Prologue:

I sat on the cliff, hidden behind a pile of fallen rock, my arms wrapped around my knees and my optics fixed on the space between the stars. The air was cool, making the roaming heat signatures of a pack of coyotes all the more visible. Distantly, an owl called a greeting to the night, almost drowned out by the low rumble of the stereo Spike and Chip had left behind that afternoon. Jazz and Blaster were probably listening to it now, filling the silence that came with the night watch-shift. I could feel the crackle of lightning in the air - The desert would get a storm soon. I didn't care. My third double-strength energon cube of the night sat beside me, half empty. Unfortunately, I couldn't get enough of a buzz going to dull the thoughts ripping through my head. I never could anymore. Just another of Primus's gifts, it seemed.

If I'd just been faster, would anything have been different? If I'd stepped in sooner, or taken charge earlier, would they be gone? What if I'd never left? Would we still have lost her? Would there even be a war right now? Would I still be here? Would they? What if -

"Hey, Prime."

I turned, surprised to hear someone's voice. "Bumblebee? Why are you out here?" Great. I need to find a new spot now. Without even thinking, I felt myself sit up straighter, and the mask came down. Primus, it was getting harder and harder to act like the leader they needed.

"I could ask you the same thing." 'Bee came down the rock pile and sat beside me, his legs dangling over the edge.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Then don't make me," he retorted with a wry grin, but then it was gone. "Seriously. Drop the act. It's just you and me out here."

I raised an eyebrow, but let the wall fall, just a bit. "How could you tell?"

"Come on, Optimus. Surely you know I'm a better spy than that."

I laughed. "You've been spending too much time with the humans, apparently. No respect." I reached for the cube again.

"Careful, Prime." His optics were fixed on the horizon. "You're starting to sound like Kup."

I snorted and choked on my energon. It was chance that kept the cube in my hand, instead of tumbling down into the desert below, as I coughed. Even that small amount was still highly volatile - no need to explain to the humans why there was now a large crater in one of their territories.I leaned my back against the pile of tumbled stone, setting the energon cube safely on the ground. "You never answered my question."

"I followed you. You never answered mine."

I stared up at the sky, trying to come up with an answer. The coyotes yapped and laughed, evidently having found something worth the chase.

Bumblebee followed my gaze. "It almost feels like you could see straight to Cybertron on a night like this."

"…Yes," I agreed. "It does, doesn't it?"

"Is that why you're out here? Too many memories?"

I looked down at Bumblebee, surprised. "Y-yeah. How did you know?"

The younger mech laughed, but it was harsher this time. "I'm in this war too, Optimus. I may not remember as much of Cybertron as the rest of you, but I do remember it."

I shook my head, frustrated that he didn't understand. "All you remember is the war! Cybertron was a mess by the time your processor could retain anything." I took another pull from the cube, draining it. "And… I'm afraid I helped make it that way. I'm sorry."

Bumblebee turned to me, concern clear on his face. "What? What are you talking about? Without you, Megatron would've-"

I ran a hand over my face, trying to recompose myself - another habit from the humans. "No. The first war. Megatron's Rebellion." Ergh… He's good, alright. Why can't I shut up?

Bumblebee nodded. "The Quintesson overthrow that happened when I was little. What about it?"

I sighed and looked back up at the stars. "It's… not a pretty thing. To be honest, I'm glad you don't remember. One war is more than enough for anyone."

I tried waiting him out, really I did, but the kid was too stubborn. He just sat there, watching the sky and waiting on me. Finally, I gave up and spoke. "It's a long story."

"Dawn's a long way off, Optimus, and I doubt either of us really intended to sleep tonight."

I could only nod at that. "Well," I started, "it all began back in Iacon, my old hometown…"