A family dispute between the Browns and Weasleys occurs in the middle of Diagon Alley. The Weasleys are concerned for their son; Ron who has been depressed for many days. Fred approaches Ron and promises to find out the reasons for the sadness. Ron leaves Fred after a meaningful conversation about the women he loves assuring Fred that he cannot teach him to forget his true love.
Characters:
Romeo - Ron Weasley
Juliet - Lavender Brown
The Nurse – Poppy Pomfrey
Tybalt - Pavarti Patil
Capulet - Mr. Brown
Lady Capulet - Mrs. Brown
Montague - Arthur Weasley
Lady Montague - Molly Weasley
Paris - Dean Thomas
Benvolio - Fred Weasley
Prince Escalus - Cornelius Fudge
Friar John - Charlie Weasley
Balthasar - Dobby the House Elf
Sampson & Gregory - Samuel and George (Not from Harry Potter)
Abraham - Kreacher
The Apothecary - Severus Snape
Peter - Johnny (Not from Harry Potter)
Rosaline - Hermione Granger
Mercutio - Harry Potter
Friar Lawrence - Ginny Weasley
Samuel and George are servants of the Brown family. They enter carrying their wands.
Samuel: George, we cannot let them laugh at us any longer, we cannot just stand here and let their 'pure-blood' family treat us like garbage.
George: Well Samuel, if we did that we would be garbage men would we not?
Samuel: We are wizards you fool, tonight will be the night – if they dare treat us like vermin then we will show them the very power we hold with our wands.
George: Samuel, instead of fantasying of the impossible, try to keep yourself out of trouble, just do as they wish.
Samuel: I know my spells, I obtained three outstanding's on my O.W.L's – I'll have you know.
George: How can anybody make you that angry that you would curse them Samuel?
Samuel: One of those trolls, the Weasley can make me that angry George.
George: Angry enough to curse them without their wand I say.
Samuel: If anybody from that filthy house were to even pass me on in Diagon Alley I would have no problem walking against the wall, having them walk in the gutter.
George: Men would not be seen against a wall.
Samuel: I – Yes, I would push the Weasley 'men' into the gutter and the Weasley 'women' against the wall.
George: We have no right to fight for our employers all we have the right for is-
Kreacher – a servant of the Weasley's enters.
Samuel: Shut up and look there, it's a Weasley.
George: Don't start anything, we are not to fight, we have to work in less than four hours.
Samuel: Get your wand out Gregory.
George: Yes, let's start a fight we cannot win – do you know how many Weasley's there are. I once heard that seven of them live in the same house!
Samuel: Good thing we can wipe them all out in a few seconds hey?
George: And how will you support me – run away once they start to attack, we should not break wizarding law by starting a fight. If they want to fight then they will start.
Samuel: I will raise my wand and they can do as they will.
Kreacher: Oi, are you pointing our wand at me?
Samuel: Pointing my wand at you sir, of course not I am just making sure that I did not chip it when it fell from my pocket.
George: Are you trying to start a fight sir?
Kreacher: No, pardon my accusation please.
Samuel: If you want to fight then I shall do so gladly – my boss is just as good as yours.
Kreacher: Just as good – perhaps, but better he shall never be.
Fred Weasley enters.
Samuel: Well, well – George, look its Pavarti, Lavender's friend. Say something to complement them.
George: Yes, he is better at his work sir.
Kreacher: You lie you filthy mud blood.
Samuel: Then we shall duel to see who the true men are in this world – George remember your spells.
They start to duel.
Fred: Stop you idiots. Put your wands away, we are in broad daylight.
Pavarti Patil enters.
Pavarti: Mhm. You have drawn your wands for these servants? Fred look at the person who will put you in your place.
Fred: I was only trying to stop the violence. Either help me with this dissonance or draw your wand and help me stop this conflict.
Pavarti: You take out your wand yet talk of peace? I resent the word peace just as I resent you and your family.
Pavarti and Fred fight whilst many bystanders in Diagon Alley watch.
Bystanders: Put some effort in! Curse him! Get the Weasley! Get the Browns!
Mr. and Mrs. Brown enter.
Mr. Brown: What is going on!
Arthur and Molly Weasley enter with their wands drawn.
Mr. Brown: I will make short work of this, just look at that Weasley vermin waving his wand around just to annoy me.
Arthur: Brown you idiot!
Molly: Get back you fool! You will not take one more stride towards him!
Cornelius Fudge enters.
Cornelius: You fools! Creating havoc amongst our people! You turn your own wands against your very neighbours! You beast who indulge in each other's' blood! I will have you arrested if you do not stop attacking. This is the third time fights have started because of this petty war. Three times the peace of Diagon Alley has been disturbed and our citizens have had to ply you apart. If this happens again I will have no choice but to arrest you. Brown come with me. Weasley, I will see you today. As for the rest of you petty fools be gone or be arrested.
Arthur: Who started this fight? Fred where you there when it started?
Fred: Your servant was fighting with them before I arrived. I tried to separate them until that girl Pavarti showed up with her wand flying everywhere. She taunted me making sparks with her wand. At that very point we started to duel until more and more people arrived until the Minister arrived.
Molly: Oh, where is Ron? Have you seen him today? I am glad he did not witness this fight.
Fred: Madam, I was busy this morning and was out for a walk during the afternoon. I saw your son before at the Broomstix. I tried to ask him how Hogwarts was but he dashed off.
Arthur: He has been going there for the past few nights. With our current - situation we cannot afford another broomstick at the moment. During the day he has been hiding in his room, creating a pretend night. It is not healthy.
Fred: What is wrong?
Arthur: I don't know and everything I try to console in him he just mumbles and leaves.
Fred: Have you tried everything – bribery?
Arthur: Yes, we have even got Hermione and Harry to come over but he doesn't talk. He does not want friends – he is his own best friend.
Ron Weasley enters.
Fred: Look, its Ron. I will force him to tell me what is wrong otherwise he can tell me no over and over until his mouth becomes so dry that he tells me or parchment.
Arthur: We must leave – the Ministry has summoned us and we are already running late. I wish you luck in getting the truth.
Molly and Arthur Weasley exit.
Fred: Good morning.
Ron: What is the time?
Fred: It is only nine.
Ron: God, why does time bloody go so slowly when you are depressed. Why did father leave so fast?
Fred: He has been summoned to the Ministry of Magic. What is making you so sad?
Ron: I do not have somebody to make time fly.
Fred: You are in love!?
Ron: No, I was in love. I love someone yet she does not share the same passion.
Fred: It may sound childish but love looks nice but on the inside it is a blade that will slice you in two if you are not careful.
Ron: What is sad is that love is meant to be blind.
Ron Weasley sees blood on the pavement.
Ron: Bloody hell what happened? Wait – I know already. It is the hatred but more of the love. Happiness, foolishness. Everything is now a complete mess. Love is heave and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake. I feel love yet nobody loves me in return. Why are you laughing you moron!
Fred: I am not laughing, I am concerned.
Ron: What the hell are you bloody concerned about?
Fred: I am concerned of your sadness.
Ron: This is the result of love. I am already sad and now you are making me bloody sadder by being concerned for me. Goodbye.
Fred: Wait, I want to spend some time with you.
Ron: I am not myself. I have lost myself.
Fred: Who do you love?
Ron: Seriously? I should tell you?
Fred: Yes!
Ron: I love a woman.
Fred: I guessed that when you said you were in love.
Ron: Then you are a very good detective. Another hint – she is beautiful.
Fred: A beautiful target is the one that is hit the fastest.
Ron: And finally the bullet strikes the detective. She refuses to be struck my love's arrow. She is as clever as Rowena Ravenclaw herself. She cannot be touched by the weak and childish arrows of love. She will not let you lust over her or take gifts of pure gold.
Fred: Will her parents be happy with you dating her?
Ron: No, she wastes her beauty. She can never taste or feel love's arrow and that very promise has left me alive but dead, living only to think about what I have done.
Fred: Forget about her and move on.
Ron: How can I forget something so beautiful?
Fred: Look at other women, be enticed by their beauty.
Ron: You idiot, that would only make me lust over her beauty more. You are a bloody idiot.