AN- Frozs on tumblr suggested I write this so I did. Crossposted on AO3. I hope you enjoy.
Kakuzu was making himself a pot of coffee and heard a noise from the other room and went to investigate only to find that Hidan had something in his mouth, something that was somewhat large, furry and had a long pointy tail.
"Not again." Kakuzu sighed and started towards him, but Hidan's violet eyes flickered up at the large man and he ran out of the room past him, "Hidan! Get back here!" Kakuzu ran after him, "Hidan!"
"What's going on, hm?" Deidara yawned as he walked out of his room, rubbing his face.
"Yeah, what's all the shouting about? It's too early for this." Sasori said, coming to stand behind Deidara.
"Hidan has something again."
"Oh…let him eat it, who cares?" Sasori shrugged.
"Do you know that people use rat poison, do you want him to die? Besides, the last time he did this he threw it up later, on the middle of the bed, it was disgusting." Kakuzu glared at the pair before chasing after Hidan who was now in Kakuzu's bedroom, sitting on said bed and looking at the rat he spit out, poking at it to see if it would move.
"Hidan…leave it." Kakuzu ordered, "Don't…don't pick it up…" Very slowly he approached Hidan, but then Hidan almost seemed to laugh at him and grabbed the rat in his mouth and ran away again.
"Dammit!" Kakuzu shouted as he chased him through the house, losing track and having to go very quietly to look for him, and when he found him, Hidan was on the couch his back to the door, and Kakuzu could hear a sickening crunch of bones and suddenly grabbed Hidan by the back of his neck, "Drop it! I said drop it!" He shook Hidan's head, trying to dislodge the dead rat but Hidan was not letting that thing go.
"Oh my god, Deidara, you have to see this, get in here." Sasori said, holding his cell phone up to film the scene in front of him, this was going on his Snapchat and he was going to send it to everyone he knew, probably more than once, with different edits.
Kakuzu was prying open Hidan's mouth with one hand and trying to remove the rat all while Hidan did his best to bite and scratch and growl at Kakuzu, who only wanted to help.
"That is disgusting. I'd just let him eat it if he wants it that bad…" Deidara said as he made a face, "I wouldn't put my fingers into that mouth."
Finally, Kakuzu had gotten the rat out but noticed it was missing a leg and had to fish that out, too, making Hidan gag as he had to reach far back into the very back of his mouth, but he finally got it out and then held it by the tail, making a face, as he went to put it into a trash bag and then threw it outside in the garbage bin.
Hidan was glaring so hard at Kakuzu he could almost feel it, "Stop it, you could have died if you ate that thing." Hidan looked away, eyeing Sasori and his camera while Kakuzu wiped the blood from Hidan's mouth with his fingers, "Sometimes, you're far more trouble than you're worth."
"Didn't you get him for free?" Sasori asked.
"Yeah, but I have to constantly buy shit for him all the time, he has such a sensitive stomach, I have to buy expensive food for him once a week but he would rather eat street rats." Kakuzu washed his hands and then scooped up Hidan and rubbed under his chin, "So next time, don't let him out, I've told you before, he's not allowed outside, I'm not going to put up with it if it happens again."
"Aww, Kakuzu loves his little kitty cat, doesn't he?" Deidara teased, "Why don't you kiss him? We'll get a picture of it and put hearts on it and send it to our friends on snapchat."
"Why don't I punch you two in the face instead?"
That was when Hidan finally started to purr and wrapped his fluffy white tail around Kakuzu's arm.
Sasori snickered, he knew Kakuzu would kiss that cat later, when he thought no one was watching and then talk to him like he could understand, but little did he know that Sasori had a video of him doing just that and all their close friends had a copy, too, and they were waiting for just the right moment to show it to him.