A/N: Hello.. this is my first fanfic in a long time. i've been very busy so this is just an idea that came upto me. this is like a blog entry by draco malfoy in the internet. he's missing his hermione.. huhuhu.. i adapted this story to my own. haha! so if you think it's corny or cheesy, it happened to me and it was very very special for me. i'm in hermione's pov but this story's in draco's pov don't ask why hermione left. thank you. read and review:)
Disclaimer: i soo do not own Hermione or Draco or Hogwarts or the computer i'm using right now. lols!
Right now, I'm typing this down because I have no one to tell this to. I mean, who would care about what I say? Who would care about what happened that night? No one. So whoever you are who cared, thank you. Even though I would never know that you read this, I really appreciate your effort.
What I'm about to say here is about the girl I really like. Her name's Hermione. She was so beautiful. Her hair was straight and frizz free, unlike before when we were younger. Her face was perfect. Her lips. How I longed for her lips. It was pink and ever so kissable. But her beauty was left unnoticed. I mean, she herself didn't notice her own beauty, the beauty that somewhat attracted me to like her, to love her. A lot of people still thought that she's the goody two shoes; book worm that she was. But she wasn't. She grew very beautiful and very independent.
She was in the same year as I am at the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but I never got the chance to talk to her. She was a muggleborn, the race my father taught me to hate. She hanged out with my arch nemesis. If ever they knew about my feelings towards her, they would've killed at the very moment they found out. That's one thing I hate about my love for her; we can never be together.
For some reason, I couldn't get my eyes off her, well; at least I couldn't get my eyes off her picture. My acquaintances would be dismayed if they saw me even taking one sweet glimpse at her. They, too, hated the one I love. It really made me long for her more, knowing that we can never be. They would've despised me and never talk to me again.
Every once and a while, I would catch her reading a book at the library by herself or sit by the black lake. I took those chances to take pictures of her, the ones that I am treasuring now. Those moving photographs captured her sorrow without the presence of her friends. In those photos, you could see the concentration she was forcing herself to but then she was just really thinking. Tears would fall from my eyes every time I would look at her because I could sorrow in her face. Of course, I would automatically look away and wipe my tears. It would weird for the others to see me cry. No one had seen my cry.
I always had wanted to ease her pain. I wanted to stop her thinking sad thoughts. I wanted to make her smile, to make her happy, to make her mine. I prayed ever day that someday, she would be with me so I could finally tell her how I feel for her. On that day, no one will be around us to make any comments. On that day, everything will be perfect. On that one sweet day, it will be just I and her.
I could remember that night perfectly. She was in her best gown. It was a blue sleeveless gown. It had many blue sequins on the top that made her dress glitter. The gown reached the ground which made it look really elegant. It had a long slit that showed her skinny legs. The gown exposed her hidden curves. Her mask was also blue; it had a feather at the side and had blue sequins on it. She looked like a goddess. I would've approached her if it weren't for her weasel of a boyfriend. All I did there was look at her with this big smile on my face. I felt like an idiot.
It was the masquerade ball. All of us seventh years were to attend the ball. It was my chance to actually talk to her and tell her what I felt for her, without her knowing who I was. It was my time to finally hold her close to me, to be with me. But I had to make sure she wouldn't recognize me. I dyed my hair black and made sure my face (except for my mouth) was masked.
It was exactly one hour and thirty five minutes since she entered the great hall. I stood by the Slytherin table, while still, looked at her charm and elegance. I was with my housemates, who were talking about who they would shag by the end of the ball. I was highly disgusted by their topic. Suddenly, I heard a slow muggle song was to be sung. This dance should be mine, should be ours. I took an ice flower off the ice vase that stood on the table and went for it.
"May I have this dance?" I bowed down slowly to her and offered my hand. I was praying to Merlin that she would hold it and say,
"Sure, dear sir."
I looked up and gave her a grateful smile and surprisingly, she smiled back. I pulled her to the center of the great hall and there, we started to dance. She held my hand and put the other one at my shoulder. She didn't look at me, but she was smiling. I could see it in the corner of my eye. Slowly, her smile faded. I looked at where she was looking at and saw her "best friend" dancing with another girl. Her eyes and mine met as I turned back. She gave me this smile that said, "I'm okay, don't worry." She rested her head on my shoulder and let out a soft sigh.
"Can I ask you a favor?" she said with hesitance.
"Anything, just name it."
"Could you be with me until the ball ends?" she suddenly rested her head back to my shoulder.
I was so effortless, but all fell into place; all of the things I imagined in my dreams were there. She wanted to dance with me the whole ball. But the thought of her not knowing who I was saddened me. What if she knew who I was? Will she still dance with me? Will she still ask me to be her all night? I know that she was only asking me to be with her because she was lonely and needed company. But I was still happy because it was my chance to finally ease her pain.
"Of course, I would do anything for you."
She slowly pulled herself away from me and faced me. I saw an amused smile creep on her lips. She looked at me from head to toe. As she did so, I stood still, looking at her. I had to make an impression. I had to show to her that I could take care of her, at least for the night. Okay. Maybe I did make an impression saying, "I'm strong!" Blah. Blah. Blah.
"Well then," she took my hand from her waist and pulled me towards her direction. She then whispered to my ear, "Let's go outside."
"Don't you want to dance?" I asked her with a hint of confusion on my voice.
She pushed her way out of the bunch of people who were intimately dancing to their significant others and let go of my one hand to open the door. I was surprised by the full moon shining on her radiant beauty. She smiled at me and pulled me beside her. Then we began to walk, side by side, holding hands.
"I do. But I don't want any music." She said suddenly, answering my question earlier.
I realized that it was cold outside and she was just wearing a sleeveless gown. I slowly let go of her hand and took off my cape. She looked at me questioningly. I smile at her and put my black cape on her. She looked at my cape and held it on her hand, observing its smoothness and warmth. I noticed how my cape shined on the moon's light. As I looked up to the moon, I heard her say,
"That is a blue moon. It's the second full moon in a month. It's brighter and rounder than the first full moon. It happens only once or twice a year. It's really beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is." I said, looking back at her.
I didn't wonder why she knew that. I mean, she knew everything. She was first in class. She was the classic know-it-all. All our teachers admired her for that and so did I.
"This night must be really special. It was the same night as the blue moon." I said, offering my hand to her as a gesture of asking her to dance.
"Maybe." She took my hand and put her other hand on my shoulder.
"Why maybe? Don't you think this night isn't special?"
"I'm not sure. That's why I said maybe, right?"
"I guess you have a point there." I said, imitating a detective.
She looked at me and giggled. I smiled at her. I saw that somehow, I made her happy. I mean, she laughed, that means she was happy. This gave me hope that maybe I could make her happy, not only now, forever maybe. She smiled at me as we danced our way to the entrance of the school. We danced around and around. When I would look at her, she would make a funny face and we would both laugh at each other. We had this undeclared game that whoever laughed last loses. This went on for a few minutes. But for me, it was just a few seconds.
"You know, I'm very happy that you asked me to dance."
"And I'm very happy you asked me to stay with you."
Suddenly, the bell rang. The clock stroked twelve. She had this worried look on her face. She slowly pulled away and looked into my eyes. She let out a big sigh and said,
"Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" I asked back, really confused.
"It's already twelve o'clock."
"So what? What's the big deal?"
"We have to take off our masks."
It was a big deal. I forgot about the part of the ball where we will finally take off our masks. I felt so stupid. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how she would react if she found out who I really was. But I couldn't run away now. She looked so beautiful; I couldn't take my eyes off her, I couldn't move my feet away from her. While I was breathing heavily, she said,
"So, are you ready?"
"I guess." I paused for I moment, not sure if I would say what was in my head. "But you have to promise me, when you find out who I am; you won't loathe me or jump into conclusions or whatever. And if you think I need to explain something, you would let me explain." I said, assuring she won't hate me after. Come to think of it, I looked pretty much like an idiot for doing that.
"Okay. I promise."
She placed her hand on my mask and slowly took it off my face, eyes closed. I could she on her face that she was excited. But that excitement turned to shock as she opened her brown almond eyes. She blinked a few times and looked at my mask that she held on her hands.
"You promised." I said, expecting some sort of bad phenomenon.
She looked at me, her smile slowly creeping back on her face. "And I'm keeping that promise."
I looked at her in question and said, "Okay. Aren't you going to ask me to explain? Or shout at my face? Or—" She placed her fingers on my lips and said,
"No. Why would I do such a thing? You have been good to me all night. And besides, I knew it was you all along. I just didn't say anything to make sure you knew it was me."
"How did you know I knew who you are?"
"When you asked me that when I find out who you are; I won't loathe you or jump into conclusions or whatever. And if I think you need to explain something, I would let you explain." I couldn't believe that she memorized what I said. But she did, and that made me laugh, which made her laugh along.
"When did you find out that it was me?"
"When you asked me to dance."
"Ah. Okay. So I guess the dyeing of the hair was not effective."
"Actually, it might have been effective but this news reached me that you were going to dye your hair black, and that you were going to wear all black." She giggled as she took her mask off.
"And it's okay with you?"
"Of course, it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?"
"Maybe it isn't okay because of everything I've done mean to you these past years."
"Past is past. Besides, I already saw your improvement since our first day here this year. You haven't said 'mudblood' or 'muggle-born' on my face or even insulted me. And you know, even if you haven't sorry yet, I've already forgiven you."
What she said was music to my ears. She had forgiven me. She had forgotten everything in our past. I can't believe that she did that. I was expecting a slap on the face or a revenge speech, but she was too golden-hearted to do that. She was kind and gentle. This made me fall for her even more.
"Well then, since I haven't said sorry yet, I'd like to say sorry now. If I would enumerate everything I did wrong to you, it would take us the whole night. So, I'm sorry."
I finally said 'I'm sorry' to her. I felt this joy in my heart for finally correcting my wrongs. And she accepted it with open arms. I felt so blessed to fall in love with an angel like her. She gave me back my mask, but I gave it back to her. She looked at me and asked why I didn't want it back. I told her that I wanted it to be my remembrance to her of the night we danced together, that I want it to remind her of our new born "friendship". She then gave me her mask.
"This will be my remembrance to you, as well."
I took it for her hands and looked at it. It glittered at the blue moon's light. It had the same shade of blue as her gown. I looked back at her and held her hand. I bowed at her and kissed her hand. She looked at me in shock as I pulled her close to me. I swayed her in the silence. We danced under the moonlight. I trusted my instincts on what to do. I didn't want to the night to end without me not showing a hint of what I feel for her. I realized we were face to face. I felt her warm breath on my face. Our eyes were not looking anywhere else but each other's. I never got the chance to get this close to her. Our lips were millimeters away. It was the moment I've been waiting for so long. I slowly leaned forward and kissed her.
After that night, we became close friends. We would always talk at the common room about anything under the sun. She told me the reason why she was lonely; it was her parents' death. She couldn't believe what happened to them. She thought about how she would live without her parents, alone. I told her that I would visit her everyday, which I really did. I told her some of my own problems like my dad and her friends. We grew into each other's arms. That night change my life. She made me feel complete.
But we never got together. I never got the chance to actually to tell her how I feel for her. She left me, I wouldn't tell you why. I couldn't. She told me not to. But I'm posting this here to tell someone about how it hurts when she's not around; how I miss her. And I know, she'll come back. I don't know where or when, but she will.
Hermione, if you're reading this now, I miss you so much. Come back. I want to spend my life with you. I love you.
A/N: I just made up that last part as in the "hermione, if you're.." part because i didn't know how to finish this story. if you think it's unappropriate, please don't tell me beacuse i already know that. i just wanted to give this chance to draco to tell hermione how he feels for her cause as he said (or i said), he didn't get the chance to tell her that. please read and review. no flames. thank you! mwa!