"Well," Lance drawled as he shucked his helmet off his head and let it drop unceremoniously to the ground, "that's the last time we're ever playing Galran laser tag in an asteroid belt. I vote we pretend not to notice any distress calls anywhere in the Ourenos galaxy."

"Not an option, Lance." Shiro removed his helmet with a relieved sigh. "We have a responsibility as paladins. We have expectations to fulfill, one of which calls us to come to those who are in need."

Lance looked unimpressed, pinky wedged deeply in his ear. "Yeah? Well, what about my needs? I almost got my head blasted off out there. And look!" Lance stuck out his pinky, covered in a dark purple substance. "I've still got Yveltan goo stuck in my ear!"

While Hunk and Pidge freely expressed their disgust by mock-gagging, Shiro only frowned.

"Lance, I—"

"A—ASCHOOO!"

Shiro glanced to his right, at Keith. "Bless you. Lance, I understand that you—"

"ASCHOOO! AH-ASCHOOO! ASCHOOOO! AH-AHHHSCHOOOOO!"

"Whoa, Keith, you okay?" Hunk gently rubbed Keith's back. "You don't really look so hot."

Keith wiped his nose on the sleeve of his dark undersuit and sniffled loudly, eyes narrowed and slightly watery. "Really? I think I'm running a fever, though."

A few steps away, Lance muttered bitterly to himself. "And I'm running a purple candle shop. Look at all this—this goo in my ear!"

"He means you don't look well," Shiro clarified, sparing Lance only a sympathetic nod of understanding.

"I don't," said Keith, his tone almost a beat away from whiny. "Sorry. Woke up like this. Didn't expect it to get any worse."

Hunk suddenly took a leap away from the team. When he received several pairs of curious eyes, he held out his hands as if to be on the defensive. "No offence, but what if it's contagious? What if it's, like, alien ebola? I-I don't wanna get space flu! How do you even treat space flu?"

"And how do ya get rid of an alien goo infestation?!"

"Gaah! Don't come near me with that, either!"

"Oh, come on! Help a buddy out a little, would ya?"

"No! Pidge, help!"

As Hunk frantically shoved Pidge between him and Lance like a human shield, Pidge turned to Shiro with a look that was half "what the fuck" and "please take me away from this."

Shiro first consoled Hunk. "There's no space flu," he said, enunciating each word clearly. "Everything's gonna be fine. And Lance, stop that. You're starting to gross everyone out."

"Yeah, no need to worry here," Lance deadpanned. "Just let the Blue Paladin drown in Yveltan gloop!" To emphasize his predicament, Lance pinched his nostrils shut and blew, letting purple slime trickle out of his ears and leave thin, sticky trails.

Shiro looked vaguely alarmed. "O…kay. You need to get some help with that."

"That's what I've been telling you!" Lance gestured wildly with his arms, nostrils flaring as he shouted.

Shiro sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Lance. It's been a long day for all of us. Hunk, why don't you get Coran? Let him know Lance and Keith needs medical attention."

"Finally." "What? No."

The team turned disbelieving stares on Keith.

"I don't need medical attention. You're overreacting." Keith sniffled loudly, and then coughed into the crook of his elbow. "I'm fine. I just need to rest."

The other paladins exchanged looks.

Then, Shiro pressed on. "Keith, you said yourself that you didn't expect your condition to get worse."

"What? No I didn't."

"…Yes, you did."

"Nope. Don't remember."

"Keith, I know you feel like this is unnecessary, but—"

"I'm. Fine. Stop acting like you're—"

Keith's body chose that precise moment to betray him, rapidly firing off three sneezes loud enough to echo in the Hanger.

Keith cast a miserable glare at the team. "Not. A word." He sniffed.

Then he passed out.

"Keith!"

Pidge and Shiro flocked to their fallen teammate.

"I'm getting Coran!" Hunk shouted, bolting out as if he were being chased.

Lance walked a few steps over, stopped, picked up his helmet from the ground, and stared at it. "You know, we could've just called Coran with our comms."

Pidge grabbed her helmet and started doing just that.

"Coran! Coran, are you there?"

"While you're at it," Lance continued, words starting to slur, "tell 'im that I'm… not feelin' too hot, either, mmkay?"

And then Lance fell to the floor with a bodily thud, besides Keith.

Pidge and Shiro looked at each other.

"This… This isn't space flu, right?"

"Pidge, there's no such thing as space flu."

"Right. Well. I'm taking precautions. And leaving. I'll leave these two to you, spacedad."

"H-Hey, I said not to call me that—"

"See ya!"

Shiro sighed.