.-.

"i hate you."

her hand comes up to hold santana steady at the nape of her neck. "i know."

"i fucking hate you."

brittany smiles, her lips twitching up.

"you think this is funny?" santana arches an eyebrow, disgust in her eyes.

"no. i think you're funny."

she knows it's just santana's way of ignoring her feelings.

.-.

brittany's always been a bit of a delicate flower.

one that always smells fresh and dances like sunshine.

she also happens to find herself kissing santana breathless when she's upset.

and santana doesn't /(really! she doesn't!)/ like that.

so brittany keeps smiling, laughing, dancing, and hoping that someday she will.

.-.

"i just- get out of here. i can't handle this right now."

santana's words echo in her head as she remains frozen in front of the door.

one time, when brittany was really little and her parents had gone away, she asked her brother if she could go over to santana's house. he had shrugged and so she walked outside into gusts of cold wind and falling snow.

her mother had yelled at her brother for letting her go out without a coat on, but brittany hadn't cared because she had ultimately found heat in santana's arms.

it's as if she's still been standing there from then to now because, as she was all those years ago, she's covered in snow inside and out and waiting for the warmth.

but she knows, as she stares at the door one more time, that it won't come.

.-.

brittany's supposed to always be thinking about butterflies&rainbows&unicorns.

so it's more than a welcome release to pop in a My Little Pony and try to shrug off her troubles; to fly off into a world where flying is actually allowed.

where people like santana aren't throwing rocks to bring her back to the ground.

she hates reality. it stings in her eyes like a slushie facial and makes her feel alone in a crowded room.

people don't get why she enjoys being caught up in fairy tales, but they're where she belongs.

they're where she feels safe.

.-.

brittany senses her before she approaches; feels her presence before she hears the knock of cold fingers against the door.

she opens it and watches a strand of raven hair slowly fall as santana grabs her into a hug. it's more like an embrace, really, or a passionate embrace at that-

but santana hates labels, so brittany decides it's a hug.

and when they fall onto the bed undressed, the feeling of santana's fingers as they run along her skin is just sex.

nothing more, nothing less.

oh well, she thinks.

.-.

slowly but surely, santana starts to show that she cares about brittany.

it's just the little things- "i"s dotted with hearts on notes, tiny stuffed animals, little packets of M&Ms- that make brittany's heart swell three times its size, like in the Grinch.

and santana smiles at her, a finger coming up to lightly bop her on the nose.

brittany thinks she can breathe again.

but breathing doesn't ease her rapid heartbeat.

.-.

she is never more proud of santana when, in a flurry of unexpected happenings, she comes out. well, it's more a matter of being forced out, but...

brittany's proud.

proud that santana holds her hand in public.

proud that santana kisses her in the hallways at school.

and proud that she's actually her girlfriend.

that someone wants her like that and loves her like that and needs her like that and-

brittany realizes that the world can be a fairytale, if you let it.

.-.