What you're looking For

"So what?" Jane asked seeing Frost shrug his shoulders and Korsak shake his head. "Okay. None of us knows what's been wrong with her and at least one of us should know. Don't you think?"

"Yes I agree she has been acting odd."

"This is Maura we're talking about," Korsak defended the doctor. "She's always been hard to put in a box. Don't you think maybe you're over thinking this just a little bit?" he asked. "Don't you think that if she wanted to talk to one of us she would?"

"Look I'm just worried," Jane began pacing. "Since this whole 'Hope' incident she has been so out of character…changed."

"Wouldn't you?" Korsak asked. "I mean we can't sit here and expect Maura to be her usual self."

"She is more guarded," Frost nodded his head looking at his peers. "I've got to give you that. And she seems more distant than usual."

"When she is ready we'll be here." Jane paused. Leaving the Dirty Robber Jane sat in her car. Going over the events from the prior week…besides hope, that's when Maura's off behavior started.

"…next thing you know, wham, Frost knees him right in the nu…ahhh well you get the idea," she laughed with her best friend at the table.

A soft buzzing sound caught Jane's attention. "That's me," She smiled at her friend. "Hello?" she responded answering her phone. "Hi. Yeah. Dinner with my best friend," she nodded. "Absolutely! okay. See you then. Bye." She flipped her phone shut and looked up a set of eyes watching her curious.

"What?"

"You're blushing," Maura winked. "That was a guy wasn't it?"

"His name is Bill," Jane looked down at the table. "We met at this defense course thing the other day."

"So you're going out with him?" Maura asked curious. Jane looked up and locked eyes with her best friend. There was something lined within her voice, something Jane couldn't put her finger on…or rather didn't want too.

"You have a date?" Maura asked again.

"It's not a date," Jane shook her head. "We're meeting for dinner to toss around some ideas for a women's self defense class."

"But it's dinner," Maura went on, "Is there going to be drinking?"

"And eating," Jane nodded.

"And kissing…" Maura couldn't stop asking. "Is he cute?"

"He's not bad looking," Jane shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think I'd compare him to…" she stopped talking. 'you', she thought to herself.

She knew she had a school girl crush. She also knew it was one sided. But as much as she tried to convince herself that the idea of she and Maura being an item was never going to happen, she could only compare it to the idea of never really wanting to give up hope that maybe there was a Santa Clause.

"He's a nice guy," Jane finished her thoughts. "Now…any new leads on the Wilson murder?"

"Nothing new," Maura said tossing her French fry back on to her plate, only half eaten. "You know what? I didn't even realize till right now I've got to go. I've got an early day tomorrow."

"It's 7 p.m.? How early are you talking?"

"I'll call you tomorrow," Maura smiled and stood.

"You're going to see your new man?" Jane asked smiling. "Go on. Admit it."

"No. No man," Maura shook her head. "Wishful thinking though," she smiled. "Goodbye Jane."

Jane watched her go, waving as the door opened.

Biting her bottom lip, still sitting in her car Jane made up her mind. "What's the worst that can happen?"

She could yell at you.

She could lecture you on the behavioral science behind what it is you're doing.

She could have you thrown in jail.

She could use your own handcuffs against you, throw you on her desk, ripping open your…

Jane shook her head to break that current train of thought. "God, I need to get laid," she ran her fingers through her long black hair. "Okay Maura. You won't talk. Fine. I have a way of getting my answers." She started her car and smiled. "Here we go…"

Sitting inside the car Jane was shocked.

She just watched a very confident and very sexy looking Doctor make her way inside a female bar. A 'female only' bar. "No way…" she whispered as she parked her car. Maybe she is following up on a lead from the Wilson murder. "At a gay bar? And without any back up or cover…alone?"

An hour and a half later Jane scooted up seeing the blond doctor leaving the bar, her arm around a taller lanky brunette. The brunette was leaning in close, and suddenly pulled Maura to her, brining her back against the side of the building, kissing her deeply.

"Whoa," Jane shook her head. "Okay lead my ass!" she felt the little jealousy bug begin to tear into her. "Who the hell does this chick think she is? You don't molest a Boston Homicide chief medical Examiner in the middle of the street!" She was ranting to herself in the car.

Do something! Stop her!

Jane quickly dialed Maura's number. She watched as Maura pulled away and took her cell out of her leather jacket pocket. "Dr. Isles," she held her finger up and motioned for the girl to wait.

"Maura," Jane said watching the woman across the street.

"Hey Jane. Is there something new on the Wilson case?"

"Nothing," Jane said drumming her fingers against the steering wheel.

"Are you okay?"

"No. Yes. I mean…" Jane was trying to come up with anything. She saw the brunettes head come in closer and wrap her hands around Maura's waist, running her hands up inside Maura's jacket.

"Can you tell her to keep it in her pants till you're at least off the phone with me," Jane mumbled without thinking.

Maura's head shot up.

Shit. Oh shit. Shit. Shit.

She saw Maura scanning the cars in front of the bar. "Where are you Jane?"

"You know what?" Jane took a breath. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry. Go back to your date."

"Honk your horn," Maura said still scanning the streets. Jane did as she was asked. "Stay put." Jane watched as Maura flipped her phone shut and turned around, saying something to the woman she was with. The woman waited a moment and then went back inside. Maura looked both ways before crossing the street and making her way down the road.

"I stayed put," Jane said as she watched her passenger side door open.

"You're spying on me?" Maura asked. She didn't sound as mad or 'ready to take aim' as Jane assumed she might be.

"And you're not yelling at me," Jane looked innocently to her right. "I'm sorry. It was stupid. I was just worried. You've been so…distant."

"Did it ever occur to you that I've been distant for a reason?" Maura asked curious.

Jane sat there in silence.

No it hadn't.

"No," Jane shook her head. "I realize now I shouldn't have followed you."

"You broke a rule."

"What rule?"

"The trust rule Jane," Maura shook her head. "How am I supposed to trust you now that I know you've been snooping around, following me? I mean how long has this been going on?"

"This is the first time," Jane held up her right hand, as if taking an oath. "Maura I swear to you."

Maura watched the Detective, her best friend, and nodded. "Okay. I believe you."

She began to get out. "So that's it?" Jane asked. "You're going back inside to…her." Jane said the last word with such hate and discontent.

"That was the idea, yeah."

"So you're dating women now?"

"I've always dated women," Maura answered. "Is that a problem?"

"Does anyone else know?"

Maura raised her eyebrows. "I'm not sure. Are you upset with this information Jane?"

"I'm your best friend Maura. How come I didn't know?"

"I guess it never came up," Maura shook her head. "What is this? 50 questions Jane?" Maura paused and took a breath realizing she wasn't exactly giving the Detective a fair shot to catch up. "Look I'll talk with you more tomorrow. How about we meet for coffee?"

Jane turned her head and looked forward. "Sure. Coffee."

"Great. I'll call you," Maura smiled. "We're good?"

"We're good," Jane nodded. She watched as her best friend crossed the street. A few moments went by before Jane made up her mind. It was now or never.

The dimly lit bar brought a relaxed calm to the Doctor who walked back inside. She approached the bar. "White Wine," she smiled at the blond.

"Didn't you just leave?" The bartender smiled.

"Now I'm back," Maura reached out accepting the glass. "Thanks."

"Hate to break your heart, but that tall lanky one you were with before…she just took off about two minutes ago." Maura nodded. 'Of course she did,' she thought.

"So much for getting lucky," Maura laughed and shrugged.

"She isn't your type," the voice spoke softly from behind Maura. Maura didn't turn around.

"And I suppose you know my type?" she challenged. She recognized Jane's voice immediately.

"You need someone who gets you. Someone who keeps you guessing? You don't like it when there is no puzzle to figure out."

"Is that so? Anything else?"

"You need someone who is as dedicated and fierce about her work as you are, someone who understands what makes you tic, what drives you."

"Good point," Maura said still not turning to face the black haired beauty.

"You need someone who won't leave here tonight, spend a few heated hours of passion in your bed or hers and then never call you again. That's not what you want."

"What do I want?"

"You want love. You want someone who sees you, Maura. You want truth. You want to know that when the chips are down, when everything is falling down around you they'll be there holding your hand, never leaving your side. Someone who sees when you're scared, afraid. Someone who knows how to make you laugh. Someone who loves you as much as you love them," Jane finished. She knew it was a chance. She knew deep down she could be making the biggest mistake of her life.

"Love me?"

"I love you," Jane said as she watched Maura turn slowly around. "I love you. And I want to leave here with you not because I have too, but because I want too. Can you see me Maura? Can you see that I'm telling you the truth."

Maura nodded. "I can see." She approached slowly, kissing Jane softly. "I can see." She pulled back and smiled. "Only a few heated hours huh?"

"That's just to start," Jane smiled pulling Maura toward the door. "Let's see if you can keep up."

FIN