A Glimpse at the Future: The Irony of it All by MandaPanda2

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, JWP, et al and are used here for non-profit entertainment purposes.
Rating: PG 14
Spoilers: Everything up to season 4 to be safe.
Notes: This story was written July 2002. It takes place two years after Jed & Co.'s second term ends.

"Welcome back to MSNBC Live. Good afternoon, I'm Melanie Monroe. We begin this hour on a sad note. It has just been confirmed that former first lady, Dr. Abigail Bartlet, passed away this morning at her home in Manchester, New Hampshire. A spokesperson for the Bartlet family made the sad announcement only moments ago. We here at MSNBC offer our deepest condolences to former President Bartlet, his three daughters: Elizabeth Bartlet-Weston, Dr. Eleanor Bartlet, and Zoey Bartlet-Young, and the entire Bartlet family. Let's go now to Patrick Mackenzie who is standing by live at the Bartlet farm in Manchester. Pat?"

Leo shook his head and snapped off the TV. He left Jed's study and walked down the hallway to Jed and Abby's bedroom. He raised his hand and knocked once.

"Jed?"

No response.

"Jed? Talk to me."

Knocking again, Leo said, "Please Jed. Open the door and talk to me."

Nothing.

Leo now began to worry. He pounded on the door, "Jed so help me God, if you don't open this door I'll..."

The door flew open so fast Leo nearly fell in the doorway. "You'll what?"

Leo looked at Jed's face and was momentarily taken back. He had never seen Jed in such a bad way. Jed's eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his face splotchy and covered in dry tear tracks. "I'll break it down," he replied.

Jed just nodded once and retreated back into the dark room, leaving the door open. Leo seized the opportunity and followed him in. He closed the door and blinked rapidly, his eyes trying to adjust to the complete and total darkness. He moved over to where he knew there was a table and a lamp. "I'm just gonna turn on a light. OK?" When he didn't get a response from Jed, he reached over and snapped it on. The lamp bathed the room in soft light and allowed Leo to see Jed was sitting on the bed.

"What's that in your hands?"

Jed looked down at the pale purple material. He cleared his throat and replied quietly, "Her nightgown." He looked back up at Leo. "I found it at the end of the bed." Jed raised the nightgown to his face and began to sob into it.

Leo quickly moved to Jed and knelt down in front of him. "Jed, please. I know that you are upset, but you have to calm down. I don't want you to relapse."

Jed lowered the nightgown, looked straight into Leo's eyes, and said, "You think I care about having an attack right now?"

Leo shook his head, "Jed no. You know that's not what I meant-"

"Damn it Leo! My wife is dead. I am never going to see her again!" Jed jumped up and began to pace the room, knocking Leo down in the process. "It's not right! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Jed, of course this wasn't supposed to happen. No one knows why God takes people when they still have so much life left to live. Abby was-"

"Don't give me that bullshit! I am not a child you need to explain death and heaven to. I know that Abby was a wonderful, kind, and loving person. I was married to her for almost 40 years!" Jed stopped pacing. "I shared my life...everything with her, " he said softly. He turned around and looked at Leo, "I didn't mean to knock you down."

"I know, Jed."

Jed collapsed onto the couch in front of the fireplace. "Did you know that Abby was starting a rose garden?"

Leo sat down next to Jed. "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Jed ruefully smiled, "she joked that it wouldn't be as fancy as the one in the White House because she was getting back to the basic, simple things." He looked over at Leo, "She was so enthusiastic about it. You know, she was really looking forward to doing ordinary things again. That was what she said to me after Hoynes' inauguration as we were leaving D.C."

Leo just nodded and waited for Jed to continue.

Jed put his face in his hands and said, "The agents told me that she had just finished putting in some roses and that she was drinking some lemonade on the porch when...when " He looked back up at Leo, with tears running down his face and whispered, "I didn't know that she was so sick. She said she hadn't been feeling well and that she was tired, but-"

"Jed, it was a heart attack. You couldn't have known, you aren't a doctor-"

"She was a doctor! She should have known something wasn't right with herself. She was so damn stubborn though. I should have insisted that she see a someone. If I had, maybe she would still be here now."

Leo put his hand on Jed's shoulder and said, "You can't do this Jed. I won't let you. You can't beat yourself up over this."

"What am I supposed to do, Leo? Tell me, what am I supposed to do? Cause, I don't have a damn clue." Jed got up and walked away from the couch. "You know what the irony of it all is, Leo? After I was diagnosed with the MS, we had 'the talk'. You know, about what would happen if I died. But," he turned around, "we never talked about would happen if she died first." The tears came faster now. "We never talked about it. Both of us just assumed that the MS would kill me before something killed her. I...I don't know what to do or what I should be thinking." Jed took a deep breath before continuing, "The only thought running through my head is that while she lay on the porch dying, I was at Boston College giving a speech about my years in the White House. She died alone, Leo. She died alone and I didn't get to tell her that I loved her one last time."

Leo got up and embraced his friend. "Jed, she knew that you loved her. Hell, anyone who worked in the White House knew you loved her. She knew that you loved her."

"You...You think so?"

Leo nodded. Jed sighed and walked over to the window. He pulled open the curtain and the afternoon sunlight filled the room. He looked back over at Leo. "Are my girls here?" he asked.

"Liz and Zoey are downstairs and Ellie arrived from New York right before I came to see you."

"OK," Jed sighed. "I gotta go down and talk to them." He walked over to Leo and said, "Thanks. For everything."

"Go be with your girls Jed." Jed nodded and slowly walked out of the room. Leo followed him and stood leaning against the door frame watching Jed walk down the hallway. He went back into the bedroom and sat down on the couch. He leaned his face into his hands and began to cry. He cried for Jed and the girls. But mostly he cried for his dear friend Abby, who would never know how much she would be missed.