Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts and ideas! My Beta has disappeared; if anyone would like to take her spot, please, let me know

Ch.1 – Deplorable

Bella POV

As I laid in there staring at the barren wall of my bedroom situated sideways in my bed I couldn't help but think if this is what I wanted for my life; wasting away my senior year laying in bed unable to motivate myself for the simplest tasks. I tried at first, getting out and hanging with Jacob and the pack but everything seemed to remind me of him. The trees swaying; his soft billowy hair, the brilliance of the sun shining off of the ocean; his beautiful alabaster skin, the animals living, going about their daily routine in the forest; the molten gold color of his eyes. I wondered if I could be like Poe and live my existence in agony and write mesmerizingly heart-wrenching poems and drink myself into oblivion.

Who knows, maybe America's youth will be reading of my miseries in years to come. I couldn't help but think of all the men Renee went through. Donnie, the body builder who though his Mitsubishi was a Rolls Royce. Jose, the Hispanic famer who couldn't even speak English. George, the married man who had a high rise in New York where his twins stayed with their mother while he whisked my mother away to Aspen. Those were just the ones that came to the forefront of my mind. Then there was Phil, who wasn't a bad guy, he just reminded me of a golden retriever. How he was so infatuated with Renee I'll never know, but he managed to tie her down and impregnate her with my little brother, Liam. The now one year old was her pride and joy so I couldn't blame my mother that she hadn't noticed my plunge into depression.

I don't think I even missed Edward anymore I just didn't know what to do. I turned over in my bed I looked at my reflection in the mirror on the back of my door. You didn't need to have 20/20 to see I looked like shit. Why had I done this to myself? I held myself up along with Renee when another man left, I helped Charlie get over my mother, so now why the fuck couldn't I manage to brush my teeth at least? I ran my tongue over my pearly yellows now and I could feel the grime on them. I felt a slight shudder run through me. That needed to be remedied, but getting up was so hard. I was all but getting fed from a feeding tube now, I could hardly get out of bed I had let myself get so thin and sickly.

I mustered all the strength I could and screamed, "Charlie!" I was surprised at how loud it actually came out. I was so lost in my amazement that it didn't register Charlie had heard me until he was standing panting having all but busted down my door looking at me with wide eyes. I tried to pry myself from my bed but my arms couldn't hold me. I fell back to my bed with an annoyed huff. Charlie ran to my side as tears started pouring from my eyes.

"Dad, please. . . help me!" I asked him. His eyes shined with tears as he enveloped me in a hug.

"I knew you were still in there." He smiled at me.

"I'm so weak and tired, can you please carry me downstairs? I'm as hungry as a horse. " I smiled slightly through her tears.

Charlie took my downstairs and prepared a light can of soup for me. He called Sue while I ate and asked her to come and check on me, she was my nurse that visited me once a week to check that I was actually still alive and to give me a sponge bath. I looked down at my arms, god I must weigh 80 pounds at 5' 6"; I'm surprised I'm still alive. I'm going to make it a goal, to weigh 110; I could put on 30 pounds! I had to lightly chuckle at my little pep talk.

Charlie looked at me with a smile on his face as I finished about half my soup, it wasn't much, but it was a huge improvement from all but needing a feeding tube. It wasn't that much longer when Sue walked through the door. Charlie called me to the couch and she poked and prodded.

"I'm so happy for the change Bella, but what happened?" She asked me.

"I forgot how to live I guess. Ed, Edward and the Cullen's decided everything for me from the food I ate to what I could wear and say. I didn't know how to exist with out being told how to." I looked up and met her eyes, I felt ashamed.

"You just lost yourself Bella, it happens." Sue patted my arm.

"Do, do you think Leah would mind if I went and talked to her after I have my strength back?" I asked her.

"She would love that Bella." She smiled warmly at me.

"I really want to shower and brush my teeth, will you all help me?" I asked my dad and Sue. I was still too weak to walk. I didn't blush; those days were behind me, no more of this timid bullshit.

The rest of the week went much the same; dad would help me down stairs and eat, but at least I could start to walk. Sue would come over everyday and give me an IV and vitamins while her and dad bath helped me bathe. Normally I would be embarrassed to be naked in front of my father but he had really stepped up to the plate ever since I moved here. He even took time off work to be with me now. He called Billy and told him of my development, he was ecstatic to say the least. It seemed like a few days had blown by when I was walking up to Leah's door and knocking on it. She lived in a little cabin that wasn't too far from her parents but still tucked away enough she could shift in her backyard. I paused as I waited for her to open the door.

"Ah Swan, I figured I'd be seeing you soon." Leah stood there looking beautiful in her daisy dukes and flowing tank.

She stepped aside and I walked past her slowly and observed my surroundings. There was a crème sectional in the living room with a coffee table, mocha rug, and large flat screen on a stand. The kitchen was opposite of it, filled with greens from the granite tiles on the counter to the pots and decorations on the wall. The dining room had a 6 person cherry wood table with a bowl of fruit in the center. The house went much the same, soft earth tones on the walls, greens littered throughout, with pictures and decorations covering the walls. It all gave a very happy and soothing effect.

I looked at her surprised, I knew Leah had gotten over Sam but I never expected to see her smiling next to him in a picture on the wall. She gestured to the couch and I sat down. She sat next to me and put her arms on her legs and sighed.

"Losing Sam was the hard but not as hard as trying to find myself again." She started. I just looked at her in wonder.

"We were friends in pre-k together. We were each other's first best friends, kiss, we even lost our virginities to each other. It just seems natural that marriage and kids was the next step. He was there for every single moment in my life, not just the important ones, so once he was gone. . . "She paused.

"I didn't know how to be me without him." She finished and looked at me.

"But I learned that my happiness depended on myself, not on him. I learned to grow and heal as my own person, not needing to depend on anyone but myself, that why I moved in this cabin. What that leech did to you? I could ring your neck for getting involved with a filthy bloodsucker, but his entire family, how they left. . . I can't imagine what that was like." Leah stated.

"I just lost one person, you lost an entire family. But you didn't need that family, you craved it. Family isn't some people who pretend to be related Swan; it's the people who love you that you surround yourself with, regardless of DNA. The pack, these guys, they're my family; Sam is my family. I learned to forgive him and love again. I missed Sam in my life, but not as my lover. After Emily left him, he needed someone, so I was there for him, but it felt nice not to want him romantically. We have an even more incredible relationship now that we're just friends." She smiled a little as she looked at me. I had to gasp, Sam and Emily were no longer together and Leah wasn't with him?

"What happened to Emily?" I asked.

"She did love Sam, the imprint helped with that, but imprinter can be anything you need. Sam was too serious for Emily; she was still a child and wanted to act like one. She went up to the Makah rez and it came to light a few months later that she ended pregnant. She still won't say who's it is but now she's back up there with her parents." Leah had to chuckle.

"What happened to Sam?" I asked.

"He realized that the imprint got a little carried away, Emily needed a guardian to watch her and Sam just wanted to be loved unconditionally. He let her go after a while and they still talk on the phone. She's learning to be an adult and Sam's just her guiding voice." She stated.

"But what about you? You didn't want to get back together?" I asked.

"No." Leah smiled again, this time bigger.

"Sam and I were destined because it was convenient. We didn't know any better. We're much better friends, we but heads too much. He needs a nurturing and caring woman and I am neither of those things. Brady and I are actually together." She pointed to a picture of her in a sundress lying against the chest of a beautiful man with hair that hung in his eyes and a 5 o-clock shadow on his face in low-rise jeans and no shirt. It was a beautiful picture, I couldn't help but stare memorized.

"Did you all imprint?" I asked. Leah chuckled.

"No, we've figured the imprint doesn't have to be romantic, Jared and Kim just chose to be. Quil is simply Claire's older brother. Embry is with a nice girl named Angela; I believe she said she knew you. Brady and I fell in love the natural way and it's 20 times better than the imprint, no offense to Jared and Kim. If I ever to imprint, they'll simply be a friend, sister, brother, whatever else and the same goes to Brady, we're not worried about it at all."

I sat back and sighed. So much had happened since I was gone, oh well, I was here now and that's all that mattered.

"Leah, I'm feeling much better than before but I still feel hollow, like I have constant heart burn and I really don't know how to make it go away." I looked at her.

"Come on Swan." She got up and held her hand out to me, I grabbed it and followed her into what seemed to be her bedroom. She handed me a pair of underarmor spandex and a sports bra.

"They might be a little big, but you'll grow into them." She stated. I looked at her confused as she pulled similar items out for her. She just pointed to the clothes and told me to put them on.

I did as instructed and stripped right in her room, we are both girls, doesn't really matter. I put on the outfit and slipped my Nike sneakers back on. She walked past me into the kitchen and got 2 water bottles and filled them. She instructed me to put my hair into a ponytail and gave me a headband.

"First start is body, then mind Bella. Once your body heels, your mind can start." She smiled softly.

"Oh god, I'm awful at physical activity though! I'm such a klutz!" I stuttered.

"Your insecurities are nothing but a state of mind Bella. Practice and you'll be fine, you'll grow out of them." She handed me a water bottle, backed a bag full of energy bars and two washcloths. We headed out her back door and into the woods, she started jogging and I slowly followed. We climbed up what seemed to be the rockiest and steepest hill possible. I fell about every two steps. I had small cuts and bruises all over but we kept going. Once we got to the top Leah pulled out a washcloth and I poured water on it and I used it to wash myself off. I felt battered and bruised but I also felt rejuvenated to get back up after I fell, to know that I could. We ate our energy bars as we looked out over the ocean.

We headed back down and it was just as hard as going up, the steep slopes made me tumble a few times but I did better than the way up. As we reached Leah's cabin she smiled and told me to meet her here at the same time tomorrow. I went home and actually cooked dinner, a feast full of chicken, potatoes, and salad. I invited Sue and Harry over to eat with dad and I and it was a wonderful idea. The conversation was light as the food passed between us as Harry told us what shenanigans the boys had gotten into. I had taken talking to my dad about everything. I told him of the legends, including the La Push boys and the Cullen's. He was upset that things this important were kept from him but he said if he ever saw Edward again, he would light him on fire. I had to giggle a little at that. Our relationship had soared through this. I might actually have to write the Cullen family telling them thank you for leaving, my friends here showed me what an actual family is like, having real people around you that truly do love you for you regardless of faults.

I continued going to Leah's house everyday and Brady had even started to join us on our runs. Once we got to the top of the cliff they would phase and play with each other. I had taken up drawing. So far I was stuck in a charcoal phase. Drawing the details of the wolves with only charcoal made it look so much more alive. Leah had hung up my first masterpiece, a picture of a girl screaming with her hair wild around her and fists at her sides while staring at the ocean, in her living room. She said it reminded her that everyone needs to let go everyone once in a while. Drawing helped eased the pain in my mind. I even drew the Cullen's sometimes but not out of spite but just to see what perfection was and remind myself I never wanted it. I loved the fact that I had more freckles on the right side of my face than left. I loved my chocolate brown eyes that had flecks of green in them all around. I loved the natural reds that flowed through my dark mahogany hair, I even loved when it frizzed due to the humidity.

I stopped tripping for the most part. Leah and I had started yoga as well; I love meditating and finding peace inside of my mind for once. I was finally starting to be a healthy weight, gain my healthy glow back, my nails were strong again, and my hair was full of life a shined in the sun. I started hanging out with all of the guys again, especially Jacob. I hadn't realized how much I missed Angela; she, Leah, and I made it a point to have a girl's night once a week with Kim as well if she wanted. Dad got me the new IPhone along with a Mac Book, I couldn't believe my eyes but he said I deserved it. I applied for community colleges but continued to be homeschooled. I was finally over the Cullen's but going back to Fork's High after all this time would just raise questions. Graduation was just a few weeks away and the only person I had yet to hand out with was Sam. Paul had even made his presence known quite often.

"Sup leech lover?" He has asked me the first time he saw me.

"Oh shove it up your ass Cujo!" I glared at him. Everyone had stared at me except Leah, she just let out a fully belly laugh.

Paul surprised me even more by sitting next me in the sand, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and told me, "I'm glad Swan, I was getting ready to cancel my subscription, I was getting tired of your issues!" He smiled cheekily.

I belted out a laugh as everyone just stared. It was the start of a beautiful friendship from there. He looked out for me as much as I did him. The only person I had yet to see what Sam, I always missed him which seemed impossible considering I was always down here on the rez with my dad. I had a feeling he had a girlfriend but didn't want to say anything yet. I just wanted my dad to be happy, he deserved it.

I couldn't help but smile at the boys as they were playing football in the water somehow. The girls and I were lying in the sand tanning, not that they needed it with their beautiful skin! I smiled at my friends around me; I don't know what I would do without them. With the help of Leah I pieced my heart back together myself, I didn't need a man to do it for me. I was strong; I just had to realize it. I now ran with Leah everyday, it was a wonderful release and I continued to draw, it was fun and I was starting to get really good at it.

I turned to Leah and laughed as she laughed a snowball made out of sand and threw it at the back of Brady's head. I just laughed as she squealed and ran away from him. I could see how happy he made her and I hoped one day I could find a love that special.

"Sam!" I heard Leah scream.

I turned and looked with my sunglasses over my eyes and I had to push them down to see if what was in front of me a few yards away was real. This man looked like Sony Bill Williams, the fuck hot rugby player my father watched on TV, only real and here in front of me. He was definitely taller than Sony, standing at a good 6' 8", he was a giant! His muscles rippled as he walked by and the sun glittered off his perfect pearly whites as he smiled and spun Leah around as she launched herself at him. Brady came up and they did a man handshake thing that I never understood, what happened to a simple high five? He had hair that reminded me of obsidian as it was spiked forward slightly. His swim trunks were low on his hips and I could eat cereal out of his v-lines I decided. I felt Kim's finger swipe across my chin. I turned and glared at her for interrupting my staring session with the epitome of the Grecian god in front of me.

"Sorry Bella, had to wipe the drool you dribbled!" She kicked her feet up and clutched her stomach as she laughed. I huffed, put my sunglasses back up on my nose. I looked at my water bottle with an evil smile; I grabbed it, stood up and sprayed it all over Kim. Apparently a girl shrieking got everyone's attention as Kim gave me the stink eye.

"You better run bitch!" She yelled at me. I laughed and took off down the beach with red bikini barely hanging on as I ran as hard as I could down the beach towards Leah. I looked at her as I ran by and threw the rest of my water bottle at her. She screeched louder than Kim if that was possible. I continued running full speed towards Paul.

"Paul! I'm getting on your back!" He hunched down so I could hop on his back and I jumped full force at him. He caught me effortlessly but instead of running he just flipped me over and held me bridal style with a grin on his face.

"Paul! You traitor! Run Lassie run!" But alas, he wouldn't budge and Leah and Kim caught up. Leah scooped me up against my wiggling and protests and she jumped in the ocean.

"Holy shit! It's cold!" It was my turn to scream. Leah laughed at me as we walked back to shore.

"You suck ass Leah, my nipples can cut glass right now!" I felt a blush come to my face for the first time in months as I could feel Sam's gaze on me, directly on my pert nipples. I felt fire left in its wake as his gaze traveled down my body. I pulled my sunglasses from my eyes, put my hand on my hip and winked at him. I put my glasses back on my face and turned towards Leah. She had a shit-eating grin on her face as she raised an eyebrow at me. I simply shrugged and used my leg to kick her butt as we walked to our spots on the towels. I knew the upcoming weeks would be hectic with graduation, but with my friends at my side I could conquer the world.

Sam POV

I ran my hands over my face as I stepped out of my shower. I wrapped a towel around myself as I made my way to my room. I was worn out from the week's events. Along with patrols my Architectural Firm was skyrocketing. Most of the guys worked for my firm either building, engineering, or things like accounting. It was great business for the rez. We had tons of bids here, in Port Angelos, and in Seattle. If it got much bigger I would need to hire more people. Leah sent me a text asking me to come to the beach say I had been ignoring her for long enough. I had to chuckle at that. Leah worked as my top Accountant; she knew exactly how busy we had been.

Having her friendship meant the world to me. After the whole Emily fiasco, I really needed a friend. I forgot how much I had missed Leah; it was such a different experience getting to be her friend with no romantic attachments. She was easily my best friend. I had heard from her and the guys though she had been hanging with the Swan girl. She told me how the leech's left her and it made my blood boil. My father was the rez man whore but he never abandoned his children. Growing up he let Embry and I both know how wanted we were. His infidelity was not of the highest esteem, but he was a wonderful father otherwise.

I tugged my board shorts on and headed to the beach. I saw Leah scream my name as she ran towards me. I picked her up and spun her around. I turned and found what must've been a porn star sunbathing. She had on a blood red bikini, aviators, and her mahogany hair was floating around her like a halo. I could see the red streaks in it begging me to take a fist full and tug it as I slammed into her from behind. I felt her eyes raking over my body and I prayed she couldn't see the hard on I was supporting. Leah simply raised her eyebrow at me. I just smirked as if nothing was wrong. Next thing I knew little Miss Red Riding Hood was hurling towards us. I was genuinely surprised at her speed she had angry Kim screaming and following her. She came up and threw water all over Leah, I belted out a laugh as Leah looked like a drowned cat. Leah joined Kim as Bella called for Paul to help her. I grew a tad bit jealous as Bella jumped on Paul and he easily flipped her over and she was cradled against his chest. I must've let a small growl slip as Paul looked up and smirked at me.

My focus moved from him to Bella. She was not sopping wet as dark curls hung down her back sticking to her skin making it so I got a wonderful full frontal view. She commented on her nipples and I couldn't help but focus on them. I could see them straining against the fabric of that tight red suit. How I would love to palm her gorgeous mounds and run my thumbs over her nipples then take them into my mouth. I continued my view downward to her toned stomach down to her tanned, muscular legs that seemed to go on forever. God, she was sex on heels. I wanted to burry my dick as far in her as I possibly could.

I faintest hint of cherry blossom and honey hit my nose; I realized it was her arousal. God, I wanted to burry my tongue and lick her from back to front until she drenched my face with her heavenly juices. There was also another subtle hint of sweet crème . . . I was smacked out of my reverie by Paul putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yea bro, she's a virgin, how sweet does she smell?" He smirked. I gave him an irritated glare.

"Hurt her though all mighty Alpha and I'll fucking make you wish you were dead." I just raised my eyebrow and shook my head up and down.

I thought I was going to bust my nut when she winked at me and sashayed back to her towel. I wanted to bed her over until she knew who she belonged to!

From what I heard this little temptress would be sticking around for a while; I planned on showing her scorching heat was so much better than ice cold. If I had my way, she would on all fours as I sank my teeth in her neck, cum coating her tight, hot walls as she screamed my name. With that thought I licked my lips and made my way towards her towel. I didn't know what these next few weeks would bring, but I was excited to find out.

AN: Just a little thought I had in my head floating around. I will update my other stories I promise! I love Jacob, but I wanted a story where Bella learned to heel herself and it wasn't some miracle and bam she was better! Oh well, I hope you this! I love Sam, that whole Alpha shit, fuck hot I tell you. Thank you again for reading and lemme know if you'd like to be my Beta!