Gotta Slay em all! (Pokémon X Buffy)
Warnings: crack-ficish in some places
Pokémon Timeline: whatever
Buffy Timeline: Beginning of Season 3 (season 3 gang minus Cordy) Willow has messed up magic and Faith is still on the good side(kinda).
When I started I had just woken up, then I got really really hyped up on suger and I get soo weird when I have too much suger (ask anyone who knows me, in real life or otherwise) this will be my very first Buffy fic and my very first Pokemon fic, and is the crakiest-crack-fic I've ever written. No more soda pop for me no! You can see origanally it wasn't very crack-ish, but my suger high mind has these odd thoughts and I just write them down for no reason whatsoever. Enjoy!
Buffy, Xander, Willow, Faith, and Oz yelled as they each landed on the hard ground.
"Oww!" Xander moaned slowly sitting up.
"Sorry! I'm Sorry! It wasn't supposed to work that way!" Willow quickly apologized scrambling to gather leaves and parts of the spell that had seemed to come with them for some reason.
"How was it 'supposed' to work again?" Buffy grunted slightly getting to her feet.
"I believe the plan was 'we were supposed to teleport to class so we wouldn't get in trouble for studying the undead all night and oversleeping'." Oz offered shrugging.
"That is the last time I decide to go to class at all-not that even when I hung out at the school I did, but still I wasn't going to get in any trouble if I didn't show. I don't go to your school-how did I get talked into this again?" Faith began to mumble as she kicked a few rocks, speaking up she looked around and said: "Where are we anyway?" Willow bit her lip glancing around.
"I'm…not…sure." Faith threw up her hands and gave an exasperated sigh as she dropped all her stuff (that she was going to drop off at the library-its slayer stuff) on a nearby rock. The rock made a noise like it was upset and began to stand up.
"What the-"
"Holy crap!"
"What is that?"
"Is it a demon?" Members of the Scooby gang (that were present) yelled. Suddenly they heard another voice.
"Pikachu go!" A high pitched voice yelled suddenly an odd looking rat leapt in front of the bolder.
"Ash wait! You know electric Pokémon are bad at fighting rock Pokémon!" Came a high pitched voice of a teenage girl.
"I don't care! Pikachu! Thunderbolt now!"
"Picka-CHUUUUUUUUU!" The gang watched interested for a moment as a large thunderbolt shot down from the sky onto the rock-thing.
"Ash you idiot, let me help! Go Starmie!" The girl threw a red and white ball onto the ground and after a flash of light a strange looking starfish-like thing appeared. "Now Starmie! Water Pulse!" the odd starfish thing started spinning and shooting water at the rock-thing. Buffy glanced at Willow as they watched the exchange.
"So…your spell went wrong and now everything is a freak show?"
"It looks that way doesn't it?" Willow sighed sitting down cross-legged on the grass. The rock tipped over after a few blasts of water from the starfish. When it tipped over Faith walked over to it and looked at it.
"Hey, B, come over here it looks like it has a face or something, and arms." Faith yelled over her shoulder as she examined the rock. Buffy walked over to Faith.
"What the heck is it?"
Faith shook her head. "I don't know, B, it doesn't look like it's dead though."
"Maybe you should tell that to the freak show who knocked it out."
******************Ash and his gang's POV*******************
After they knocked out the Graveler the other teens who had almost been attacked by it began walking over and looking at it and muttering to one another in confused voices.
"What are they doing?" Misty murmured to Ash. "Haven't they seen a Graveler before?"
"Even if they hadn't why don't they just use their pokedex?" Brock asked finally catching up to Ash and Misty.
"Hey!" Ash called to them, he waved. Two of them looked at him suspiciously, a blond and brunette girl. The brown haired girl crossed her arms over her chest like she was annoyed or impatient with Ash. The blond girl seemed slightly friendlier.
"Yes?" The blond called back.
"Why don't you use your pokedex?" The group glanced at each other and muttered out of earshot of Ash and his friends some more. Finally the two girls walked up to Ash and his group while a redhead girl followed them along with two boys one with messy-either it was light brown or dirty blond-hair and the other with dark brown hair. The blond now crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at them.
"What's a pokedex?"
Ash stood open-mouthed. "What are you talking about? You guys are trainers right?" Misty spoke for Ash.
"Trainers?" The brown haired girl asked. "Trainers for what?"
"You know a Pokémon trainer." The other teens talked among themselves for a while once again.
"What's a Pokémon?" the blond asked. The dark haired boy turned to the redhead.
"Will, please tell me there's a way out of this!" He begged the girl. She smiled sadly and shook her head.
"I'm not sure, Xander."
The blond glared at the two. "Shh! Ok again, what's a Pokémon?"
"Isn't Pokémon short for 'pocket monster'? The redhead offered. The blond glanced at the redhead and back at Ash and his group.
"Are you guys CRAZY? No, we're not trainers. Monsters and demons are dangerous, you shouldn't be messing with them you could get killed!" The blond seemed enraged at them Ash and Misty flinched away in fear, Brock..was being…Brock and began to drool at all the pretty teenage girls WHO HAD BOYFRIENDS except for Faith who would beat him the crap up, unaware of what anybody was saying. Ash struggled to help this make sense to the strange teens.
"No, no their not dangerous everybody trains Pokémon." Then Ash thrust his chest out. "I'm going to become a Pokémon master!" The teens stared at him blankly. Misty sighed. "This is going to take a while. Maybe we should introduce ourselves, I'm Misty, this is Ash, and this is Brock. Ash is a trainer, and Brock and I are gym leaders, though Brock wants to be a Pokémon breeder."
"Okay" the blond said. "I'm Buffy."
"I'm Faith." The brown haired girl said.
"And these are our friends, Willow, Xander, and Oz." Buffy continued pointing at the redhead girl, and two boys.
"So if you're not trainers what are you?" Ash asked.
"Well, we're Vampire Slayers." Faith said gesturing to herself and Buffy.
"I'm going to be a Wicca!" Willow said gleefully jumping a little. "I-I mean a witch." She said trying to hide her embarrassment for getting all excited.
"I'm a werewolf." Oz said in a monotone voice. Ash and co. stared at Xander.
"You got me! I'm a normal person." He said with slight bitterness in his voice.
"It's okay, Xand." Buffy said patting him on the back. "I don't think you're normal."
"Really?" Xander said, touched.
"None of us ever did." Willow chimed in.
"Aww, thanks guys."
Brock stepped up. "What exactly are all those things you mentioned-except for you" he said pointing at Xander. "I don't want to know what's wrong with you. What's a Vampire Slayer? Witch? And Werewolf?"
"At least he didn't ask what an un-normal person is! Gee I must be one-of-a-kind here in this freak show." Xander said with heavy sarcasm in his voice. The comment earned him several glares.
"Well, the slayers" Oz said pointing at Buffy and Faith. "Slay vampires and other things, witches," He said running his fingers through Willow's hair. "Cast spells, and werewolves." He said pointing at himself. "Well, I turn into one on the full moon and two days surrounding it."
"Oh." Misty, Ash, and Brock said in unison.
"Now, what's a Pokémon? Why do you want to train them?"
"Well, to get gym badges and to have the Pokémon help us, of course."
"So you're like their overlords or something?"
********Crack ficness starts here**********
"What? No!"
"I mean, because to me, this whole thing looks like someone made one heck of a deal with a demon, to have all these little demons scampering around."
"They are NOT demons!" Misty shouted. Soon a full fight had broken out between the Scooby Gang and Ash's crew. Unfortunately after the trainers started making their Pokémon attack the scoobies Faith opened up the duffle bag and pulled out all kinds of nasty looking weapons and began to sob uncontrollably. Misty pulled all her Pokémon back into pokeballs but not before Willow had completed a short spell and her squirtle was totally unconscious. They stared at the scoobies in fear,
"you think we're crazy! You guys are the crazy ones!" Ash screamed. Faith had had enough of Ash's odd high-pitched voice and pulled out a long knife that she wasn't supposed to have.
"I'd be quite if I were you." Everyone except Ash shut up.
"No! You're all weird, and strange, and not natural, and you must live under rocks to not know what a Pokémon is!" Soon Ash joined his Pikachu in moaning on the ground.
"You are violent people!" Misty cried. "Humans shouldn't hurt other humans! We live in peace and force Pokémon to fight our battles!"
"Right, and I'm the tooth fairy!" Suddenly the sky turned pink. "If there's peace why do the odd little monster things fight?" Faith said sarcasm dripping from her voice. She held the knife near Misty and Brock totally fed up. They should have suspected something was wrong when Broke was suddenly dressed like little bow peep.
"Faith! You know you're not suppose to kill people!" Buffy scolded her like a child.
"Well you didn't stop me from killing that Ash guy?"
"That's because he was getting on my nerves!"
Suddenly a large balloon that looked like a cat descended from the sky.
Willow, Xander, and Oz groaned and covered their ears as Team Rocket began their spiel.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!'
" To denounce the evils of Truth and Love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
" Jesse!"
" James!"
"Team Rocket Blast of at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Mee-outh! That's right!"
"What the crap is wrong with you people?" Faith yelled at the odd people. "And what's with the name? Either your brainless or gay, possibly both." Everyone gasped.
"Faith! We've invaded a kid's show! You can't say things like that and you can't kill people!" Buffy scolded her yet again. Suddenly Spike flew down on wings and was humming softly to himself.
"SPIKE?" The scoobies yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
Faith didn't take notice and talked back to Buffy. "Well sorry, B, everyone knows my very character is not child-appropriate!"
"I'll do whatever the heck I want to do, thank you verrrryyy much!" Spike sang and he continued to float around with his wings. Willow ran to Buffy.
"It's the apocalypse! I get it now!"
"Will, are you sure?" Willow pointed at the flying Spike and pink sky and for some unexplainable reason all the Pokémon were bleeding to death on the ground must've been Faith when they had their backs turned for a second, and Xander was in a dress with glitter all over it screaming. Ms. Calendar's face appeared in a cloud and said: "The end is pretty seriously nigh." Then vanished. The blood from the Pokémon began to change color and then it flew randomly into the air and made rainbows. Spike who was so very high ran to Xander and huged him. "I love you man." He slurred. Xander screamed again-sounding oddly like Ash for a second.
"Oh, this is so much worse than all the other apocalypses!" Buffy cried. Faith had a gun and was trigger happy and killed more trainers and Pokémon. She turned to Willow, but suddenly everyone's face was her mother's.
"Buffy."
"Buffy."
"Buffy."
"Buffy, wake up."
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Buffy screamed as she sat up in bed. No it wasn't her bed. She was on the couch. Her math book sprawled open on the floor next to her and Willow's many empty cups of coffee. Willow was curled up on a nearby chair and Buffy's mom gently began to shake the redhead awake. Then it all came back to her, they were having a study night at her house this time, since for once Willow's parents were home. And since Buffy had never met Willow's partents or Oz for that matter-heck they would go into shock if they met Oz or knew that Willow was dating him, she didn't think a good first impression would be to trash the place, but since all her friends already knew her mother they were going to trash her place. Xander stirred a little disturbed by her yelling popcorn still in his mouth while a cartoon played on the TV, after she and Willow had crashed he must've thought he could get away with watching it. Then he sat up as he accidently swallowed some popcorn and began coughing. Faith, was dressed and obviously well-rested grinning smugly at Buffy and the others for studying till they passed out. Oz was leaning against Willow's chair burying his face in her hair. Buffy smiled they really were a cute couple. Then she looked back at the TV.
"Ash wait! You know electric Pokémon are bad at fighting rock Pokémon!"
"I don't care! Pikachu! Thunderbolt now!"
"Picka-CHUU-" Buffy turned the TV off.
" I was watchin that," Xander said having stopped coughing.
"Time for school." Buffy said, and Xander rolled his eyes.
"School?" Willow was instantly awake. Oz blinked awake since Willow had shifted.
No apocalypse yet, another day another weird dream. And that was that.
Suddenly Spike woke up. He looked at the 20 bottles of liquor lying about and the one still in his hand, he thought of the oddest dream he had ever had and poured out the rest of the bottle he had been holding. "Weird.." He muttered, then passed out again.