This is Me

In all honesty, my life has never been normal. People see me as this beautiful comedy star, but they never see what's underneath. Before you say anything, no, I am not insecure. I like myself the way I am, but there are some things they can't see. Literally. I see spirits. As in, real ghosts. Ever since I was five years old, they've been following me.

I can understand and communicate with them, which I never do in public. That would freak people out just as much as it did in elementary through middle school. Everyone saw me as a lier or a freak, maybe even both. So, I chose to keep my secret to myself. I told my ghostly friends this the summer before 9th grade started.

Many of the spirits of my past have faded away into obscurity, leaving only three. A young Victorian woman named Clara, who's translucent skin was perfect beyond compare, a middle-aged woman named Elizabeth, who had died when the Titanic sank, and a small boy named Peter.

"Good morning." I said, when I saw the three spirits sitting on the foot of my bed. They each cracked a smile, "Now, what should I wear today?" I muttered to herself, going through my closet until I found the perfect outfit.

The three ghosts followed me out the door after I was finished, and I pretended not to notice them as I crossed the street on the way to work. On my way, I saw another ghostly figure of an elderly man sitting on a wooden bench, and out of habit, I waved to him.

Because it wasn't just the three ghosts that accompanied me on a day-to-day basis. No, there were thousands of spirits all over the world. And, as far as I had noticed, I was the only one who could see them.

I waved to my sort of friend Tawni Hart, who was looking at her own reflection in her hand-held mirror. Clara smiled and walked behind the girl to get a good look at herself. She turned to the side and flipped her luxurious hair over her shoulder, then blew a kiss to her own reflection.

I rolled my eyes and motioned for the girl to come back. She stuck her tongue out and returned to my side.

"You could have just let me look at myself one more time." She said, "I'm the jammiest jam alive."

"Humma?"I asked.

"I haven't said anything."

I turned to the side and laughed awkwardly at the sight of my blonde friend.

"Oh, Tawni. Sorry, didn't see you there."

"Were you just talking to yourself?" Tawni asked.

"Yes, Mm-hm. I was."

Tawni shook her head, "You're so weird, Sonny."

"Well, I can't disagree." I said, followed by a firm nod.

We walked inside together onto set. We were due in a couple of minutes for a practice run-through of tomorrow's show. Unfortunately, the entrance to the So Random! Stage was blocked, so that meant we had to cut through the Mackenzie Falls set. I was instantly confronted by a certain blonde-haired stuck up actor.

"Sonny." He said.

"Chad."

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Your stupid goons are blocking the door. Which sadly means I have to take this shortcut."

He chuckled to himself, "Whatever."

I ignored the laughing and snickering of the ghosts behind me. I did, however, shot a subtle warning look at them.

"I'm leaving." I announced.

"Good." He said.

"Good!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

We each walked the opposite direction, me towards the doors and Chad back to set. Clara and Elizabeth giggled, but none of us noticed Peter sneaking off to follow Chad.

"You guys are ridiculous." I whispered to the two girls, once I was out in the hall. Elizabeth smiled and floated down in front of me, "You like him, don't you Sonny?" She asked, Clara nodding her head gleefully behind the other ghost.

"I do not!" I argued, stepping back a bit, "And even if I did..." I said, "He wouldn't like a girl like me."

"What, are you ashamed of us?" Elizabeth asked, sounding slightly hurt.

"Of course not! I love you guys. All I'm saying is that no boy would ever want to go out with me."

"Why in the entire world would you think that? You're amazing, Sonny."

A small smile managed to creep up on my lips, "Thanks." It then faded away, "But they'll just think I'm crazy."

"Sunshine..." Elizabeth said, following me into my dressing room. I took a seat by my own vanity and began to apply my makeup. I hummed a tune to myself, but then stopped dead when I realized something. Weren't there supposed to be three ghosts here?

"Um, guys?" I asked nervously, twirling around in my stool to face them, "Has anyone seen Peter?"

Clara and Elizabeth looked around and their eyes bugged out of their heads when they each realized his disappearance.

"This is bad." I said to myself, "This is really, really bad." I pulled myself off my stool and stomped out, the three ghosts quickly flying after me.

"Where are you going?" Clara asked.

"To Mackenzie Falls." I answered, picking up my speed, "We have to find him as fast as we can!"

The ghosts nodded and picked up their speed, zooming through the entrance to the double doors. I turned the knob open and ran onto set, checking every nook and cranny for the small boy. I didn't need to tell my friends what to do, because they were already on the search themselves. I walked up to the set, where they were currently shooting and pushed Chad out of the way. I had seen a light blue glow behind the set piece, and there he was, standing beside the lighting director.

I marched up to him and cleared my throat. Peter turned around and flew back a couple steps at the sight of my angry face. I growled at him and grabbed him by his ear, which shouldn't be possible since he wasn't well, solid.

But I was different. Either that, or the ghosts were. I could touch them without my hand going through their freezing cold bodies. Peter cried out in agony as I dragged him out of the studio and motioned for the other ghosts to follow me out.

A tanned hand grabbed my wrist, and I found herself gazing into the curious eyes of Chad Dylan Cooper.

"What?" I asked, glaring at him.

"I think the proper question is what you are doing here?"

"Just lost someo-something when I was on your stupid set this morning."

"Oh, what was it?" He said, sounding skeptical.

"Oh, my cell." I pulled it out of my jeans' pocket, "Lucky I found it, though." I turned on my heel and walked away, but Chad grabbed my hand, "Sonny?" He asked, pulling me back.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"Easy Monroe, just calm down." He laced his fingers within mine, "Just tell me what's wrong."

"Why do you care?" I asked.

"You're just acting weird, that's all. And that's saying something, since you're a Random and all."

I leaned in close to him to where we were almost brushing noses, "None of your business." I whispered, glaring at him.

"What, do you have an imaginary friend or something?" He teased.

The scowl on my face dropped into a deep frown, and I yanked my hand away. I stomped off, nodding towards the door. The ghosts flew out, except for Clara, who flew through Chad's body, sending an icy chill down his spine.

She flipped her curled hair and followed me into my dressing room. Luckily, the room was empty, so seeing me scolding Peter was nothing I had to hide.

"...Do you know how worried we were?" I shouted, glaring at the boy, "You are way too young to be running off like this!"

"Um, he's actually a lot older than you." Elizabeth pointed out.

"Nevertheless, he's still got the mind and body of a six-year-old!" I shook my head in disappointment, "Don't you ever run away like that again!"

"I'm sorry, Sonny."

The boy whimpered and nodded. He floated over to me and wrapped me in a chilling hug. I hugged him back but pulled away when I saw Tawni standing under the doorframe.

"Sonny?" She asked, raising her eyebrows, "What are you doing? You missed rehearsal."

"Uh..." I cleared my throat, "Uh...nothin'. Ju-just chillin'."

I took a seat down on the tiger-patterned chair. Tawni frowned and sat down on the arm of the chair, "I guess I'm supposed to ask what's wrong." She stated.

"I appreciate the concern Tawn, but everything is fine." I lied.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious!"

Tawni shook her head, "Sonny, you can tell me. Whatever it is can't be any weirder than any of the stuff you're into."

I frowned, "No." I said, moving over to her vanity. Tawni followed me over and pulled a stool up next to me, "Explain. Now." She ordered.

"There's nothing to explain."

"Yeah, sure." She rolled her eyes, "You're a horrible liar, Sonny." She said, "Just spill already."

"No." I argued, "If you knew, you'd never want to talk to me again."

"Ha." She scoffed, "Seriously? Now your just being dramatic."

I shook my head, "I'm telling the truth! If you knew this, you'd be embarrassed to be around me." I said, "It's for your own good."

I got up and brushed away a stray tear, then walked out of the room. Tawni watched me in curiosity. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and sadly walked out the door. The three ghosts followed me outside, each one by my side.

I had had enough for one day. I ditched the rest of work and locked myself up in her bedroom. Clara, Elizabeth, and Peter knew better than to talk to me right now. I just wanted to be by herself, and they didn't want to do anything to disturb me (no matter how hard it felt to hear my crying).

There was a knock on the apartment door, but I ignored it. The three ghosts, however, were growing agitated by the second. They had to hold Peter back so that he wouldn't out and go open the door.

Elizabeth pursed her lips and entered my room. She keeled down in front of me, "Honey..."

"Elizabeth." I said, shaking my head, "Please leave me alone."

"But miss, there are people at your door."

"I'm aware." I said, looking up at my friend through my puffy red eyes.

"Shouldn't you just tell them, sweetheart?"

"No..." I said, "I lived my entire life with only one friend. Everyone thought I was some freak show. But now I have friends. And I don't want to lose that, no matter how horrible it feels to lie to them."

Elizabeth bit her lower lip, "You are ashamed of me."

"No. Never!" I reassured, "I just...I don't know..."

The ghost smiled at me, "Whatever you wish to do. Just promise me you will make the right choice?" She grabbed my shoulders, and smiled, "You could at least open the door."

I sighed, "Well, it is getting annoying."

Elizabeth smiled, "There you go." She helped me up and guided me out of the door. But I grabbed the ghostly woman's hand and frowned, "What if they start asking questions? What do I do?"

"That is up to you."

I nodded and let go of her hand, then opened the apartment. Not much to my surprise, Tawni, along with my other So Random! Friends were there, all with equal looks of concern. Tawni came in first and crossed her arms, staring at the me.

"Okay, you've had your fun Sonny. You must tell us what's up with you. Now." She ordered, walking closer.

"But- "

"No. Just tell us."

"Its just that, if you knew, you'd never want to see me again."

"Oh, there you go with that again. What could possibly be that- "

"I can talk to ghosts, okay? That's my thing. Ever since I was five years old. You happy?" I asked angrily.

"Okay." Tawni said, "Now what's the real secret?"

"I'm telling the truth!" I argued.

The cast stared into to my chocolate eyes, each of her friends took a step back when she saw I was being serious.

"Crazy..." Tawni muttered to herself, then turned the knob. All my friends rushed out the door, leaving me all alone. I slid down the wall and bawled my eyes out, each of my ghostly friends sitting down next to me. Clara laid her head on my shoulder, and Elizabeth and Peter held each of my hands.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth said.

"Its not your fault." I responded, "Its mine. I knew I shouldn't have told them."

I stayed like that, in the same position for hours to come. I really needed someone (alive) to talk to, but my mother had been strangely distant lately. She hadn't been home for a few days now, and I was getting worried.

The ghosts urged me to go to bed, telling me that it would make me feel better, and helped me up. Elizabeth tucked me into bed and turned off the light. Each one of the ghosts kissed me goodnight.

I had made such a mess of myself, and I wasn't sure how to fix it.