Happiness, confusion and sadness.

That's what I feel every night.
At first, I play with my fratello- innocent game.

"Fratello! Come on! Toss the ball already!" I complain in my 7 years old voice when again papa says "kids, be careful not to throw it too hard!" "All right papa!" Feliciano chirps and threw the ball to me again giggling. My youngest fratello, Marcello started giggling as well but more of a one years old child's giggles of nothingness.

Sometimes I wish mother had forgotten her headphones that day… stopped our game as usual when dad was driving and keeping it calm, so what I have done wouldn't happen at all…

I threw the ball.

Screaming… and screeches of the wheels as the car was spinning round and round… then there was a big crash.

Blackness. Everything is black.
I open my eyes, everything is blurry and painful.. "Mommy? Daddy? What happened?" I asked and everything became clearer. I touched my mother's hand, it was cold. "Mommy? Are you asleep?" I asked and moved closer to look at her.

I screamed. I never heard in my entire life someone scream so hard in terror.

In front of me was my mother. Drenched in blood, glass shreds was all over her face and a frozen face of terror and panic. In my 7 years old mind I knew it already, Mommy is not here anymore. "P-Papa? What happened? Why is mommy like that?!" I cried and looked at where my father's head once was.

I blacked out.

Later when I woke up, we were in nonno's house. Feli had jumped happily on the bed when he saw I woke up. "Nonno! Nonno! Fratello is up!" he screamed in joy and Marcello got closer to me and put my hand in his mouth. Nonno came into the room and sighed in relief when he saw me. "Feli, can you take Maro with you? I need to talk with Lovino." He said and Feliciano nodded as he took Marcello with him.
"Nonno it's my fault, isn't it?" I said as I looked down on my hands which were holding the blanket tightly "I wish I could say it wasn't…" he sighed and looked away from me. The world had blackened as he got slowly out of the room.

I cried, so fucking hard.

My fault! It was all me! I killed them! I made them like that! I should've died with them! I don't deserve to live! I don't- Feliciano came quietly into the room and sat in front of me. "Lovi, will you go to the stars too?" he asked quietly as he sniffled.

I stared at him "what?" "will you go to the stars too, like mama and papa?" he asked. "…No, as long as you keep smiling I won't." I said as I whipped his tears "Really?" he asked "Really really. So stop crying and smile, make the world better with it." I said and hugged him. "Okay!" he giggled and returned the hug.

I woke up.

I groaned as I found out Feli was trying to kill me by his motherfucking hug from hell's fire which was invented by a fucking French and German people. Yeah, it was that horrible. I felt my soul slipping away! "Feli. Feli You're killing me! Let me go." I panicked and he let go of me quickly. "Yayyyyy you're awake~ it's your first day in high school so you should hurry or Toni will worry!" he chirped and giggled as he found out it rhymed.

I facepalmed, hard.

..That fucking hurt motherfucker ouch!

As I got over the pain I dressed up like an Italian boss- that I am and went downstairs with all the Italian style I had.

God, I feel so gay.

Anyway, I drank my coffee so I'll be awake and went out with my bag that I left last night in front of the door.

But my oh so loving family wouldn't be happy with that, oh no. the moment I took a step out of the door I was hugged by three different Italians who insisted I should stay at home forever and ever and ever~ -by Feli's words of course. "Let me go you bastards! The soon as I start this day, the sooner it's over!" I yelled "Oh Lovino! You hurt my feelings so." The stupid fuckface sighed dramatically as he and his friends tomato bastard and Albino potato bastard stood in front of us.

"Don't whine you bastards! Help me here!" I demanded and they helped me with a sigh.

"thank you." I said as I got out from an Italian hug to a perverted hug (yeah Francis, remove your hand from there!) "bye!" I yelled at my whining family as I started walking with the FAG trio (Francis, Antonio, Gilbert).

I slapped Francis's hand from my ass, Antonio's from my waist and Gilbert's from my head. "Lovi~ that wasn't nice! Let me hug youuuu!" Antonio whined loudly "mon cher~ Romano is just moody because of school, don't worry." Francis said as he patted Antonio, on the ass. "Kesesesesesese this day shall be Awesome like the Awesome me~" Gilbert said all of a sudden as expected from his ADHD.

I facepalmed, as usual.

HETALIA IS NOT MINE AND WILL NOT BE AT ANY POINT. :I

Hello people~ I'm a new writer in here so PLEASE DON'T HIT ME TOO HARD QAQ
well I love reading and I decided to write and mess with some people's feels :D
but siriusly, I tend to sometimes forget about my stories so review it so I'll have energy to write! :D
thank you for reading my silly mess! ~nameIDC