Sensei had gotten sick and Leo was trying to keep them all from panicking.

He sounded lost. Hurt. Like he was scrambling to piece himself together before anyone noticed he'd fallen apart. Mikey could count on one hand the number of times he'd heard Leo sound like that, and it was heartbreaking every time.

But in usual Leo fashion, his brother was quick to sweep it aside, putting on his 'everything's fine' face. "You should get some sleep, Mikey. It's been a long day."

The fake smile he was offered made Mikey wonder how much his brother was hiding. Was his shoulder still in pain? Did he still have nightmares about it all, like the rest of them? Was he really OK with being left behind back in the complex? Mikey couldn't even imagine how hard it must've been wandering around in those tunnels alone for so long, especially as injured as Leo had been. Then to get home and wake up without an arm… it must have been terrifying.

Was Leo really OK with it?

He was here, alive and well, but not entirely home. Not whole. Because he'd lost—or was losing—a part of himself in that explosion. Mikey could see it in his eyes. Saw it back on the roof as they fought. Saw it clear as day.

There was a moment.

When Leo was struck the ground, a Foot soldier towering over him and a blade coming for his throat, his mask of composure that locked away all emotion fell and in his eyes was a look of pure terror. Panic. Pain. Mikey saw it. And he knew it had nothing to do with the blade charging at Leo's throat, because his brother's features practically screamed their fear: I am worthless.

It had only been a moment. Less than a second. As was Leo's way, he recovered quickly, spun away from the oncoming attack and returned fire with his own weapon. His mask was back on, the fire was in his eyes again, and everything was normal.

But Mikey saw it.

And it wasn't the only time that night. After the battle, Mikey had turned to Leo to see what he thought of Raph's leadership skills, and Leo smiled, practically beaming with pride. He even placed a hand on Raph's shoulders and told him what a great leader he was becoming. The compliment had been so sincere, even Raph couldn't help but smile. It was a moment that made Mikey feel like things were finally behind them.

As they jumped to the adjacent roof to head home, Mikey turned back to make sure Leo was following.

And there it was again.

The mask was gone and his eyes stared at the fisted hand at his side, glaring helplessly at his sword with that same look upon his face: I am useless.

It had lingered for almost a full second before Leo realized he was being watched and threw his walls back up. But the damage had already been done.

Mikey saw it.

And the entire way home he couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn't stop seeing it. Feeling it. Couldn't stop the emphatic heartache that came every time he pictured it.

How badly was Leo hurting? How much was he hiding from them?

Stepping further into the room, Mikey took a seat on the edge of the bed, his hands fidgeting with the covers as he fought for the right words.

Leo watched him, waiting patiently. It was obvious there was something on his brother's mind, something a little more powerful than a nightmare, and while Leo didn't feel in the right frame of mind to be offering any advice or comfort right now, the look of concern on Mikey's face was enough to still his objections. He may not be leader, but he was still big brother… he could at least do this. "Mikey?"

"Can I sleep here with you tonight?"

Leo cocked an eye ridge at the sudden request. "Did you have another nightmare?"

"No. I just… don't want to be alone tonight." Didn't want Leo to be alone.

The elder turtle stared at his brother curiously for a moment before sighing in resignation. It was past time for bed anyway.

As Leo scooted to one side of the bed, Mikey crawled next to him, curling up as close to his brother as possible and wrapping his hands around Leo's arm. The elder stared down at him a moment, confused by the intense affection. "…Mikey?"

"We need you, Leo."

The abruptness of it took Leo off guard. The sudden worry in Mikey's voice spread guilt through Leo's veins as he realized his unguarded moments on the roof had been noticed. His arm tensed as he looked to the ceiling.

His silence only spurred Mikey on. "Leader or not, you'll always be our big brother. Always. And we need you. You know that… right?"

There was a long moment of silence as Leo felt his brother clutching his arm as if for dear life. It wasn't fair to them. He knew his brothers blamed themselves for his condition, and skulking around feeling sorry for himself wasn't doing them any favors. He needed to let this go. Needed to stop clinging to what was and figure out what could be. What he could be.

Leo drew in another long breath. "I know." He did. Deep down, he knew his brothers needed him, leader or not. But some days it was impossible to see why. Days like today. But for their sake as much as his own, he would keep trying. "I know."

Feeling Mikey still radiate with concern, Leo pulled his arm away to wrap it around his brother's shell and pull him close. Mikey practically nuzzled into Leo's plastron, listening to the rhythm of his brother's heartbeat. "Leo?"

"Hmm?" The elder looked down to see his brother staring at his stump of a shoulder.

"I never said thank you. For what you did… saving our lives and everything." He pulled his eyes up to Leo's, fear shimmering clearly in them. "Don't ever do it again, Ok?"

They both knew Leo would never promise that, because he would do it again in an instant if it meant saving his family's lives. Instead, Leo pulled his brother closer, placing a hand on his head. "I'm right here, Mikey. I'm not going anywhere."

Clinging to his older brother, Mikey couldn't understand how Leo didn't see it. This. This moment. This power to comfort, to reassure, to chase away fear and replace it with safety. This was why they needed him. As leader, he was an asset. But as big brother, he was a requirement. A necessity. And somehow, Mikey would find a way to make him understand that.

"I love you, big bro."

Leo smiled, suddenly realizing how much he needed to hear those words tonight. "Love you too, Mikey."

Need you too.

Need you.

I had told some of my readers that there were several deleted scenes I'd thought of turning into one shots, and here they are. Why were they cut? Various reasons, mostly length and story focus, but I thought it might be fun to string them together into another storyline.

I have several others, and may possibly write ones for April and Leatherhead, but at the moment these are the only two I've had time to edit properly. So while I make no promises for when updates will come, I do promise to at least post several more.

Comments and critiques are always welcome.

End of Line.

-TRAaP

(P.S- if you find these to be too confusing without reading Tortured Souls, please let me know so I may correct it. You won't be hurting my feelings, I will appreciate your honesty.)