The day was nearing sunset. No one could speak, no one could really breathe properly, especially the two Curtis brothers, Darry and Soda. Next to them were two buddies, Two-Bit and Steve. Before them on the ground were two headstones with the carvings 'Dallas Winston' and 'Johnny Cade.' Next to Johnny's was an open hole in the ground, a headstone above it read 'Ponyboy Curtis.' The four remaining members of the gang didn't know how much more they could take. It was ten months since they had lost Johnny to severe burns and Dally to being shot. Now they lost the youngest Curtis brother...to suicide.
The two oldest, and remaining, Curtis brother's hearts shattered more and more the lower the cascade went. Before they even began to lower it, Soda had jumped on the cascade screaming. Steve pulled him off, as Darry was crying too hard to really try. Now Darry held on to Soda's hand tightly. Soda hadn't done well at their parent's funeral, their two best friend's funerals, Sandy's leaving and now their little brother. Darry looked over at Steve and Two-Bit. They looked like they were falling apart inside too. How would they all ever get through this?
That night when Darry and Soda had dropped off Steve and Two-Bit and got home, Soda dropped to the couch and began to bawl. "Oh Darry...what did we do?" Soda asked through the couch pillows.
Darry took a deep breath. He had to be strong. "I don't know, Soda. Maybe something and maybe nothing."
"Why didn't we see the signs?"
"We saw some of them...we just ignored it and blew it off..." Darry responded, "Goddamnit! Why didn't I do anything! I saw the damn signs!" Darry took the coffee table in the living room and flipped it over spilling the contents all over the floor.
Soda jumped and clutched a couch pillow. "Darry...please stop," Soda whispered.
Darry took another deep breath, "Soda, I'm sorry...I just wish..."
"I know, Darry, I know. Me too. W-we can't do anything about it now. I just want to know why, that's all I want to know is why he did it. I got to know why he did it, Darry," Soda stuttered through tears.
"I do too, but I don't know how we can find out," Darry said. He started walking towards the door, "I need to take a walk. I'll be back later."
Soda sat up quickly, "Darry!" Darry turned while opening the door. "You're not going to drink are you?"
Darry slightly chuckled, "Soda I'm not stupid. I just need a breather. Why don't you go on to bed and rest. I'll be back shortly." Soda nodded and Darry walked out. Soda started to bawl on the couch. He slammed his head in his hands and soaked his cheeks with tears. His life was falling apart and it wasn't just about Sandy anymore. He could care less about what happened to Sandy at this point. He wished that was the only thing he was worrying about right now.
After awhile of crying and wishing, Soda slowly made his way upstairs. He went and slammed into bed. As much as it hurt, he still wanted to sleep in that bed. It also helped to sleep there. He continued to cry and soak his pillow. Crying was the only way he was able to fall asleep now.
Darry walked back into his house a couple hours later. He got upstairs and found Soda asleep in bed. He made it to his room as quietly as possible without waking his brother. Darry undressed and got in comfortable clothes. He wasn't planning on going to bed yet. He just sat on his bed and thought. As the oldest brother, he was determined to figure out what events led to Pony's suicide. Everyone saw the signs, but figured it would blow off, but it didn't. Darry will forever never forgive himself for that. "Oh Ponyboy, why did you kill yourself?"