Dedicated to Greylle who came up with this idea first.
107 Years Earlier...
Six year old Hashirama Senju was bored out of his skull as his grandfather hefted the pure black kusarigama carefully, even reverently.
"—and this is my most prized possession. It was used by a ninja by the name of Tsuzuki of the Masaki Clan. They're all dead now. Most of them weren't that strong, but this weapon was something extraordinary. He killed over a dozen of your cousins and my own father lost his right arm to this weapon. It was more luck on my part that I threw a kunai that wounded him and weakened him enough that the rest of us were finally able to defeat him. Remember that Hashirama! Strength in numbers! The strength of many can overwhelm even the most powerful of opponents. I was given possession of his weapon; as a symbol of our victory was because of my actions."
"Uh huh," Hashirama recited automatically, having heard this story before. Several times. It was his grandfather's favorite. It fit because his favorite occupation when he wasn't complaining how slow, feeble, and pathetic Hashirama was in his training efforts—was polishing the damn kusarigama. Of course, sometimes he did both.
And if he was feeling really efficient—he combined telling the story interspaced with pithy remarks about Hashirama while polishing the stupid kusarigama which Hashirama sometimes fantasized about plunging into the old bugger's heart.
Not that he would. He and Tobirama were absolutely convinced that the old man was not only immortal—he lacked the cardiac organ to mortally wound to begin with.
As it so happened, this time Hashirama was just getting the lecture. He fought to keep from nodding off as the man once again managed to reduce an exciting battle against a strong opponent into a dry and boring and overly lengthy story with frequent side comments and rambling tangents about totally unrelated things that happened to pop into the old geezer's senile brain.
He once more cursed the fact that Tobirama wasn't sitting here beside him. Why should he suffer alone? No, wait, Hashirama reminded himself that the little shit had perfected the skill of sleeping silently with his eyes open and thus giving the impression that he was a captivated audience while catching up on his rest. It was almost three months before Hash had caught onto Tobi's trick. The ass.
"Kabe!" one of his aunts called out. "Hikite wants to talk to you about the escort mission tomorrow!"
His grandfather grumbled about his idiot son-in-law even as he declared that lessons were over for the day and dismissed Hashirama to play (ie. physical training). As it so happened however, Kabe Senju was in such a rush to leave that he forgot to secure his prized trophy.
Hashirama had never used one of them before and quickly appropriated it for himself to "train" with.
He had quickly gotten some scrapes and cuts from the amazingly sharp sickle. Hash had to admit that the old man hadn't been lying when he claimed that this was one extraordinary weapon. He inadvertently discovered that the blade could actually cleave through rock with enough force behind it.
It was the weighed chain though that quickly proved to be the trickier part to wield. The first time he tried spinning it, he inadvertently walloped himself in the ear that left him dizzy and with a faint ringing sound afterwards.
Just when he was starting to think he gained some confidence with slinging the weighted end down, Hashirama discovered why the kusarigama was such a tricky weapon. He misjudged the return and nailed himself in the crotch. That had been a horribly excruciatingly painful lesson. Hobbling to the river, he soaked himself for the better part of an hour before he tried again. More slowly this time.
He spun around, envisioning himself battling an array of opponents and threw the weighed end once more. It ricocheted off a tree and came flying back, popping him in the nose and breaking it.
Instinctively, Hashirama let go and the kusarigama went flying off and landed in the nearby river with a soft plop.
He got a stern reprimand and several months of punishment for losing his grandfather's prized kusarigama.
Although Hashirama never admitted it; he was secretly glad when the old blowhard finally did pass away because he never missed the chance to harp on Hashirama for losing the damn thing…
Mischief Fragment - Hidden Hand
Chapter One: The Lost Weapon
2 Years Ago…
"YOU FAIL!" the Chunin Sensei snarled at Naruto who slumped, dejected. He trudged away, looking enviously at his classmates now newly minted Genin Ninjas, laughing and donning their headbands.
He quickly left the Academy, struggling not to cry and let everyone see him. Ninjas don't cry! He told himself as he dashed away. And I will be a Ninja! Someday…
In most timelines, Naruto would spent a couple of hours sulking on top of the Hokage Monument before going to gorge himself on Ichiraku's Ramen and heading home.
He would retake the Graduation Test twice more before Touji Mizuki would trick him into stealing the Forbidden Scroll.
Instead, when Naruto went to the Hokage Monument there was a sizable contingent of Chunins working nearby.
He wandered closer and overheard their discussion. "—looks like one of the support beams is rotted through and gave way causing a partial collapse in the tunnels."
"Awww shit. That's going to take days to fix. Are you sure we can't foist this off onto the Genin Teams as a D-Rank?"
"Nope. We're going to have to some heavy excavating—"
Naruto scowled. He wanted to be alone and so he decided to try and find some other out of the way place.
The rushing sound of the river was surprisingly relaxing Naruto found as he sat on the bank and let his feet soak in the chilly water. This was one of the remote training grounds as he reviewed the Graduation Test.
The written part of the examination was horrible although he felt he had gotten enough right to pass. Fortunately he had his Guess-Right-Answer-Jutsu. It never failed! At least with multiple choice questions. He really bombed when it came to fill-in-the-blank sections.
The practicals were somewhat better as his taijutsu, kunai handling, and shuriken throwing gotten a sullen pass by the Chunin examiners, although he guessed it was barely suitable.
But he had totally flunked on his Henge technique. He slapped his cheeks with both hands. Right! He would have to work hard on his Henge!
He grinned as he jumped to his feet and slipped—ACK! He landed in the river and was rapidly pulled downstream by the fast moving current. Naruto struggled to thrash his way to the surface, but he had swallowed water and was hacking and coughing—couldn't breathe! His hands clawed on the mud on the bottom of the river for some traction—and grabbed onto the links of a chain buried in the mud.
For the first time in over a hundred years, chakra flooded through Hidden Hand.
Kabe Senju had tried several times to wield the powerful weapon since he had acquired it. But he had never managed to unlock it's secrets as it was still linked to Tsuzuki Masaki's chakra. In modern parlance, it was like the engine was fine, but he simply lacked the key to turn it on. It remained inert in his hands and so Kabe was left with a trophy and otherwise useless weapon.
Until now. The chakra raging through it was raw, wild, and unfocused; but there was a lot of it and it overloaded the set defaults for Tsuzuki and Hidden Hand now had a new wielder and master.
Naruto Uzumaki.
It instinctively responded to the desperate survival instinct of its new wielder and it burst free of the riverbed where it had lain forgotten for over a century as Hashirama Senju had converted most of his clan's lands as the new site for the Hidden Leaf Village.
The chain whipped up, wrapping tightly around Naruto's wrist and arm even as the sickle spun through the air, embedding itself into a tree trunk and the chain immediately retracted; dragging a sputtering and soaked Naruto out of the river and onto the bank.
Naruto slowly sat up as the chain loosened around his wrist and the sickle yanked itself out of the trunk of the tree and coiled itself back near it's new master.
Naruto blinked and stared at the kusarigama in confusion.
[Identify yourself please.]
Naruto whipped his head around. "Huh? Who said that?"
[I did. Identify yourself please.]
Naruto turned suspiciously and looked down at the gleaming black kusarigama and peered at it with a beady eye. No. It couldn't be...
"Was that you?" he asked, poking it with a finger hesitantly.
[Yes. Identify yourself please.]
Dumbly, Naruto automatically did so as he stared down at the talking weapon. Weapons don't talk do they? He would have remembered that lesson in the Academy…
[Default User Set. Naruto Uzumaki. Greetings. I am Intelligence Device Hidden Hand.]
"Wow! Cool! So what else can you do besides talk?" Naruto asked.
[I am optimized for stealth fighting, intelligence gathering, and covert insertion utilized by ninjas. My abilities however are greatly augmented by the chakra I am empowered with by my user. My previous wielder possessed only moderate chakra reserves but I detect massive chakra reserves in you. And considering your youth and level of training; you have the potential to increase your power tremendously, dwarfing your current power levels.]
Naruto Uzumaki gazed reverently at the amazing pure black kusarigama's explanation penetrated. "So you—you can make me into a ninja?"
[Incorrect.]
Naruto's face fell at that.
[I can make you into the Ultimate Ninja.]
Naruto instantly became starry eyed.
A/N: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and a number of concepts from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha belongs to Masaki Tsuzuki, I think. At least his name appears as the author of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha's anime and a manga adaptation of the series according to Wikipedia. If you're sharp eyed enough, I gave him a nod as the original owner of Hidden Hand was said to be Tsuzuki of the Masaki Clan.
Oh and in case anyone is wondering; considering that Hashirama and Tobirama both refer to architectural elements in Japanese (hashirama is the space between two pillars and tobirama is the space between two doors); I felt it appropriate that his relatives also share names from architecture as well. Kabe is Japanese for "wall" while Hikite is "doorknob".
This particular story was based on Greylle/Kestrel's "Mischief Fragment" on Anime Addventures website. I greatly enjoyed his "Mischief Fragment – Mjolnir" (actually, I love just about all of his stuff; he's funny, irreverent, loves crossovers, and is fond of sticking numerous and wacky things in his stories) and got inspired to play around with my own version.
He was the one who actually came up with a bunch of options for other authors to pursue including the name of a scout/spy/intelligence device known as "Hidden Hand".
I considered actually pasting the whole episode uncut and unedited here on FF Net. Greylle was kind enough to allow me to do so when I contacted him to ask if I could post this episode completely unmodified, but certain parts of the original Addventure episode contained references to one of Greylle's original characters, Toltiir. Despite his offer to allow me to freely use the character, I felt too embarrassed to use his personal creation in a rather cavalier manner. I am deeply honored that he made such a generous offer, but felt that only he can do justice to the Elder God of Chaos.
But out of respect for his vision and selfless generosity, I wanted to dedicate this story to Greylle.