Summer nights were supposed to be immortal. They are meant to be stories passed on to your grandchildren. Whether they are entertaining, heartfelt, or intended to forewarn them of life's ceaseless trials, they are something you are destined to keep with you. This night, this dark starless night, I felt nothing. Neither sorrow nor ecstasy came to mind. Merely neutrality.
How such an unpleasant emotion is permitted to latch its greedy, clenching hands unto human life is beyond comprehension. Feeling regret or even misery would be welcomed in place of this state of oblivion. No sign of compensation could be found even in the crowded rooms, for when emptiness floods the heart, there is no escaping. The endless darkness beckoned me as the garish strobe lights shoved me out the door.
The dark canvas of the star-swept sky enticed, if not lured, me out of the boisterous club. The warm summer breeze tousled my long black curls slightly, though I did not bother to arrange them in their proper place. Watching the narrow sliver in the sky with its ominous glow grinning down unto my pitiful form, I subconsciously swayed to the beat pounding so hard it was pulsating in my throat.
The girls I had accompanied to this abomination had managed to give me the slip and leave me unattended at the table. I should have felt dejected, should have been outraged, but neither appealed to me. Even when my self-proclaimed "best friend" managed to steal the one suitable guy away for the dance he had already promised me, there was a slight sting. Empty words and promises are prominent, reoccurring themes in my lifetime; it should be assumed I would adjust in time. Sixteen years just have not been enough I suppose.
The gravel crunched beneath underneath my heels while I stumbled alone to my vehicle. I fumbled through my bag in search of my keys, increasingly feeling as though any moment a serial killer might set his sights on me. With a relieved sigh I quickly unlock my door and slide behind in behind the steering wheel.
As I began to close the door, a hand grasps it sending my heart racing and ludicrous thoughts searing through my mind. I could not help reprimanding myself for the irony of it all. Just a few minutes ago I would relish the thought of any emotion, however now the opportunity had arose and I was petrified to the point I begged for nothing.
"Relax, Rae," a comforting voice I had grown to be so fond of mocked, "man, you should see your face"
Reality set back in and I hoarsely scolded, "That's not funny, Gar."
"Maybe not now," he teased, nudging me over to sit on the aisle seat of my Taurus as he took my place at the wheel, "but give it time. Trust me, when you look back on this, you'll be laughing so hard!"
I let out a small huff and rolled my eyes, "Whatever, Garfield. You won't be laughing for long."
"Is that a threat?" he cocked an eyebrow. I gazed into his eyes for a short moment before narrowing mine and nodding.
"You're not acting like yourself." He noted then revved up the engine.
"Did I say you could drive?" I clenched my jaw marginally.
"What's that? I can drive?" Garfield grinned before putting the car into drive and peeling out of the driveway.
"Typical." I rolled my eyes. "Care to inform me as to where we are going?"
"Haha...so why did you leave the party so soon?"
"I could be asking you the same thing. Have I ever told you that its extremely uncanny it is for you to somehow manage to avoid every one of my questions?"
"I could say the same about you." He tested.
"Alright," I accepted, "I guess I deserved that one. Didn't you dance with Tera? How'd that turn out?"
His fists tightened on the steering wheel, but despite my better judgment I pursued the conversation further.
"I've warned you about this Gar. She's trouble."
"Then why are you friends with her?!" Garfield's voice rose considerable as he chided me for my hypocrisy.
"That's different. I've learned to forgive her. But she only gets one second chance and she blew it a long time ago. I know I can never fully trust her again, no matter how much I truly wish to."
I cautiously peeked at Garfield from the corner of my eye. His expression softened, taking in the full meaning of my words. I couldn't help but notice a patch of stubble forming along his chin and just above his stern mouth. He looked older; more mature, handsome even.
"I hear what you are saying…but life is too short to dwell on past mistakes."
"It's also too short to try to change them in the future." I snapped.
Garfield was always trying to fix things, even when he knew they couldn't be. It was both heartwarming and pitiful. He never failed to look forward, never failed to bring a smile to everyone, but he also never knew when to give up and continue on a new path instead of trying to chase perfection on the one he was already on.
The car came to halt at the top of a hill overlooking the city.
"Can we just forget about her, if only for this one night?" he asked, desperation overriding his voice.
"…I guess so." I responded.
Silence, neither awkward nor enjoyable, flooded the atmosphere. We remained quiet in our seats for half an hour before we simultaneously opened our doors and sat on the hood of the blue car. I slipped into my state of detachment as per usual. Usually in this form I could feel others emotions radiating off of them, but this time I couldn't get a reading from Garfield. It was…neutral just as my own, and it caused me slip out of impartiality and fall prey to immense concern.
"Gar…is everything okay?" I mumbled, awkwardly leaning closer to him to get a better few.
"Yea, everything is fine." He whispered back.
"A-are you sure?" I began to turn apprehensive at his stale tone.
"Gee, Rae. You'd think I'd flat lined with how nervous you sound!"
"Don't scare me like that!" I exclaimed, my emotions beginning to unfurl, though I quickly suppressed them.
"…You really aren't yourself tonight." Garfield commented once more.
"Neither are you." I folded my arms across my chest defiantly, leaning against the car hood again.
With little more words to offer each other, Garfield wrapped his arms around my waist tenderly. A collective gasp escaped my parted lips, as Gar mocked my stunned expression with a taunting smile.
"Love you, Rae." He murmured into my ears.
"I'm gonna kill you!" I shrieked, thumping him on the head.
"Ow!" he laughed, " That's more like the you, Rae-Rae!"
"As if one 'Rae' wasn't bad enough…" I sighed.
"…I want the old Rae back." He artificially pouted.
"Too bad," I grinned.
Summer nights are meant to be immortal. They are stories to share with your grandchildren. All of those entertaining, heartfelt, and forewarning lessons, they are something you are destined to preserve. That night, that glorious pristine night, I felt everything. I learned the difference between neutrality and comfort in the presence of the ones you love.