I wish I could dream up what AWM can. ABC Disney own all the good stuff like Castle - Beckett .

The only thing I own is my own imagination. Unfortunately the imagination is limited.

Anyway they have done a much better job than I could anyway.

This first chapter is only history. Just for the sake of how we get to the rest of the story. If you want to skip to chapter 2, you will not miss anything (much).

I want to thank the thousands who read this and those who commented. I had fun, A new last chapter has been posted.

Let me know what you think

KATE

The night was cold. It was May, but the rain created a chill in the air.

The events of today are really going to change Kate Beckett's life forever. At this time, she is not sure if it will change for the good or the bad. She is not sure how just the rest of this evening will go.

She has resigned from the department. She has no job. The one man in her life, besides her Dad, who she loves and trusts totally and completely, is gone. No, he is not just gone, she drove him away. She sent him as far away as possible with no regard to what repercussions might come. She might has well have driven a long stiletto thru his chest, into his heart and left him for dead.

She had been as cold as ice to him when he stood in front of her, tears in his eyes professing his love for her and begging her to stop trying to chase after her mother's case. She did hear him professing his love for her when she had been shot. She denied it though. He told her again today that he loved her. He begged her to just don't do this. Not only did he speak his love today, but she has never had any man demonstrate love for her like Richard Castle did for these last few years.

All Rick ever did was to support her. Support her actions. Stick near her. He always have her back. He was always willing to put himself into harm's way just to protect her. He had made a habit of doing it these last few years.

He was always putting her needs first. Her feelings first. Never showing any expectation for loved returned until today. And what does he want today in return? He wants to save her life.

The thanks he gets for loving her is "It's my life! MINE! You don't get to decide!"

She's really not sure herself how much love she has for him. Her own stubborn pride and determination is preventing her from accepting his love or giving love back in return. It is also preventing her from stopping him from leaving her loft for the very last time.

His final words before walking out of her loft, "This is…..over. I'm done", rang in her ears.

Richard Castle is a broken man. He is leaving the woman he loves. He will never see her again. She will die.

Now she finds herself in the park. Sitting on the swings in a driving rain. Looking at the empty seat where Rick sat only a few months ago. She had told him then that she needed to change. She needed to move past the hunt for her mom's killer and get to a place where she could find closure and move into the kind relationship she wants. And that is the relationship she really and truly wants with Castle. She really is crazy about him just like Lanie said. Maybe she actually loves Rick, but her own blind focus has prevented her taking any action to open her heart to him. She wants to open her heart to him, and she wants it NOW

Can she save this relationship? She is going to try with all of her might.

As she is walking up the steps to Castle's building, she dials his phone number. Looking at the cell phone screen it says,"RINGING". Then the screen changes to "Call Refused". He refused to answer her call. Now what will she do? Will he refuse to even see her. He might not even open the door.

She gets to his door. She is dripping all over the floor. Maybe Castle will not know where the rain ends and the tears begin. Maybe he will recognize her sorrow. Maybe he will see it's real. She really, really wants him. She is ready to let him in.

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock

The door opens and there he stands. A slight smile on his face. But it turns to a frown very quickly.

"Please" she whispers under her breath.

"Beckett, what do you want?" is the question asked in a tone filled with anger. It appears Castle really doesn't care what the answer might be. He is hurting so bad from what happened earlier.

"YOU!" was the only thing she could utter as she charges through the door before grabbing him by the face and kissing him passionately.

As she breaks the kiss, she voices her apology over and over. With tears flowing down her face she tries to kiss him again.

But, he pulls back, grabs both of her wrists.

"Kate, I tried to tell you how much I loved you, but you choose to tear my heart out of my chest and leave me cold so you could chase after your ghosts. I cannot live this way. I cannot be hurt by you again. I gave you four years to open up to me. You chose the monster over me. I told you I was done and I meant it."

He grabs her by the shoulders, turns her around, pushes her out the door and closes it behind her. "Goodbye"

She staggers through the front door to the front stoop. Looking down the steps into the cold night she realizes she has totally destroyed any chance "they" might have had. The rain is falling heavy. The wind is cold. And now she is outside in the dark all alone.

She thinks. "Why did I do it?"

She sits down on the steps. All hope for a future with his is gone. She leans over into the brick wall and starts crying, mixing the falling rain with her own tears. As her sobbing begins to diminish, she feels herself drifting away into sleep.

RICK

Alexis has graduated high school. Rick Castle thinks he has raised one very smart girl. She is definitely more mature than her father in many ways. He could not be more proud of her.

She has just delivered the most amazing speech he has ever heard.

"We move on even though it hurts."

He knows that he now has to move on no matter how much it hurts. And it does hurt. So badly!

Alexis is gone to her all night party. His mother is gone to their vacation home. The apartment is empty. His heart is empty.

He really did not want to move on. What he really wanted was to be in a permanent relationship with Kate Beckett.

He does not really remember when he fell under her spell. Was it the first moment he met her? Maybe? Probably!

All as a direct result of one lovely lady, Kate Beckett, the old Richard Castle is gone. No more wild parties. No more playboy ways. No more bringing new women home just to send them on their way later in the night.

During the last four years his feelings for Kate grew and grew. Grew into love. He fell in love with Kate. Real love. Not just infatuation. Not lust. Real honest to goodness love. All the others fell short of his feelings for Kate. He had been married twice. Had dozens of relationships based only on sex and nothing else. These were all hollow and empty. With Kate he had a love that was not based on sex. They had a closeness that could not be described. A friendship. No making out. No vacations together. Not that having those things would have been so bad. But he had a love that had begun with them working together, became a friendship and built to a point where he never even thought about the lack of sex. He only thought about how to keep her happy. Anything to keep her happy. He may actually never be able to love anyone else ever again. At least not in the way he feels for her. She took up all the space in his heart.

Based on how he feels about Kate, he must really be in love for the first time ever. He loves her. PERIOD. And he likes it.

Wow, what a new concept for him. Thinking about someone else and their feelings and not thinking at all about what he might want for himself. The only other person he felt about that way was Alexis and occasionally his mother.

What else could any man want? She meant everything to him. He would have done anything for her.

Every night she was in his dreams. But each new morning, when the sun comes thru his windows, the dreams end and he was brought back to reality and he awakes in his bed looking forward to the next time he saw her. He was planning to change from dreams to reality as soon as Kate can manage to bring down the wall between her heart and him. She just told him the other day that the wall was coming down. He is ready to be there when it does. He was looking forward to that day.

But after the events of earlier he guesses he is back to being a man alone.

Earlier today she was getting ready to attack the monster again. The monster that killed her mother. The monster that tried to kill her. He had to stop her before it caused a response that would most assuredly end in her death. He asked her to stop this chase. He begged her to stop.

This time he made sure Beckett heard him when he told her he loved her. He made sure she was listening. When he asked her to stop, she showed she didn't care about him, only the monster.

Then when she found out he was trying to protect her. She was mad at him for even doing that. Angry for the secret he has been keeping. He wanted her to stop. He loved her so much, he could not stand around and watch her get herself killed. The men who killed her mother want her dead and she will wildly go in and let them do it.

He told Beckett they are finished. He was done. He left her loft for the very last time.

He came home, locked himself in his study and cried like a baby. He knew nothing else to do. He knows she will die, but he cannot be around her when it happens. He watched the life leave her body once. It almost destroyed him then. This time he knows she will not be coming back. He cannot be around to do that again.

He just wants to smell the cherries in her hair just one more time but he knows it will not happen.

His phone rings and the image of Kate Beckett appears on the screen. He pauses a moment before hitting the "ignore" button. He is afraid that it is either Ryan or Esposito calling on her phone to tell him it's finished. Or if it is her, he cannot have a conversation with her. Not now. Not ever. She has hurt him for the last time. He must try to move on.

He steps over to his computer screen and deletes all the files relating to "Kate Beckett". He is standing in front of the screen trying to delete her from his heart too, but that will not happen anytime soon or maybe not at all.

There is a quiet knock at the door.

He hesitates. He tries to smile. He opens the door.

But his fear of coming face to face with Ryan and Esposito to tell him she was dead is replaced with the lovely, yet soaking wet vestige of Kate Beckett.

He is still angry. He is hurting. But he is still in love with her. Probably in love for the last time in his life and the woman he wanted to be with for all time is standing right in front of him. Soaking wet and dripping all over the floor.

She mouths the word, "Please"

Through his anger and hurt, he says, "Beckett, what do you want?" He is really expecting more anger from her after what happened earlier.

Her response was almost a whisper "You"

She bolts through his door, grabbing his face and kissing him. A real kiss, not the diversion kiss from a year ago. Real lips, Real tongue, Real loss of breath. She has sucked all the air from his lungs and replaced it with the air from hers. He can't breathe.

KATE

A loud clap of thunder awakens Kate Beckett. She is disoriented for a moment while she tries to figure out just exactly where she is. She is not in her own bed. It's dark in the room, but she is inside not outside in the rain. She is lying under the covers. She is dry. She is warm. She realizes she is naked under the sheets and that she is not alone in the bed.

As she gets her bearings, she knows that she just had a very bad dream. A nightmare.

She did go to the swing set. She did come to Castle's apartment. She did tell him she was sorry. But instead of throwing her out, he asked what happened. She told him and that all she really wanted was him.

He did accept her apology. And what he gave in return was LOVE. Lots of love.

Castle was in the bed with her. This night could not get any better. For both of them

She stretches her arm out for Rick. He reaches over lovingly and brings Kate to his side and puts her head on his shoulder. She returns to sleep but with a smile of contentment on her face knowing she is truly loved.

MORNING

The sun is now blaring through the windows. Not a cloud in the sky. Richard Castle's heart is beating fast.

He can even smell a faint whiff of cherries.

Kate Beckett is asleep next to him. In his bed. On his pillow. Her auburn hair covering part of her beautiful face. He lays on his side watching her sleep.

He feels a gentle movement next to him. He sees her eyes slowly open with a blink and a pretty voice says, "Good morning"

It was more of a purr than a spoken word. He looks over to the now awake Kate Becket.

All he could think to say is "Hi" Tears welling up in his eyes again. This time tears of happiness.

He reaches over and puts his arm around her waist. She moves in closer, puts her arm around his neck and pulls herself slightly under him and starts kissing. He can feel her skin next to his. Under the covers their bodies join to complete the embrace.

Does this girl know how to kiss. This continues until the memories of last night take over and Castle falls under the Beckett spell once again.

Kate Beckett is in his bed. He and her are totally wrapped up in each other. He is awake with Kate in his arms. The nightmare of what happened yesterday was just that, a nightmare. Let's treat it as the bad dream is was. A nightmare to be forgotten. Like it never happened.

No more dreaming. This is real. She came to him last night, opened her heart to him and the passion that had built up from four years of swordplay was finally released.

Repeatedly.

He cannot help himself. He gently kisses her lips, her neck, her cheek, her chin, and her eyes. Her breathing gets a little faster along with his own.

She opens those beautiful hazel eyes, looks directly into his and says in a low voice, almost a whisper,

"Make love to me again"