Dorothy Returns To Oz

(Dorothy Fell asleep again on her bed. The next thing she knows is that she is in Oz back in Munchkin land. She looks around, no munchkins. She picks up Todo.)

Dorothy: Oh goodness! Where am I?

(Walks around and then stops. She notices that the Munchkin Land sign had been changed to say "Witch of the West Land!")

Dorothy: (gasps) OH DEAR! It's changed a lot since my last visit!

Witch: (flies in on broom, lands) You bet! (Dorothy turns Dramatically, witch laughs) Remember me? My pretty?

Dorothy: (gasps again, Points at witch) YOU! (Asks suspiciously like she's being tricked) Wait, How do I know you're the real one? If you were, how did you come back? (Feels confident with her answer)

Witch:( yells) STUPID GIRL! ("Slaps" Dorothy across face, she screams and cries)

Dorothy: (drops Todo, rubs cheek) OWEEEEEEE! THAT HURT!

Witch: (disgusted) OF COUSRE IT DID! And, of course I'm the real witch! You actually thought I died? I am a witch! A magician! Professional Illusionists! Yes Dorothy, it was an Allusion, a disappearing act!

Dorothy: A disappearing act? (Suddenly smiles) HOW COOL! It looked so real! Do another one! Please?

Witch: How's this for another one? (Grabs Todo) I'll magically make your dog disappear with my Flying Monkies!

Dorothy: NO! (Grabs Todo) YOU MANIAC! What did you do to the world of Oz?

Witch: Well, if you don't already see, Oz belongs to me now!!!!! (Insane laugh)

Dorothy: (gasps) You Fiend! How did you get Oz?

Witch: Easy, Blackmail. That Coward of a Wizard handed it over quicker than that time you murdered my sister! (Looks at Dorothy bitterly)

Dorothy: Hey! That was an accident!!!

Witch: Oh yeah, just like how I accidentally pulled out the scarecrows straw and used it for my fireplace, or how I misplaced the tin man for a well bucket and accidentally shoved him down, or how I accidentally put the cowardly lion in a ditch full of hungry pit bulls!! Aren't Accidents fun? (Laughs)

Dorothy: (furious) you never did any of that! I know you didn't!

Witch: (Laugh dies down) I know, I was going to, but now my plan is ruined!!!!!!! (Screams) God, I cannot believe I told you that! That was for later! (Mutters) Stupid.

Dorothy: Oh, you're not stupid. (Break) But, I can see you are troubled, and need to have a talk. You know, there's a thing called therapy. (Points proudly at herself) I should know! I've had therapy, when I came back to Kansas, and now…(Picks up Todo) look how I came out!!!

Witch: (blank face) What, dumber than before?

Dorothy: No, Silly! I'm less delusional than before! Can't you tell?

Witch: No. Not really.

Dorothy: Oh. Well, you should still consider some help.

Witch: Well, I did have help. Believe it or not, I too, have seen a shrink. But not just one…I HAVE BEEN TO FIVE OF THEM! And none of them had helped! In fact! I'M CRAZIER THAN BEFORE! I've tried everything! EVERYTHING! I had tried to find hobbies that required no killing or torture, I got myself a pet kitty, Cookies (pulls out cat, pets it real quick with affection. Then she goes wide-eyed and throws kitty) I have even tried to be NICE! The worst thing I have attempted! Then, I just gave up and took over Oz. Renamed it to "Witch of the west land," and made all munchkins and the forest under my control! I destroyed the Emerald City, replaced it with a city of cold-hard stones, and build onto my castle! (Insane laugh) NOTHING has helped! I'm madder than before!

Dorothy: (quietly) Well, um…that's quite a story… (Laughs nervously)

Witch: I'm NOT DONE! I had imprisoned all loyal to that moron Oz and Glenda, my goody-two-shoes of a sister! Who is also imprisoned! I have been interrogating your friends, finding out where the ruby-slippers are, but I had got nothing from them! So, later I was planning to rid them. Now, that you're here, I want to know where the slippers are!

Dorothy: (hesitant) Well, umm, you see, (flatly, mumbles) they are gone, I don't have them anymore.

Witch: WHAT????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THEM? (Points) LIAR! OF COURSE YOU DO!!

Dorothy: No, they are seriously gone! I caught them on fire when I was roasting smores in my backyard!

Witch: Boy, you are an idiot!

Dorothy: Why do you always have to be so evil? Why can't you just be good? Its better for your soul!

Witch: I have tried! I have no Soul! It just made me realize that I love the Evil life! (Laughs) Now, I must kidnap you! You're in my way!

Dorothy: No! I will never let you kidnap me again!

Witch: Oh, and how will stop me?

Dorothy: I'll run away! (Starts to run.) There's no place like home! There's no place like home! (She thinks she ran ahead, but she opens her eye to realize she is in the same spot running in place.) What? How come I can't move?

(Witch laughs, using her "magic" using hand. Dorothy screams) what did you do to me?

Witch: What does it look like I'm doing?

Dorothy: Let me run!

Witch: I am letting you.

Dorothy: (stops) Ha. Ha. (Realizes something and points) I see your game! Your only going to let me go unless I help you conquer the rest of Oz and help you run this evil twisted Dictatorship!

Witch: (Thinks about what Dorothy said) Actually, I was just going to rid you by locking you up forever. But, your idea is better! What do you know? There is a brain in there!

Dorothy: No, you're wrong! The scarecrow has the brains!

Witch: (beat, sighs) things like being brilliant can only last so long with some people. (Louder) Unless you want me to hit you again, stop being so stupid. But, I will only let you go, if you promise to be evil, and help me take over all the land!

Dorothy: Never!

Witch: (sighs) Fine, (beat) I guess I have to kill you now.

Dorothy: No! I wont let you kill me! Your nothing but a bully, you know that?

Witch: (pretends to be sad) Awww… Widdle Dorothy is being Bulweed? Does it hurt Widdle Dorothy's Feewings?

Dorothy: Well, yes. Because, right now you are just mocking me! But they say people who bully have something to hide!

Witch: (looks at her unconvincingly) do I?

Dorothy: Yes! I think you do! I think Being Evil has made you a bad person!

Witch: (slaps herself in the face, yells.) WHY? Why out of the blue did you have to come? You have wasted like ten minutes of my life, where I could have been torturing someone! But NO! I am here with you! STUPID YOU!

Dorothy: (upset) Why do you hate me? Am I that bad to be around?

Witch: YES! You are! You are stupid, naive, and a waste of my time! Go away before I kill you! I have better things to do! (Gets back on her broom)

Dorothy: Wait! Don't go! I know what your problem is!

Witch: I don't have a problem! Leave me alone! I thought I was the queen of torture! But, you, if I stuck you in a room with someone, oh… Believe me! That is torture! I am sorry I came!

Dorothy: I just wanted you to know the number one thing that can solve any problem!

Witch: You are just going to keep talking to me, until I say what, aren't you?

Dorothy: yes.

Witch: (sighs) FINE! What, Dorothy. What is the way to have all your problems taken away!

Dorothy: (grins) A hot cup of coco made with love! And a great big hug!

Witch: (screams really loud, this time she starts to melt) I can't believe it! I'm really, honestly melting! Your stupidity has defeated me! I'm melting…. I'm melting! I'm mellt… i…n…(the witch is now gone for good)

Dorothy: (stands, picks up Todo. Looks at puddle) Wow! Now that was magic! She really made a great disappearing act! A lot better than the first! (Looks at Todo) Come on; let's go, home! (Skips) La… La… La…