Title: One Too Many

Category: Games » Dragon Age

Rated: T

Genre: Humor/Romance

Varric sighed heavily as he gently laid Bianca down. His fingertips slipped along her form adoringly. He tugged his coat off slipping his arms from the sleeves and winced at the pain in his side. That blasted coiter got a lucky slice at him. Damned assassin. He suddenly felt his age. How was that even possible?

He carelessly tossed his coat on a chair and sat exhausted on his bed. Varric's eyes widened at the sudden hiss. "What the…" He hopped up, grabbed Bianca and whipped around aiming his crossbow at his bed. "Alright, who ever you are… come out slowly."

"Shhh… I'm hiding."

Bianca was lowered slightly as Varric's brows furrowed, "Hawke?"

"Shhh!"

He set Bianca back down and scratched at his stubbled chin wearily. To say the man was confused by the idea of the Champion of Kirkwall hiding under his bed was like saying Sebastian was religious… it was a huge understatement. Varric finally asked, "What are you doing down there?"

"Hiding!" Came Hawke's predictable, strangled whisper. "And if you don't keep your voice down they'll find me."

Varric chuckled in amusement and shook his head. "Come on out, Hawke. Let's talk."

Reluctantly, Hawke peeked out from under his bed with dust bunnies in her otherwise black short coif. "Only if you buy me a pint."

"You're the one with a mansion, you should be buying me a pint." He grinned at his friend and helped her out from under his bed. Varric still needed answers, "What could possibly be going on to rattle the Champion of Kirkwall?"

Hawke fluffed her hair to shake out any dust bunnies and pouted down at him. "I'll give you two guesses and I'm sure you'll be right on both accounts."

"Love trouble… I should have known." Varric walked to his door and hollered down to the barmaid for the pints before returning to his table and taking a seat. He eyed his friend, noting her unease and asked, "Do you want to talk about this?"

Hawke fell rather ungracefully across the chair, draping one leg over the arm, and sighed dramatically before responding, "Men can be such babies."

Varric couldn't help but laugh at her antics. "And women are so much easier?"

"Yes!" Hawke nodded emphatically in agreement. "I know where I stand with Isabella. We have fun. We go our separate ways and have fun elsewhere. No complications, no strings, just lusty fun."

"And I take it the brooding brothers took offense." Hawke was a free loving woman, never claiming to be otherwise. She took pleasure where she wanted, when she wanted and asked nothing more from her partner than the same in return. Elena entered with the pints. Varric gave the barmaid a nod of thanks as Hawke tossed handed the woman coin for the service. The two waited for Elena to close the door behind her before they continued their conversation. Varric just had to ask, "What did you expect, Harke? Men are territorial. We want what we want and we don't share our toys well."

Hawke curled her legs into the chair and pouted. "I'm no toy, Varric." Taking a long drink from her tankard, she visibly relaxed. "How is it I can talk to you about these things?" She leaned her head against the back of the chair. "You've never once tried to bed me. Am I that repulsive to you?"

Varric snorted in amusement. "I figured you have enough dissent in the ranks. Do you really need me to add to your troubles?" Varric stared at his ale contemplating, not only her response to his question, but his own feelings on the matter.

"I don't suppose so." Hawke relented. Varric grinned at the contents of his tankard before taking a long drink. Her eyes watched his throat as he swallowed, traveling to his tuft of hair exposed on his broad chest. "Still, I've never been with a dwarf…"

Varric sputtered and choked on his ale when he burst out laughing at her. When he finally caught his breath, Varric swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes were dancing with humor when he stated, "I sometimes forget how direct you are."

She grinned back unrepentantly. "Yes, no coy banter with me I'm afraid." Hawke's smile dimmed and she sighed softly before lifting her tankard to her lips. She licked the remnants from her lips before admitting, "Not tonight at any rate… I don't seem to have it in me to deal with a man."

Varric snorted: half amused, half insulted, "Oh? And I'm not a man?"

Hawke giggled and waved him off, "Oh you're a man, it just isn't-"

Her words were cut short by a commotion outside his door. She growled, hopped up and dove for Varric's bed leaving the man sitting at the table chuckling at her. Varric finished his ale and set his empty tankard down as his door came crashing open.

"Varric…"

"Blondie." Varric remained at the table and watched the mage with interest as Anders looked hurriedly around the room as if searching for something or rather for someone.

"Have you seen, Hawke?" Anders' eyes were narrowed, his face was grim and he looked behind him several times within the span of a minute.

"Hawke? Human woman, about five-seven, possibly one twenty-five, short silky black hair, silvery gray eyes that can melt even the strongest man's resolve, soft lips of red wine… that Hawke?" Varric smirked as his words artfully painted a picture in his mind.

Anders' look softened and he sighed. "Yes, that Hawke." He glanced behind him again, only this time his look hardened before his gaze returned to the dwarf. "She… she left… rather suddenly and I can't find her." He glanced behind him yet again. "I really need to-"

"Leave her alone." Fenris snarled as he too entered Varric's rooms. "Haven't you done enough damage, mage?"

Varric heaved himself out of his chair. "As enjoyable as your visits are gentlemen, I suggest you take it elsewhere. I'm expecting a lovely someone and I doubt she will want interruptions." He glanced pointedly at the extra tankard on the table. "It is a private affair… if you catch my meaning." Varric grinned broadly and gave an eyebrow wiggle to stress his point.

"I… oh." Anders had the decency to nod curtly and back out of the room. "The door was… closed. Right."

Fenris' shoulders slumped momentarily upon seeing the tankard. He gave Varric another look. "Varric-"

"The man wants you to leave. Or did you not understand him?" Anders sneered from the hallway.

Fenris ignored Anders and kept his focus on Varric. "When you see her. Tell her…" He sighed heavily and shook his head. "No… don't tell her. Maybe…" He gave Varric a pained look before straightening. "Right, I should go."

Varric closed his door firmly behind the pair and leaned his back against it for a moment listening for any stragglers. Hawke slipped out from under his bed again and sneezed. "You should have them clean under there." She dusted her blouse and slacks off to prove her point..

Varric chuckled as his eyes raked over her form noting the dust bunnies still clinging to her. "A few more times of you diving under my bed, I won't need anyone to clean there."

"Do you know what frightens me?" Hawke returned to the table and took her seat. She curled her legs under here with her tankard in hand.

"Frightens you? You're the Champion of Kirkwall. I didn't think anything frightened you." Varric grinned at her trying to lighten her mood. He sighed in defeat at her pained look and asked, "What frightens you, Hawke?"

She stared blindly into her tankard and bit her lip. "Sebastian may be right. I've made such a mess of my relationships. Maybe I should consider being chaste."

Varric didn't merely sit back down in his chair he fell into it as if punched in the stomach. "Woof. Now those are some words I never thought I'd hear from you." He scratched his stubbly chin. "That's a bit of a drastic change don't you think?"

"I've been talking in length with Grand Cleric Ethenia. She's amazingly clear in her faith. So unwavering, so strong. I admire that." Hawke continued staring into her tankard when a thought struck her. "I wonder if I'd have to give up ale… that could be a deal breaker."

Varric huffed out a chuckle and shook his head proclaiming, "I never know when to believe you, Hawke. You could be the storyteller instead of me."

"Nah…" She sighed as her eyes were drawn back to her friend and admitted, "But it is something to think on, that's for sure."

"You're serious?" Varric peered at her.

"Would you still love me?" Hawke grinned coyly.

"Of course…" Varric sat back and rested his elbows on the arms of his chair. He studied his friend and saw she was partially serious. Varric was intrigued and like any good information broker prodded Hawke for more, "I'm just not sure how the others will take this news of chastity. You know how Blondie feels about the Chantry."

"Screw Blondie and his feelings. What about mine?" She frowned with a glance towards the door. "Those two bicker like old biddies and leave me diving under your bed for comfort. What sort of life is that?" She took a long pull from her drink. "You do realize Fenris knows I'm here. Don't you?"

"I'm not surprised. His oddly cryptic parting words were a bit of a hint." He tilted his head and asked, "So now what, Champion?"

"I give up on all men…" She waved an airy hand and finished her ale. "Or not. I'm not very decisive tonight." Setting her tankard down, she shivered suddenly, "Or I could just be too sober."

Hawke groaned as she woke. Her head was pounding relentlessly. She winced at the pain. The bed shifted and an arm pulled her closer. She whimpered softly and snuggled into the warmth of his embrace. Her hand slipped across his hard chest. Her fingers curled into the soft thick tuft of hair.

She stiffened as her current position strikes her. Hawke's eyes open. "Varric?"

"Hmm…" Varric stretched lithely, keeping her curled up close to him.

Hawke shivered in delight with their closeness and propped her head with her elbow. Her fingers continued to slip through the soft hair on his chest. "Did we…"

Varric opened his sleepy eyes halfway and glanced at her with a smirk. "No."

She sighed softly in relief. "Oh good…"

He quirked his eyebrow at her in question. Varric wasn't awake enough to be his usual verbose self and only asked, "Good?"

Hawke bit her lip bottom lip before she tried to explain her reasoning. Her fingers continued its play in his chest hair as she told him, "I just mean… well as I said. I've never been with a dwarf. I'd hate for my first time with you to have been so drunk I forgot it."

He laughed at that. "Thanks."

Hawke laid her head back down and snuggled against him. Varric's hand idly strokes down her spine lulling her back to sleep. Hawke sighs contently, "I think I drank too much."

"You did." Varric agrees as he attempts to drift back to sleep.

"Varric?" Hawke's fingers smooth the hair on his chest as her hand travels down to rest at his waist.

"Hmmm…" Varric didn't hide his amusement with her as a small grin spread across his features.

"If we didn't have sex… why am I naked?" She propped her chin on his chest. Varric's grin broadened yet he didn't speak. "Oh, well played."

AN: Revamped, edited and reposted.