This story was written for the 16th round of the Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge at Talk CSI. The song prompt was "Never Let Me Down Again" by Depeche Mode (written by Martin L. Gore). Lyrics are in italics.
"You know…I went on that with Grissom once."
Nick looked to see where Warrick was pointing, but he already knew what it was. They were driving east on Tropicana Avenue on their way to dinner and were passing the New York, New York hotel and casino. The roller coaster was just making its downhill approach toward the street and then curved up and around the imitation skyline, sounds of screams and laughter filling the air as it went by. Nick sat back in his seat. "Yeah, I know."
"You know?" Warrick asked incredulously. "How did you find out?"
"Everybody knew, Warrick." Nick rolled his eyes. "I mean, everyone was talking...comparing evaluations, which...Grissom never did do a real one on anyone. Who the hell knows what he put in our files?"
Warrick appeared to think about this as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. He parked the car and turned off the engine and then looked at Nick. "What do you mean he didn't do a real evaluation?"
"Did you ever get a piece of paper? Or you just went on a roller coaster ride with him and that was that?"
"A piece of...? I don't know, man. I just assumed he wrote somethin' up," Warrick said as he got out of the car.
Nick got out as well and walked beside him toward the restaurant. "Did you sign anything?"
"No, I didn't sign anything, but...what are you gettin' at?"
Nick ignored the question as they entered the restaurant. He went to the hostess and gave her his name, and soon he and Warrick were sitting at a table in the bar, enjoying their food and drinks and talking about other things. It wasn't until they were on their second round of beer that Nick got back to the subject they had been discussing. "What I was getting at, was that I thought it was a lousy thing to do."
"Huh?"
"The roller coaster ride...the 'evaluation'. It was just his way of copping out of it like he did the rest of them. Well, most of the rest of them." Nick tipped his bottle up and took a long swig.
Warrick leaned over the table, eyes narrowed, and asked, "What do you mean most of them? C'mon...spill it."
"I don't know, man...but like Sara...she asked me how many 'outstandings' I got. Can you believe that shit?"
"Aw c'mon...you know her. She's always makin' like she knows everything when she doesn't." Warrick laughed. "She was just yanking with you."
"Maybe," Nick huffed. "Still."
Warrick sat back and thought about what his friend was saying. Now that he thought about it, it had been a strange way for Grissom to evaluate him. At the time though all he had been thinking about was how lucky he was to still have a job. Grissom hadn't fired him after what had happened with Holly, but..."You know what?"
Nick noticed that Warrick had grown a little somber. He was beginning to rethink bringing this whole thing up. But they had started down the road...might as well keep going and see where they ended up. "What?"
"You're right." Warrick looked him in the eye. "It was a cop out. And I didn't deserve to get off so easy. I should've been fired, man. He let me off on that...they told him to fire me, and he didn't." He picked his beer up and studied it before mumbling, "He should have."
Nick's feelings on that issue were mixed and had been ever since Holly's death. He was glad to still have his friend as a work partner, but Warrick had screwed up and screwed up bad. "Well..."
"Well what? You think so too, don't you?"
"I don't know, man." Nick shook his head.
"Yeah, you do," said Warrick. "It's okay."
"It's just...well...Jesus, Warrick...no offense, but...somebody got killed on your watch, man. Killed. And you were gambling on the job, and...I know you didn't mean any harm, but...he let you off on it."
Warrick shrugged. "I think he knew."
"Knew what?"
"He wasn't lettin' me off on it. Because he knew I'd never let myself off on it. And that was my punishment."
Some punishment, Nick thought."Did it work?" he asked, although the look on his friend's face told him that it had. And Nick already knew that Warrick was a changed man after what had happened. He had kept his gambling in check, and just a few weeks ago he had torn into a cop for not clearing a scene completely. Catherine had ended up with a gash on her head thanks to the cop's negligence, and Warrick had freaked out, the incident coming way too close to what had happened the night Holly was killed. He had learned his lesson all right.
"Yeah," Warrick said quietly. "It worked." He looked at Nick. "But you never said anything to me about it. What did you...did it make you…how did you feel about it?"
"I was pissed at you. And disappointed." The words were out of Nick's mouth before he knew it, and the look on Warrick's face made him wish he could take them back. His friend looked dismayed, but not entirely surprised. "I'm sorry…but it's true." Nick shook his head. "What were you thinkin', man?"
"I wasn't. I wasn't thinking." Warrick lowered his head for a moment and then looked up again. "I'm not makin' excuses, but you know we all got left on scenes like that one."
"Not on our first night."
"Yeah…well…" Warrick signaled to their waitress that they were ready for the check and then addressed Nick again. "It's in the past. It's over…and I'm done talkin' about it."
But Nick wasn't. "That's not the only reason I was pissed."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Grissom let you off on that…let you keep your job, and then took you on a fuckin' roller coaster ride. You know what kind of evaluation I got?" When Warrick shook his head, Nick continued, "One sentence. He asked me a fuckin' riddle. And I failed. Simple as that."
It sounded so ridiculous that Warrick almost laughed, but he suppressed the urge and asked instead, "Riddle? What do you mean?"
Nick put his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I went in there to talk to him…man to man, you know? I wanted to know why he wouldn't let me work a DB solo. Hell, Warrick…Sara got to do it…you got to do it…even after what happened with Holly." He sighed. "I know I sounded like I was whining. I hated that. But I had to say something."
"And what happened?"
"I made a fool of myself." Nick shrugged. "Proved him right. I went on and on about how I wanted to be a cop so I could be the man, you know? And how I wanted to do good for him."
"Really?" Warrick looked surprised. "You still feel that way?"
"Hell no." Nick sat back in his chair and drained the last of his beer as Warrick threw some bills on the table to pay their check. When the waitress took the money and left, he continued, "After that I thought, 'Screw him'. I wasn't gonna do anything for anybody but myself…just do the best job I could and whatever happened happened. What he thought didn't matter to me anymore."
"Sooo…" Warrick was grinning at him.
"Yeah, so." Nick rolled his eyes. "So he was right. It worked. Still pissed me off though."
"Hey…what was the riddle?"
"Nothin'…it was stupid." Nick stood up from the table and pushed his chair back in as Warrick remained seated, staring at him expectantly.
Warrick laughed. "Come on…tell me."
Nick set his jaw and shook his head. "Nope. C'mon…let's go."
Warrick was already sitting in the car when Nick got in next to him. He turned to look at him and asked, "Sure you don't want to tell me what that riddle was?"
Nick shook his head again as he fastened his seat belt. "Nope."
"All right, man." Warrick pulled his seat belt across and snapped it shut as well. "I'm just sayin'…I'm pretty good at riddles."
Nick turned to look at him. "Warrick, just let it go. And hang on."
Warrick laughed and then they both faced forward as the roller coaster slowly started its ascent to the top of the hill.
I'm taking a ride with my best friend
We're flying high
We're watching the world pass us by
Never want to come down
Never want to put my feet back down on the ground
I'm taking a ride with my best friend